New Twists, Old Competitors.

WEll, well, well the new seasons are beginning.

I haven't watched it, but The Bachelor brought back a bachelor who didn't pick someone the last time. Really? We get to hate the guy all over again? What a bunch of loser women too? Who is really that desperate. You know they're not genuine at all and just want their 15 minutes on the boob tube. Ick and double ick.

On Rupaul's Drag Race, the women had to first do a scandalous papparazzi shot. How funny that they either did a beaver shot, a wardrobe malfunction shot or a fighting shot. Raja needs to remember she's supposed to be feminine. He/She did her bloody makeup too graphically and you could see the "Ew." on Rupaul's face. Stacy Lane Matthews and one of the big hispanic accent girls won. They then each chose girls for their teams for the next challenge. The girls had to do a newscast complete w/ anchors, gossip headliner, interviewer and weathergirl. Debbie Matenopolis was there to give them pointers and critiques. Stacy's group wasn't too bad. Actually, she was the most boring on her team. The other team was too boring all the way around. India Ferra did the weather and the graphics were more fun than she was. Once again, Raja was really boring too. The runway was really interesting. The guest judge was Chloe Sevigney. For once, those fatties weren't the ugliest girl in the room. The outfits were really interesting. One was a newspaper top that didn't go all the way around w/ a newpaper bikini brief. Impressive. No real girl could've pulled that off. Anyway, Shangela was declared the winner. India Ferra couldn't out lip synch Stacy Lane and was sent home. Good riddance. What a freakin' whining downer. Now I know why his parents beat him. They were trying to see if he was alive or not.

Face Off went straight to the big challenge. The makeup artists were to make their own horror monster w/ a movie title and tagline to go w/ it. This was really interesting. Just by watching, you learn a lot w/out someone having to verbally explain everything. There was a big disfigurement theme because these are makeup artists. You can't just dress your model in black and say he's insane like Norman Bates. I loved the footage of Gage and Marcel trying to get their silicon prosthetics and masks out of the stuck molds. Meghan is still flirting madly w/ Conor and he's a bit oblivious to it. Jeez dude, she's about blowing you over w/ the wind from her fluttering eyelashes. Jo's ear guages are so big, she looks like one of those African women who can pull their earlobes over their baby's head but that's their goal. What's up w/ her? Anyway, I thought Tate's monster was really impressive. He always has a knack for using the whole body. Meghan's was dumb. she made a geeky human w/ a big misshapen mouth. Anthony's Mr. Hyde take off wasn't as bad as he thought. Tom's monster was a human teddy bear hybrid. In the end, he won. The winner always gets to put his or her 2 cents in about who they think should go. The judges have only listened to the winner once. If I were the winner, I'd say, "You don't listen to us anyway so I'm just gonna shut up." Cuz it puts the idea in the minds of the judges that the winning person is just bitter or jealous when it's really not the case. The judges should really listen because these competitors know who's just sliding by or getting too much help. In the end, everyone was surprised cuz Marcel was sent home. He's been doing some really brilliant work so nobody understood this decision at all.

