Monday, December 20, 2010

Stop The Madness! Oh, They Already Did.

Well, reality tv season is coming to an end but we always know more's on the horizone.

I love Skating With the Stars. These people are tough. They get run over, get dropped, go splat, fall flat and contract stomach flu and just keep going. I'm impressed. Last week, it was revealed that even though the disney guy didn't even compete, he still won the most call-in votes from the last week. He tried to do the practices but looked like death warmed over the whole time. He finally bowed out and we're left w/ 3: Johnny Mosely, Rebecca Buddig and that dumb New York housewife. I miss Vince Neal. For a rock star, he was really humble and low key and really did try his hardest. I'm also impressed that the pro ladies let the guys pick them up while on skates. I could really do w/out Tanith Belbin promoting her stuff all of the time. I still love Dick Button and will be sorry to see the show end so soon. As for Johnny Weir-d, he makes the show...colorful.

On The Fashion Show, the teams had to make gowns for the Housewives. Ugh. I really didn't need to see these bimbos on another show. I loved the designers gawking at the women, like kids at a zoo watching monkeys groom each other. There's a combination of interest and disgust. Anyway, the House of Emerald got to choose their housewives first. They chose the Orange County and the House of Nami got the one's from New Jersey. Oh boy! The looks were interesting. One housewife didn't like her high neckline and the designer finally cut it so low it was scandalous and no longer fashionable. The Jersey women bickered. Calvin gave everybody hell. After 10 minutes w/ the women, he was totally over them. Anyway, the judges proved the women had no taste because they hated the dresses the women loved and the one woman who let her designer do his thing; that designer won. The House of Nami won. Unfortunately, the House of Emerald chose really drab colors. Yes, champagne is a drab color. Finally, Golnessa was sent home. She hasn't put out a good dress yet and I doubt she ever will. Maybe she can't see with those fish eyes she has.

Survivor had it's final week and just went all out w/ the last 6 contestants. You can't have a season w/out bringing family members. The survivors had a luxury challenge that involved them retrieving bags of puzzle pieces then their family members had to put the puzzle together. Chase's mother won. Once again, Chase had promised to take someone on the prize and he didn't. Whatever. The prize was to eat lunch on a boat. Nobody really cared where it went. The family members didn't seem to eat. Actually, they didn't even sit at the lunch table but when the other people at the table look and smell like cave people. Can you blame them? Back at camp, Judd (aka Fabio), Jane and Dan commiserated w/ Judd actually crying. Jane didn't say much, but you could see the steam rising off of her head. Surprisingly, Judd wins the immunity challenge that involves putting a puzzle together. Afterward, it seems Chase is in the kowtowing mood and goes to Judd. He asks who he wants to vote out and Judd wants Jane out. Now I'm seeing that Judd's not as dumb as he looks. Chase at least tells Jane she's under the gun. Before heading off to tribal council, Jane pours water on the fire which makes me LOL for a full 5 minutes. At tribal, Jane lets everybody (verbally) have it right between the eyes. Good thing she wasn't packing heat. Unfortunately, words won't save you and she was booted out. On Sunday, they did the finale. The final 5 don't get luxury challenges anymore. Judd wins the immunity again and this time, Dan's voted out. We all saw that coming. Nobody knows how to strategize to split the votes. Jeez. Finally, down to the final four and the final immunity challenge is balancing wonky coins on the end of a sword. Can they get any more hokey than that? Judd wins once more. Finally, a redeeming character and I don't hate him as much as I used to. All the other 3 are scrambling. Sash (what a gay name) lies through his chiclet teeth. Chase does his dimbulb redneck act and Holly's peeing her pants. It becomes an all male showdown when Holly is voted out. Finally the Jury gets to speak and the only one worth listening to was Jane. She let'em all have it. I like old women w/ spunk and she's got a lot of it. All I'm really grateful for is, I don't have to listen to Probst. Then they vote and Probst says some dumb thing and makes a big show about carrying off the vote jar to L.A. Whatever! In the studio, at least they don't try to fool us into thinking it's the same time by having the people wear similar clothes. Everybody looks healthier. Probst reads the votes and Judd wins. Yay! All I'm glad of is, Sash didn't get any. Then the rest of the survivors come in and I don't know why. They wasted all kinds of time letting honker speak and Chase strum his dumb gee-tar and spent exactly 3 minutes asking a couple questions of just a couple of the other booted survivors? Really? If I were one of those people, I'd say, "You dragged me all the way here for this?" At least we don't have to see them again. Next season promises to have a new twist to the game. I'm intrigued.

