Friday, February 12, 2010

Another post before the Olympics start

So the reality shows continued with Survivor starting a whole new season.

On the crying fatties, AKA The Biggest Loser; the contestants went to the Olympic training center in Colorado. How cheesy was that torch lighting? Not only have the Olympics never been in Colorado, but they're starting for real in Canada this week. They did footage of the fatties working out with the Olympic athletes. It was hilarious how much the real athletes underestimated the fatties. Oh hello, these people can actually lift 300 pounds. They've been doing it all their lives. They're not using helium balloons to get them off the toilet or couch. Don't worry people, they still managed to get in all the in show advertizing. God forbid they forget to schill the gum or ziploc bags. This season, Bob and Jillian do not have specific teams. I like this. It keeps them from influencing the votes. The problem is, in order to get more camera time, they now want to be pseudopsychologists. No wonder the contestants aren't losing as much weight this season; the trainers talk with them too much. They should be like the Marine Sergeants yelling, "Shut up and push!" This show really needs to get new workout coaches. Bob and Jillian are not only not stars, but they're so 5 years ago. Melissa proved she didn't throw her prior weighins by actually gaining a pound this week and getting immediately booted due to that darn red line. Really? A weight gain? Next time remember to poop before the weighin you dork.

On Shear Genius, first the beauticians had to recolor blondes. For some odd reason, most of them couldn't convince the bimbos to lose the straw color. Do these women realize their hair will grow out? I have to say, most of the contestants have really dull personalities (not to mention the host), so it's not too surprising these women didn't go with anything they suggested. The people who came out on top actually changed the hair color and the winner totally deserved it. He made a totally dry white blonde bimbo go auburn. Not only did it make her eyes really stand out, but it made her IQ seem much higher. The elimination challenge was interesting with the contestants tasting different gourmet dishes i.e. tiramisu, hamachi, seared scallops, etc and then told to make a hairstyle to reflect it. I'm beginning to really like Jonathan Antin. He gets straight to the point and doesn't mince words. That's cuz he's a real guy. Gay guys are too sensitive and beat around the bush like girly women. Anyway, the guy who won, did his model's hair to look like the scallop dish and it was totally great. I also liked that he didn't do anything permanent to the hair so the poor girl didn't have to look like scallop head tomorrow. I really thought the yellow haired girl would go due to her hair covered foam balls but nope, the girl who did the most boring hair did. I guess that's fair.

On Project Runway, the designers were told to make a look for an April Marie Claire cover with Heidi Klum as the model. Then they were given pointers, $150 and 1 day to make it. It's obvious some of the designers either didn't listen or disregarded the advice. Since when is beige an eye catching color? Since when are charcoal grey or very dark green spring colors? Mila doesn't know the meaning of "up top" because she put all her notes of interest below the waist. Jay thought the challenge was lingeree. Someone made the ugliest thing he called a romper. I really thought Mila should've gone because her dress was so truly ugly, dull and somehow familiar but not in a good way. She not only had the beige color but she had dull colored chevrons at the waist and hem, all pointing to the crotch. It didn't go unnoticed by the judges. Sometimes they keep the interesting characters no matter what crap they churn out, like last year's Christopher or season 2 Santino. Somebody tell the producers to butt out. We know what's going on. Okay, so Anna did make an outfit that looked like discount store kidwear but it wasn't totally ugly. Anthony won with a beautiful vibrant turquoise short dress with a kind of constructed ruffle embellishment from right shoulder to waist. It was very cool and would totally be eye catching for a magazine cover, yet classy too. Anna was so uninteresting herself, when she was auf-ed, nobody noticed.

Models of the Runway finally has a villain. Alexis has a problem with diarrhea of the mouth and pisses everybody off. Note to Alexis; you don't have to say everything you're thinking. Of course, when a person has as big an ego as she does, they tend to think everyone wants to know everything about them. Ummmm....no, not this time. The models had a photoshoot directed by a Marie Claire exec. It was interesting. I don't understand why Brandeis thinks she's unattractive. Don't models get makeup applied no matter if they're attractive or not? Also, there are plenty of models who are way more dogfaced than she is. Unfortunately, her insecurity showed in the photos. Alexis thought the shoot was for a men's magazine so she's not as smart as she thinks either. Of course, the most commercial model in the bunch won the photo shoot. Unfortunately, commercial isn't good for runway and she was not chosen by the designers. Ummm...I forget her name but she was a blonde. It's funny to note, the designers chose the brunettes first. They're starting to notice the judges like color and blondes don't wear bright colors well.

