More Mayhem

Well, well, well, a few twists and turns and other stuff.

Dancing With the Stars is so insignificant the participants are forgetting to vote for themselves. Whatever. The big story is Erin and Maks' hot and heavy romance. I think he's just really co-dependant and she's boring as hell. The dancers did the Argentine Tango and Samba and then swing dance or something that resembled it. Of course the ringers stayed at the top. Whatever. Jake the bachelor pilot was booted cuz nobody cared who he was. I repeat, he's not that good looking out of uniform and they kept showing his birdfaced homely girlfriend. Eyech, time to go home. There have been plenty of stumbles on the show, we just didn't like him. I do have to say, the producers made the most boring elimination show ever. There was no fun or humor and that's what saved it from being an old fogey affair. Zzzzzz... Later on Jimmy Kimmel, I give kudos to Kimmel for making Jake have some personality and finding humor in the most boring guy on earth. When they threw the dance shoes in the fire, I was wishing Jake was in them.


The crying fatties had a fun week. They had a room that they ate all their meals in. The good part? They didn't have to cook. The bad part? It not only had healthy food in it, it had all the bad junk food too. I love the point when the fatties actually get nauseated by eating too much or eating junky food that you know they shoved in by the ton in their old lives. The Samoan brothers are showing they're no dummies. Colie decided he'd do the eating cuz the person who consumed the most calories in a day would get the only vote at elimination. Boy did this guy eat and...he enjoyed it. Victoria was sent home after sharing the bottom with Michael. The original fatties have bonded so it was no surprise that Colie cast his sole vote for her. She was boring anyway. Bye! Go back to your stupid crying Mama who begged you back into the game when you totally didn't deserve it. I found Victoria really irritating cuz she seemed like a 12 yr old in an adult body. Ick.

This week on Top Chef Masters, it was the lucky losers from last season. What a group from Wylie Dufresne to Jonathan Waxman with Rick Moonen, Ludo Lefebre and a couple of others. It was totally impressive and hard to know who to root for. I loved Chef Waxman's laid back approach. When everybody was running around making complicated dishes, he cooked tasty but simple dishes and had time to drink his cocktails and watch everybody else run around. Ludo was so French, he couldn't make pub food if he tried. He still had his French arrogance that really got under the other chefs' skins. I was disappointed that Chef Dufresne didn't use his molecular gastronomy but oh well. In the end, Chef Waxman won and Rick Moonen joined him for the champions round. I missed James Oseland but I'm sure he has a real life. Chef Lefebre has declared he'll be back for next season. I just hope he showers before that. He looks homeless and that's not appetizing at all.

Survivor finally had the merge. We first got to see Russell and his gang chuckling over the stupidity of the Heroes. If I didn't hate Parvati before, I do now; even more than Russell and I hope he hands her ass to her on a platter. So the teams merged and there was no reward challenge. The only Hero who seemed to realize he was in a game was Colby. The more JT talked, the dumber he seemed. "He swore on his children's lives. I know I can trust him." We got footage of Parvati and her fellow bucked toothed crony helping themselves to the bananas and boy, they must be a rare thing cuz it irked the Heroes. Umm...you guys do know you can't just save them forever and you are on a tropical island. Jeez. I'd be more mad about the fact that people sit around on their fat asses instead of fishing or crabbing or gathering some kind of protein. For the immunity challenge, it was the old; Who can stay on a notched pole the longest? There must've been a rule that they couldn't climb to the very top cuz nobody roosted on top. The Heroes fell one by one and Candace seemed to have it in the bag and then just gave up cuz she felt like it. Huh? At tribal council, Jeff asked his stupid obvious questions except the one we all want to know. Jeez Danielle and Parvati, didn't they have braces when you were little? Your teeth enter the council area a half an hour before you do. Okay, I digress. So the Heroes were smugly smiling thinking they had a clever plan voting for Jerri and making Parvati think she was going. After the voting, Parvati promptly gave on immunity idol to Sandra and one to Jerri thus protecting the open people because Danielle earned immunity from the challenge. I loved the look of total puzzled surprise from JT who was voted out. Here's a lesson JT, just cuz the guy's from your neck of the woods doesn't mean he's not a snake. Next time Heroes, stick with the game and give the immunity challenge your best try. I was totally disgusted.

America's Next Top Model may be the next series to be cancelled. It's so totally boring and inane. I thought that mom/model was gone awhile ago. They're kind of starting to look alike. Anyway, the girls had a runway thing and then had a photoshoot that was kind of creepy. They wore outfits made of human hair. It wasn't even sleek human hair. Some of it looked like something they shaved off of Grizzly Adams. Ick. One great moment in the show was when Alaysia was late and the other girls didn't wait for her. She tried to say nobody said anything to her that they were going. Okay, first, you're in a house of girls running around getting ready. Doesn't it give you clue that maybe you should do the same? Second, this isn't your family and nobody's really expected to look after the baby. Third, Raina did give you a 4 minute warning and you didn't hurry up. Not only would I have left her but I think I would've blocked the door so she couldn't get out of the apartment either. So anyway, blah blah blah, Ansleigh was sent home. At least I think that's her name. You know, the mom/model. And...another white girl bites the dust and...nobody cares.