Survivor is back! There are new twists. There is a redemption island that the booted player goes to. Each week (except the first of course) there will be a duel between the previously ousted player and the recent ousted player and the winner will be able to stay but only on the island dueling w/ each ousted player until he/she is defeated themself. Then that player duels the next new ousted player and so on and so on. I'm not sure when the duel survivor will return to the game but I'm sure it'll be at a good time. Probably the merge. The other twist is, Boston Rob and Ratfaced Russell are back. It was so funny to see the reactions. The people were kind of happy to see Boston Rob but the other group faked the joy at Russell joining them. Then they all went to their campsites w/ a fully loaded building kit. Poor Rob. He's got almost all girls on his tribe w/ one wackadoo guy who says he's a former federal agent. I'm thinking he only had one day on the job before they booted him out. On Russell's tribe, people were sizing each other up. I have a feeling Russell ditched the cameras when looking for the hidden immunity idol cuz we got a lot of shots of him coming out of the jungle while everyone was working. It seems he's laying low this season. He did try and join up w/ one dumb girl already. If Russell asks you to ally w/ him, I wouldn't take it as a compliment. He likes his girls dumb, if you remember. On Rob's tribe, he's got a female version of Russell. The dame is dikey w/ an attitude. Y'know. Wants to prove she's got big balls too. Whatever. She found the immunity idol and then made an alliance w/ Francesca and Phillip. It's odd that her 2 buddies were the only black people and one alienated himself by being really annoying. Meanwhile, Rob just acted respectable and everybody else gave him respect. So for the challenge, they had to push big huge rock things on a track, then chop ropes to loose the gate and then put a big 3-D puzzle together. Rob's all girl tribe proved they didn't have enough muscle and fell wayyyyy behind. Even though Rob's a whiz at puzzles, they just couldn't make up the time and ratfaced Russell's tribe won. For the rest of the show, that tribe fell off the face of the earth. So female Russell is trying to make a plan but Phillip is dumber than a box of rocks. I say, if you see someone is that dumb, why stay in an alliance w/ him? Rob smells a rat and makes a good plan to split the vote for the outsiders. This time around, he's got the numbers on his side. As long as his tribe doesn't lose all the immunity challenges, he should do better this season. Tribal council was funnier than hell. Everything was going along well until Francesca said, "No one's going to vote for Rob." Phillip doesn't know what purposeful deception is and spilled the beans about his alliance, the plan to vote out Rob and use the idol and the fact that female Russell had the immunity idol. Even Probst's jaw was on the ground. Everybody was absolutely gobsmacked and I was LOL. Rob showed his power in the group and made her show him the idol and then tried to get the idol by guaranteeing she wouldn't be voted out this time. She didn't go for it. I was surprised she didn't use her idol but in the end, it was Phil's vote that sent Francesca to Redemption island. Oh boy! What a great season it's turning out to be! I really hope Rob goes all the way this time. He really deserves it and I think other people think the same.

On Top Chef, the muppets made a guest appearance and it was hilarious. Of course when you have Cookie Monster on the show, it's pretty much a given that the chefs are going to make cookies. I was surprised to see how many had never made a cookie before. Antonia made a huge chocolate cookie that Elmo said looked like a cowchip and it did. Dale made a no-bake cookie w/ potato chips and he was declared the winner. I loved when Cookie Monster was so hungry he was eating the tablecloth. Too funny! I also liked that the muppets called Blais out for making something fancy that wasn't a cookie. Then the chefs had to cook a meal in Target. For a minute, I was really thinking Uh-oh... Until they said it's a new super kind of Target that has a grocery store in it. But they still had to set up their tables and appliances, shop and cook all in 3 hours. Really? I think I would've said, to hell w/ the fancy set up and just served on the boxes but they did have to have a table to work on and put appliances on. I was surprised nobody utilized the electric grills. You know they have all kinds of George Foreman grills there. Anyway, there were a lot of soups. The guys didn't really do the aesthetics and poor Carla took wayyy too long to shop. This is a cooking show. To heck w/ the tablecloths girl! In the end the chefs who didn't make just a soup were on the top. Blais made a pork tenderloin and I was impressed. Antonia made an egg dish ala minute by the looks of it and I was impressed. Dale did dorm food and spiced up tomato soup and made grilled cheese on the iron like I did in my college days. He was declared the winner. Tiffany, Carla and Angelo landed on the bottom. Mike had tasted Angelo's soup and told him it needed salt. Hmmm... I smell a rat. This time, oversalting did Angelo in. I guess this time, the salting did make the dish inedible unlike Dale's salty sandwich the week before. Bye Angelo, see you at the reunion.