I finally tuned in to see the Housewives of Orange County when I saw the ad for it showing someone getting an eviction notice. My schaudenfreude kicked in and I was totally rolling on the floor LMAO when the one housewife was being told by her beleagured husband that they've been living beyond their means. Well duh people. Let me see. His construction business has tanked due to the economy. She's wearing huge diamond jewelry and designer clothes with a boob job, poofed up lips and obvious botox in the face. I was also laughing cuz during the heated argument, she couldn't frown, smile or look surprised. Then like all dumb bimbos, she takes her impoverished self on a shopping trip to San Francisco with her shallow friends. They showed one housewife giving sympathy to her daughter who has nodules on the thyroid. If all these women got cancer and died, I guarantee the viewership would skyrocket. One interesting scene was at Hubert Keller's restaurant. One ditz tried her friend's foie gras and started to gag. Poor Hubert. White trash is still white trash no matter how much you dress it up. It reminded me why I hate these stupid shows where we follow around dumbass people in their lives. Do people really like this shallow crap?

Survivor started it's Heroes vs. Villains season. Wow! How many times are they going to bring people back? I was glad to see Colby and Tom Westman back. Too bad Ethan was too sick to participate. Really Sugar? Her only achievement was through pure luck. The introduction took a good 20 minutes. Did we really need that much footage on the helicopters? We already know these people. So after the drop off, Jeff made some stupid observations and then they had a reward challenge. It's interesting to note; everybody was dressed for practicality. There were no idiots dressed in fancy dresses and heels or business suits. JT proved he's not only good at wrestling, but football too. Colby and Tom proved you don't improve with age. Sugar proved you don't have to have a top on to get across the finish line with a large sand bag. Anyway, the Heroes won the first reward. The got flint; Yay! To really have a laugh, the villains got a fire started anyway. Boston Rob must have practiced with a boyscout. The producers thought viewers are totally stupid and the Heroes found a rooster with 3 chickens running around in their camp area. Right...oh and they looked as if they were tied down too. Because of that, the whole throwing the net over them wasn't that impressive. Just to prove how smart they are, they killed the rooster. Say goodbye to those eggs you dummies. Rupert proved to be of no value while whining about his broken pinky toe. BFD dude; I can tell you right now, every person in the dance and athletic world has broken that toe. BTW, everytime you talk about how much it hurts, the smaller we think your nuts are. Sugar proved to be annoying to Colby and everybody else. Poor Sugar; she was trying to latch onto a hunk of man (Colby) and he just wasn't that into her. For the immunity challenge, the producers dusted off an oldy but a goody. First the survivors had to swim to boat pieces, put them together, climb in the boat, row for all they're worth to light a torch and get back to the beach, then hand off stuff to teammates who put a puzzle together, build a kind of puzzle ladder, climb the whole team to the top and light a bigger fire. Whew! The Heroes won the first part of the challenge so well, you almost forgot they had an opponent. Well, then they proved there is no excess of brains cuz they totally lost their lead and the villains won. There really was no excuse. The people who put the puzzle together didn't have to do the physical stuff first so it wasn't like they were too tired to think like the original time the challenge was done. Anyway, there was a lot of footage of people questioning the vote. The Heroes showed why they're the good guys and did a solidly wise vote and it was a landslide for Sugar. Even she wasn't surprised. The problem for Jeff was, the Heroes are so good, there was nothing really controversial to bring up at tribal council. He was really digging hard too. I thought he was going to resort to asking about toe jam or something. Man is it hard to have nitty gritty stuff when everybody is respectful, hardworking and clean. I can't wait for the villains to go to tribal council. They'll probably have an hour with that alone. Oh boy!