RR/RW Challenge: Fresh Meat 2 was rather interesting. There's definitely a Wes side and a Kenny side. Wes is proving he's not the dick this season and Kenny...well when is Kenny not a dick? For the challenge, the couples had to make their way across a suspended bunch of what the host said was logs. Logs? Those were huge knobbly branches. Ironically, Kenny and his partner had to go first and they still did it fastest. Evelyn and her partner were paired against Paula and her partner for the elimination. Schaudenfreude really kicked in when Paula screamed after hearing the horn that signaled the other team had crossed the finish line. Yay! I've hated Paula every season. She's skanky, horse faced and cries when she doesn't get her way. Ew, grow up. Now the majority of the house is in Wes' hands. Yay! I love to see Kenny squirm. He's going to have to win every challenge from now on.

The food Channel is having some kind of boring old ladyish cooking competition called Ultimate Recipe Challenge. Whatever. The contestants are the whitest, slow people you've ever met and you expect half of them to drag their knuckles on the ground when they go up to the judges to present their dishes. Nothing's really new and the people can't seem to do the simplest things. The judges look just as bored as the viewers. The only bright spot is Guy Fieri who injects a little humor sometimes. He needs to do more. I love when he kind of disses a dish. One time, they offered him a taste of a gross looking dish and he said, "No thank you." Hee hee hee

I have found The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family are really good in repeated re-runs. I miss original episodes but at least they're on.

Law and Order: CI lost it's main original characters but proved it's all about good writing. Goldblum is doing a great job keeping it intelligent, quirky and funny. One thing you'll always notice on the Law & Order shows; they eat and it's fun to see.

Okay so on the Amazing Race the racers went to China. The gay bros and detectives were unfortunate in getting cabdrivers who didn't understand English. The cowboys amazed us once again by showing they can just about handle any challenge thrown at them. I think the main thing is, they just try their best and keep at it until it's done. I loved the teeny midget with the cigarette that looked like a cigar in his mouth. One cowboy, Jet, quipped, "It proves smoking does stunt your growth." Then the teams had a detour and then another roadblock. The cowboys hit the mat first and the detectives got to the mat last and were going to take the loss with stiff upper lips. I loved the one detective, "Why can't they give us a task like kicking in doors or chasing crackheads?" LOL! Fortunately for them, it turned out to be a non-elimination leg and everybody was happy. I love these NY detectives. They somehow do remind me of those Law & Order cops.

The Celebrity Apprentice finally had a money raising task but they combined it with a conceptual thing too. First, we had to watch the winning team leader, Cindy Lauper give the check to the ASPCA. At least there weren't any kids. Then Trump took the opportunity to have his whole freakin' family on TV except Tiffany. The teams were mixed up to be co-ed. The task was for 24 hour fitness. The teams first had to make a work-out routine and then get participating donations. There would be a concept win and a winner of who raised the most money. I loved the concept of the team of Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne and Maria Kanellis. It was hilarious and different and looked like you could do it if you weren't a gym rat. In the end, Osbourne's team won the concept but Robinson-Peete's team won the money raising. Because there have been so many drop outs this season, Trump didn't fire anyone this episode. When you're contracted to a certain number of episodes, it's kind of expected and now was a good time to do it cuz everybody on the show now, wants to be there. The best part of the show? Watching Sharon Osbourne flick her whip at people who were working out. How hilariously wicked was that?

Okay, that's it and it's been an enjoyable week. See ya next time people!

People are sooooo stupid.

This week on TV was more fun with the real shows than the reality shows; at least in most cases.

Rupaul's Drag Race was down to the last 4. From the banter in the makeup room, it seems Raven is the only realist in the group. First the girls had to make themselves look unique with the same basic black dress in only a half an hour. Panic ensued cuz these guys take a couple of hours to make themselves look like girls. Most of the guys said, "Screw it." and just worked on the clothes and wig. Jujubee was amazing and did the whole makeup and padding but still didn't win. Huh? All the other guys proved they're really ugly without the makeup. Tyra won that mini challenge and had to direct the production of the Diva Awards. For someone who really doesn't play well with others, this was not a fun production for anybody. So the girls did kitchy dancing and lip synching and in the end, Tatiana was sent home. Bye. Sorry, if it weren't Tyra Sanchez, then it had to be you and it's never Tyra Sanchez. I can't stand that guy. Not only does he have a stupid superiority complex, but he's annoying as hell and always looks like he's smelling dooky. Whatever.

