That's on my TiVo?

What the TV Junkie Thinks of New Shows

2011-09-30T02:41:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. It's been a long time. A new TV season is upon us. TV land isn't what it used to be. No longer are the 3 big networks in control. TV stars aren't as sure footed and movies stars are coming off their high horses. Soap operas no longer rule daytime and reality has split into 2 different kinds of genres: competition and voyeurysm. I've seen some of the new shows and here's my opinion.

Survivor is in Samoa. They're calling it South Pacific. Ok. It's the same format as last season. This time it's Coach Wade and athletic Doofus Ozzie. Coach started out making himself a sympathetic character and then a kind of guru. He's done a good job of befriending everyone and making an alliance of 5 w/ a couple others in his back pocket. The problem is, they're not absolutely tight. Russell Hantz's nephew is on the show and is torn between trying to be a christian example and a playa. He comes off as a total weenie and weird. Russell is more likeable. On the other tribe, Ozzie has also made an alliance of 5 but they're less trustworthy and kind of stupid. Ironically, the people he has in the periphery are the most intelligent. I have a feeling Ozzie will never see his demise coming. He found the hidden immunity idol and already failed to keep his mouth shut. God, these people are stupid. I'm liking that the challenge wins aren't one sided. Each tribe wins every other week. That's cool. I wish they'd show the winning tribe enjoying their prize but oh well. It was interesting that the biggest screwballs were sent to redemption island first. Yay! Funny enough, there's a guy on Ozzie's tribe who is just like Woody Allen. Oh boy. Wouldn't you love to live w/ him.

Top Chef: Just Desserts is midway done. They have a famous pastry chef who seems to have a huge arrogant head. It's getting some deflation as the weeks go on. As we all know, these competition reality shows are really marathons and it's all about who can gut it out the best.

Project Runway is having it's most boring season ever. They're trying to make it dramatic and instead have veered away from what we like best; seeing the designers design and sew. They've had a lot of team challenges and neither the audience nor the designers like it. The designs have been weak with a lot of contestants who lack sewing skills. Nina and Micheal seem to realize they do have power over the decisions due to their triumph last season declaring icky ugly Gretch the winner over Mondo. Tim Gunn is insightful as ever but the designers don't seem to get inspiration.

A new show I'm really liking is Person of Interest. A guy w/ mega electronic "big brother" and a cool intelligent military trained guy work together to stop crimes. It's kind of out there and you have to give it some license but it's really cool and moves along quickly. It's the old Mission Impossible crossed w/ Dirty Harry. Jim Caviezel is mesmerizing, compelling and sexy. Michael Emerson is mysterious and interesting but not creepy. The show has one scene it likes to do and we like to watch. Caviezel's in a room w/ guys w/ guns, the scene shifts to an outside of the room shot w/ a bunch of gunfire going on inside. Then there's 3 seconds of silence and then the door opens and Caviezel cooly walks out of the building w/ dead and wounded bodies behind him. It's cool and a good way to infer shooting but we don't have to see it. It's a real old Hollywood thing but it works. Caviezel is also sticking to his christian convictions and never utters a curse word, shows any naughty bits or does any sex scenes. Thank the gods! Only dumb chicks want to know the private life of the super hero.

Ringer is a new show that has a soap opera feel but actually works. An Al Anon woman runs away from her witness protection cop to her rich twin sister. While on a motor boat in the middle of he ocean, her sister seems to disappear into the drink and the poor former drunk takes over the rich sister's life. They show, it's not that easy and being rich isn't that easy either. It's very interesting cuz we never really know if the sister is dead and somebody is always trying to kill the lady but we don't know if the people are really trying to kill her or her sister. Sarah Michelle Geller does a really good job of playing both parts w/out being hammy. I can't say the same for the men who play opposite her.

The Secret Circle is a new show this season. Young witches in high school. It's really dumb and hokey. The acting is awful, the writing is bad and the whole premise is made for one episode only. Unlike Charmed, they don't fight demons to save humanity but seem to fight each other and the powers aren't impressive.

2 Broke Girls is a new comedy on CBS. One streetwise girl, one suddenly impoverished socialite; both poor waitresses trying to catch a break. We've kind of seen this kind of dynamic w/ Laverne & Shirley, Alice and even Roseanne. I watched the whole show and realized, I didn't laugh the whole show. The jokes are old, the premise is older and the girls aren't appealing. In this economy we really don't like to be reminded of how hard life is right now. The closest to funny was when the rich girl fell in horse crap in her expensive dress. Uh huh, it was crap alright.

It's not new but Two and a Half Men has a new star. I have to say, the premise is kind of asking for a lot of leeway. I don't like Sheen, but I miss him. The problem w/ the show is, the 2 main characters are both pathetic weenies and it's not fun. It's kind of like having a dessert that's just all sugar and needs some sour to balance it. Even Berta isn't her cold callous self. Having the mother on to lend her dry wit would help but they don't utilize her. Jake is now merely a prop and I'm sorry, Kutcher just can't seem to play an adult. I have a feeling this will be the last season for this show.

How to Be a Gentleman needs a way better title but it's too late. The pilot was a little disjointed but okay. They need to do away w/ the nice guy's family and just show the nice milqetoast trying to live w/ the manly slob. We could use another Odd Couple kind of comedy again. We haven't seen one since Perfect Strangers. As long as they don't make the show preachy, it should be good.

Up All Night is about parents w/ a newborn. The mother is the money earner and the father is a househusband. I rarely like single camera sitcoms and this one has the cameraman w/ the worst case of Parkinsons I've ever seen. Either that or he drinks too much and gets the shakes. The story was good and reminiscent of Seinfeld. Maya Rudolph does not have a face for visual medium and her character is annoying instead of funny. Christina Applegate and Amy Poehler's husband are really funny together w/ their scenes quick and witty w/ energy. Luckily, they made the story about the parents and not the baby.

America's Next Top Model is very weird this season. It's an allstar season but the problem is, the women aren't all stars and some are way too old to be models. Most are established in the business and the others are wannabe's that didn't make it the first time. I'm rooting for Laura and Bre.

Well, that's about all. The Amazing Race is just starting and the only interesting part is Ethan and Jenna are competing.

See ya next time people. Stay tuned.

The Great Ones Are On!

2011-03-28T21:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, well, I think I skipped a week. Unfortunately, my memory isn't what it was so I'll try to give the updates.

On RuPaul's Drag Race, the girls had to do a message to the troops w/ a patriotic theme. Oh boy! I hope the troops like drag queens cuz the messages were quite risque. Some of the outfits were barely there too. In the day and age of don't ask don't tell, some troops may not have to tell at all. Anyway, the Puerta Rican did a really good job and looked the best and won. The judges decided not to eliminate anybody. Then the next week, the girls had to... well I don't know cuz my stupid TiVo stuck. All I know is, Yara Sophia was eliminated.

On Face Off, the artists had to transform themselves so that their family member couldn't recognize them up close. Everybody did really good except Meagan. She didn't do any prosthetics and her makeup wasn't great either. She should take lessons from drag queens. Anyway, the artists had to help out in a wig shop w/ the family member right there. Meagan tried to cheat and hide her face. Whatever. You could tell the mother was thinking, Hm...that girl looks familiar. Needless to say, Meagan got the boot. I was really frustrated. I missed the last episode of Face Off and the SyFy Channel has not shown any more of the series; not even the last episode. All I know is, Connor won. I'm kind of disappointed since Tate did an awesome job all season. I did hear that the artists got to choose 2 former contestants to help w/ the last project. Connor did not choose Meagan. Hmmm...guess he agreed w/ the judges. She wasn't that great.

On the crying fatties AKA Biggest Loser, the show is really playing w/ mixing people up. First they switch one player, then they make one big team then they split into 4 little teams. Whatever! Everybody was in one big team. The weigh-in came down to Kaylee and the mother who already hit her goal weight. Of course, the mother fell on the sword and asked to be voted out and was sent home. The next week, teams were split into 4 small teams w/ one former player brought back. Rulon is on Jillian's team w/ Hannah (the bitchy sister) and they chose Jay to come back. I was glad of that. Rulon's not stupid. Hannah had suggested Arthur but Art sucked badly in all of the team challenges. So Kaylee found she was satisfied and wanted to go home. At the weigh-in, she didn't quite go far enough and only didn't gain weight. She lost 0. Then the rest of her team weighed in and they didn't land in the bottom. OMG, it's the first time I've seen someone cry for the wrong reason. Then someone said, "But we found this was the only way we could leave." Alison quickly pointed out the ranch wasn't a prison. If you wanna go; go. Because of strategy, Moses talked to Kaylee and she decided to stay. Then the vote happened. Justin fell on the sword this time, asked to go home and was sent home. God, these are the wussiest contestants ever.

On America's Next Top Model, the girls got makeovers and then had to pose in pairs except one group of 3. The one white chick got the worst hair weave I've ever seen and everyone agreed including her. Man, Alexandra is so bitchy and bossy. The crew don't even like her. Anyway, Dominique, she of the freckles was sent home. Last week, the girls had to walk a runway lined w/ fire and then light firepads on their palms on fire and walk. OMG! Are they trying to test the nerve of these girls or what? But they don't crack. You go girls! Then the girls had to work in pairs again. This time they did a fake coffee commercial that had a lot of sexual innuendo. Alexandra was bossy again and the director didn't like it at all. The setting was in the 40's Mad Men era. Kasia's the only girl w/ real curves so of course, she looked the best and she did do the best acting. She won and that ugly boy/girl was sent home w/ her nose ring.

Survivor is humming along. Robs team pulled their finger out and they're winning the challenges. 2 weeks ago, they voted out Christa. We had to watch her and christian blonde guy bond over her bible. Ick. Then at the duel, she got beat and gave her bible to blonde guy. It was interesting to see the reaction of the playing survivors cuz the one girl was his former close teammate. Then there was a whole lot of Philip being unintentionally funny, bawling out the lazy girls for not helping etc. Where the heck was Rob? Then they had that launch the balls and catch in JaiAlai nets. The long haired guy on Rob's team was the hero of the day and Rob's team won again. This time they did show them on their picnic that they won but it was because there was scheming w/ the hidden II clue. Rob's gotta get an Emmy award for this cuz he has the idol. Anyway, at the other camp, the producers really make a big deal of people being pissed at Sarita for whining and such. Last week when they showed her, I thought she was a new player. I never noticed her before. But, no. Stephanie was booted and goodbye to her. Won't miss your weasely face at all and so ends the mini tribe of Russell. Hee hee hee.

Top Chef didn't have it's finale. Nope, they're down to 3 people but still eliminating. The week before, the chefs had to catch their own conch. It was hilarious to see Blaise trying not to mess up his hair. Too bad that conch was all on the ocean floor ha ha ha. Anyway, they had to cook and serve outside and Tiffany's soup got to the table cold. She was sent home. Last week, the chefs had to cook last meals for Masaharu Morimoto, Michelle Bernstein and Wolfgang Puck. But first, they had to do a quickfire w/ limitations. Antonia got canned food and tied to a partner. Blaise had to make a hotdog w/ one hand. Isabella had to cook w/ only one pot and w/ no utensils. Isabella won the quickfire. I noticed he wasn't afraid to use his hands for everything. In the elimination, Isabella assigned which last supper the chefs had to cook. I have a feeling he thinks Blaise is getting tired and will choke again. He gave Antonia Morimoto which is the hardest. Blaise got Puck and he took Bernstein. So they all did a good job but Richard won and then they made Antonia and Isabella do one last bite. OMG, really? After much running around, Mike won and is in the finale w/ Richard.

On the Amazing Race, the teams were still in China. I forget what they had to do but one task had to do w/ remembering people in costumes. I loved the globetrotters giving the hats names: mop, zebra, big feather. I was LOL. The redheaded bitchy chicks ran into all sorts of trouble literally. They accidentally took off a guy's side mirror and he took up time calling the insurance company and such. Hee hee hee. I was hoping he'd really take up their time and he did cuz the more they asked him to hurry up, the slower he got. Kent and Vyxin pulled their finger out and got going. In the end, the cowboys hit the finish mat first and the redheads were sent home. Yay! Last week, the teams started in China w/ a nice cup of tea at a tea shop. Then they went to India. The town hall or whatever wasn't open so the first teams to arrive started to relax and when the last teams arrived, Flight Time told everyone to run run run and sign up. The mad dash was the funniest thing to watch ever. Then the roadblock was a tea tasting. Oh boy! I'll bet some of the teams wished they'd paid attention better at the tea in China cuz that was the tea they had to pick out. Ron did really good and found his before the others even got started. The smart ones smelled the tea and were able to find it faster. Obviously, Zev, Flight Time and that deaf guy aren't too smart. They were the last ones left. Deaf guy was literally crying in his mother's arms. Jen and Kesha didn't realize the next clue was under the bottle cap and drove all over looking for the Snapple plant. Somehow Ron and Christina fell behind after a good lead and the cowboys just seemed to be moseying along. In the end, Gary and Mallory hit the finish mat first and the deaf guy and his bitchy mom were sent home. Bye! I hope you get dysentery as a souvenir.

Finally, on the Celebrity Apprentice, 2 weeks ago, the teams had to do a camping outdoors experience for an RV company. The women decorated inside but failed to do the outside experience. The men showed they were men and didn't decorate inside so well but the outside experience was complete w/ astroturf, trees, bushes, camping gear and John Rich strumming the guitar. W/ Gary Busey as the project manager, it was interesting to see how the task was carried out. The men won and Nikki decided, since she was the losing project manager. It was obvious she didn't do such a good job and she graciously took the firing. Last week, the teams had to do a commercial for a videophone. Boy, those little suckers are getting better and better. The women went sappy and the guys went funny. The guys won again and they should've. The commercial was hilarious w/ Busey as the father seeing his son's fiancee who turned out to be Jose Conseco. OMG, the whole room busted out laughing. On the women's team, the fur started to fly. You gotta give Dionne Warwick a break. She's over 70 years old and she's tired. She first volunteered to go home but then said she'd stay when Trump called her a quitter. But she was fired anyway and I don't think she was sorry to go.