The Amazing Race is back w/ old competitors who've never won. Some are couples who made it all the way to the end but lost by minutes. There are a couple of couples I can't stand. The deaf guy and his mother who always play him up as the victim. We don't hate you because you're deaf. We hate you because you're an asshole. You just happen to be deaf too. Those really bitchy cheerleaders are back too and wouldn't you know it. They're friends w/ the deaf guy and him bitchy mother. I hope they all pass out more than once. Some of my faves are back. The Dad/daughter Kentuckians, The Harlem Globetrotters, the Cowboys, the writer and his old dad, the Chinese Dad/daughter. The problem is, time has passed and the old people are older and the younger people aren't so young anymore. It really shows. The Cowboys don't seem as gung ho anymore. I think the producers threw a lot of money at them to do the show when they really didn't want to. Previously, Cord was doing the race as a last adventure w/ his friend before he got married. Now he's married and I think the cowboys are over the whole thing. The Harlem Globetrotters are back w/ a vengeance to prove their loss was just a fluke. Some of the other couples seem like they really need the money so they have that desperation. They Kentucky Dad/daughter team are doing back to back races. Wow! Anyway, they started in Indio, California among the windmills. First they had a hunt and search task. The clue was Queensland and Native Territories Air Service. Man, I realized these people weren't as bright as I thought. They didn't even put it together that it makes the acronym Qantas. Duh! And, the prize was an airline reservation. Finally everyone got off but the last team earned a u-turn in the next detour. I love the way they make the drive to the airport seem short. I'm not sure where they flew out of but the nearest big airport from Indio is at least 2 hours away. The first 8 teams earned seats on the first plane going out and was supposed to land an hour and a half earlier than the 2nd plane. 3 teams were on the 2nd plane. The funniest thing is, the first plane had a medical emergency on board and had to make a stop in Honolulu. How funny is that? As it was, they landed 1/2 hour behind the 2nd plane. The Kentuckians turned on the burners and led the pack the rest of the show. For the roadblock, one person had to find a compass w/ a puzzle key in a tank of sharks and stingrays. They weren't as petrified as I thought they should've been. Then they had to decipher a flag code w/ the key, find the commodore and tell him the pass phrase. The deaf guy and mother and the cheerleaders proved they're kind of dumb. I was glad to see other people weren't helping them. The chinese Dad/daughter team only told them but had them show them where the commodore was first. That was smart. The Cowboys showed they're really quite dumb. Not only did they not finish the puzzle to the end but got turned back more than once for not giving the correct pass phrase. Instead of sitting there saying, "I'm not good at puzzles." Shut up and keep working at it. That's when I knew they weren't really into it. I also got the idea when they weren't at all upset by missing the train and the ferry. I'm thinking, they're purposely trying to go home first. Well, not in this show cuz the finish mat wasn't the finish mat. Phil just gave them another clue. To be continued indeed.

The Worst Cooks in America had it's finale. Georg and Joshie had to cook a 3 course meal for judges. At least Ann and Robert made the menus. They were nice enough not to come up w/ things that had to be cleaned either. First they had a practice run which was nice so the cooks could see how the whole process had to be organized for the timed event and they could tweak the dishes. I realized Georg is really dumb. How many sauces has Robert made and had them make? So Robert says, "And we finish the sauce w/..." and Georg couldn't come up w/ butter. OMG! Have you been in this cooking competition for 8 weeks or what? Then later in the day, he asked the same question and she still couldn't come up w/ the answer. How retarded is she? Joshie pulled his finger out and found his groove. In the end, he won and deservedly so. The funniest part was, Ann and Robert had a side bet and Robert had to dye his hair platinum blonde when Georg lost. That was great except, everyone agrees, he looks better brunette.

Well, that's if for this week. See you all next time. Stay tuned!

Before the Big Guys Show Up

The new seasons of Survivor, Amazing Race, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway are just around the bend. But before they show up, there are still a few good shows running.