Dancing with the non-Stars wasn't worth watching the actual dancing, so I only tuned in to see who got booted off. I don't understand why there's so much promoting of music stars but at least they're showing the pros dancing to it. I was glad to see Pamela Anderson started to take the competition seriously and showed she could dance. Of course she's good at the Rumba, isn't it basically sex moves standing upright? Schaudenfreude kicked in while watching Scherzinger boo hoo about being told she wasn't that great. Guess what chicky, you're not. The judges threw Kate a bone and told her she didn't suck too much. As a person, she sucks really bad. So in the end, Aiden Turner was sent home. Whatever. Nobody cares again. On Jimmy Kimmel, he was such a non-star, Jimmy couldn't think of anything cutting to say so he just joked around with Edyta. When is Edyta going to have the popular person?

Top Chef Masters had only 1 well known chef this week: Marcus Samuelson. He's gorgeous but who knew he was arrogant and condescending? The chefs had to first make gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. Umm...toasting a baguette isn't a grilled cheese. The producers made Kelly eat so she judged the quickfire and that lady who talked about her kids all of the time, won it. Then the elimination challenge; the chefs had to cook soul food. I thought this was hilarious considering most of the chefs were foreign and the only American was so white she practically blended in with the walls. Marcus Samuelson may look black, but he's white. The Hispanic lady forgot her main dish back at the kitchen and wasted a lot of time retrieving it. Most of the other chefs tried to help and ended up burning her Yucca. You guys ever heard of a timer? The judges were confusingly nice but in the end, the Hispanic lady won for keeping it simple. She had to. She didn't have time to over do anything. Ironically, Samuelson was the only person who didn't try to help anybody and he came in second but goes on to the main winners round.

RW/RR challenge Fresh Meat isn't so fresh. The dumb young'uns are even more stupid this season. It seems everybody knows Wes and Kenny are the 2 kingpins in the game. Okay. I like that the rookies aren't being influenced by their veteran partners and it's ticking Paula off. Good. Miss horse face needs to know she's not all that. I notice there's only one big game per show. What happened to the prize challenges? Anyway, the teams had to each take turns holding up a heavy chest under water. That dumb blonde girl proved she's not as much a head of lettuce as we thought cuz she helped Landon win. Somehow, Wes got the rookies to own their vote and Kenny and his partner were sent to the elimination challenge. What people don't know is, Kenny's not as dumb as he looks either. So tatooed goth girl, Sarah, and her partner were also sent to do the elimination challenge and lost. Her partner is as dumb as he looks. Next time Sarah, don't pick a bulked up meathead.

On the crying fatties, AKA Biggest Loser, the fatties were lectured by Susie Orman. Aren't they getting enough abuse from having Bob and Jillian screaming at them every week? Last season's winner, Danny, made his appearance; per his contract. The best part of the show was seeing the players roll around and play in the mud and then drag Bob and Jillian into the melee. It was hilarious! Victoria got her deep psychological session with Jillian; ick and boring. We know what made these people fat. They use food to get over their problems. The problems aren't anything anyone else hasn't experienced so the whole things is pretty sickening. In the end, Ashley is proving she's out to boot the skinnier women and Drea, her friend, was sent home. Luckily, Drea had won a new car in the challenge earlier in the show.

Survivor is proving Russell and Parvati are the only people who have retained their brain cells. The Villains won the luxury challenge that was all about selling Outback Steakhouse. Saying the name 100 times in 10 minutes does not help. It's just plain freakin' annoying. Parvati got the clue to the hidden immunity idol in her napkin and wisely didn't share it with anyone but her BFF; the chick with the fake boobs and the overbite. What am I talking about? They both have huge overbites. The Heroes thought there was an all girl alliance in the Villains tribe and chose to poke their nose where it didn't belong. Now we have to acknowledge, these Heroes never heard of Russell before they met on this show because it was filmed before the finale of the last season and filmed while the last season aired. Nobody has a clue that Russell is great at this game but just looks dumb and innocent. Oh boy, so JT surreptitiously passes his immunity idol to Russell during the elimination challenge. It was a relay swimming and rope unwinding race with an easy puzzle at the end. The Heroes won of course. Russell didn't use the immunity idol, of course, and neither did Parvati. The Villains proved they're not stupid and booted Courtney who always gets blown about by the wind during the challenges. I'm glad to see the producers are finally showing how feisty Sandra is. She has that Puerta Rican fire and the accent to go with it. I love it and I hope she uses Russell to wipe her ass in the end.

Tyra Banks has proved she's running out of ideas. On America's Next Top Model, the girls... uhhh...oh who cares? The photo shoot consisted of the girls posing as New York people on the subway; as opposed to people in Times Square or in the garment district. Whatever. Alaysia saved herself by crying again. Angelea won best picture which is strange since she looks older than Tyra. Another boring girl went home and nobody noticed. Tyra wore a jumpsuit that looked like something I used to own in the 80's with those hammertime pants. Snore...