That's about it for this week. I did watch a lot more tv than that but I don't want this blog too long. I hate long boring blogs, don't you? See ya next time! Stay tuned.

I Have Returned

2011-03-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I'm wayyyy behind but I took a little hiatus and now I'm back. The hard part is knowing where to start.

RuPaul's Drag Race has been pretty fun. One week the girls had to do their celebrity impressions and some were really funny. Of course one girl/guy did Cher and for some reason, it was really flat. It's not all about the look people. Cher has a cool attitude too. I was right. Raja is that makeup artist guy from America's Next Top Model. He was Tyra and looked great and was funny, but still couldn't pull off that total wackadoo that Tyra is. Well, I mean, who can? One guy was a famous singer who I didn't know was funny but he made her funny. In the end, that boring guy/girl was kicked off. She/he was so boring, I never could remember her name. The next week, the girls had to dress as cakes. First they decorated their cakes; kind of. To decide who got to assign the cakes they had that reading thing where everybody insults everybody in a funny way. Some were funny and some were just insulting. Anyway, everybody looked cute until Stacey Lane showed up in some red velvet pantsuit to represent her cake. OMG, no fat woman would ever show up in public in a velvet pantsuit. I don't think the judges considered the lip synch at all and she was sent home. I'm gonna have nightmares about that outfit. Yikes! Then the next week, the girls had to do stand-up comedy. Everybody is hating on Shangela and she's very surprised as well as the tv audience. Shangela wins the mini challenge again and gets to make the line-up as to who goes first and last blah blah blah. Rita Rudner was there to give some coaching. My favorite bit was that Spanish midget bit. OMG, when she came running on stage that was it. I was LOL. Shangela did some black ho bit w/ attitude. Hasn't that already been done? She impressed the judges and won. This time, the last fattie was really boring and not funny at all. I have to say, her makeup looked really good this week but she was still sent home. What's worse than a fat woman? A fat guy in drag. Ick.

Face Off has been really interesting. A couple weeks ago, the make-up effects artists had to make up wedding couples. The twist was, they had to make the guy the girl and the girl the guy. They worked in pairs and had the option to work together on both or each work on one. The teams who worked together on both did better. One team made their couple into old Chinese people who looked like dried prunes. It was pretty bad and not at all flattering to old Chinese people. One team made their guy look like he was made of plastic so he looked like a walking ventriloquist puppet. Everybody groused that Meagan didn't seem to do anything and Colin did all of the work. That's not true. Meagan flirted and acted like a dumb ditz the whole time. But in the end, he did the underwork and Meagan did the make-up and they won. Jo, she of little talent, did a lot of fingerpointing and criticizing of Meagan's work. The judges never listen to the winner's opinion and Jo was sent home. Last week, the artists had to make people into zombies. My favorite artist is Tate. He uses and works on the whole body. Sometimes it looks like he bites off more than he can chew, but he still seems to pull it off and his looks always look scarily real. Everybody had good ideas for their zombies but after sketching and stuff, they were told the looks had to hold up through a full dance number. Oh boy! No cheating here. Meagan painted blood on her zombie's face. I guess that was a freshly killed zombie since it doesn't take blood very long to lose it's bright redness. Tate's was scary and funny at the same time w/ a disjointed jaw and the zombie holding his own entrails. In the end, Tate won. Once again, the judges totally ignored his opinion of who should go and Tom was sent home. Too bad cuz Tom was quite cool. His downfall was not being able to get over glitches fast enough and always running out of time. By Tom. I'll look for your name in credits.

The Crying Fatties aka Biggest Loser is having a weird season. They should call this the self sabotage season. I have never seen more people gain weight on purpose to go home. Anyway, it was pretty much the same. They had a little challenge, the ridgers won but the ranchers seem to win the weigh-in. Nobody gained on purpose and unfortunately, Jay and Jen are the outsiders on the ridgers team so Jay fell on the sword and was sent home. The next week, the ridgers won the challenge again, which was volleying huge balls down a football field w/out letting them touch the ground. The ranchers couldn't get it together, Rulon led the ridgers and they won again. This time, the weigh-in was different. There was a red line and a yellow line. Whoever lost the least weight, no matter from what team, and ended up at the bottom was sent home period. Then, the team that lost the weigh-in had to do the boot vote. The ranchers showed they had absolutely no faith in their team, especially Arthur and all of the parents gained weight. It was only a contest of who gained the most. Needless to say, the ridgers won cuz when half your team gains weight, it's kind of a given that you're going to lose the weight loss contest. The old wrinkly mother w/ the orphan haircut landed on the bottom and was sent home. Then the yellow team voted out Arthur's Dad. The whole plan was kind of retarded because now they're left w/ all women except Arthur the ultra fatty. Man, I don't know how long I was away. The next week, the fatties went home for 2 weeks and then had a weigh-in after running a 5K on a treadmill. The twist was, the fatties would get to choose their trainers again and switch if they wanted to. The home footage was ultra boring. I really wanted to see the fatties eating in the real world w/ their friends saying, "A salad? Here, you deserve a break. Have some chili fries." Instead, it was a ton of blah blah blah about how much they loved their families. Ick. Nauseating. Are the directors and producers of this show gay pansies or what? So then the fatties came back and did their 5k and surprisingly enough, the results were very similar w/ the very first time they did it. Jen switched back to the black team (ranchers) and Sarah stuck w/ the black team too. Arthur was forced to switch to the red team (ridgers) and everbody cried. Oh boo freakin' hoo. At least you're still there. Uh, wait a minute. Unfortunately, the ridgers lost the weigh-in and they booted Arthur's fat ass. Bye ya big sissy baby. This time nobody did the self sabotage thing. Yay! They finally caught the martyrs off guard. The lone mother on the black team even said she would've sacrificed herself to save Arthur. Well, ya didn't. I'm sick to death of everybody trying to keep Arthur on the ranch when he doesn't put his whole effort into it himself. Pa-thetic. Last week, the teams chose captains. The captains had to choose one person to be the cook. That person was the only one allowed in the kitchen. Then they picked 2 people from their team who were allowed to be w/ the trainers. Well, BFD. I knew I didn't like those snooty sisters from the black team. Sarah and the sister were chosen to work w/ the trainers and the sister looked like she was told she had to live w/ a skunk for the week. What a bee-yotch. This time, the ranchers all girl team actually won the challenge but then lost the weigh-in and nobody tried to gain weight. Poor Sarah. She was the odd girl out and I knew she was going to get booted and she did. What a dumbass. She should've gone back to her original team but then again, I was sick and tired of her boo hooing she couldn't have kids cuz she was too fat. Whatever.

Top Chef Allstars is down to the final four. Here's how they got there. Quickfire: The chefs had to deep fry something for Paula Deen. Antonia had a great dish and a brain fart and lost to Mike Isabella cuz she only plated one plate. Meanwhile, Isabella used a dish he'd seen illustrated in Richard's notebook. Yo Richard! You're in a competition. Don't show the competitor your playbook. Then the chefs had to use seafood from the New Orleans gulf region and feed 300 people. The catch was, the protein they chose came w/ a past eliminated chef as their sous chef. Blaise had the right idea and chose the sous chef cuz if you're a great chef, you can make any protein taste good. So Blaise chose Fabio. Yay! Then the rest of the chefs just tried not to get Marcel but he had a great protein so Tiffany took him. Marcel needs to learn to shut up after he's eliminated. Nobody cares about your food concepts anymore cuz you're out of the competition. On the other hand, Isabella looked clueless so Tiffany F. gave him suggestions and he went with it. In the end, Dale paid for his sins in the Dim Sum challenge. Instead of getting away w/ just feeding the judges and ignoring the crowd he was supposed to feed, the crowd came through first, ate the good stuff and he had subpar undercooked food to serve to the judges. Haw haw. Tiffany moved too slowly for this show. Marcel ended up cooking her shrimp and sauce and the judges didn't like either. Carla tried to serve common food to the high end crowd and didn't get away w/ that. I loved that she picked Tre as her sous chef thinking he would know Southern food that black people eat and he didn't. What is chow chow? In the end, Richard won and Dale was sent home. The best part? John Besh was on the show. Hoo hoo hoo. I was drooling and not at the food. So for the next week, the quickfire consisted of the chefs trying to make something edible out of ferry snackbar food. Ew. Somehow, Carla found fruit and marinated it in juice. The judge was that chef who has a farm. I'm sure he was gagging on the processed food. Mike Isabella made what I call college stew and I guess it tasted as bad as it looked. Since Carla had the only food that looked fresh, she won. Then tah-dah, they were on Ellis island. Why waste time on a ferry? Let it be part of the show. Anyway, I digress. Then family members showed up, people cried, and family trees and heritage books were pulled out. Blah blah blah, nauseating. The only interesting thing was, Mike and Antonia turned out to be cousins from Italy. Oh boy! Then the chefs had to cook a dish inspired by their ancestry. It seemed nobody could diss the dishes in front of the family members and in the end, the judges let everybody pass to the finale. Are you kidding me? Make a choice people. That's your job. If you couldn't pick the worst then pick the least best. Yeesh. Not only that, but they about gave Richard a heart attack by saying, "Richard, please pack your knives and...go to the Bahamas." I thought he was going to pass out right there. Since there's 5 people in the finale location, I'm not sure how long it's going to be. So the first show is in the Bahamas and when the chefs land, the winners of their season are standing there. The quickfire is to cook head to head w/ the same protein against their Top Chef. It was interesting that none of the proteins were seafood. Richard and Antonia also cooked against Stefanie. Mike Isabella beat Mike Voltaggio which I couldn't believe at all. Tiffany beat Kevin and Richard beat Stefanie. Carla and Antonia well...didn't win. Then the chefs were told they were going to cook for royalty. Oh really? I can't believe they thought they were going to be upscale people. Have you ever seen the people of the Bahamas? There's a reason they don't eat inside. After coming up w/ their dish, they found they were going to cook for the King of Junkanoo; emphasis on junk. Anyway, as luck would have it, the kitchen fryer caught on fire and they had to start all over again. You could really see the fatigue. Anyway, Carla and Antonia landed in the bottom again but Carla was sent home for very underdone pork and Mike Isabella was declared the winner of this round.

On Survivor, things are not as usual. First, we found Ralph found the Immunity Idol instead of the troll Russell. We find Russell's looking for the idol w/ his chosen dumb girl alliance. Well, Russell, they're not only dumb but unlikeable too and that's not a good combination. Anyway, on Rob's team, the former federal agent is driving everybody nuts. So the teams have their challenge and Rob's team loses. The blonde christian guy goes and shakes hands and congratulates the other team on their win. Rob's furious. This is how influential Rob is. He got his alliance to turn on one of it's members and the blonde christian was booted. At the same time, Christina thought she'd get the vote and used her immunity idol. I swear, I could see Rob twirling his mustache. So finally we get to see a duel. It's Francesqua (no wonder Phil said it funny) and the blonde guy. It's just a mini challenge repeat of a former big challenge. The blonde guy wins with 2 people from each tribe as witnesses. Bye Frannie. One less lawyer always makes a better world. I loved that Russell's guys lied to him and said the woman won. This season, Russell's getting played. On Rob's team, Phil's still driving everyone nuts. At the challenge, Russell's team decides to throw the challenge. No kidding. I was waiting for a tribe to realize they need to get rid of Russell before it's too late. They did the old turn people on wheel and have them spit to fill container but then they added a puzzle to the end. So anyway, Rob's team won and didn't seem to have a clue that the other team wasn't trying. Russell tried to fool his tribe into thinking is tiny group had the immunity idol. I thought Ralph would tell his tribe then that he had it but he didn't. They split the vote and Russell tried to sway one lady but she turned out to be smarter than the usual putzes and Russell was booted. Last week, we saw the blonde christian against the devil Russell in their duel. It was a domino chain thing. The christian was victorious and then Russell vented everything. First he cried, the shouted out who the tribe leader was, they threw the last challenge and that he had the clue to the idol. Ralph should've stayed quiet and let the other team think Russell was totally crazy but nope, he let it slip that he had the idol. Oy vey. At the challenge, Ralph's team won again. Rob was livid cuz he thought he had a tribe that could win and found he didn't. It's not always good to have all girls on your tribe if you're worried about your ego. So off to tribal again. I forgot to mention, Rob found the immunity idol during the duel time while the rest of the tribe was frolicking on the beach. Anyway, it was kind of a given that Christina would be voted out since Rob dictated it; even though the whole tribe wanted to get rid of Phil but Rob can't afford to lose any more men for the challenges. So they've gotten rid of a lawyer, a christian, a rat and a be-yotch. Wow! They are making the world a better place.

America's Next Top Model is also on Wednesday nights. Jeez. This season, there was none of that half audition thing in front of the J's and Tyra. At least they didn't televise it. The final girls were told they didn't make the cut and were loaded onto a bus to get their luggage at a place. Then they found, it was their house. Oh that crafty Tyra. It's an interesting group. Some of the girls look like girls from past seasons. There's the usual bitchy one, the awkward one, the plus sized one and the androgynous one. One thing I notice, nobody is near the mid 20's which is nearing retirement age for models. Also, there are a lot of bad complexions. In the 3rd season, they made a huge deal of Yaya's bad skin. The bad skin this year is even worse. So anyway, the first modeling thing is to walk a skinny runway in a pool in a plastic ball. OMG. I felt sorry for the girls who fell cuz it looked like it really hurt and they had a really tough time getting back on their feet. Then their photoshoot was done backstage while getting ready for the runway. Way to utilize the time Tyra. The cute hispanic looking girl was booted. Okay. The next episode had the girls making a picture of their worst critics which turned out to be themselves. Their parents must be really nice. It was really dumb and made just to make the girls cry. One girl who talked nonchalantly of her brother's being dead really kind of broke down and broke through a wall. Then the girls had to do a photoshoot w/ bees. Eek! I loved the cotton in the nose and ears. Thank goodness for photoshop. At elimination, the girl w/ the dead brothers issue decided she needed to take care of her issues and not in this venue and bowed out. Tyra went right ahead and booted another girl anyway. Good going. Last week was finally the make-overs. Wow! What a lot of extensions and weaves this season. A couple of girls didn't really have anything done. Then the girls had to do a photoshoot in designer clothes in pairs. Wow! Alexandra isn't just bitchy but a diva too. Wouldn't you know it? She won best photo. Oh brother. Dominique was sent home w/ her huge freckles that disguised her bad complexion.