Top Chef: Allstars had a new twist on the mis en place relay. 4 teams of 4 had to prep 3 items. The first team to finish the prep hit a button that started the 15 minute clock and then had to make a dish with the prepped ingredients. As the clock ticked, the other teams had to keep working to finish their prep and then make their dish in the remaining time. I loved the reminiscing of past relay races. Remember Casey taking all day to chop her onions? Wow! I was impressed that even though the team of Angelo, Fabio, Mike I and Spike won the relay, they still didn't win the best dish and the prize of 5K each. Richard Blaise's team won. I really do think he's the one to beat this season as long as he can hold it together to the end. For the elimination, the teams each ate at a cool restaurant and then each chef had to make a dish inspired by that restaurant that would be deemed good enough to be put on the menu. Marcel's team ate at Wylie Dufresne's restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win but he didn't. Stephen ate at that high end Italian restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win but he didn't. Angelo's team ate at an Asian fusion restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win, but he didn't. Hmmm...are we seeing a pattern here? In the end, Hot head Asian Dale won over Wylie Dufresne with his egg dumpling dish that looked like a real sunny side up egg. The judges also said the broth tasted like buttered toast. Wow! This was a double elimination week. I think the producers figured somebody would either quit, get sick or punch someone by now but that didn't happen so they had to get rid of 2 people this week. Unfortunately, it was gay Dale and even gayer Stephen. Bye guys! See you at the reunion.

The Challenge: Cutthroat showed the last gulag and unfortunately, Derek lost. The bright side? Paula lost too. Whoo hoo! Bye bye horseface girl. The final challenge was of course the teams having to complete different tasks. Someone poisoned the grey team because all of a sudden Abe and Sara were puking their guts out. Abe was so dehydrated and electrolyte depleted, he babbled nonsense and couldn't sit up. Both ended up being driven away in ambulances. I'm sure if the grey team had been ahead of everybody, the producers would've made a big deal of not having the whole team together. The red team stayed in the lead the whole time. It was great to see Tori and Brad finally win a challenge for once. I was also glad to see Jenn didn't win and actually came in last. Sigh, there is justice in the world. See you guys next season!

The Cake Boss's baking contest is fun to watch. For the mini challenge, the bakers had to make cupcakes. I wasn't surprised the 2 ladies won who made cupcakes last week. I learned there's more to carrot cake than just putting carrots in the cake. Hmmm... For the elimination, the bakers had to work in teams. There were 3 teams. The theme was the Monopoly board game. The cake had to be at least 3 feet high and they had 11 hours to make it. That's really nice since on the Food Network Challenge, there's only 2 people and 8 hours. On the Ultimate Cake Off, there are teams of 4 but the cakes have to be 5 feet high and they get 8 hours. So anyway, I loved that feisty italian girl cuz that fat brooklyn guy was getting on my nerves too and I didn't have to work w/ him. I hate people who want to make up by just hugging it out. I'm usually thinking, get away from me before I poke your eyes out. The one team made a great cake but hit a snag when it wouldn't fit through the door. How funny is that? I was impressed that they could totally tip their cake and have it stay together. It was a bit creepy w/ the head coming out of the money bag. Anyway, they won and that fat annoying Brooklyn guy was given the option to quit and he did. I think he was going to get the boot anyway and he knew it.

One thing I love about Sarah Palin's Alaska is, she does the things that Alaskans do. They fish, eat off the land, camp out, row boats and generally love nature. Unfortunately, Kate Gosselin and her brood showed up. The bratty bunch was supposed to go camping with the Palins. I have to say, Mrs. Palin is always positive and upbeat. I kind of like that because really, if you try, you can accomplish anything. I hate Kate Gosselin more than ever. She was the biggest sourpuss party pooper I've ever seen. I didn't know if she was on the rag or showing her true colors. I've never thought of her as much fun but man, she was a total Debbie downer. She bitched about everything and anything the whole time she was in Alaska. I'll be surprised if her kids end up as normal adults. The kids took things really well eating the moose sausages, gathering firewood and making smores. The only one not enjoying the outdoorsy activities was Kate and actually, nobody enjoys her anyway. Earlier in the show, they were learning to shoot guns to scare bears away. She said she's shoot a bear to protect her children. I think the kids would be better off shooting her and going off with the bear. The best thing Kate did? She made Sarah Palin seem even cooler than ever. Maybe that's the lesson. It doesn't matter how cool you are. You just have to be cooler than the guy next to you.