Project Runway did that episode with Tim Gunn visiting the designers at their homes. I personally, hate this part of each season. Just bring out the damn runway. Mila proved she is Cruella DeVille with her own dalmation running around her house. Everything in her world is black and white; even her clothes. Okay so after all the blather, the last 4 designers returned to New York. Mila and Jay had to show 3 of their looks each and somehow, Mila won the 3rd place at fashion week. What? The judges raved about Jays innovation and cool designs. Oh whatever. I just need to keep the dramamine handy cuz Mila's going to be on the very last show too. I wonder if all of the world is nauseated by her? I had to read Tim Gunn's blog to understand what the hell went on. There was way too much editing on this show. On Models of the Runway the 3 finalists and their models had dinner together and I loved that the guys told Mila they didn't like her. Oh hello Mila, nobody likes you except your mirror image bitch/model Brandise.

The Amazing Race wasn't shown to make way for those stupid country artists getting their awards. Whatever. They should rename the ACMAs the singing rednecks. If they gave out prizes for shucking corn, spitting chaw and doing hoe downs, maybe I'd be interested.

Celebrity Apprentice is getting really old with all the concept challenges. When are they going to unroll the rolodexes and sell stuff again? First, though, they had to show Curtis Stone giving his winnings to his charity. For once, there were no kids in sight. Yay! This time the teams had to make-over up and coming singing artists. Okay. Could they pick 2 more boring people? Goldberg took the PM role even though he doesn't know anything about music or making anyone over. Cindy Lauper was the boss of the women and took it literally. Sharon finally crawled out of her sickbed and we were all glad. Goldberg promptly delegated all the work to Brett Michaels. Man is that guy talkative. Maria Kanellis and Holly Robinson Peete were pissed off that Cindy didn't take them seriously. Come on ladies. You may be able to sing, but you obviously didn't become stars with it. There's more to being a music star than singing so just step back and say, "Yes Ma'am." to Cindy Lauper. My favorite bit of the show? When Trace Adkins told Sharon Osbourne he admired her for working with such a difficult man: Piers Morgan. I fell on the floor laughing at that one. The women won cuz Brett tried to make his country star look like a rocker. He was fixated on making him wear a necklace and it didn't work. Ohh...it was a make-better; not a make-over challenge. In the end, Goldberg was fired. Too bad cuz he didn't make any money for his charity.

I was glad to see the regular shows actually showed new episodes. The Big Bang Theory brought back Wil Wheaton and it was totally hilarious. Seeing Sheldon boil inside with rage just cracks me up too much. The Middle was funny with a real life problem; no money to pay all the bills. Three and Half Men needs to dump that Chelsea character. She ruins Charley's mojo and is homely to boot. The only thing is, if they get rid of her, then they have to let go her father and his boyfriend brilliantly played by Stacey Keach and John Amos. Those 2 guys should have a show of their own.

Okay, that's enough. I was disappointed that Law & Order was a re-run but Criminal Intent was really good. I hear F. Murray Abraham is going to make an appearance and I'm so totally in awe. I can't wait.

See ya next week fellow TV junkies.

I hate the hosts and some players too.

This week, I saw the end and the beginning. Hmmm...what do I mean? Read on!

Can I just say I'm not liking this season of Dancing with the wanna-be Stars? I can't stand half of the people. The wanna-be's are whiny and the pros are not as accommodating. What happened to the fun stuff like Adam Corolla giving his lecture or take on the competition? It's also very predictable. Nicole and Evan got the highest scores; yawn. Buzz Aldrin is so freakin' old, he's using Ashley as a walker and has to keep hold of her cuz he can't see through his rheumy eyes. Ashley has to keep the dance calm so Buzz's dentures don't fly out. It seems Kate the grate gets bitchier every week. Her poor kids. Meanwhile, Jon is getting all kinds of sympathy without doing anything. It seems Len is taking a little liquid love before the show because he's not his grouchy self. Help! Someone broke Len! I liked him way better when he told people they sucked. He balanced out Brunos love fests. I also miss the looks of, "What the hell are you talking about?" that he'd give Bruno. The only bright spot was when Carrie Ann pointed out Nicole's lift. It doesn't matter who does the lifting; no lifts! It's like watching the teacher's pet get called on the carpet for cheating hee hee hee. For some odd reason, I can't stand Scherzinger. She always has that look like, "I got this in the bag, but I'll play along." Brooke is the worst host ever. She's so boring, the dancers lose their shine as soon as they approach her aura. When they go backstage after their judging, we all take a bathroom break. Poor Tom Bergeron, has to work extra hard to cover the uncomfortable moments. All in all, Buzz was left in the cold and was sent back to his retirement home. Later on Jimmy Kimmel, he showed he was hard of hearing too cuz he didn't pick up on any humor Jimmy was throwing out. Poor Ashley. She got stuck with the head of lettuce again. I'm thinking, I can skip the rest of the season cuz even if the top people get voted out; who the hell cares? The dances are getting old and the dancers are getting moldy. The producers need to not only get stars but get one's that we actually like.