Finally, on The Amazing Race, the teams made it out of Australia but that dumb couple came in last so were eliminated due to their automatic u-turn. Already the teams are showing a lack of reading ability. The clue said to dance on their picture they made and some didn't do that. Then they had a really funny detour that had the teams dressing as kangaroos. Zev and Justin won the leg. Okay, so after that long leg, I'm not sure where they were but the writer guy and his Dad are having troubles with cramps in the legs and what not. Oh boy! So the teams are in China, I think. They have to do a Chinese warrior task thing and hunt for lucky frogs in a bog while people pelt them w/ mud. I think the producers are going for a really funny season. The bitchy cheerleaders are really having a bad luck day w/ breaking another driver's mirror off and getting lost, etc. They think they're in last place. Once again, Zev and Justin get to the mat first. Surprisingly, the writer guy and his Dad don't finish the detour and come in last. I think it's best and get to the hospital already. Last week, the teams are to travel to another part of China. China is huge so yes it can take all night to fly across it. For some reason, Kent and Vyxin drive 6 hours in the wrong direction on their way to the airport and miss the required flight. I'm sure most of the requirement thing was about immigration. It's not like they caught another flight because they didn't want to get on the required flight so I doubt they'll be penalized. Anyway, it did put them about 6 hours behind everybody. Then in China, it seemed Ron and Christina (the Chinese Dad and daughter) would have the advantage. Ron wanted to sightsee and eat. The teams had to ride a yak. The cowboys were so funny w/ Cord whupping the yak like a steer as he rode it. The Chinese weren't impressed. Then the teams had to hunt for little zodiac signs and then hang them in order. It took Zev literally all day cuz Kent and Vyxin showed up while they were still there. Then the teams chose to all pound Chinese candy. Vyxin found she lost her fanny pack on the gondola. OMG. I'm really surprised cuz this time Kent is calm and Vyxin is frantic. They must've switched their meds. So the deaf guy and his bitchy mom get to the mat first but it's not a pitstop. They're still racing and the episode is to be continued again. I hope they don't do this too many times. It's getting old.

I'd like to know. Where the heck are the Law & Order shows? I know the original is done but where's Law & Order: Criminal Intent? Where's Law & Order Los Angeles? Grrrr...Come back. I'm craving some cerebral drama.

Okay, I'll get a grip and see you guys next time. Stay Tuned.

New Twists, Old Competitors.

2011-02-22T01:30:00.000-08:00

WEll, well, well the new seasons are beginning.

I haven't watched it, but The Bachelor brought back a bachelor who didn't pick someone the last time. Really? We get to hate the guy all over again? What a bunch of loser women too? Who is really that desperate. You know they're not genuine at all and just want their 15 minutes on the boob tube. Ick and double ick.

On Rupaul's Drag Race, the women had to first do a scandalous papparazzi shot. How funny that they either did a beaver shot, a wardrobe malfunction shot or a fighting shot. Raja needs to remember she's supposed to be feminine. He/She did her bloody makeup too graphically and you could see the "Ew." on Rupaul's face. Stacy Lane Matthews and one of the big hispanic accent girls won. They then each chose girls for their teams for the next challenge. The girls had to do a newscast complete w/ anchors, gossip headliner, interviewer and weathergirl. Debbie Matenopolis was there to give them pointers and critiques. Stacy's group wasn't too bad. Actually, she was the most boring on her team. The other team was too boring all the way around. India Ferra did the weather and the graphics were more fun than she was. Once again, Raja was really boring too. The runway was really interesting. The guest judge was Chloe Sevigney. For once, those fatties weren't the ugliest girl in the room. The outfits were really interesting. One was a newspaper top that didn't go all the way around w/ a newpaper bikini brief. Impressive. No real girl could've pulled that off. Anyway, Shangela was declared the winner. India Ferra couldn't out lip synch Stacy Lane and was sent home. Good riddance. What a freakin' whining downer. Now I know why his parents beat him. They were trying to see if he was alive or not.

Face Off went straight to the big challenge. The makeup artists were to make their own horror monster w/ a movie title and tagline to go w/ it. This was really interesting. Just by watching, you learn a lot w/out someone having to verbally explain everything. There was a big disfigurement theme because these are makeup artists. You can't just dress your model in black and say he's insane like Norman Bates. I loved the footage of Gage and Marcel trying to get their silicon prosthetics and masks out of the stuck molds. Meghan is still flirting madly w/ Conor and he's a bit oblivious to it. Jeez dude, she's about blowing you over w/ the wind from her fluttering eyelashes. Jo's ear guages are so big, she looks like one of those African women who can pull their earlobes over their baby's head but that's their goal. What's up w/ her? Anyway, I thought Tate's monster was really impressive. He always has a knack for using the whole body. Meghan's was dumb. she made a geeky human w/ a big misshapen mouth. Anthony's Mr. Hyde take off wasn't as bad as he thought. Tom's monster was a human teddy bear hybrid. In the end, he won. The winner always gets to put his or her 2 cents in about who they think should go. The judges have only listened to the winner once. If I were the winner, I'd say, "You don't listen to us anyway so I'm just gonna shut up." Cuz it puts the idea in the minds of the judges that the winning person is just bitter or jealous when it's really not the case. The judges should really listen because these competitors know who's just sliding by or getting too much help. In the end, everyone was surprised cuz Marcel was sent home. He's been doing some really brilliant work so nobody understood this decision at all.

Survivor is back! There are new twists. There is a redemption island that the booted player goes to. Each week (except the first of course) there will be a duel between the previously ousted player and the recent ousted player and the winner will be able to stay but only on the island dueling w/ each ousted player until he/she is defeated themself. Then that player duels the next new ousted player and so on and so on. I'm not sure when the duel survivor will return to the game but I'm sure it'll be at a good time. Probably the merge. The other twist is, Boston Rob and Ratfaced Russell are back. It was so funny to see the reactions. The people were kind of happy to see Boston Rob but the other group faked the joy at Russell joining them. Then they all went to their campsites w/ a fully loaded building kit. Poor Rob. He's got almost all girls on his tribe w/ one wackadoo guy who says he's a former federal agent. I'm thinking he only had one day on the job before they booted him out. On Russell's tribe, people were sizing each other up. I have a feeling Russell ditched the cameras when looking for the hidden immunity idol cuz we got a lot of shots of him coming out of the jungle while everyone was working. It seems he's laying low this season. He did try and join up w/ one dumb girl already. If Russell asks you to ally w/ him, I wouldn't take it as a compliment. He likes his girls dumb, if you remember. On Rob's tribe, he's got a female version of Russell. The dame is dikey w/ an attitude. Y'know. Wants to prove she's got big balls too. Whatever. She found the immunity idol and then made an alliance w/ Francesca and Phillip. It's odd that her 2 buddies were the only black people and one alienated himself by being really annoying. Meanwhile, Rob just acted respectable and everybody else gave him respect. So for the challenge, they had to push big huge rock things on a track, then chop ropes to loose the gate and then put a big 3-D puzzle together. Rob's all girl tribe proved they didn't have enough muscle and fell wayyyyy behind. Even though Rob's a whiz at puzzles, they just couldn't make up the time and ratfaced Russell's tribe won. For the rest of the show, that tribe fell off the face of the earth. So female Russell is trying to make a plan but Phillip is dumber than a box of rocks. I say, if you see someone is that dumb, why stay in an alliance w/ him? Rob smells a rat and makes a good plan to split the vote for the outsiders. This time around, he's got the numbers on his side. As long as his tribe doesn't lose all the immunity challenges, he should do better this season. Tribal council was funnier than hell. Everything was going along well until Francesca said, "No one's going to vote for Rob." Phillip doesn't know what purposeful deception is and spilled the beans about his alliance, the plan to vote out Rob and use the idol and the fact that female Russell had the immunity idol. Even Probst's jaw was on the ground. Everybody was absolutely gobsmacked and I was LOL. Rob showed his power in the group and made her show him the idol and then tried to get the idol by guaranteeing she wouldn't be voted out this time. She didn't go for it. I was surprised she didn't use her idol but in the end, it was Phil's vote that sent Francesca to Redemption island. Oh boy! What a great season it's turning out to be! I really hope Rob goes all the way this time. He really deserves it and I think other people think the same.

On Top Chef, the muppets made a guest appearance and it was hilarious. Of course when you have Cookie Monster on the show, it's pretty much a given that the chefs are going to make cookies. I was surprised to see how many had never made a cookie before. Antonia made a huge chocolate cookie that Elmo said looked like a cowchip and it did. Dale made a no-bake cookie w/ potato chips and he was declared the winner. I loved when Cookie Monster was so hungry he was eating the tablecloth. Too funny! I also liked that the muppets called Blais out for making something fancy that wasn't a cookie. Then the chefs had to cook a meal in Target. For a minute, I was really thinking Uh-oh... Until they said it's a new super kind of Target that has a grocery store in it. But they still had to set up their tables and appliances, shop and cook all in 3 hours. Really? I think I would've said, to hell w/ the fancy set up and just served on the boxes but they did have to have a table to work on and put appliances on. I was surprised nobody utilized the electric grills. You know they have all kinds of George Foreman grills there. Anyway, there were a lot of soups. The guys didn't really do the aesthetics and poor Carla took wayyy too long to shop. This is a cooking show. To heck w/ the tablecloths girl! In the end the chefs who didn't make just a soup were on the top. Blais made a pork tenderloin and I was impressed. Antonia made an egg dish ala minute by the looks of it and I was impressed. Dale did dorm food and spiced up tomato soup and made grilled cheese on the iron like I did in my college days. He was declared the winner. Tiffany, Carla and Angelo landed on the bottom. Mike had tasted Angelo's soup and told him it needed salt. Hmmm... I smell a rat. This time, oversalting did Angelo in. I guess this time, the salting did make the dish inedible unlike Dale's salty sandwich the week before. Bye Angelo, see you at the reunion.

The Amazing Race is back w/ old competitors who've never won. Some are couples who made it all the way to the end but lost by minutes. There are a couple of couples I can't stand. The deaf guy and his mother who always play him up as the victim. We don't hate you because you're deaf. We hate you because you're an asshole. You just happen to be deaf too. Those really bitchy cheerleaders are back too and wouldn't you know it. They're friends w/ the deaf guy and him bitchy mother. I hope they all pass out more than once. Some of my faves are back. The Dad/daughter Kentuckians, The Harlem Globetrotters, the Cowboys, the writer and his old dad, the Chinese Dad/daughter. The problem is, time has passed and the old people are older and the younger people aren't so young anymore. It really shows. The Cowboys don't seem as gung ho anymore. I think the producers threw a lot of money at them to do the show when they really didn't want to. Previously, Cord was doing the race as a last adventure w/ his friend before he got married. Now he's married and I think the cowboys are over the whole thing. The Harlem Globetrotters are back w/ a vengeance to prove their loss was just a fluke. Some of the other couples seem like they really need the money so they have that desperation. They Kentucky Dad/daughter team are doing back to back races. Wow! Anyway, they started in Indio, California among the windmills. First they had a hunt and search task. The clue was Queensland and Native Territories Air Service. Man, I realized these people weren't as bright as I thought. They didn't even put it together that it makes the acronym Qantas. Duh! And, the prize was an airline reservation. Finally everyone got off but the last team earned a u-turn in the next detour. I love the way they make the drive to the airport seem short. I'm not sure where they flew out of but the nearest big airport from Indio is at least 2 hours away. The first 8 teams earned seats on the first plane going out and was supposed to land an hour and a half earlier than the 2nd plane. 3 teams were on the 2nd plane. The funniest thing is, the first plane had a medical emergency on board and had to make a stop in Honolulu. How funny is that? As it was, they landed 1/2 hour behind the 2nd plane. The Kentuckians turned on the burners and led the pack the rest of the show. For the roadblock, one person had to find a compass w/ a puzzle key in a tank of sharks and stingrays. They weren't as petrified as I thought they should've been. Then they had to decipher a flag code w/ the key, find the commodore and tell him the pass phrase. The deaf guy and mother and the cheerleaders proved they're kind of dumb. I was glad to see other people weren't helping them. The chinese Dad/daughter team only told them but had them show them where the commodore was first. That was smart. The Cowboys showed they're really quite dumb. Not only did they not finish the puzzle to the end but got turned back more than once for not giving the correct pass phrase. Instead of sitting there saying, "I'm not good at puzzles." Shut up and keep working at it. That's when I knew they weren't really into it. I also got the idea when they weren't at all upset by missing the train and the ferry. I'm thinking, they're purposely trying to go home first. Well, not in this show cuz the finish mat wasn't the finish mat. Phil just gave them another clue. To be continued indeed.

The Worst Cooks in America had it's finale. Georg and Joshie had to cook a 3 course meal for judges. At least Ann and Robert made the menus. They were nice enough not to come up w/ things that had to be cleaned either. First they had a practice run which was nice so the cooks could see how the whole process had to be organized for the timed event and they could tweak the dishes. I realized Georg is really dumb. How many sauces has Robert made and had them make? So Robert says, "And we finish the sauce w/..." and Georg couldn't come up w/ butter. OMG! Have you been in this cooking competition for 8 weeks or what? Then later in the day, he asked the same question and she still couldn't come up w/ the answer. How retarded is she? Joshie pulled his finger out and found his groove. In the end, he won and deservedly so. The funniest part was, Ann and Robert had a side bet and Robert had to dye his hair platinum blonde when Georg lost. That was great except, everyone agrees, he looks better brunette.

Well, that's if for this week. See you all next time. Stay tuned!