Rupaul's Drag Race is turning out to be an interesting season. If Raja can pull out a little more natural personality, maybe she can win it. The quick challenge had the girls making outfits out of duct tape. It was hilarious. For some odd reason the fatties all decided to be in the same group and I think they took up enough duct tape to pave the LA freeway. Not only did they make outfits, but they had to start over after the first attempt. Oh boy! Anyway, the 2 hispanic guy/girls won with their cute workout wear. Hey, that segwayed perfectly into the next challenge. For the next challenge, the 2 girls each picked girls to make up their teams. Then they had to do a funny fitness segment. There's nothing funnier than broken english and outrageous spanish accents to make a fitness segment funny except maybe that shake weight. OMG, they really did go there. LOL! Susan Powter was the guest judge who helped give critiques to the girls during their filming of their segments. Some of the girls were really boring. For the runway, the girls had to emphasize their best asset. India Ferra must have been told her's was her skin cuz she showed a lot of it. The problem is, she's not exactly the skinniest girl in the bunch and it grossed out the judges. The girl w/ the hilarious spanish accented fitness segment and the glittery dress outshone everyone and won. She was very gracious and I think everyone likes her too cuz there were no glares from the other girls. MiMi Imfurst and India Ferra landed in the bottom. Somehow the lip synch-off turned into a WWE wrestling thing w/ Mimi giving India fireman's lift while India screamed her head off. I was RFLMAO and laughing so much, I was crying. In the end, Mimi was sent home. Yay! One fattie down and he wasn't cute as a girl or a guy.

On the crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser, the fatties all worked out together. For the temptation challenge, the fatties had 3 minutes alone surrounded by chocolates. Whoever ate the most got to switch 2 people from each team or leave the teams as they were. Y'know, I'm never surprised that Arthur chooses to eat every time. I think he doesn't give a hoot about the prize and really just wants to justify pigging out. It was so fun to watch him stuff down 35 chocolates. I love it when someone shows when they know how to do it. Oh come on. You really think they got fat by nibbling slowly? So the winner and didn't have to be revealed. The group was shocked when the green team and the pink team were switched but then the groups were one team black and the other red. I thought Q had won. Then Arthur did the dumbest thing ever. He told the group that he won and made the decision thinking the girl team would lose the least and keep him from being in the bottom of the group. Whatever. Maybe he forgot they base it on percentage of body weight. So the teams worked out together again. Then they had a kind of luxury challenge. They had to do a relay race where they had to do different tasks in each leg. The black team (ranchers) won big time cuz the guys on the red team (ridgers) couldn't figure out which dishes had the most calories. I didn't know a bowl of chili had less calories than a couple of smores. The prize was videos from home. Let the crying commence! Ick! Then came the weigh-in. The red team had impressive numbers but the black team won by a big margin. I can't believe how well the women are doing this season. The red team voted out Q and I wasn't a bit surprised. He was lazy, whiny, unpleasant and lost the least. Bye! My hero, Rulon Gardner is still on the show. Yay!

Top Chef had a fondue quickfire. The twist was, the chefs tasted all the dishes and then judged each other. Dale won w/ his fo-ndue. Hmmm...boiling broth. Dipping things in it? Sounds like soup to me. The fun part of the show was, the chefs appeared on The Jimmy Fallon show and were challenged to do one of his favorite dishes for his birthday. They did quick phone pic shots of dishes as they flashed on a screen and whatever they captured, that was their dish. It was quite cool to see that one dish was tongue. Carla did a happy dance when she got chicken pot pie. The eating group consisted of Jimmy Fallon's family and show friends and of course the judges. Anthony Bourdain was MIA this week and it just wasn't as much fun but oh well. Carla won w/ her homey chicken pot pie. Dale made a cheesesteak sandwich that turned out to be made w/ salty components that added up to a whole lot of salt. One thing I've noticed. When you cook for sensitive palates, you don't want to over do the salt. Tiffany made a chicken and dumpling dish that wasn't chicken and dumplings. Although, it did have chicken in it. Americans hate it when foreigners tell them what a hamburger should be. Instead of asking all the Americans around him how to make a good burger, he moaned, "Burgers aren't my thing. I don't even know how to make one." Then proceeded to make a meatball sandwich w/ cheese on the side. Not good. Antonia had no experience eating much less cooking tongue but she asked for advice and came out in the top 3. So in the end, Fabio was sent home. Sigh, I'll miss his accent and cute Italian self.