Well, that's it for this week. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Quanzah or whatever you're celebrating. Have a great one! See you next time!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Thank God It's Almost Xmas!

The shows are pretty much wrapping up their season because they know that they'll have to take a long break due to Xmas shows and New Year's shows and stuff. They're afraid viewers won't remember them.

The Fashion Show missed this week. I'm not sure why cuz there's no sports on Bravo unless you count the pulling of hair and flipping of tables done by those stupid housewives.

Survivor players were in shock after the girls quit the game. There was a huge boring scene w/ the people sitting around their campfire contemplating their next stupid move. God I hate these people. So now Sash knows he's the swing vote. I don't know why he's smiling so much. Most of the time the swing vote guy is voted out since nobody trusts him. For the luxury challenge, the players had to do a series of rehashed things. Long story short; Chase won. He had previously promised Sash he'd take him on the prize if he won. So who did he pick? Holly and Jane; Doh! Something tells me Sash made some stupid promise like, "I'll never write your name down." to Chase. The luxury prize was a shower, food and pampering. Not necessarily in that order. For some odd reason, I always hate to see people eat when they're all muddy and dirty. I guess I'd better never go to a 3rd world country. Back at camp, the guys are trying to make a game plan and doing a poor job of it. The immunity challenge consists of unwrapping a rope from a giant log while being tied to the rope at the same time. Then the top 3 finishers had to do a coins in piles puzzle. Y'know, like those connected bricks. When the 3 were Benry, Fabio and Sash, I expected it to take all day but w/ some clever editing, Sash won. Just once, I'd like the players to yell, "Shut the F___ up!" to Probst giving play by play on the sidelines. Who can think w/ that dumbass shouting every second? Okay, so back at camp, everybody is congregating in different small groups. It's obvious, the guys, except for Chase, are willing to vote for anybody. Confucious say, "Those who try to stay in the middle of the road eventually get run over." At tribal council, I totally LOL when Probst announced nayhonker and kelly as "the quitters". Way to shove it in their faces Probst. For once, I like you this season. There was a lot of stupid blah blah blah at tribal and Benry was booted. And another dumb survivor bites the dust.

Top Chef: All Stars had a Museum of Natural History theme. First the chefs had to make a paper bag midnight snack for kids who were going to do an overnighter at the museum. Joe Jonas appeared to lend some cuteness to the show. The chefs pretty much used up all the sugar for their snacks. I don't understand why nobody made party mix or popcorn balls or something crunchy like that. Not all kids like sugar. Anyway, it was determined Tiffany F. and Spike made the best snacks but the job wasn't done. Then they did a schoolyard pick to choose teams to make their snacks so the kids could decide which they liked between the 2. I still don't understand how you cook marshmallow w/ liquid nitrogen. Hmmmm... At the museum, the kids went berzerk w/ all the sugar but they were still able to decide that Tiffany's snack ruled the day. Then for the elimination challenge, Chef Colicchio told Tiff and Spike that the teams would cook dishes w/ ingredients that a brontosaurus or a tyrranosaurus would eat. In other words, either all vegetarian or all carnivorous. Tiffany got first choice and chose tyrannosaurus. I thought that was a bad decision because only meat, eggs and cheese is very limiting but it was to be breakfast so maybe not that bad. Whereas, w/ vegetarian, you can make hot cereals, cold cereals, pancakes, biscuits, nutbutters, compotes and salads. Anyway, obviously, Tiffany didn't know the meaning of carnivore nor what a tyrannosaurus ate. Geez. I thought for sure someone would fry up pigskin for a crunchy crust thing. But then again, the chefs only got 45 minutes of sleep so probably weren't thinking so well. It was interesting that Tiffany's team consisted of all women except one guy (Dale the nice one) and Spike's was all male except one woman (Carla). Jamie cut her finger a little bit and went to hospital to get 2 stitches. Whatever. In the end, Tiff's team had only 1 good dish out of 4 and Spike's had only 1 bad dish out of 4. I found it really interesting that Marcel, Richard and Angelo did one dish together. Wow! Talk about too many cooks, and the best ones too. In the end Spike's team won and Marcel, Angelo and Richard's fruit salad thing was deemed the best. In front of the judges, Jennifer came out fighting but no matter how much she loved her dish and thought it was seasoned perfectly, the judges begged to differ and she was booted. Personally, I thought Jamie should've been booted since she didn't hardly do anything. Jen didn't take it well. I guess when you're called an allstar, your ego gets wayyyyy bigger.