Before the Big Guys Show Up

2011-02-18T00:45:00.000-08:00

The new seasons of Survivor, Amazing Race, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway are just around the bend. But before they show up, there are still a few good shows running.

Rupaul's Drag Race is turning out to be an interesting season. If Raja can pull out a little more natural personality, maybe she can win it. The quick challenge had the girls making outfits out of duct tape. It was hilarious. For some odd reason the fatties all decided to be in the same group and I think they took up enough duct tape to pave the LA freeway. Not only did they make outfits, but they had to start over after the first attempt. Oh boy! Anyway, the 2 hispanic guy/girls won with their cute workout wear. Hey, that segwayed perfectly into the next challenge. For the next challenge, the 2 girls each picked girls to make up their teams. Then they had to do a funny fitness segment. There's nothing funnier than broken english and outrageous spanish accents to make a fitness segment funny except maybe that shake weight. OMG, they really did go there. LOL! Susan Powter was the guest judge who helped give critiques to the girls during their filming of their segments. Some of the girls were really boring. For the runway, the girls had to emphasize their best asset. India Ferra must have been told her's was her skin cuz she showed a lot of it. The problem is, she's not exactly the skinniest girl in the bunch and it grossed out the judges. The girl w/ the hilarious spanish accented fitness segment and the glittery dress outshone everyone and won. She was very gracious and I think everyone likes her too cuz there were no glares from the other girls. MiMi Imfurst and India Ferra landed in the bottom. Somehow the lip synch-off turned into a WWE wrestling thing w/ Mimi giving India fireman's lift while India screamed her head off. I was RFLMAO and laughing so much, I was crying. In the end, Mimi was sent home. Yay! One fattie down and he wasn't cute as a girl or a guy.

On the crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser, the fatties all worked out together. For the temptation challenge, the fatties had 3 minutes alone surrounded by chocolates. Whoever ate the most got to switch 2 people from each team or leave the teams as they were. Y'know, I'm never surprised that Arthur chooses to eat every time. I think he doesn't give a hoot about the prize and really just wants to justify pigging out. It was so fun to watch him stuff down 35 chocolates. I love it when someone shows when they know how to do it. Oh come on. You really think they got fat by nibbling slowly? So the winner and didn't have to be revealed. The group was shocked when the green team and the pink team were switched but then the groups were one team black and the other red. I thought Q had won. Then Arthur did the dumbest thing ever. He told the group that he won and made the decision thinking the girl team would lose the least and keep him from being in the bottom of the group. Whatever. Maybe he forgot they base it on percentage of body weight. So the teams worked out together again. Then they had a kind of luxury challenge. They had to do a relay race where they had to do different tasks in each leg. The black team (ranchers) won big time cuz the guys on the red team (ridgers) couldn't figure out which dishes had the most calories. I didn't know a bowl of chili had less calories than a couple of smores. The prize was videos from home. Let the crying commence! Ick! Then came the weigh-in. The red team had impressive numbers but the black team won by a big margin. I can't believe how well the women are doing this season. The red team voted out Q and I wasn't a bit surprised. He was lazy, whiny, unpleasant and lost the least. Bye! My hero, Rulon Gardner is still on the show. Yay!

Top Chef had a fondue quickfire. The twist was, the chefs tasted all the dishes and then judged each other. Dale won w/ his fo-ndue. Hmmm...boiling broth. Dipping things in it? Sounds like soup to me. The fun part of the show was, the chefs appeared on The Jimmy Fallon show and were challenged to do one of his favorite dishes for his birthday. They did quick phone pic shots of dishes as they flashed on a screen and whatever they captured, that was their dish. It was quite cool to see that one dish was tongue. Carla did a happy dance when she got chicken pot pie. The eating group consisted of Jimmy Fallon's family and show friends and of course the judges. Anthony Bourdain was MIA this week and it just wasn't as much fun but oh well. Carla won w/ her homey chicken pot pie. Dale made a cheesesteak sandwich that turned out to be made w/ salty components that added up to a whole lot of salt. One thing I've noticed. When you cook for sensitive palates, you don't want to over do the salt. Tiffany made a chicken and dumpling dish that wasn't chicken and dumplings. Although, it did have chicken in it. Americans hate it when foreigners tell them what a hamburger should be. Instead of asking all the Americans around him how to make a good burger, he moaned, "Burgers aren't my thing. I don't even know how to make one." Then proceeded to make a meatball sandwich w/ cheese on the side. Not good. Antonia had no experience eating much less cooking tongue but she asked for advice and came out in the top 3. So in the end, Fabio was sent home. Sigh, I'll miss his accent and cute Italian self.

A new show I've forgotten to blog about is Face Off. It's a competition for media make-up artists. I'm not talking cosmetics either. These guys and gals are geniuses w/ prosthetics, paint and make-up. They've had to make animal human hybrids, do a person in full body makeup to fit into a background and this week they had to work in pairs to make an alien for the brand new discovered M class planet. They showed a short video on what the planet was like. This show is educational too. Coooooool!!! The 2 names I do know on the show are Colin and Frank. One chick is so into Colin, she speaks his name about every 3 minutes. Everybody moans and complains about Frank and his laziness. Personally, I think Frank was over the competition after week 1. In the end, Colin's team won w/ the female alien in a long robe. That was pretty smart since the robe covered most of the body and all they had to concentrate on was the head and hands. They were able to do intricate work and it looked great. I always wonder why people want to do a lot of stuff in a short amount of time. Frank forgot this wasn't the full body paint challenge and he and his unfortunate partner were declared the worst. Frank was sent home and let the people know he was very happy about it. It's so unfair that he didn't bow out earlier and let someone else have a chance. What a dumbass.

Worst Cooks in America was down to 4. It's the show before the finale. First, they taught the cooks how to flambe. It was amazing how much confidence the cooks gained by learning to cook w/ big flames. Then the family members were brought in. Kelsey and her husband were so cute together. Yep, Georg's wife looks like a guy. Anyway, the cooks were told they were to make a dish the family member wanted. Kelsey made venison. Georg made fish. Carlos made a Thai dish and Joshie made a sweet chicken dish. It was impressive that all the cooks did really well. I LOL when Kelsey's husband said he was scared to eat her food. No wonder. She gave him food poisoning twice and they've only been married a year. I'd be terrified. In the end, Kelsey and Carlos weren't as good as the Georg and Joshie. So for the finale, it's Joshie or Georg to win it all. I can't wait cuz they've really come far and this year, these people are for real.

Well, that's about all for this week. Stay tuned.

We're in a slow season!

2011-02-07T13:43:00.000-08:00

I realized there aren't very many reality shows on right now but I'll tell ya about the one's that are on.

The new Season of Rupaul's Drag Race is on. I'm not sure if I actually saw the latest episode but I'll tell ya about the one I did see that wasn't on the Logo channel. Unfortunately, my new satellite company requires a high price for this channel. Way to stick it to a specific group huh? Anyway, it's quite a large group of contestants and I don't just mean numbers. There are at least 4 fat guys. I swear Tyra's makeup artist from America's Next Top Model is one of the guy/girls. The girls had to first work in 2 groups and put on a campy movie sci fi movie trailer. Man, there was over acting, bad acting and no acting going on. Of course the judges liked the over acting. The people helping the girls get the whole thing done were supposed to be famous but I didn't know them from Adam. Who cares anyway? For the final judging the girls had to do a futuristic look. Oh boy! All I have to say is, fat guys don't make pretty girls. Men usually carry their over weight in their abdomens and that's not pretty. BTW, Shangela is back. I'm wondering why he gets a redo but why ask why? Um...can't remember the guest judge and can't remember who won or was sent home. I think the one sent home was the guy w/ the glued wig falling off. I have no idea how this is judged cuz I would start bumping off the fatties one by one first. But oh well. It's making me not miss the Logo channel after all.

The crying fatties aka, The Biggest Loser continued but the unknowns on the ridge came back to roost on the ranch. We'll call them the ridgers and the main players the ranchers. So we saw a lot of working out and people trying to show how fit they became. The black guy from the ridgers proved himself a slacker and the rest of the group pounced all over that and lost total respect for him. Rulon Gould proved the equipment on the ranch is cheap cuz he broke 2 treadmills. I was wanting to see the logo on those machines but they didn't show it. They probably were told not to by the company. The ridge team did the challenge. The teams had to put weights on each other's platforms until they hit 500 pounds and then they were out of the competition. The last team standing received immunity. Ok! Well, this time, there was no pre-challenge decision and it was every team for themselves. Rulon proved why he's an Olympic Champ. He had a great strategy using the lighter weights first while the piling frenzy went on and saving the heavier weights for the head to head at the end. It worked and his team won. So on to the weigh-in. The ranchers did pretty well except the lone girl and twin team. They twin decided he was missing his brother and home and the ranch wasn't for him. The team threw the weigh in by each gaining 6 pounds. Good lord! That twin has gained more weight than some people have lost in 2 weeks. I love the way it pisses off Jillian and Bob. Hee hee hee. Anyway, they owned up to it and Don was sent home right there by a unanimous show of hands. The ridgers lined up to weigh and the black couple fell below the yellow line. I have to say, the ridgers put up some incredible numbers and the ranchers now wear a look of fear. So the ridgers wanted to vote out the black guy but he cried and gave promises and excuses. His wife said she wanted to go home so in the end, they gave in and sent her home. Bye! Those 2 really are losers and not in a good way. Blech!

Top Chef Allstars are at that point where we kind of hate to see any of them go. I like everybody. The quickfire was about food presentation. Isaac Mizrahi challenged the chefs to make art w/ the food. They did and the food wasn't tasted at all. It was quite interesting. Angelo made something that looked like barf in a bag. Oooh...pretty. Richard Blais was declared the winner for making a black and white really cool looking dish. Then the group was split into 3 groups of 3 and 3 mafioso looking and sounding guys walked in. For the elimination challenge, the chefs were to cook an Italian dinner. The first group would do the anitpasto, the 2nd group the pasta course and the 3rd group the meat course. It wasn't a team challenge cuz each chef had to do their own dish and be judged as such. Luckily, each group ended up w/ an Italian. Antonia was in the first group and she made steamed mussels. I've had this as an appetizer in Italian restaurants and the thing that makes it not French is the large amount of garlic in the dish and the bread that goes w/ it. Carla made minestrone soup and Tiffany made a polenta and sausage terrine thing. The judging was in Rao's restaurant w/ the guest judges the mafioso guys of the place, the regular judges and that Italian actress w/ the raspy voice who's been on the show before. The people all repeated over and over that Italian food is all about the ingredients and doing them simply so they shine. Okay! For the second course, Mike Isabella tried to make homemade rigatoni which turned out to have the texture of a shingle but his sauce was good. Dale Talde gave the excuse that he's not Italian but hello, you do use noodles in your oriental dishes don't you? His dish was declared terrible too. Tre made risotto that offended the judges. Uh oh. For the meat course, Fabio made Chicken cacciatori and polenta that made the judges say, "This reminds me of home." I thought, oh he's got this in the bag. Richard made fish and Angelo made beef I believe. What? No veal? To everybody's surprise, Antonia won. Poor Fabio, he can't catch a break. He vented a bit and said Antonia's dish was French but it must've been really really good. Tre tried to argue w/ the Italian judges about the correct consistency of risotto. Really? I was waiting for Colicchio to say, "Do you know who you're talking to?" In the end, Tre couldn't admit his sins and was booted. He took it well. I'll miss his laugh.

The Food Network has a show called Challenge where it's a one day contest between 4 people to make cakes, chocolate show pieces, sugar show pieces and even fruit and vegetable carvings. The contestants are pretty much different each week and each challenge theme is different. I really like this show except for one thing. Kerry Vincent is a judge and she's the worst sour puss I've ever seen. She's one of those English pretentious people who always look like they smell dooky. I really wish they'd give her a month off. Yeesh.

The Worst Cooks in America are down to 6 people. For the skills challenge the cooks were shown how to make sausage and then challenged to make their own. Then they had to make a dish w/ it. I love that Robert totally gags and spits out bad tasting food. The black guy way oversalted his sausage and you could tell cuz there seemed to be more salt than meat in the bowl. Then for the elimination challenge, the blue group had to filet sea bass. The red group had to clean calamari. Ew! Why? You can always buy already cleaned calamari at the store or fish market. I didn't blame the cooks for gagging w/ this one. Then they had to make side dishes that consisted of the food they hated along w/ their fish or calamari. It was obvious that the black guy didn't listen very well. Kelsey did her burning food thing. I think it's a reaction to giving her husband food poisoning twice. She wants to make sure things aren't undercooked. The red team had to stuff their calamari for their dish. Everyone was a frenetic hot mess. In the end, Carlos and Kelsey were declared the winners and the black guy and Kat were sent home. One thing I learned was Georg is lesbian. That was interesting. One thing I knew already? Kat is dumb and the black guy dumber so dumb and dumber were sent home. Bye!

Well, that's all for now. See you all next time and stay tuned.

No, Really?

2011-01-31T11:44:00.000-08:00

It was kind of a sad week. The new seasons of shows haven't started and the ones now are winding down.

Cake Boss: The Next Great Baker had it's finale. The last 3 bakertestants standing were Dana, Meghan and Corina. The poor final 3 had to gut out a grueling baking marathon. They had to bake pies, cakes and pastries to sell. First, the quick challenge was to see how much gunk they could scoop out of a grease trap. Ack! It was gross to watch so I can imagine it was worse to do. Dana won and was able to choose his staff of 4, from Buddy's whole staff, first. Then the bakers just spent all day and night baking their hearts out. Corina seemed the least experienced and I think her brain was totally dead. She barely made enough stuff while Dana and Meghan made way more than what was asked for. Very smart, since there was a competition to see how much they could sell too. Instead of money, people had tickets to trade for the baked goods. That meant, even if they only bought a cookie, it still counted. Dana won that round. Then the bakers also had to make and decorate a cake for the mayor of Hoboken. For some reason, I was expecting to see Frank Sinatra on the cake but it was more about city scapes. Corina sold the least so she was cut before the cake presentations. Then they had the ending in front of a large audience. Dana won, the confetti fell and everybody cheered. That was that. They did show Dana his new workplace complete w/ a cake in the shape of a bust of Dana. Oh boy!