On the crying fatties, AKA Biggest Loser, the fatties had a speed challenge. How fast could they lose 2% of their body weight? They were given their own everpresent huge scale and when someone thought they'd lost their weight, they pushed the button and then weighed in. They only had that shot to make it or break it. Hey, isn't that the name of that other stupid gameshow that consists of college and bar games that you did when you were half drunk? Oh, pardon me. I digress. So half the week goes by and there's a ton of footage of Melissa saying, "I'm going to push the button." She never did. First that new girl pushed it and didn't make her 2%. Really? After only 1 day? Did she think she pooped that much out that day? You could see all the rest of the contestants thought she was a total moron. Then there was a swimming challenge. Good thing the fatties lost a lot of weight. Otherwise, the water displaced would've flooded the ranch. The fatties had to pick up 100 1 pound weights off the bottom of the pool and deposit them in a bin. I think one of the rules was, they could only take 2 at a time cuz I didn't understand why they didn't just load a bunch at a time in their shirt pouch but oh well. When they were done with their own weights, they could help someone else. Just like Survivor, the producers wanted something to show the pecking order on the ranch. Melissa turned out to be on the bottom. Even her fellow returnee didn't help her. Hee hee hee, karma sucks sometimes. Melissa was rewarded with a 1 pound disadvantage. 2 days later after a lot of secret extra hard working out, Sam pushed that button and went way past the 2% weight loss. This guy's not dumb. He didn't push the button until he was absolutely sure. One thing we noticed, Sam has a four pack; whoa! Then it was revealed why Melissa is so good at lying. She's a lawyer. That explains a lot and made America hate her more. It was no surprise that Melissa was sent home; like we couldn't see that coming. When you cry together every week; people tend to get pretty tight knit. Bye bye, you oily lawyer.

Finally! It was the end of Shear Genius. The contestants had to do runway hair and worked with their eliminated contestants. Brig proved she's not as dumb as she looks. Her hair was cool and didn't cover up the clothes. She won. Yay! I'm actually celebrating more, the fact that the show is over. Camilla Alves needs to stick to modeling where we don't have to hear her talk. God, she was sooooo boring.

Thank the gods Top Chef Masters is back. The star chefs have come out of the woodwork with an amazing roster. In the first episode we had Susan Fenniger and Govin with a few other chefs that are probably well known in their own world. The producers are very good at picking who's in each round. The cooking was amazing and I love when chefs acknowledge their mistakes before the judging. The chefs were paired up in this round and won $ for their charity for the quickfire win and the elimination win. That's really nice. Susan Fenniger proved to be a force to be reckoned with because she won both. I don't know how they do it, but the food seemed so good without me being able to smell or taste it. The judges were the same but nicer. That doesn't work. We can't figure out why the people don't get the great ratings. Raynor learned to be funny this year and Gail's still wearing her crazy hats. Meanwhile, that chinese girl/host keeps getting skinnier. Huh? When she turned sideways, I totally lost track of where she was. Maybe she only eats when the show is happening. No wonder everything tastes good to her.

Survivor has turned out to be the Russell show. Good thing cuz I was getting tired of the Probst show. The Heroes are on a roll. They're winning the challenges even though Colby is proving to be the non-athlete of the group. Age has not improved him at all. Jeri doesn't even moon over him anymore. I loved watching Rupert shove whole pieces of reward pizza in his mouth. There were also twice as many pizzas as players on the team. I wonder how much was consumed? Did they feed the leftovers to the natives? What? No schilling of a brand of pizza, beer, soda or snacks? Schaudenfreude kicked in when we heard the Villains whine about not having anything to eat. Coach proved he's not much of a coach and had his weak players sit out for the unimportant challenge so that they had to play the important one. Hee hee hee; we saw that defeat coming wayyyyyy ahead of time. The fun part of the immunity challenge was seeing the contestants totally covered in mud. This season, we rarely get to see the celebration at camp of the winners. So the rest of the episode we had to watch the stupidity of the Villains tribe. Sandra convinced people to vote out the strong player because they were probably going to merge. What? There's still 13 players in the game. For once, Russell didn't vote the majority and the women booted coach. Jeri was devastated hee hee hee. Then we learned, the jury is going to be huge cuz coach was announced as the first member. OMG, the finale is going to be 5 hours if they let all those windbags talk. Yeah, I'm including Probst in that group too. My fast forward button works overtime when Jeff opens his mouth.