Hell's Kitchen had a double elimination. First the chefs had to do a fusion dish. They started by choosing 2 flags randomly. One pairing didn't sound so bad together: Greek and Italian. But the other's were hilarious: French and Indian, Thai and something white and Mexican and Chinese. Jillian pulled her finger out and won the taste test by fusion cuisine judges. She was treated to dinner at Spago w/ her family. Oh boy! What kind of putz faced idiots are these people who are satisfied w/ that? Like she can't have dinner w/ her family everyday of the week. Not only that, I hate eating w/ children at the table. May as well have monkeys flinging poop. So at dinner service, it was the time for the chefs to work the pass. They got their opportunity to yell at their fellow chefs and for Ramsey to try to pull a fast one on them. Russell was the only chef to notice the intentional mistake. I loved Chef Scott saying, "Really? Those aren't walnuts?" Oh puh-leeze. I LOL at that one. You're no actor Scott. Trevor did notice the fish wasn't right but not until Ramsay pointed it out first. So on to the ending. Trevor was booted and Jillian was sent home to eat dinner w/ her family for the rest of her life. But she did get to keep her coat. I hope Nona wins the show.

The Challenge: Cutthroat had it's last challenge. We saw that nobody really beat CT last week but that blonde gay guy from the red team lasted longer than Johnny bananas so bananas skidded home. Both girls beat Tina but Tori won in a shorter time so Teresa was sent home. So on to the challenge. Blue team of 3 approached Sara and Laurel to throw the challenge so they would win and not have to go to the gulag. The challenge turned out to be a king of the hill kind of game w/ the girls going first. Laurel was being a little obvious in trying to be lame. She's like an amazon towering over everybody and just standing back shifting her weight from side to side. Meanwhile, Tori was mobbed first and the beauty queen ended up off the hill and w/ a bloody nose. hee hee hee. Anyway, Laurel couldn't seem lame to her team because she knows she doesn't have the majority on her side. Sara seems to be the coattail rider this season. In the end, the grey girls won. Then the guys went up and poor Derek had no chance but boy he gave it a good try. In the end, Brad won. Then one person from the grey team and one from the red team had to go against each other. Abe tromped Brad so Grey won the day. There was a lot of drama from Paula when Dumbar voted her into the gulag. Your turn girl. Suck it up! That blonde gay guy was voted in again. On the blue team Derek was the shoe in since he's the only guy left and Emily was voted in. I guess Jen is the coattail rider on that team. Gee, and I thought lezbos were supposed to be tough. So we'll see who wins their gulag and which team will win the whole thing.

The Apprentice final 2 finished their tasks. I though Brandy's golf tournament was kind of disorganized and they had really dumb prizes that the winners didn't even take w/ them. Instead of a whole set of golf clubs valued at $500, why not have one club worth $500? Anyway, I wasn't too impressed w/ the celeb dinner being a buffet thing. Really? Rich people like to be served and not stand in line for food. Poor Kathy Griffin truly seemed like a D list celebrity. I wondered how long Liza Minelli's hip would hold out. So anyway, I have to say, this was the most anticlimactic boring ending I've ever seen in the history of the Apprentice. Usually, when the winner is announced, the lights come up and the wall comes down to show the boardroom is a podium set, all the contestants are there and friends and family w/ a large audience are there to congratulate the winner. Then the winner gets to choose their job and then drive off in a new car. Was there any of that? Nope, not a bit. Trump said, "Clint you're fired and Brandy you're hired." Then Clint went off on the elevator while Brandy skipped to the apartment to be greeted by the 6 people from the 2 teams. Wow! Boring! But then again, it's as much as Brandy deserved. Boring ending for a boring person. Hello world! Trump just added a blonde bimbo to his employee list.