The Fashion Show also had it's finale. The designers left were Dominique, the crazy Philipino guy and the gay black guy. They each had to make a collection of 9 pieces. So they worked and worked. Calvin seemed to be a magic elf banging clothes out like a machine. Jeffrey seemed to have a hot mess and Dominique was hoing and humming all over her area. Then they were each challenged to make a 10th design out of their comfort zone w/ the help of 1 former designer. We hear a lot of boo hoo stories about dying parents and how they're influencing the designs. Note to the director, we only need to hear that once. Where was the footage of actual sewing? So finally the final runway show comes about. Calvin goes first and his whole collection is white and black but not boring. His last look is a long red gown. Dominique's clothes look like homeless clothes. Only the people in Oregon wear grunge and it's because they're grungy and not in a good way. Jeffrey pulled out a miracle and actually had well sewn clothes to walk down the runway. Some of his stuff looked like the same stuff in a different color. So, the judges oohed and ahed. For a minute, I thought Calvin might win it, but Jeffrey was declared the winner and all the former contestants were there to congratulate him. So, that was that and I totally admit, I still don't know anything about fashion cuz I rarely agreed w/ the judges.

Top Chef Allstars didn't show a new episode this week. Booo!

The crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser had an abbreviated episode due to our media hog President having to make a big speech that really meant nothing. I refuse to watch him until he can tell the truth and I guess that will be never. They started out w/ a screaming match between Jillian and the remaining twin. So what if they did throw the weigh-in? Get over it and move on. Anyway, they had a temptation challenge. The fatties were presented w/ a big room of all their favorite foods. Whoever ate the most calories got to choose a team to go to the unknowns. Nobody ate. Then Arthur and his...what is he? Dad? Anyway, Arthur decided to eat a chicken leg and the sound effects were hilarious. We heard smacking, gnawing, gobbling and crunching w/ just one leg. It was quite amusing since it made Arthur look like a total pig. So he won and he sent the green team to the barn of the unknowns. We find that the unknowns don't have it too bad. They have a bigger swimming pool, maid service and meals cooked by someone other than them. That always helps cuz food cooked by someone else always tastes better. Then the Main ranch fatties had to do a challenge against the green team representing the unknowns. They had to guess the number of calories in a table of the favorite foods of the fatties. Each number was pulled up w/ lights indicating if they were on the mark, under or above it. The Main ranch people won and their prize was letters from home. Everybody cried and the letters sounded like they were written by total morons. That was it for the week and I'm still mad at Bananobama for inserting his stupid self into my TV realm.

There's a new show called You're Cut Off. They take a bunch of spoiled lazy party socialite wannabe girls, house them together and then challenge them to not be spendthrifts, stupid and lazy. Well, it's not working. They like dressing like hookers, drink until stupid and belligerent and never seem to realize things don't magically appear out of thin air. The host seems to play housemother chastising some and patting others on the head and saying, "Good girl." Yeah, I wanna go and set fire to that house. It would rid the world of some unwanted vermin.

The SAG Awards had it's showing. It was great! They did w/out a host and we didn't miss it. They let the winners actually make their speeches. Betty White not only presented but won too showing she truly is da bomb. They had too many people making speeches to present the lifetime achievement award to Ernest Borgnine. Poor thing, he was so confused, he almost went onstage too early. The In Memorium made me realize the stars I grew up w/ are dropping like flies. The atmosphere was light and they kept the show moving very well.

On The Worst Cooks In America, the cooks had a recipe all taken apart and mixed up. Each team had to try and put it back together and make the dish. Oh come on! I'm not even sure pro chefs could do this. I felt bad for the cooks. I think the goal for every show is to see fear and dismay on every face, every week. Then the cooks had to make party foods for a football player and his friends. Really? One main problem w/ these cooks is, they have no palate. So one hors deourve had to be on a potato pancake and then they had a recipe for another. The difference between this year and last year is, the cooks this year seem more sincere. Last year, they were just people who wanted to be on TV and it really seemed fake and a put-on; especially that girl w/ the heavy makeup and the 1920's pin-up look. Please. Nobody looks like that in real life. Anyway, these cooks really are puzzled and lost and they aren't good judges of what flavors will go together. So yes, most had issues w/ flavors and techniques. In the end, Carlos and Joshie were declared the winners and Jen and Kelly were sent home. Kelly was a surprise since I thought she was doing really good every week. Jen, didn't have a discerning palate at all. Every week her food was underseasoned and bland. She seemed the most disappointed to go home. Awwww... Oh well, maybe we'll see them again at a reunion show or something.

Well, that's it. See ya next time.

Poo On the Critics!

2011-01-24T20:11:00.000-08:00

I hate the critics. They are so snobby and pretentious, they tend to want to think for the viewer. Well not this time. Not all shows are taking themselves seriously. Not all shows are like real life. Actually, not very many shows are like real life cuz real life is slow moving and boring.

Already, the critics are dissing Harry's Law. For one thing, this is a David E. Kelley show. They are always a bit outrageous w/ a lot of digging at the profession. In this terrible economic time, we're not in the mood for true to life dramas. We need to laugh at something and escape. Harry's Law is just the ticket. Kathy Bates plays an old crusty curmudgeon really well and she doesn't seem like just an old bitch either. It helps that she's not skinny. If she was, we'd probably think she was crabby from hunger. Brittany Snow does a good job not being a dumb blonde. She's perky but balances out the cynical Harry. There's a new lawyer and for once, not a person looking for a mentor. He's intelligent, confident and just looking for a new scene. I liked the pilot. Yes, it was kind of outrageous. I mean, who could come out of being landed on by a jumper and being hit by a car, totally unscathed? But it's quick, witty, fun and bright. I hope it survives. Just like The Defenders, it's something to take us out of this dreery world for just a short time and we don't have to write things down to keep track of what's going on week to week. It's just pure entertainment.

On Cake Boss: the Next Great Baker, the bakertestants had to make a cake for Chevrolet advertising a new car. What a hot mess! Meagan made a huge car shaped cake w/ tiny wheels but they did spin. Corina made half a car smushed into a sky colored wall. Dana made a car that looked kind of lumpy. Jay did as well and then perched his on a little cake. Brian's downfall was, he didn't use cake. His car was impressive but this is a baking competition so you need to have sponge somewhere. After Buddy checked out their work halfway through the day, he decided they all looked pretty bad and was going to need another criteria to judge. He made them make a dessert. Brian was just a mess in everything. He burned his cookie and the cake had no cake. This is someone who needs to do his work right the first time. Having to redo everything is wasteful of time and money. Anyway, Dana was again declared the winner and Brian was mercifully sent home. I can't take one more week of watching this doofus.

The crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser finally revealed the unknown trainers. Is it just me or have I seen these guys on other reality shows? Anyway, we got to see their sob stories. The first challenge was the fatties worked as teams. They had to balance an egg on an upside down frying pan and the person from each team who dropped their egg last won a cooking lesson w/ that Aussie chef from Celebrity Apprentice. The Unknowns came together and decided who was going to win before the game started. The main ranch players fought it out. I loved it cuz the unknowns threw their eggs over the barrier but they didn't hit anybody; shucks! I also liked that they weren't going to waste time playing the stupid game. Let's be grown up about this, huh? So the winners (2 women) watched the guy cook his meal for them and then they had to guess the calories in the meal. Really? I thought people who were food oriented and professional dieters knew the calorie count on everything. I guessed and I was closer. Anyway, the main ranch lady won the 2 pound advantage. So then we got to see them work out blah blah blah. The big challenge involved hauling water and dumping it into competitors' barrels. The main ranch people took a cue from the unknowns and decided on a winner before the competition so there wasn't any trash talk and everyone got along. The alone girl was chosen cuz she got the only vote at elimination. The weigh-in was really surprising. The one twin had told the group he was wanting to go home to his family. You could see he wasn't happy. Everyone knows you can't lose weight aggressively if you're not happy. At the weigh-in, the really fat fatty (Arthur), lost only 4 pounds. Oh come on! I know he's had poops that weighed more than 4 pounds. Then the twins stepped up last. I know they pre-weigh these people to line them up for the best effect. OMG, the twins not only didn't lose weight, but they each gained 9 pounds. Really? I smell self sabotage w/ crossed wires. I have a feeling they didn't intend to gain that much cuz that's just embarrassing but they wanted to be sure to be on the bottom. I love it that Bob and Jillian look totally mortified and embarrassed. Hee hee hee. Yeah, you can't make these people lose weight if they don't want to. So the twin who wanted to go home, went home. Bye! See you at the finale.

On The Fashion Show, the designers worked in their houses w/ only 2 in each. They had to do 3 looks each based on the elements: earth, wind and water. I was wondering why they didn't include fire but oh well. House of Emerald made clothes that were flowy, beautiful and colorful but not too bright. House of Nami was run by Calvin cuz Dominique was in no mood to fight. Their looks looked like homeless couture complete w/ barefoot models and no color either. I don't know what the judges were smoking, but they declared House of Nami the winner. Calvin made a maternal pregnancy dress. When someone did that on Project Runway, they were sent home. It was horrible and nobody would ever buy it. Dominique was declared the winner of the day and Caesar was sent home. I thought for sure he would make it to the end cuz his looks were brilliant. His only mistake was, on other challenges, to listen too much to the stupid client.

Top Chef Allstars had it's restaurant wars. For the quickfire, they were taken to Le Bernadin to watch a guy butcher fish. He made it look really easy. Then the chefs had to butcher the 2 fish (not easy ones either) in 10 minutes. The girls didn't do well w/ them all landing in the bottom w/ Fabio. Oh Fabio, you sadden me so. Then the top 4 chefs had to make a dish out of the fish scraps (bones, fins, heads and innards). Dale Talde is really impressive this season. He did the Asian thing and used a lot of different parts to make a great dish that probably could've fed the whole village. He won. One thing I notice, is. When Marcel gets fatigued, he gets more snarky and snide. Not flattering at all. Dale won immunity and was told to pick a person to lead the other team to make a restaurant. Oh boy! He made sure not to accidentally have Marcel on his team by making him the other team's leader. What a smart move. I don't understand how Carla was chosen last since she's been doing some awesome cooking. Dale lucked out w/ being able to have Richard Blaise and Fabio on his team. While Marcel's team (restaurant Etch) had trouble coming together and refining each other's dishes and service, Dale's team (restaurant Bodega) worked like a well oiled machine. They did pop-up restaurants which in kind of like eating in your neighbors back yard for a couple of weeks. It's very cost effective because restaurants usually do a lot of business at the very beginning and there's very low overhead. Kind of like having a food truck parked in your neighborhood for a period of time but you can sit down to eat. Anyway, Fabio was the perfect host and did a great job managing front of the house staff and logistics, mediating between front of the house and Dale about to blow his stack, and also made a great dessert. I thought he'd pull out the win for sure. Meanwhile, on Marcel's team, Tiffany was maniacally laughing in the front of the house, being very fake and the customers could tell something was up. The food fell below the mark cuz nobody was in the mood to take criticism so nobody tasted each other's dishes. I did notice Richard hopping across the barrier and tasting the food in Bodega's kitchen. They needed to critique each other's food. Lay off the salt, lay off the foam, that egg not only looks terrible but tastes bad too. At least that's what the judges said. So team Bodega was called in to the judges first and you could see Richard Blaise's face fall w/ disappointment. Yeah, Bodega was told they were the losers and I loved the change in their faces. They first stood there w/ confident smirks on their faces and when the announcement was made, it changed to angry and accusatory. They all laid into Marcel and you have to admit, he was a very poor leader cuz nobody had any respect for him. Then they went back and told Dale's team they had won. You could see, Fabio was the only one who hadn't crapped his pants during the wait. The team named Richard the technical advisor and he was declared the winner. Okay. I have a feeling there was some footage we didn't see cuz Richard didn't seem that impressive to me. Cocky Marcel was sent home and that's that for the 2nd season chefs.

Finally, on The Worst Cooks in America, the chefs were first challenged to make burgers. OMG, how funny? They really did show who had a palate and who didn't. This time Georg won. Anytime you put a cheese core in the burger, it's good as long as you cook it well. The kicker was, the winning team was able to trade a cook from the other team. Pat was sent to the red team and Kelsey was taken to the blue team. Then the cooks had to replicate a dish again. Ann made lamb chops and Robert made duck. I can't believe they trusted the cooks w/ a mandolin and I'm surprised we didn't see anybody slice their hand. Even pro chefs do that. In the end, the dishes weren't as bad as usual. Carlos and Kelly won and 2 women were sent home. One was Erica. I loved her quote, "Who would ever invent a pan that wasn't nonstick?" Um...pioneers? ha ha ha.

Well, that's all. Check out some of the new shows. I have to say, America's over the decadent shows that show people w/ stupidly wasteful expensive stuff. We're also over stupid comedy disguised as clever: 30 Rock, The Office, Parks and Recreation. Really? We're supposed to believe joe schmos are wearing Prada, Gucci and Calvin Klein? Whatever.

Stay tuned and see ya next time!

Another week of TV.

2011-01-18T13:53:00.000-08:00

The awards and pageant shows are coming. I'm glad to see they're back on network TV stations. The fashion critiquing shows are able to go at full speed too. Yay!

Cake Boss: The Next Great Baker is down to 5 bakertestants. So what does the boss do? He brings back Joe the loudmouthed schlub who thinks he's all that but was brought to his knees by a little Italian spitfire. First the chefs had to do intricate piping. Some griped about it but Jay reveled in it. He won but everybody did a pretty good job; even Brian w/ his big old hammy hands. So the teams had to do wedding cakes and they turned out really beautiful. Then they were taken to a rooftop and dumped off. You could see all the stomachs of the bakertestants, turning over. OMG! All that work for nothing. Then they had to make another one in less time. Why is Joe on the show? He can't even get a support centered on a board, he can't decorate neatly and he can't make anything that looks like anything. He looks like he should be picking up garbage for the city. In the end, the team of Jay, Brian and Dana made a beautiful cake that Buddy didn't like the taste of. The team of Corina, Meagan and Joe made a leaning tower of Pisa kind of cake that tasted delicious. For a wedding, the look is important so the men won and the bride and groom did like the taste. What's wrong w/ almond flavor? Buddy realized Joe did suck after all, and sent him home. We thought it was going to be a double elimination but Buddy decided not to send anyone else home. Whew!