I'm glad to see Jay Leno leaving prime time. His show was ridiculous in prime time. He couldn't use guests from other shows in prime time on other networks, broadway people are still working, and for most bands, it's too early for them. Everybody had to be really good because of the early time period. It just didn't work. When he had a guest on, Jay would often remind them to promote something they were doing. When Jay had to prompt a person on what they were promoting, you knew a producer had called in a favor. Some people had no idea what the heck they were doing and were timid to be themselves. For some odd reason, Leno's brand of humor goes over better when you're really tired and half drunk before bed. In my opinion, Leno's getting to be in the geriatric age bracket. You know that crotchety old uncle who always reminds you how much better it was in his day? Jay seems to be more and more like that. Maybe it's time to retire Jay. Oh well. I'll be keeping an eye out for wherever Conan OBrien lands.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What's New?

Sorry I've been away for awhile, but during that time, I did watch TV.

The Worst Cooks in America finished it's run. It was quite a fun concept. 2 fine and relatively famous chefs take the worst cooks they can find and do the Eliza Doolittle on them so they cook a meal good enough to fool a panel of tasting judges. Now I'm not saying I'm a great cook but the stuff these people made for their first dish was horrible. Mind you, I was only seeing it. Who uses cottage cheese in Mac & Cheese? Anne Burrell and Beau Quinlan did a good job of not throwing up when they had to taste the first offerings. Anyway, the winner was a sincere young female who cooked her heart out. I was rooting for her because at the last episode, she was up against Jenny Cross who seemed like she was just wanting to be on TV and may have been a ringer. Isn't it a pity I can't remember the girl's name who won? Yep, she was that memorable.

Project Runway has started it's new season. They're back in New York and must've filmed the season during Heidi's last pregnancy. So far, the designers seem promising except Ping. Just because she's minority, doesn't mean you have to give her a free pass. Her clothes were just ugly and I'm not sure if she understood she was actually supposed to clothe a person. I can't remember names yet except Jesus and Anthony. Jesus went home already and Anthony is hitting hot and cold.

Models of the Runway seems to be more exciting this year. Mostly because the designers aren't sticking with the same models week after week. I've always wondered why they didn't change the model to gain different inspiration. You know, design for a blonde one week and then a brunette the next and so on. Brandeis is the oldest model but is still interesting and confident enough not to look pathetic during the model choosing. She also has a great walk. Now with HDTV, I can see all the blemishes beneath the makeup and it's not pretty. EEEK!

Launch My Line finally finished it's season. For some odd reason, I was tired of this show before it ended. Kathy Rose won by altering some of her past looks and getting a few more brain cells. If I had to hear those D Squared twins say, "Merle..." one more time, I thought I was going to scream. It was really annoying and they seemed to say it every week. What do I think of Kathy's line? I wouldn't buy it but...Ok.

Shear Genius has started it's new season. The hairstylists are even more quirky this season. I miss Jaclyn Smith but at least Kim Vo's lips have recovered from all that restilyn. Yikes! Camila Alves is hosting. The only thing interesting about her is her accent. Otherwise, she's like a lot of models; looks like she's half asleep and doesn't really give a damn. The first elimination challenge was to design hair for a topless runway show and not have the models show their breasts. I thought the hair extensions would be all over the place. Most people did okay but a couple of guys seemed to think making a fake hair necklace that wasn't part of the hairstyle would be a good idea. It wasn't. One Aussie guy was ousted.

RuPaul's Drag Race is starting it's new season. It's so much fun to see the transformations. The men had to make an outfit out of curtains and Wow! They did great. They did better than most of the Project Runway people and they had to fit the garment onto themselves. Shangela had to do a lip synchy dance off with her friend and lost. I do have to say, this season, there are a couple of guys to rival RuPaul; good looking both as a man or woman. After the episode, they have a behind the scenes show with the women and boy are they catty. It's not pleasant and after about 10 minutes, I'm sick of it.

I wanna say, thank the gods Leno's leaving prime time. Poor Law & Order, they had a hard time finding their time niche and that 9pm/10pm slot is much better for them. I hope OBrien goes to Fox where he can be more funny and out there. Let's face it, of the telecasting family, CBS is the Mom, ABC is the oldest child, NBC is the stern Dad and Fox is the bratty baby of the family. I love the irreverence of Fox.

So this Friday, the Winter Olympics are on. I'm a very faithful watcher so I won't be able to see much else. Catch ya after that. I'll have to read other blogs and websites to keep up on the reality shows. Oh well.