The Cake Boss has a baking competition he's putting on. It's kind of fun. I swear, I've seen these people somewhere before. So the first task was to make a signature dessert. I learned baking takes a long time so in the time crunch, they didn't do too well. I also learned when a person says, "I could really use a glass of milk." while tasting a cake; it's not a good thing. So that mafioso guy won and that gay guy was in tears. For the elimination, the chefs had to make a cake for any kind of celebration. The chinese lady made one hot mess of a gold and red cake. Her fortune cookie looked like a placenta. Ew. This time the gay guy had enough time and won w/ his sweet 16 cake. The mafioso guy made the worst cake but had immunity. I love Buddy's sister. She's blunt and doesn't smile. The black lady who made the sheet cake was sent home. Yeah, if you're going to try to be impressive as a cake maker, don't do a sheet cake.

The Amazing Race had it's finale and it was terrific! The teams went back to the USA. I love when you're not really rooting for someone to win but for someone not to win. I didn't care who won, I just didn't want Jill and Thomas to win. They're snobby and think they're all that. He's an ass and she's as boring as Kansas. When the teams landed in Long Beach, California, Jill and Thomas happened to get a cabbie who didn't speak very good english. Let the hilarity ensue. First the teams had to do a bunjee jump off of a pier crane. Then they had to ID the pitstop greeters on a huge screen. I loved Bob Eubanks greeting everyone. He really does have a ton of charisma. Nat and Kat hit all the tasks first. Brook and Clair just about turned themselves inside out w/ excitement when they met Eubanks and when they said, "We're your biggest fans!" he replied, "And I'm your's." Yeah, right. I could tell he didn't know those girls from Eve. Way to give a pat answer Bob! Anyway, while Jill and Thomas tried to find a computer to do a google search, Nat and Kat hit the finish mat followed by Brook and Clair. Yay! It was the first all girl team to win! Then they showed a preview of next season. OMG, I saw the globetrotters and Jet and Cord. I also saw a lot of this season's ousted teams. Oh yay. Really? We have to endure another season w/ that deaf dude and his hot headed mother? Yeesh. Well, I guess I'll tune in.

So that's it. I'd like to know why nobody has come up w/ an original Christmas tv show. They're just re-running all the old classics. Oh well. Next week should be really short. C U then people!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Did That Just Happen?

WEll, we're back from Thanksgiving all fat and happy.

I Love Money had it's finale. Obviously, 6 Gauge was booted by Punisher last week. Boy, I'll bet he loved that. The final 4 money lovers had their last elimination challenge. It consisted of one person running to get an item and get it back into a basket while the others swung money bags at them. Brooklyn used the throwing technique and hit the others really good in the noggin. Hotwings was hit so hard she was knocked off of course completely. Punisher always thinks he's the best at everything and was surprised to find Brooklyn ran the gauntlet faster than he did. Hee hee hee. Go Brooklyn. Then they had their last dinner. Everybody pleaded their case to Brooklyn since Brooklyn was Paymaster and everybody else was up for elimination. Mindy was matter of fact. Hotwings literally told a sob story and openly wept while everybody else remained dry eyed. Punisher tried to make a case for himself but had no leg to stand on. He's wealthy and a good competitor. I recall last week, Punisher telling everyone he could beat them all at anything. Mmmm...probably not a good thing to say if you're not sure you're going to be Paymaster the next week. I'm sure it was in the back of Brooklyn's mind too. We did see Brooklyn in thoughtful moments but hey, it's still an elimination game. He ended up booting Punisher and needless to say, Punisher wasn't good w/ it. This time, they didn't bring back the other players to whittle the group to the final 2. Good thing because most left mean and angry. On to the final challenge to determine the winner of the money. The final 3 had to do tasks which ended in putting a puzzle together. The maple syrup and feathers obstacle was very disappointing because nobody got covered in feathers. Darn it. Mindy had the best luck and won. Yay! Cuz I really think she deserved it. Of the 3, she was the least duplicitous.