On The Fashion Show, the designers worked in their houses again. This time they had to make designs to go w/ old vintage accessories: a pig jewel encrusted purse, a huge feathery hat, chandelier earrings, a bustle, a neck ruffle, a loud belt, weird feather cuffed gloves and a huge brooch. Since they each got 2 things, they had to make 2 designs. This was the opportunity to go all out crazy. All the looks looked really good; even Dominique's weird humpback caped look. When Iman announced Calvin was staying, everybody was surprised; especially Calvin. For once, he was speechless. But his looks were good. The judges were tired of Eduardo making the same fantastic dress w/ a big ruffle embellishment and sent him home. Lesson? Don't make the same thing all of the time; no matter how cool it looks. Jeffrey was named the winner w/ Iman saying she wanted to wear his dress. That's the win clincher on any fashion type show.

I did watch the crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser. They're still competing as couples in teams but the twist this season is, there are unknown trainers working w/ the 3rd group and the main groups are trying to beat them all of the time. Please please, tell me this is the show's way of weaning people away from Bob and Jillian. I don't need weaning since I've been sick and tired of those 2 meatheads for the last 2 years. Anyway, the fatties are even fatter. One guy is over 600 pounds. They're still crying though. They seem to only have one challenge. Maybe the show can't afford the free gifts anymore. So the challenge was to get the team across a body of water by using floating foam things that they first had to gather together and link or something like that. The main team didn't have a leader and couldn't seem to get it together. The unknowns have Rulon Gould, who they respect as a leader and he does a good job. It also helps that they're not as fat either. Since the teams are not together to compete against each other, it just doesn't seem as exciting w/ Allison on the sidelines yelling, "You'd better get going!" the whole time. It's really hard to compete that way. That's why they have all the runners in a race run together. Anyway, the weigh-in is separate too. I wonder why? During the show, the teams taunt each other sending high calorie snacks and stuff. It's rather juvenile. The main team pulled out the win by losing the most. I have to admit, I didn't watch the rest because I really don't give a rat's ass who goes home at this point. The point is, someone went home and they were from the unknowns team. See them at the finale.

Top Chef Allstars had a fun episode. There was no quickfire. Instead, the cheftestants were split up into 4 teams of 3 and were put on boats to catch their own main ingredient. I would've LOL if someone had come up w/ a lobster or an octopus. One boat had a really slow start and I was wondering what was going to happen if they didn't catch anything but the producers had faith. Everybody caught something. I was also surprised nobody got seasick. Then the chefs shopped at a farmer's market so the whole thing was about fresh local food. They took their fish and had to feed people on a beach party setting. At least they didn't have to cook on campstoves or firepits. The team of Marcel, Blaise and Fabio decided to put all their eggs in one basket and do one dish. OMG, what a hot mess. They had too many ideas and threw them all into the dish: gelee, foam, succotash, broth, sauce (eek! make it stop!). When Chef Colicchio says, "Are you sure you want to do that?" They really should listen. Tiffany left her bloodline in the fish against advice. Anyway, the secret to the winning dishes was to have a simple concept and tweak it. Dale made fish tacos, Carla a bagels and smoked fish in lettuce wrap dish, and Antonia a po boy. The judges loved all of them. Jamie decided to use cucumber water in her dish. Really? Isn't that mostly what cucumber is and therefore, w/ not a lot of taste of it's own? So the winner of the day was Carla who won a trip to Amsterdam to go along w/ her trip to Italy. Finally, finally, finally Jamie was sent home. Everybody was good w/ that; even Jamie. Tiffany was sent home too. During this season, we see she's matured and mellowed and much more likeable. Maybe cuz she knocked off that black eyeliner too. We were sorry to see her go. Isn't that the way it is? Just when we start to like them, they're sent home. Bitch Queen, you've been redeemed. So that's it for season one. No one left standing from that team. Once again, Fabio was saved. He seems to be the iron hammer of the group.

The Miss America Pageant did it's thing which seems very early in the year. When did they change that? This time, they let America pick 2 contestants and the contestants pick 2. That's kind of dumb since those girls were eliminated after the very first round. You really think you know better than the first round judges who are experienced w/ this? Interestingly enough, one girl was really young at 17, another had alopecia so had an array of wigs. One thing I did like was they did kind of a pop-up trivia thing where they showed little bits of trivia during walks and performances. As usual, there were a lot of dogs but the judges had good taste and the cute girls made the top 11. In the end, the 17 yr old Miss Nebraska who couldn't seem to hold her neck up straight , won. Some of the talent was pretty stupid. What the hell kind of dancing was that? It looked like Pee Wee Herman in a dress. Also, we had another creepy ventriloquist. Anybody ever hear of a sock puppet? Oh well. At least the winner didn't do that elevator thing while they were putting on her crown like one year. BTW, Chris Harrison was the host and I hated him just as much here. He's so smarmy and fake. Brooke Burns was really annoying and just held everyone up w/ her stupid questions. I was waiting for one of the girls to say, "To hell w/ that stupid Miss Congeniality prize. Get the hell out of my face!"

The Golden Globes were on ABC and hosted by Ricky Gervais. OMG, he skewered all those inflated egos and some didn't like it. I was glad to see one overblown show or movie didn't win everything. When that happens, the night gets boring cuz they seem to thank the same people and rave about the same things. Sandra Bullock and Julianne Moore came out in the ugliest frocks I've ever seen. The Brits ruled the night either presenting or winning every other trophy. Who the hell gives a rat's butt what the head of Hollywood Foreign Press has to say? There was no in memorium. They rushed everybody in the beginning but let the presenters ramble later on. Terrible directing. Brad and Angie looked like they're in a rift. Brad looked disinterested and Angie looked like she's hanging on to him desperately. Ooh, I can't wait to see the fashion wrap ups.

On The Worst Cooks In America, the chefs first had to replicate sauces. Really? They expect these people who have a distinguishing palate? They can't cook and so have probably relied on take out, packages and sandwiches for most of their lives. it was hilarious. Winners were chosen and won nothing except a little pride. But how much pride can you have when they totally say it's not good and then say your's wasn't the worst? Then the chefs had to replicate a dish. Why are they making them clean shrimp? You can always buy cleaned and deveined shrimp. I think they totally do stuff to make the cooks cringe. The black guy on the blue team lollygagged around so much, he didn't even get the food on the plate. The other team made fish so that wasn't as bad. Then the cooks had to replicate another dish that was even more complicated. This time it was steak on the red team. Joshie finally got meat he could recognize and won for his team. I still crack up when the cooks either look surprised or really disappointed when their food is deemed not good. Jen cracks me up the most. Her palate must not be too good either. In the end, the black middle aged housewife was sent home and the smart guy from the blue team who was doing really good. Everybody was surprised at that one. The redheaded girl is still continuing to burn her food. It's all so hilarious.

Well, that's about it. More shows are coming on. See ya next time!

Back to Reality

2011-01-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

Well, the holidays are over and the shows are back.

The Cake Boss: Next Great Baker challenged his contestants to make a birthday cake for his 6 year old son. First they had a challenge where they had to decorate a cake w/ fondant and include a bow. I'm not sure what the point of the challenge was because I couldn't really see a prize. The southern white milquetoast guy won. Then Buddy brought the judges. They happen to be family. Buddy Jr. was brought in to tell what kind of cake he likes so the cakes had to be chocolate, vanilla and space themed. It turned out to be 2 teams. The teams took the space theme a little literal w/ planets and rockets. For some reason, I kind of thought more alien landscape but oh well. The goatee wearing doofus guy injured himself again but at least the moving parts of the cake he was responsible for worked. In the end, the team of Dana, the loud Italian girl and the goatee doofus guy won. Probably because the other team's cake fondant was falling apart. So in the end, the gay guy w/ the big glasses was sent home. Bye! I love the honesty of the judges. Dana's chocolate cake was deemed the worst cake ever. It was so bad the kid wouldn't eat it. But the cake still won. I'm not sure about that. Isn't this a baking competition? Oh well.

The Fashion Show was back. This time the designers had to work in teams of 2. The designers each pulled a ring out of a bag and whoever had matching rings, were a team. Everybody was praying they wouldn't have to work w/ that loud Philipino guy, Calvin. Poor Cindy, she got stuck w/ Calvin. The challenge was to make wedding looks for gay couples. Oh boy! So it's either 2 dresses or 2 suits. But not really. The lesbian couple wanted a suit for one and a mustard colored dress for the other. Aren't they supposed to be the brides? The other lesbian couple wanted beachy looks. Ohhh...kay. Finally, the gay couple wanted one suit and a Korean wedding gown look for a guy. Hmmm... Calvin was his old diplomatic self; not really. He and Cindy had the gay couple. Calvin managed to offend both guys. Okay, well on to the runway. Dominique won w/ her wrinkly yet cute wedding gown that was passable on a beach. Ceasar made some clown suit for his bride. I don't know why the judges didn't like it since that's what the lady wanted. Calvin and Cindy landed in the bottom due to the fact that Cindy couldn't make men's wear. It truly was a lumpy bumpy suit and really unflattering. So Calvin lives to see another runway show and Cindy was sent home. We get another show w/ Calvin driving everybody nuts. Cool!

On Top Chef Allstars, the quickfire started w/ Chef Colicchio racing around the kitchen and showing the cheftestants how to make a tasty dish in little over 8 minutes. I like that everybody got to taste it to prove it was done right and edible. Then they had to do the same. Somehow, Mike Isabella won. Maybe he's not such a dumbass after all. He not only won immunity, but also a brand new car. Then the chefs went to chinatown and were told they were to serve dim sum in a dim sum restaurant. Oh boy! I don't understand why the chefs had such a hard time shopping in a chinese store. Don't they know food stuffs by the way they look and smell? Have they never eaten in a Chinese restaurant? I couldn't believe the stuff they were planning on making: salads, long beans, rice dishes. Really? Dim Sum is like Chinese Tapas. Small varied finger foods like dumplings, shortribs, buns, and such. Sure they eat them w/ chopsticks but a one item pick up thing. Anyway, it was a disaster. Mike Isabella was the expediter since he had immunity. I expected lots of different dumplings and eggrolls and such but the chefs are so used to being pretentious, they were more into good plating instead of fast and furious food service. I was thinking, just put the food on a plate and get it out. Instead there was saucing and sprinkling: OMG. Colicchio ended up going to the kitchen and asking, "What the hell's going on here?" The chefs just looked at him like cats caught in headlights. Susur Lee was the guest judge. In the end, Dale T. was declared the winner w/ his sticky rice on a leaf dish. Really? Casey was sent home for her totally inedible chicken feet. Why do people do unfamiliar dishes in this kind of competition? She blamed it on the fact that someone else was supposed to finish her dish for her while she helped serve. That's dumb. First, she didn't need to cut the toenails off. I could see the feet had been thoroughly cleaned. That means they were blanched and the outer skin/scales were peeled off and the outer part of the toenail just pops off w/it. Then she could've flash fried the feet and braised them in a good sauce in a wok. All Antonia would've had to do was plop a couple on a plate and they're delicious. Oh well. I'm glad Casey was sent home. She always has that prom queen snootiness about her that says, "I'm cute. Everybody loves me and I can't do any wrong." Whatever. Goodbye. I'm so glad to see Fabio has pulled his finger out and is appearing in the top these days.

This is a really good season of Worst Cooks in America. The cooks were sent to a farm. I loved that they were shaking in their shoes thinking they might have to kill and clean an animal. Nope, they were taught to make omelets. OMG, these poor cooks. Why are they making them do such complicated stuff? These people either are really unfamiliar w/ kitchen and cooking stuff or disasters in the kitchen. So of course, there were a lot of overdone brown omelets. One cook hated eggs and I can totally relate. How do you judge whether something is good if you can't stand it in the first place? At least we got to see every dish being tasted. I love Robert Irvine. When something's really bad, he actually makes gagging noises and it's the funniest thing ever. Funny enough, the 2 worst cooks from last week won this challenge. What did they win? Nothing but a prideful moment. For the elimination, the cooks had to replicate a dish after being shown how to make it. Everybody took notes but the notebooks were taken away. Boy were the cooks lost. They didn't know how much, how hot, how long, how big anything had to be. It's obvious, they still don't know the rules of cooking and are being taught dishes that are way too complicated for them. I like that one cook left out the thyme and Robert Irvine could totally tell. After tasting a burnt dish, Anne said, "I've never had such a burner." Hee hee, yep, these truly are bad cooks. In the end, 2 guys were sent home. They happened to be the student and the engineer.

On Sarah Palin's Alaska, Sarah took her daughter and went logging. I love watching her try all this stuff. She's very gung ho, cheerful and optimistic. She gives a lot of positive reinforcement saying, "That was good Piper." A lot. Also, when things seem to go a little wonky, she never seems to panic and takes everything w/ good humour. Maybe that is a good sign of a leader. I just wouldn't be able to stand hearing that chipper voice coming from the oval office. I'm not sure what else there is to do in Alaska besides smoking meat and carving totems. Maybe she'll do that too. We'll see.

Well, that's it for this week. New shows are coming. The crying fatties aka, The Biggest Loser is back but I don't think I'll watch it until they get new trainers. It's just the same old show w/ different fatties. Showtime is coming out w/ 2 new shows.

See ya next time!

It's a new year!

2011-01-03T02:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the new seasons haven't really started yet but that's the way it goes. I loved the holiday season. I watched about 10 different versions of A Christmas Carol including the Dr. Who one. Even though you know the cranky guy is going to be nice at the end, it's still fun to see. I never get tired of the Muppet Christmas Carol either. I think I've watched it every year. The funniest part? Michael Caine is the worst singer in the show.