Project Runway went to the circus and the designers were told to base their looks on that. I love the way the designers play dumb for Tim Gunn's sake. What? We couldn't figure out the challenge. Oh whatever. Oh Heidi, we're not as dumb as we look. Seth Aron was ecstatic. He could return to his pants and jacket design again. Once again, Jay made something that gave his model huge hips and booty. Is that what we want? Personally, I think every season should have a challenge where the designers have to make men's wear. There were a lot of bright colors; much to Mila's chagrine. Most of the designers made something crazy and the judges ate it up. Unfortunately, the southern belle guy, Anthony, chose to be conservative and was sent home. Nobody can figure out how Emilio wins every week ever since he got Lorena. Ummm... could it be she proved even a burlap sack looks good on her? So we found they're doing the Rami/Chris thing where the 2 bottom designers get to make collections (along with everyone else on the show) but one will get eliminated right before fashion week showing. It doesn't matter what kind of editing the producers try, Mila and her model Brandise come off as bitchy. Maybe they really are bitchy! Anthony's model, Monique, was left in the cold and sent home. Bye! I wish Heidi would give the models a good bitchy critique every week. Like, "You walk like a marionette." or, "You call that modeling a dress?" We could only hope but Heidi's too nice.

Top Model has proved to be very uninteresting. I'm only watching to see when the judges boot Angelea for looking old. Come on! She looks 30 when all the other girls look 12. The models had to pose with fake stuff in the knock-off district of New York. No, they weren't in Chinatown. Once again, they raved over Raina's photo but picked the crying black girl to win. I smell a rat. The mother model was sent home and...nobody gave a damn.

The Amazing Race went to Singapore. This time they not only had a fast forward (it's about time) but also a U-turn. The cowboys got on the first bus but somehow arrived in Singapore in the middle of the pack. What happened? Too much editing producers! Did they have an eating challenge? No. Aw come on. I love watching the racers try to choke down the food in the orient hee hee hee. For some odd reason, the racers chose the detour that they knew they weren't good at. They could either do a complicated drum routine or sell ice cream in hot weather. How did we know it was hot? The cowboys actually took their hats off. I loved the little kids teaching the drum routine. When the racers couldn't get it, the kids gave them that, "You're kinda dumb." look. Loved it! Miss Teen ditzy and her boyfriend got to the U-turn first, danced with glee and promptly gave it to what's her name and Brandy (AKA the lesbians). The gay brothers got the fast forward. Hmmm...I wonder who came in first and last. That was a real duh moment. All we care about is the cowboys and the cops are still in the race. Phil is really fun this season and therefore gets more airtime. That's always a good thing. He always seems to ask the same questions but oh well, it'll take a couple more seasons to get old. I think the racers should have a challenge to do at the mat. Phil has great facial expressions.

The Road Rules/Real World brats are back. It's Fresh Meat II and the same formula as the first. They've finally figured out how to not let someone over run the show. Where's Mark? Oh he's doing the after show. Where's the Miz? Oh he has a real job. Where's Katie and Coral. Oh, they finally got their dignity. Anyway, this season is pretty good with a lot of conniving by the underdogs. A strong team, (Darrel and his chosen girl) was eliminated in the 2 team end challenge that was full of mental puzzles. Maybe the teams will learn not to drink the night before. We'll see.

Finally, the Celebrity Apprentice. The celebs had yet another concept challenge and I'm beginning to feel sorry for them. I think Holly and Curtis were waiting for the big $, selling challenge but it never came and they had to step up to the plate. This time they had to do a commercial for deodorant, a 10 second viral web spot and then a presentation. First, though, Trump had them shoot a free throw basket with the first person to do it winning 10K for their team leader's charity. Trump sunk the first basket to show how easy it is. I figured there probably was a ton of takes to get that. The guys threw a lot of airballs and finally, Kanalis in her 6 inch spike heels won the $. How funny was that? This time 2 women were missing from the women's team because of illness or prior commitment. I can't believe Obama didn't show his dumb face on TV again. He's probably charging too much for Trump. They did take the opportunity to say Obama's name a lot and kiss his ass. I loved that Curtis Stone didn't know what team Clive Drexler played for. No worries mate. Neither did I. You mean the world doesn't revolve around basketball? Peete came up with the cheesiest commercial and the most annoying jingle for her commercial. Ebanks thought a sista wouldn't take a sista to the boardroom and took it easy while the rest of the team did the heavy lifting. Bret Michaels had a health crisis with his daughter over the phone and the producers made sure to get every crying moment on the air. Did we really have to see Brett give himself his insulin shot? Poor Brett, he's so sleep deprived, he cries at the drop of a hat and silly stuff falls out of his mouth at the most inopportune times. Holly Robinson Peete turned out to have an ego the size of New York City but still lost. Haw haw. Ebanks was fired and...nobody cared. Bye, I'm so sorry you make so little money modeling; boo hoo. Whatever. It was great to see the men win and just as I predicted, Johnson quit the show with a family crisis. It involved his kid and it wasn't about health. I'm thinking, he's probably been drug busted and needs bail money. That leaves Peete as the only black celeb; Oh no! What'll they do about diversity? Whatever!