Skating with the Stars is great. In the first place, the people are not beginner skaters. The pros are recognizable. There are only 6 stars: Rebecca Buddig, Johnny Moseley, Sean Young, Bethanny Frankel, Vince Neil and some young black dancer/DJ. Granted one is not that well known and a couple we'd rather not know. It's totally hilarious. There are hard falls and harsh critiques. The judges are totally legit: Dick Button, Johnny Weird errr...I mean Weir and a choreographer. Button worries about technique and lines, Weir looks for stardom and the choreographer looks for grace and musicality. I'm surprised at the things that are required so soon. Footwork and lifts and it's only the 2nd episode. Vince Neil fell once and Young fell twice but they both got up quickly with smiles on their faces and finished their numbers. Poor Vince, he's old and rickety. The pros consist of 2 national champs and Canadians. I think the guys are Canadians because they're pairs skaters but not well known. Most guy pros in good shape are on that Stars On Ice tour. Anyway, even though Sean Young didn't do the worst, America voted (I think) and she was booted. She took it well.

The Fashion Show's theme was retro inspired. The designers met Iman in front of a big metal vagina. Ew. They all got a box that had items from a style era: 60's, 80's, 40's, etc. Also, the boxes all had a swatch of plaid. Iman comes back to tell the designers that not only do they have to do a look inspired by the year they're given but they have to use plaid and get only 1 day. I started to laugh cuz 1 minute prior, one designer said how much he hated plaid. For some odd reason, the producers focused on the only straight guy flirting with his female teammate. That was way boring and stupid. What are we, in 8th grade? Cesar decided that 4 looks in his group was an unbalanced line-up so he made 2 looks. One looked kind of normal and the other looked like an elephant had lost a lot of weight and had a lot of extra skin. I was impressed that some designers made their own plaid. Coooool. That long haired young toker guy couldn't pull off his design and made one fugly potato sack looking dress. This time, House of Emerald pulled out the win. I'd like to know, what was with all the grey and blah colors? Oh well. Anyway, the gay black guy won and the young long haired toker was booted. Bye! Personally, I think Mizrahi is being too kind to the designers because they're starting to not take him seriously. They should because if he says he kind of doesn't like it, Iman comes right out and says she hates it.

Survivor had a really surprising episode. Nahonker and purple Kelly decided they couldn't take anymore of the living in the elements, hunger and fatigue and decided to quit the game. Nobody was sorry to hear this from honker but they were, from Kelly. The producers never showed her complaining about the Survivor life so we had no clue. Not only that, we hardly knew her. She was like Maris on Frasier. The other survivors talked about her but we never saw her. I didn't even really know what she looked like until this episode. They didn't declare the intent to quit until just before the luxury challenge. So they took the producers by surprise. I don't know why cuz Honker had it in her head that morning. She talked it over with Chase and gave him her hidden immunity idol. Anyway, I know there was some editing done cuz Probst came right back w/ advice to think about the decision. They'd do the challenge and have a tribal council that night. The challenge consisted of splitting into 2 teams. Then the teams had to each drag a huge dummy (not Probst or a fellow player) through a obstacle course. Useless Dan was odd man out and chose a team to support. I'm thinking they did a playground choosing for teams thing, because each team consisted of 2 men and 2 women. Honker's team (Benry, Chase and Holly) won. After dragging the mannequin across the finish line, honker collapsed on top of it. I'm thinking that was the softest and dryest thing she's laid on for a long time. Probst then offered rice and a new tarp to anyone on the winning team who was willing to give up their prize. The rice and the tarp was for the whole survivor camp. Everyone looked to honker. She continued to lounge on the mannequin. I would've looked at Dan, since he didn't do anything to win the prize anyway. Finally, Holly volunteered. I groaned out loud. One reason I liked the show was the glee I felt watching these stupid people starve and freeze. Oh well. So then there was a huge push for the new Jack Black movie. In fact, they pushed it so much, I'm turned off to it and won't see it until it's free on TV. The luxury prize was to see the movie and eat cinema food. Back at camp, Holly is trying to get purple Kelly to stay by cheering, cajoling and bolstering which just makes Kelly do that turtle thing where you pull your head in so your neck's shorter. Tribal council is nice and rainy. I'm thinking, Hee hee hee. Anyway, honker and Kelly bow out. Probst shows his disdain and snuffs their torches. Bye losers! Never wanna see you later.