The shows all took a break so there's not much to write about.

Sarah Palin's Alaska is really fun to watch. She shows the great things to do in Alaska and things to see like panning for gold, dog sledding, salmon fishing and just seeing all of the wildlife. It is during the summer. The winter activities probably aren't as much fun since they're pretty much just surviving the cold and snowshoeing. Still, I love Sarah's upbeat attitude when trying anything. She's very gung ho and not wussy at all. She is overcoming her airhead status w/ me. The kids crack me up because they treat everything as kind of ho hum. I'm sure this isn't the first time they've done these activities and they're more honest about it. I also like seeing Sarah trying to curb the boy activity w/ Piper. I'm thinking she probably doesn't want her to get knocked up too. I'm always surprised how the time flies when watching this show.

Sister Wives is very interesting. They've gotten a new wife added to the family and we got to see the process. Cody is kind of airheaded and keeps putting his foot in his mouth. He's seems to be the giddy twitterpated one of the relationship. Meanwhile, the other wives are caught between jealousy and wanting to be supportive. The first wife takes the whole thing the best. The wife who just had the new baby takes the whole thing the worst. The kids seem to be okay w/ everything and even like the idea of having step siblings. Robin is subdued because she doesn't want to step on any toes and wants to be accepted well by the other wives. There's a lot of comparing one wedding to another. I'm wondering if the money from doing the show has made Cody feel free and generous.

The Cake Boss's baking competition has been fun to watch. Last week, the teams had to make Christmas cakes. First, for the quick challenge, the bakers had to decorate a cake in about 15 minutes. Buddy went ahead and demonstrated and did his cake in 5 just to show how easy it is. I think that tall white chick won. For the elimination challenge, it was men vs. women except Greggy was on the men's team. Dana impressed everyone by doing all of the intricate work. The teams also had to do a traditional Italian dinner for the bakery's employees for the holidays. Dana did 3 dishes and Corina did 1. The women bickered and turned out a huge sagging fireplace cake. The men worked well together and made a winter wonderland tree cake complete w/ blown sugar ornaments. That Chinese chick is like a lot of Asians. She thinks she's smarter and therefore superior and is difficult to lead. She also does not work well w/ others. I was impressed that the only guy who helped the ladies move their heavy cake to the table was Dana. What a nice guy and it makes people less likely to stab him in the back. So anyway, the men won and that homely white chick was sent home. This week, for the quick challenge,the bakers had 3 baking skills they had to do quickly: crack a dozen eggs, roll out a pie shell, and then make a fondant rose. That tall white chick came out of nowhere and won. She was able to pick the teams for the elimination challenge. As was expected, she picked all the skilled bakers and people who got along well to be on her team. Funny enough, it turned out to be all the guys except Greggy. Then Buddy told her she had to switch teams. Har har! You could see her say, "Oh shit." Through her stiff smile. The teams had to do a special effect cake. Somehow this meant explosions to everybody. Buddy brought out 2 of the most grody looking guys to introduce the challenge. They looked like hippie tokers. Once again, Corina and the Chinese chick bickered. The airbrush motor fell on the foot of that tall white chick and she ended up going to the hospital. The chinese chick and that chubby white guy bragged they were so good at special effects and fireworks. Oh hello, grain alcohol is never a good explosive cuz it burns too quickly and doesn't make a flame you can really see too well. In the end both cakes were duds. I LOL. Then they blew up both cakes to show their disgust. The men were told their's was the best of the 2 crappy cakes. That chinese girl was sent home for not being a very good team player. Yay!

The Worst Cooks In America had it's first show. This time it's Robert Irvine w/ Anne Burrell. I think they should call it The Scariest Cooks in America. One chick said she gave her husband food poisoning twice. One chick said everytime she goes into the kitchen she sets something on fire. Oh boy! I love when Robert and Anne tasted someone's food and gagged. Some people would look so hurt and surprised. I think this time people were shanghaied and brought in by their friends or families. That's hilarious. That one middle aged lady looked really hurt and I feel so sorry for her family who had to gag her food down all their lives. I know how they feel. So they chose 16 as the worst of the worst and brought them to New York. Then they each had to make a dish from scratch. One good rule is to never use canned anything. Professional chefs hate canned food. One girl made everyone cough w/ her peppery smoke. I like that there are more straight guys on the show. So after tasting the dishes which ranged from totally gross to not too bad, Robert and Anne picked people to be on each other's teams. Anne got both middle aged ladies and that airheaded blonde on her team. Robert got the very enthusiastic people on his team. Then Robert and Anne demonstrated a chicken dish. Why are they making beginner cooks cut up a chicken when stores will sell you chicken parts? Why are they having beginner cooks cook w/ alcohol? So then the cooks had to replicate the dishes. Yep, some of the butchering was a disaster and there were 2 fires. Some of the cooks showed they had some potential and just need a little direction. Some showed they didn't have a clue. Some showed they didn't have a palate and some showed they were a disaster waiting to happen. For the first episode, they should've really extended the show to more than an hour because the editing was very choppy and we didn't get to see Robert and Anne do all the tasting which is actually the most fun to watch. Since there's always a double elimination until the teams become 1 group, next week's show will be shorter w/ less cooks. In the end, the Asian newlywed chick and the white guy bar owner were sent home. I kind of feel sorry for the bar owner guy cuz he wanted to learn to cook to make food in his bar to probably save money. He'll have to invest in cooking classes now.

I recommend watching Conan O'Brien's new late show on TBS. He's even more quirky and funny. Since he's on cable, he feels comfortable doing whatever he likes and we like that. He also has impressive guests and is free to have whoever he wants on because he doesn't have to worry that they're on a competing network. If you're going to watch a late show on a network, I always love Craig Furguson. He has that cute Scottish accent and he's funnier than heck. For the morning shows, avoid the Today show. Meredith Viera is the dumbest and most annoying thing on legs since Kathie Lee Gifford. Oh, she's on the mid morning show. Yikes! I guess NBC likes their morning hosts airheaded. Gifford tries to act 30 when we all know she's 60. It only makes her seem like she has dementia. I hope poor Hoda gets a lot of money for putting up w/ her every weekday.

The new seasons are starting this week and the running shows will be back too. Good thing, I'm really missing Raising Hope.

See you next time.

Stop The Madness! Oh, They Already Did.

2010-12-20T22:03:00.000-08:00

Well, reality tv season is coming to an end but we always know more's on the horizone.

I love Skating With the Stars. These people are tough. They get run over, get dropped, go splat, fall flat and contract stomach flu and just keep going. I'm impressed. Last week, it was revealed that even though the disney guy didn't even compete, he still won the most call-in votes from the last week. He tried to do the practices but looked like death warmed over the whole time. He finally bowed out and we're left w/ 3: Johnny Mosely, Rebecca Buddig and that dumb New York housewife. I miss Vince Neal. For a rock star, he was really humble and low key and really did try his hardest. I'm also impressed that the pro ladies let the guys pick them up while on skates. I could really do w/out Tanith Belbin promoting her stuff all of the time. I still love Dick Button and will be sorry to see the show end so soon. As for Johnny Weir-d, he makes the show...colorful.

On The Fashion Show, the teams had to make gowns for the Housewives. Ugh. I really didn't need to see these bimbos on another show. I loved the designers gawking at the women, like kids at a zoo watching monkeys groom each other. There's a combination of interest and disgust. Anyway, the House of Emerald got to choose their housewives first. They chose the Orange County and the House of Nami got the one's from New Jersey. Oh boy! The looks were interesting. One housewife didn't like her high neckline and the designer finally cut it so low it was scandalous and no longer fashionable. The Jersey women bickered. Calvin gave everybody hell. After 10 minutes w/ the women, he was totally over them. Anyway, the judges proved the women had no taste because they hated the dresses the women loved and the one woman who let her designer do his thing; that designer won. The House of Nami won. Unfortunately, the House of Emerald chose really drab colors. Yes, champagne is a drab color. Finally, Golnessa was sent home. She hasn't put out a good dress yet and I doubt she ever will. Maybe she can't see with those fish eyes she has.

Survivor had it's final week and just went all out w/ the last 6 contestants. You can't have a season w/out bringing family members. The survivors had a luxury challenge that involved them retrieving bags of puzzle pieces then their family members had to put the puzzle together. Chase's mother won. Once again, Chase had promised to take someone on the prize and he didn't. Whatever. The prize was to eat lunch on a boat. Nobody really cared where it went. The family members didn't seem to eat. Actually, they didn't even sit at the lunch table but when the other people at the table look and smell like cave people. Can you blame them? Back at camp, Judd (aka Fabio), Jane and Dan commiserated w/ Judd actually crying. Jane didn't say much, but you could see the steam rising off of her head. Surprisingly, Judd wins the immunity challenge that involves putting a puzzle together. Afterward, it seems Chase is in the kowtowing mood and goes to Judd. He asks who he wants to vote out and Judd wants Jane out. Now I'm seeing that Judd's not as dumb as he looks. Chase at least tells Jane she's under the gun. Before heading off to tribal council, Jane pours water on the fire which makes me LOL for a full 5 minutes. At tribal, Jane lets everybody (verbally) have it right between the eyes. Good thing she wasn't packing heat. Unfortunately, words won't save you and she was booted out. On Sunday, they did the finale. The final 5 don't get luxury challenges anymore. Judd wins the immunity again and this time, Dan's voted out. We all saw that coming. Nobody knows how to strategize to split the votes. Jeez. Finally, down to the final four and the final immunity challenge is balancing wonky coins on the end of a sword. Can they get any more hokey than that? Judd wins once more. Finally, a redeeming character and I don't hate him as much as I used to. All the other 3 are scrambling. Sash (what a gay name) lies through his chiclet teeth. Chase does his dimbulb redneck act and Holly's peeing her pants. It becomes an all male showdown when Holly is voted out. Finally the Jury gets to speak and the only one worth listening to was Jane. She let'em all have it. I like old women w/ spunk and she's got a lot of it. All I'm really grateful for is, I don't have to listen to Probst. Then they vote and Probst says some dumb thing and makes a big show about carrying off the vote jar to L.A. Whatever! In the studio, at least they don't try to fool us into thinking it's the same time by having the people wear similar clothes. Everybody looks healthier. Probst reads the votes and Judd wins. Yay! All I'm glad of is, Sash didn't get any. Then the rest of the survivors come in and I don't know why. They wasted all kinds of time letting honker speak and Chase strum his dumb gee-tar and spent exactly 3 minutes asking a couple questions of just a couple of the other booted survivors? Really? If I were one of those people, I'd say, "You dragged me all the way here for this?" At least we don't have to see them again. Next season promises to have a new twist to the game. I'm intrigued.

Top Chef: Allstars had a new twist on the mis en place relay. 4 teams of 4 had to prep 3 items. The first team to finish the prep hit a button that started the 15 minute clock and then had to make a dish with the prepped ingredients. As the clock ticked, the other teams had to keep working to finish their prep and then make their dish in the remaining time. I loved the reminiscing of past relay races. Remember Casey taking all day to chop her onions? Wow! I was impressed that even though the team of Angelo, Fabio, Mike I and Spike won the relay, they still didn't win the best dish and the prize of 5K each. Richard Blaise's team won. I really do think he's the one to beat this season as long as he can hold it together to the end. For the elimination, the teams each ate at a cool restaurant and then each chef had to make a dish inspired by that restaurant that would be deemed good enough to be put on the menu. Marcel's team ate at Wylie Dufresne's restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win but he didn't. Stephen ate at that high end Italian restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win but he didn't. Angelo's team ate at an Asian fusion restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win, but he didn't. Hmmm...are we seeing a pattern here? In the end, Hot head Asian Dale won over Wylie Dufresne with his egg dumpling dish that looked like a real sunny side up egg. The judges also said the broth tasted like buttered toast. Wow! This was a double elimination week. I think the producers figured somebody would either quit, get sick or punch someone by now but that didn't happen so they had to get rid of 2 people this week. Unfortunately, it was gay Dale and even gayer Stephen. Bye guys! See you at the reunion.

The Challenge: Cutthroat showed the last gulag and unfortunately, Derek lost. The bright side? Paula lost too. Whoo hoo! Bye bye horseface girl. The final challenge was of course the teams having to complete different tasks. Someone poisoned the grey team because all of a sudden Abe and Sara were puking their guts out. Abe was so dehydrated and electrolyte depleted, he babbled nonsense and couldn't sit up. Both ended up being driven away in ambulances. I'm sure if the grey team had been ahead of everybody, the producers would've made a big deal of not having the whole team together. The red team stayed in the lead the whole time. It was great to see Tori and Brad finally win a challenge for once. I was also glad to see Jenn didn't win and actually came in last. Sigh, there is justice in the world. See you guys next season!

The Cake Boss's baking contest is fun to watch. For the mini challenge, the bakers had to make cupcakes. I wasn't surprised the 2 ladies won who made cupcakes last week. I learned there's more to carrot cake than just putting carrots in the cake. Hmmm... For the elimination, the bakers had to work in teams. There were 3 teams. The theme was the Monopoly board game. The cake had to be at least 3 feet high and they had 11 hours to make it. That's really nice since on the Food Network Challenge, there's only 2 people and 8 hours. On the Ultimate Cake Off, there are teams of 4 but the cakes have to be 5 feet high and they get 8 hours. So anyway, I loved that feisty italian girl cuz that fat brooklyn guy was getting on my nerves too and I didn't have to work w/ him. I hate people who want to make up by just hugging it out. I'm usually thinking, get away from me before I poke your eyes out. The one team made a great cake but hit a snag when it wouldn't fit through the door. How funny is that? I was impressed that they could totally tip their cake and have it stay together. It was a bit creepy w/ the head coming out of the money bag. Anyway, they won and that fat annoying Brooklyn guy was given the option to quit and he did. I think he was going to get the boot anyway and he knew it.