Law & Order: Criminal Intent is back and I'm so glad. Wait. Goren, Eames and the Captain are all going. What? Hey! Thank the gods Goldblum is there to save the show and he does so with his great acting and playing low key but brilliant.

I want to say, the show The Middle has proved to be a winner. It's a multicam sitcom which is a rare thing these days. You know it's really good when the re-runs are great already. All the characters are great, but real. Yes, even Brick is like that weird kid that was in our grade school class.

I'm so glad to see the older characters coming back on Days of Our Lives. The producers finally got smart and brought back the really great actors. The scenes with Stephano and E.J. are totally electric and like watching great Shakespeare. I could watch John Aniston and Vivian Sorel all day cuz they get all the funny lines. Finally, the scenes with Sami and Nicole are like really good food; guilty pleasures. The younger actors are pretty forgettable so it's good they brought back the veterans. Even Adrienne and Anna are back. Yay! Now if only Shaunessy would make an appearance. I would totally be in love again.

Until next week TV addicts. See ya!

Yay! or Oh no! You decide.

This week, the shows are starting to wind down so there's more airtime for each contestant. Now we get to see when the claws really come out.

Let's start with RuPaul's Drag Race. OMG, this was the funniest challenge. The girls had to take an old guy and make him over into a woman who's kind of related to their own characters. Raven always seems to think everyone is gunning for him. Whatever. He thought Tatiana picked the best looking old guy for himself. Really? I couldn't tell. It turned out the old guys were queens in the closet and OMG, they were quirky. One had a whole keychain of trinkets that hung from his pierced bellybutton. One liked to wear loud bikinis. One hit on everyone with a penis. And the hilarity went on. I don't know what's going on, but Tyra Sanchez seems to win every week. I don't know why cuz he/she looks totally bored and has that creepy low voice. When the girls did their schtick with their old guy counterparts, I couldn't stop laughing. I was so sad that Pandora box lost her lip synch off, but her dresses were truly ugly every single week and when you have a judge like Santino on the panel, you might want pretty dresses on your body. During Untucked, the girls revealed a whole lot of stuff about their old guys. OMG, it got even funnier. I didn't think it was possible.

The crying fatties AKA The Biggest Loser contestants, had a big surprise this week. It wasn't a good one either. I hate when they bring back contestants who were total losers. They brought back practically everybody and there was Melissa with her smarmy face. Oh how much can I loathe the woman? I think a bunch of the other fatties agree. There was begging, crying, a vote by the real contestants and a challenge and in the end, that unknown black girl and Melissa rejoined the ranch. They were given immunity to give them a chance to unpack for at least one week. Because of this, the other contestants started pecking at each other. The blonde butt'er body girl turned on her friend and recruited her buds. The friend didn't make it on the weigh-in and so was voted out in the end. What is this; Jr. High? The girl who went home is a brunette butt'er body (cute face but her body ain't great) so I can't wait to see her at the finale.

Shear Genius is so boring, I can't stand it. This week, the stylists had to...Oh who really cares? It's the same damn thing every week. The elimination challenge was redundant. The stylists had to do 2 looks for a photo shoot that represented themselves and then pose for a photo of themselves. For some odd reason, Matthew and Janeane thought they were supposed to look like real estate agents in their photos. I thought their looks were totally boring too. Matthew always does 80's hair and if that was harijuku hair, I don't think Janeane has been to Japan. Brig finally was able to do her kooky hair and get away with it. Persistence pays off because she won. Yay! Matthew and Janeane were not pleased. Hee hee hee to them. Jon was sent home and didn't seem surprised. I think he was over the whole thing 3 weeks ago. Bye Jon, we'll miss you.

The Survivors had a turn-around this week. For once, the Heroes were able to win a luxury challenge that won them a lot of protein to eat. They must've practiced their basketball skills or James was their unlucky charm. Then they went on to beat the Villains at a puzzle challenge for immunity. Rob, what happened to you? I could see the problem. The puzzle pieces were all triangle shaped so trying to start with the edges and corners didn't work. The Heroes were smart and started with the script on the pieces. It didn't help the Villains that Sandra hogged the puzzle board. Of course, the Villains got all the airtime to show the conniving. Jerri must've dropped her brain somewhere on the island because she totally got taken in by Russell. I was yelling at the screen, "Run away!!!" Then Coach proved he doesn't follow directions well because Rob told him to vote Russell. When the vote came out, Rob was sent home and the other 2 mice (Courtney and Sandra) looked like wandering sheep looking for a shepherd. Russell may be a total snake, but he's terrific at the game. He's not winning any friends though. For some odd reason, I can't stand looking at Parvati's face every week. Her big donkey teeth scare me.