The Challenge: Cutthroat is down to about 5 people per team. The teams had to split into couples. The teams of 2 had to balance a ball and transport it on top of a big martini glass shaped frame. Unfortunately it was uphill and the frames were very tall. Nobody got it done except Abe and Laurel. The grey team won and Laurel verbally pushed Abe's face in for putting her in the last gulag. The grey team victory dinner was a little tense to say the least. I love Sarah. She states the obvious. "We're a team but face it, nobody really likes each other." So the blue and red teams had to do their choosing and it turned out to be Tori and that blonde gay guy for the red team and Dumbar and that one girl for the red team. Tori was resigned to go in but was mad that her young teammate had voted for her hubby Brad. Jeez, talk about a female wolf. So at the gulag, there was a new surprise. It was that wrestling kind of challenge to drag your opponent to your side to knock over your barrel. The real surprise was, they wouldn't be going against each other but against new people. OMG! It was Tina and CT. Two people who had previously been thrown off challenges for punching people. So did we get to see it? No, it's to be continued but I can guarantee. Tori and Dumbar are crapping their pants.

Top Chef has brought out it's Allstars. Each season is represented but not necessarily by the best people. There are a lot of runner-ups: Tiffany F., Richard, Marcel, Angelo, and Carla. There are some crappy ones: Mike Isabella, the dumb hat wearing guy who tried to sandbag his fellow chefs (Spike), the snooty sommelier (Steven), the dumb girl who shaved her head and kept being saved by fellow quitter chefs (Elia), that tattooed lesbian who loved scallops (Jamie)and that hot head Asian guy who made crostini into melba toast (Dale). Some we're happy to see though: Jen, Tiffany D., Antonia & Fabio. So anyway, they all get their minute to do a quick intro of themselves and say why they should've won their season. Whatever. For the quickfire, they worked in teams. Each season had to made a dish that represented the city where they had their competition. Some teams did one dish w/ all the chefs working together and other teams put individual stuff together. Chicago had the right idea for each chef to work on one thing but put it all together in one big dish. They won. For the elimination each chef had to redo the dish they were booted for in their season. I thought Steven had the biggest disadvantage. He was eliminated after restaurant wars and was front of the house. he didn't actually do any dishes so the dishes were somewhat unfamiliar. Also, his latest job is host. He called it hospitality something or other. Anyway, he's coming into the cooking competition quite rusty. The group was split into 2 and one group would cook while the other group would taste the dishes along w/ the judges. Just like in a past season, the chefs in the kitchen were able to see the tasting and critiquing via live television. Hee hee. I have to say, they weren't shy. I laughed out loud when Anthony Bourdain said Fabio's pasta dish looked like an inside out animal. It really did. We found Richard was DQ'd for not stopping his plating when the time was up. Rules are rules dude. If they let him get by with it, everybody will start doing it. In the end, Angelo was declared the winner (of 10K too) and Elia was sent home. For her inintentional raw fish, I think they should've just had the other chefs come out and laugh in her face. She was from that lame bunch from season 2. The cheftestants seem more outspoken and less cowed by the judges this season. It should be a good one. I love Bourdain too w/ his snarky but very true comments. Too funny!

Hell's Kitchen had it's final 4. They first had to make an original dish to present to Ramsay. He was impressive; correctly indentifying the ingredients in each dish. He proved it can be done. Yeah, my Grandma could do it too. That just means he's wayyyy older than the cheftestants. Then the 4 competitors had to taste his dish and try to recreate it. I like that Chef Scott was actually doing the cooking while Ramsay told him what to do. So blah blah blah, Jillian got nothing right and Nona proved she does have the best palate and won. Trev was kind of impressive. He did get most of the stuff right but didn't get it on the plate. Maybe cuz he made twice the stuff. When he couldn't make up his mind between one ingredient or another, he made both. The prize was a spa day. She chose Russell to go w/ her. Huh? He's a total douchebag. After hearing him flirt w/ the massage therapists, I wanted to wash down w/ lysol. Double ick. Meanwhile, Jillian and Trev plotted Russell and Nona's death while cleaning and prepping the kitchen. That night at dinner service, everybody seemed to have their own problems except for Trev. Maybe that's because Ramsay kept taking over his station and telling him to take a breather. They did get the dinner service done but it wouldn't be Hell's Kitchen w/out Ramsay cursing and yelling a lot. Afterward, the 4 young chefs had to figure out 2 people up for elimination. Poor Trev, he never gets any love. Nona seemed to suffer amnesia and said, "I did nothing wrong." Ummm... I seem to remember one oversalted risotto and one raw risotto coming out of her apps area. Jillian seemed to be the only one who didn't make a mistake. So Trev and Russell were put up. As it turned out, nobody was eliminated. What? We have to endure another show? They'd better do a double elimination next week cuz I'm sick of these people already. It'll probably be a girl winning this season since a guy won last season. We'll see.