A new show I've forgotten to blog about is Face Off. It's a competition for media make-up artists. I'm not talking cosmetics either. These guys and gals are geniuses w/ prosthetics, paint and make-up. They've had to make animal human hybrids, do a person in full body makeup to fit into a background and this week they had to work in pairs to make an alien for the brand new discovered M class planet. They showed a short video on what the planet was like. This show is educational too. Coooooool!!! The 2 names I do know on the show are Colin and Frank. One chick is so into Colin, she speaks his name about every 3 minutes. Everybody moans and complains about Frank and his laziness. Personally, I think Frank was over the competition after week 1. In the end, Colin's team won w/ the female alien in a long robe. That was pretty smart since the robe covered most of the body and all they had to concentrate on was the head and hands. They were able to do intricate work and it looked great. I always wonder why people want to do a lot of stuff in a short amount of time. Frank forgot this wasn't the full body paint challenge and he and his unfortunate partner were declared the worst. Frank was sent home and let the people know he was very happy about it. It's so unfair that he didn't bow out earlier and let someone else have a chance. What a dumbass.

Worst Cooks in America was down to 4. It's the show before the finale. First, they taught the cooks how to flambe. It was amazing how much confidence the cooks gained by learning to cook w/ big flames. Then the family members were brought in. Kelsey and her husband were so cute together. Yep, Georg's wife looks like a guy. Anyway, the cooks were told they were to make a dish the family member wanted. Kelsey made venison. Georg made fish. Carlos made a Thai dish and Joshie made a sweet chicken dish. It was impressive that all the cooks did really well. I LOL when Kelsey's husband said he was scared to eat her food. No wonder. She gave him food poisoning twice and they've only been married a year. I'd be terrified. In the end, Kelsey and Carlos weren't as good as the Georg and Joshie. So for the finale, it's Joshie or Georg to win it all. I can't wait cuz they've really come far and this year, these people are for real.

Well, that's about all for this week. Stay tuned.

We're in a slow season!

I realized there aren't very many reality shows on right now but I'll tell ya about the one's that are on.

The new Season of Rupaul's Drag Race is on. I'm not sure if I actually saw the latest episode but I'll tell ya about the one I did see that wasn't on the Logo channel. Unfortunately, my new satellite company requires a high price for this channel. Way to stick it to a specific group huh? Anyway, it's quite a large group of contestants and I don't just mean numbers. There are at least 4 fat guys. I swear Tyra's makeup artist from America's Next Top Model is one of the guy/girls. The girls had to first work in 2 groups and put on a campy movie sci fi movie trailer. Man, there was over acting, bad acting and no acting going on. Of course the judges liked the over acting. The people helping the girls get the whole thing done were supposed to be famous but I didn't know them from Adam. Who cares anyway? For the final judging the girls had to do a futuristic look. Oh boy! All I have to say is, fat guys don't make pretty girls. Men usually carry their over weight in their abdomens and that's not pretty. BTW, Shangela is back. I'm wondering why he gets a redo but why ask why? Um...can't remember the guest judge and can't remember who won or was sent home. I think the one sent home was the guy w/ the glued wig falling off. I have no idea how this is judged cuz I would start bumping off the fatties one by one first. But oh well. It's making me not miss the Logo channel after all.

The crying fatties aka, The Biggest Loser continued but the unknowns on the ridge came back to roost on the ranch. We'll call them the ridgers and the main players the ranchers. So we saw a lot of working out and people trying to show how fit they became. The black guy from the ridgers proved himself a slacker and the rest of the group pounced all over that and lost total respect for him. Rulon Gould proved the equipment on the ranch is cheap cuz he broke 2 treadmills. I was wanting to see the logo on those machines but they didn't show it. They probably were told not to by the company. The ridge team did the challenge. The teams had to put weights on each other's platforms until they hit 500 pounds and then they were out of the competition. The last team standing received immunity. Ok! Well, this time, there was no pre-challenge decision and it was every team for themselves. Rulon proved why he's an Olympic Champ. He had a great strategy using the lighter weights first while the piling frenzy went on and saving the heavier weights for the head to head at the end. It worked and his team won. So on to the weigh-in. The ranchers did pretty well except the lone girl and twin team. They twin decided he was missing his brother and home and the ranch wasn't for him. The team threw the weigh in by each gaining 6 pounds. Good lord! That twin has gained more weight than some people have lost in 2 weeks. I love the way it pisses off Jillian and Bob. Hee hee hee. Anyway, they owned up to it and Don was sent home right there by a unanimous show of hands. The ridgers lined up to weigh and the black couple fell below the yellow line. I have to say, the ridgers put up some incredible numbers and the ranchers now wear a look of fear. So the ridgers wanted to vote out the black guy but he cried and gave promises and excuses. His wife said she wanted to go home so in the end, they gave in and sent her home. Bye! Those 2 really are losers and not in a good way. Blech!