Project Runway was full of first time incidents. Maya chose to leave the competition for no other reason that, "I'm not ready." Okay, I don't get it, but whatever. Instead of not eliminating anybody this week, they brought back Anthony to fill in Maya's vacant spot. Thank the gods cuz Anthony just breathes life into the workroom. This time, the designers had to do a red carpet dress for Heidi. I'm not sure what red carpet Jay, Jonathan and Mila were thinking of; maybe in their back yard or the one in church. Jonathan freaked out when Heidi said she didn't care for his handmade tapestry and ended up doing over the dress for the 3rd time in the 11th hour. Luckily, Anthony was so exhausted, he just couldn't put all that embellishment on his dress and ta dah? It turned out to be a winner. It truly was an elegant black and white dress. Jessica Alba, the guest judge, wanted to wear it. That's a total shoe-in when the judge covets your dress. Heidi likes glittery stuff, so she picked Emilio's dress and he was a co-winner. Anthony is so cute when he wins cuz he looks like that shy kid in school who's so surprised to be picked first for a team. Seth Aaron proved he's only good when he does pants and jackets. Also, his original model, Valeria was wooed away by DKNY, so Cerri filled in. Black is really not her color at all. Jonathan's last minute dress didn't cut it for the judges and he was sent home. Good, now the room will be less depressing. Maybe my prayers will be answered and Mila and her drab dresses and personality will go home next week. On Models of the Runway, Brandise was crabby and critical. Cerri was just as crabby and critical and she was sent home because nobody wanted her last week. When you're a spring pallete, you look best in pastels and these designers hate to work with pastel colors. Too bad. Bye Cerri, we'll miss you again.

America's Top Model had a photo shoot that was totally creepy. They posed as blind vampires in a tub of blood with a dorky guy in the picture with them. Who would want to bite this guy anyway? Raina gets the raves every week. Alaisia is bitchy in the house but nice and meek in front of the judges. Girl, don't ever criticize a model's mothering skills. Janice Dickinson would kick your butt all over the earth. I'm surprised none of the girls call Alaisia out in front of Tyra but nobody's a narc this year. Anyway, that high school prom queen girl went home. She was beautiful and tall but awkward in her pictures and not in a good way.

The Amazing Race was totally amazing. Everybody started out fair on the same flight to Malaysia. You could tell it was a long flight because they started out in the dark and it was bright sunlight when they landed. The sexy cowboys had a speed bump to do. They finally pulled their fingers out and passed everybody at everything and made it to the pitstop first. Yay! They totally rock and manage to do it without making any enemies. The Dad/daughter team did the thing that's the kiss of death. They switched tasks during the detour. They were eliminated. For once, the editors didn't include any scenes with dumb stuff coming out of the mouths of Miss Teen ditzy and her boyfriend (Brent and Caite). The cops expressed their respect for Brent and Caite for showing respect. Cops always like that.

The Celebrity Apprentice was starting to get ridiculous. It had it's 3rd concept challenge in a row. This time the teams had to make a Harry Potter themed experience for avid fans. I'm glad they didn't just show kids being fans. Anyway, Blagojevich and Selita Ebanks were the team captains. Oh boy! The team captains happened to be somewhat remote from their teams so they had to use technology to communiicate. Blagojevich proved he's an old fart and has been asleep since the 70's. He doesn't know how to type, work a computer or use a cell phone. Oh boy! The men took the chance to riff about it. Once again, we had to sit through that annoying presenting of the check to the charity scene. Kids again? Yeesh. The experiences were interesting. I really like the women's with the people going to Olivander's to get their wands. They had great special effects that were actually pretty simple. Selita really should've taken advantage of Sharon Osbourne's real Brit accent but I think she was afraid she'd hack and cough through it again like she did the last time. She did something I really hate; a fake Brit accent. Sharon wasn't amused by it either. The men proved nobody knew much about Harry Potter. They used unfamiliar characters, places and wrong terms. Boooo! I knew that the women were going to win. You think Mother Nature is hard to fool? Try a Harry Potter fan. Thank the gods Blago got the firing. I'm so sick to death of him selling himself to people and his politician boot licking. Yay! Mr. Trump, there was no explanation needed except why was the guy on the show to begin with? When are they going to do a money raising thing again? Piers Morgan would be livid by now.

I watched the new show, Freaky Foods, hosted by Food Networks Adam Gertler. Ummm...people, you've proven, everything has been covered. There was not one thing that I hadn't seen on other shows about eating stuff. I like, Will Work for Food a whole lot better. Adam is fun to watch so it's really too bad he was given this clunker.

One show I'm totally fascinated by is Ultimate Cake Challenge. I can't believe those 6 foot cakes and then they have mini challenges that are fun too. The competitors seem to interact more with each other and they have a tasting challenge too. When they have to move the huge cakes on their trolleys, it's always suspenseful going up the ramp. One thing I notice, even the bad cakes are amazing. Wow!

Well, eebidee, eebidee, that's all folks. See ya next week.