America's Next Top Model had it's finale too. Ann and Chelsey first had to do a couture photo shoot, then they had to do their commercial with the beauty shots after that and then the final runway show. Wow! That's a lot! Somewhere in that the families were brought in for a lot of crying and hugging. Ann wasn't too bad in the commercial but they made it more advantageous for her by doing a voice-over thing. She looked like a frightened deer in headlights in both photoshoots and her Runway walk looked like an emaciated Frankenstein's monster with heavy shoes. They also brought back the girls who had made it to Italy but were eliminated, to walk in the Cavalli show. I'm thinking, they just didn't want to have to pay that much. I always wonder if Tyra regrets eliminating someone once she sees them walking in the final runway show. So then the 2 girls are in front of the judges. They raved about Chelsey but Ann won. Huh???? I always suspect that Tyra chooses the winner during the first face to face auditions because most of the time, the final choice makes no sense. The only reason Adrienne won over that blond chick was because the blonde chick didn't do the nude photo shoot. Tyra liked Naima's funky spunk. She liked Eva's strong black image. Nicole was considered more couture. She wanted a plus sized girl to win one. Nicole was the tallest of the short girls. She liked that skinny long forehead look (like her as a kid) and she wanted a really dark girl to win once. I would say, Ann was the worst of all the winners but she did look high fashion cuz she's a walking clothes hanger. Well, so ends another season. She'd better never get rid of the Jays because they're the only reason some people watch the show.

The Apprentice is having it's finale. They started out with an immediate elimination where everybody got to diss everybody else but they didn't. Both Brandy (god what a ditzy name) and Lisa said their praises of Clint. We found Brandy has an impressive collegiate record. Lisa was fired for not working well w/ people. Then Clint and Brandy were given their tasks. Then their teams were brought in. The teams were already designated: Masa, Anan and Lisa on one and Stuart, Stephanie and Poppy on another. Poor Clint, he got stuck w/ Masa and Anan but he was clever by saying, "That's the team I wanted." At least he doesn't have to deal w/ Stephanie's ego. Unfortunately, he does have to deal w/ Masa's ego. I'm surprised they let cheater Anan back on the show. So Clint then got first choice of tasks and he chose the celeb charity dinner while Brandy got the celeb golf tournament. We learned Lisa was a member of the Kenyan Olympic golf team. Um...there's no golf in the olympics. I'm not sure if someone played a cruel joke on her or if she's stupidly lying. She did show some good golf game though. Trump was impressed. We got to see who the special celebs were. Liza Minelli and Kathy Griffin? That's not too impressive. Poor Trump is losing his shine with celebs. That's what he gets for calling one fat and stupid. Nobody respects name-calling. The real hilarity ensued at the end of the show. Trump asked that Lisa play in the tournament therefore basically taking her away from the task. Then we found Clint misspelled Minelli's name on everything from the posters to the napkins. Oh boy! I laughed so much I missed the teaser for the final show. It oughtta be good!

The New Iron Chef is doing a good job in his new role. I'm thinking the other iron chefs gave him some pointers because he did the iron chef thing of using the secret ingredient 3 different ways in the same dish.

The Amazing Race went to South Korea. The goth couple were so behind, they didn't catch the same flight as the other 3 teams and never were able to catch up. The teams had to drive north and then go whitewater rafting. The roadblock consisted of hunting for a matching headband on a bunch of soldiers going through exercises. For the Detour, they had to either speed skate or deliver ginseng roots. They all chose to speed skate. I love the way Brook somehow cajoles Clair into doing things she really can't do very well at all. It proves a person can do anything they really want to. We also realize Clair is the steady headed one of the couple. Unfortunately, Brook didn't give Clair a chance to think cuz they were supposed to walk or take the subway to the detour. Even though Brook and Clair hit the finish mat first, they got a 30 minute penalty for taking a cab. Jill and Thomas got first instead. They did pretty good since they seemed to get the cabbies and people who didn't speak any english. It wasn't a surprise at all that the goth couple came in last and were eliminated. Bye. I'm sick of hearing him promise not to be mean but still is. What an ass and she's dumber for taking it.

Well, that's all for this week. See you next time.