Top Chef Allstars are at that point where we kind of hate to see any of them go. I like everybody. The quickfire was about food presentation. Isaac Mizrahi challenged the chefs to make art w/ the food. They did and the food wasn't tasted at all. It was quite interesting. Angelo made something that looked like barf in a bag. Oooh...pretty. Richard Blais was declared the winner for making a black and white really cool looking dish. Then the group was split into 3 groups of 3 and 3 mafioso looking and sounding guys walked in. For the elimination challenge, the chefs were to cook an Italian dinner. The first group would do the anitpasto, the 2nd group the pasta course and the 3rd group the meat course. It wasn't a team challenge cuz each chef had to do their own dish and be judged as such. Luckily, each group ended up w/ an Italian. Antonia was in the first group and she made steamed mussels. I've had this as an appetizer in Italian restaurants and the thing that makes it not French is the large amount of garlic in the dish and the bread that goes w/ it. Carla made minestrone soup and Tiffany made a polenta and sausage terrine thing. The judging was in Rao's restaurant w/ the guest judges the mafioso guys of the place, the regular judges and that Italian actress w/ the raspy voice who's been on the show before. The people all repeated over and over that Italian food is all about the ingredients and doing them simply so they shine. Okay! For the second course, Mike Isabella tried to make homemade rigatoni which turned out to have the texture of a shingle but his sauce was good. Dale Talde gave the excuse that he's not Italian but hello, you do use noodles in your oriental dishes don't you? His dish was declared terrible too. Tre made risotto that offended the judges. Uh oh. For the meat course, Fabio made Chicken cacciatori and polenta that made the judges say, "This reminds me of home." I thought, oh he's got this in the bag. Richard made fish and Angelo made beef I believe. What? No veal? To everybody's surprise, Antonia won. Poor Fabio, he can't catch a break. He vented a bit and said Antonia's dish was French but it must've been really really good. Tre tried to argue w/ the Italian judges about the correct consistency of risotto. Really? I was waiting for Colicchio to say, "Do you know who you're talking to?" In the end, Tre couldn't admit his sins and was booted. He took it well. I'll miss his laugh.

The Food Network has a show called Challenge where it's a one day contest between 4 people to make cakes, chocolate show pieces, sugar show pieces and even fruit and vegetable carvings. The contestants are pretty much different each week and each challenge theme is different. I really like this show except for one thing. Kerry Vincent is a judge and she's the worst sour puss I've ever seen. She's one of those English pretentious people who always look like they smell dooky. I really wish they'd give her a month off. Yeesh.

The Worst Cooks in America are down to 6 people. For the skills challenge the cooks were shown how to make sausage and then challenged to make their own. Then they had to make a dish w/ it. I love that Robert totally gags and spits out bad tasting food. The black guy way oversalted his sausage and you could tell cuz there seemed to be more salt than meat in the bowl. Then for the elimination challenge, the blue group had to filet sea bass. The red group had to clean calamari. Ew! Why? You can always buy already cleaned calamari at the store or fish market. I didn't blame the cooks for gagging w/ this one. Then they had to make side dishes that consisted of the food they hated along w/ their fish or calamari. It was obvious that the black guy didn't listen very well. Kelsey did her burning food thing. I think it's a reaction to giving her husband food poisoning twice. She wants to make sure things aren't undercooked. The red team had to stuff their calamari for their dish. Everyone was a frenetic hot mess. In the end, Carlos and Kelsey were declared the winners and the black guy and Kat were sent home. One thing I learned was Georg is lesbian. That was interesting. One thing I knew already? Kat is dumb and the black guy dumber so dumb and dumber were sent home. Bye!

Well, that's all for now. See you all next time and stay tuned.