One thing I love about Sarah Palin's Alaska is, she does the things that Alaskans do. They fish, eat off the land, camp out, row boats and generally love nature. Unfortunately, Kate Gosselin and her brood showed up. The bratty bunch was supposed to go camping with the Palins. I have to say, Mrs. Palin is always positive and upbeat. I kind of like that because really, if you try, you can accomplish anything. I hate Kate Gosselin more than ever. She was the biggest sourpuss party pooper I've ever seen. I didn't know if she was on the rag or showing her true colors. I've never thought of her as much fun but man, she was a total Debbie downer. She bitched about everything and anything the whole time she was in Alaska. I'll be surprised if her kids end up as normal adults. The kids took things really well eating the moose sausages, gathering firewood and making smores. The only one not enjoying the outdoorsy activities was Kate and actually, nobody enjoys her anyway. Earlier in the show, they were learning to shoot guns to scare bears away. She said she's shoot a bear to protect her children. I think the kids would be better off shooting her and going off with the bear. The best thing Kate did? She made Sarah Palin seem even cooler than ever. Maybe that's the lesson. It doesn't matter how cool you are. You just have to be cooler than the guy next to you.

Well, that's it for this week. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Quanzah or whatever you're celebrating. Have a great one! See you next time!

Thank God It's Almost Xmas!

2010-12-13T16:26:00.000-08:00

The shows are pretty much wrapping up their season because they know that they'll have to take a long break due to Xmas shows and New Year's shows and stuff. They're afraid viewers won't remember them.

The Fashion Show missed this week. I'm not sure why cuz there's no sports on Bravo unless you count the pulling of hair and flipping of tables done by those stupid housewives.

Survivor players were in shock after the girls quit the game. There was a huge boring scene w/ the people sitting around their campfire contemplating their next stupid move. God I hate these people. So now Sash knows he's the swing vote. I don't know why he's smiling so much. Most of the time the swing vote guy is voted out since nobody trusts him. For the luxury challenge, the players had to do a series of rehashed things. Long story short; Chase won. He had previously promised Sash he'd take him on the prize if he won. So who did he pick? Holly and Jane; Doh! Something tells me Sash made some stupid promise like, "I'll never write your name down." to Chase. The luxury prize was a shower, food and pampering. Not necessarily in that order. For some odd reason, I always hate to see people eat when they're all muddy and dirty. I guess I'd better never go to a 3rd world country. Back at camp, the guys are trying to make a game plan and doing a poor job of it. The immunity challenge consists of unwrapping a rope from a giant log while being tied to the rope at the same time. Then the top 3 finishers had to do a coins in piles puzzle. Y'know, like those connected bricks. When the 3 were Benry, Fabio and Sash, I expected it to take all day but w/ some clever editing, Sash won. Just once, I'd like the players to yell, "Shut the F___ up!" to Probst giving play by play on the sidelines. Who can think w/ that dumbass shouting every second? Okay, so back at camp, everybody is congregating in different small groups. It's obvious, the guys, except for Chase, are willing to vote for anybody. Confucious say, "Those who try to stay in the middle of the road eventually get run over." At tribal council, I totally LOL when Probst announced nayhonker and kelly as "the quitters". Way to shove it in their faces Probst. For once, I like you this season. There was a lot of stupid blah blah blah at tribal and Benry was booted. And another dumb survivor bites the dust.

Top Chef: All Stars had a Museum of Natural History theme. First the chefs had to make a paper bag midnight snack for kids who were going to do an overnighter at the museum. Joe Jonas appeared to lend some cuteness to the show. The chefs pretty much used up all the sugar for their snacks. I don't understand why nobody made party mix or popcorn balls or something crunchy like that. Not all kids like sugar. Anyway, it was determined Tiffany F. and Spike made the best snacks but the job wasn't done. Then they did a schoolyard pick to choose teams to make their snacks so the kids could decide which they liked between the 2. I still don't understand how you cook marshmallow w/ liquid nitrogen. Hmmmm... At the museum, the kids went berzerk w/ all the sugar but they were still able to decide that Tiffany's snack ruled the day. Then for the elimination challenge, Chef Colicchio told Tiff and Spike that the teams would cook dishes w/ ingredients that a brontosaurus or a tyrranosaurus would eat. In other words, either all vegetarian or all carnivorous. Tiffany got first choice and chose tyrannosaurus. I thought that was a bad decision because only meat, eggs and cheese is very limiting but it was to be breakfast so maybe not that bad. Whereas, w/ vegetarian, you can make hot cereals, cold cereals, pancakes, biscuits, nutbutters, compotes and salads. Anyway, obviously, Tiffany didn't know the meaning of carnivore nor what a tyrannosaurus ate. Geez. I thought for sure someone would fry up pigskin for a crunchy crust thing. But then again, the chefs only got 45 minutes of sleep so probably weren't thinking so well. It was interesting that Tiffany's team consisted of all women except one guy (Dale the nice one) and Spike's was all male except one woman (Carla). Jamie cut her finger a little bit and went to hospital to get 2 stitches. Whatever. In the end, Tiff's team had only 1 good dish out of 4 and Spike's had only 1 bad dish out of 4. I found it really interesting that Marcel, Richard and Angelo did one dish together. Wow! Talk about too many cooks, and the best ones too. In the end Spike's team won and Marcel, Angelo and Richard's fruit salad thing was deemed the best. In front of the judges, Jennifer came out fighting but no matter how much she loved her dish and thought it was seasoned perfectly, the judges begged to differ and she was booted. Personally, I thought Jamie should've been booted since she didn't hardly do anything. Jen didn't take it well. I guess when you're called an allstar, your ego gets wayyyyy bigger.

Hell's Kitchen had a double elimination. First the chefs had to do a fusion dish. They started by choosing 2 flags randomly. One pairing didn't sound so bad together: Greek and Italian. But the other's were hilarious: French and Indian, Thai and something white and Mexican and Chinese. Jillian pulled her finger out and won the taste test by fusion cuisine judges. She was treated to dinner at Spago w/ her family. Oh boy! What kind of putz faced idiots are these people who are satisfied w/ that? Like she can't have dinner w/ her family everyday of the week. Not only that, I hate eating w/ children at the table. May as well have monkeys flinging poop. So at dinner service, it was the time for the chefs to work the pass. They got their opportunity to yell at their fellow chefs and for Ramsey to try to pull a fast one on them. Russell was the only chef to notice the intentional mistake. I loved Chef Scott saying, "Really? Those aren't walnuts?" Oh puh-leeze. I LOL at that one. You're no actor Scott. Trevor did notice the fish wasn't right but not until Ramsay pointed it out first. So on to the ending. Trevor was booted and Jillian was sent home to eat dinner w/ her family for the rest of her life. But she did get to keep her coat. I hope Nona wins the show.

The Challenge: Cutthroat had it's last challenge. We saw that nobody really beat CT last week but that blonde gay guy from the red team lasted longer than Johnny bananas so bananas skidded home. Both girls beat Tina but Tori won in a shorter time so Teresa was sent home. So on to the challenge. Blue team of 3 approached Sara and Laurel to throw the challenge so they would win and not have to go to the gulag. The challenge turned out to be a king of the hill kind of game w/ the girls going first. Laurel was being a little obvious in trying to be lame. She's like an amazon towering over everybody and just standing back shifting her weight from side to side. Meanwhile, Tori was mobbed first and the beauty queen ended up off the hill and w/ a bloody nose. hee hee hee. Anyway, Laurel couldn't seem lame to her team because she knows she doesn't have the majority on her side. Sara seems to be the coattail rider this season. In the end, the grey girls won. Then the guys went up and poor Derek had no chance but boy he gave it a good try. In the end, Brad won. Then one person from the grey team and one from the red team had to go against each other. Abe tromped Brad so Grey won the day. There was a lot of drama from Paula when Dumbar voted her into the gulag. Your turn girl. Suck it up! That blonde gay guy was voted in again. On the blue team Derek was the shoe in since he's the only guy left and Emily was voted in. I guess Jen is the coattail rider on that team. Gee, and I thought lezbos were supposed to be tough. So we'll see who wins their gulag and which team will win the whole thing.

The Apprentice final 2 finished their tasks. I though Brandy's golf tournament was kind of disorganized and they had really dumb prizes that the winners didn't even take w/ them. Instead of a whole set of golf clubs valued at $500, why not have one club worth $500? Anyway, I wasn't too impressed w/ the celeb dinner being a buffet thing. Really? Rich people like to be served and not stand in line for food. Poor Kathy Griffin truly seemed like a D list celebrity. I wondered how long Liza Minelli's hip would hold out. So anyway, I have to say, this was the most anticlimactic boring ending I've ever seen in the history of the Apprentice. Usually, when the winner is announced, the lights come up and the wall comes down to show the boardroom is a podium set, all the contestants are there and friends and family w/ a large audience are there to congratulate the winner. Then the winner gets to choose their job and then drive off in a new car. Was there any of that? Nope, not a bit. Trump said, "Clint you're fired and Brandy you're hired." Then Clint went off on the elevator while Brandy skipped to the apartment to be greeted by the 6 people from the 2 teams. Wow! Boring! But then again, it's as much as Brandy deserved. Boring ending for a boring person. Hello world! Trump just added a blonde bimbo to his employee list.

The Cake Boss has a baking competition he's putting on. It's kind of fun. I swear, I've seen these people somewhere before. So the first task was to make a signature dessert. I learned baking takes a long time so in the time crunch, they didn't do too well. I also learned when a person says, "I could really use a glass of milk." while tasting a cake; it's not a good thing. So that mafioso guy won and that gay guy was in tears. For the elimination, the chefs had to make a cake for any kind of celebration. The chinese lady made one hot mess of a gold and red cake. Her fortune cookie looked like a placenta. Ew. This time the gay guy had enough time and won w/ his sweet 16 cake. The mafioso guy made the worst cake but had immunity. I love Buddy's sister. She's blunt and doesn't smile. The black lady who made the sheet cake was sent home. Yeah, if you're going to try to be impressive as a cake maker, don't do a sheet cake.

The Amazing Race had it's finale and it was terrific! The teams went back to the USA. I love when you're not really rooting for someone to win but for someone not to win. I didn't care who won, I just didn't want Jill and Thomas to win. They're snobby and think they're all that. He's an ass and she's as boring as Kansas. When the teams landed in Long Beach, California, Jill and Thomas happened to get a cabbie who didn't speak very good english. Let the hilarity ensue. First the teams had to do a bunjee jump off of a pier crane. Then they had to ID the pitstop greeters on a huge screen. I loved Bob Eubanks greeting everyone. He really does have a ton of charisma. Nat and Kat hit all the tasks first. Brook and Clair just about turned themselves inside out w/ excitement when they met Eubanks and when they said, "We're your biggest fans!" he replied, "And I'm your's." Yeah, right. I could tell he didn't know those girls from Eve. Way to give a pat answer Bob! Anyway, while Jill and Thomas tried to find a computer to do a google search, Nat and Kat hit the finish mat followed by Brook and Clair. Yay! It was the first all girl team to win! Then they showed a preview of next season. OMG, I saw the globetrotters and Jet and Cord. I also saw a lot of this season's ousted teams. Oh yay. Really? We have to endure another season w/ that deaf dude and his hot headed mother? Yeesh. Well, I guess I'll tune in.

So that's it. I'd like to know why nobody has come up w/ an original Christmas tv show. They're just re-running all the old classics. Oh well. Next week should be really short. C U then people!!!

Did That Just Happen?

2010-12-07T06:04:00.000-08:00

WEll, we're back from Thanksgiving all fat and happy.

I Love Money had it's finale. Obviously, 6 Gauge was booted by Punisher last week. Boy, I'll bet he loved that. The final 4 money lovers had their last elimination challenge. It consisted of one person running to get an item and get it back into a basket while the others swung money bags at them. Brooklyn used the throwing technique and hit the others really good in the noggin. Hotwings was hit so hard she was knocked off of course completely. Punisher always thinks he's the best at everything and was surprised to find Brooklyn ran the gauntlet faster than he did. Hee hee hee. Go Brooklyn. Then they had their last dinner. Everybody pleaded their case to Brooklyn since Brooklyn was Paymaster and everybody else was up for elimination. Mindy was matter of fact. Hotwings literally told a sob story and openly wept while everybody else remained dry eyed. Punisher tried to make a case for himself but had no leg to stand on. He's wealthy and a good competitor. I recall last week, Punisher telling everyone he could beat them all at anything. Mmmm...probably not a good thing to say if you're not sure you're going to be Paymaster the next week. I'm sure it was in the back of Brooklyn's mind too. We did see Brooklyn in thoughtful moments but hey, it's still an elimination game. He ended up booting Punisher and needless to say, Punisher wasn't good w/ it. This time, they didn't bring back the other players to whittle the group to the final 2. Good thing because most left mean and angry. On to the final challenge to determine the winner of the money. The final 3 had to do tasks which ended in putting a puzzle together. The maple syrup and feathers obstacle was very disappointing because nobody got covered in feathers. Darn it. Mindy had the best luck and won. Yay! Cuz I really think she deserved it. Of the 3, she was the least duplicitous.

Skating with the Stars is great. In the first place, the people are not beginner skaters. The pros are recognizable. There are only 6 stars: Rebecca Buddig, Johnny Moseley, Sean Young, Bethanny Frankel, Vince Neil and some young black dancer/DJ. Granted one is not that well known and a couple we'd rather not know. It's totally hilarious. There are hard falls and harsh critiques. The judges are totally legit: Dick Button, Johnny Weird errr...I mean Weir and a choreographer. Button worries about technique and lines, Weir looks for stardom and the choreographer looks for grace and musicality. I'm surprised at the things that are required so soon. Footwork and lifts and it's only the 2nd episode. Vince Neil fell once and Young fell twice but they both got up quickly with smiles on their faces and finished their numbers. Poor Vince, he's old and rickety. The pros consist of 2 national champs and Canadians. I think the guys are Canadians because they're pairs skaters but not well known. Most guy pros in good shape are on that Stars On Ice tour. Anyway, even though Sean Young didn't do the worst, America voted (I think) and she was booted. She took it well.

The Fashion Show's theme was retro inspired. The designers met Iman in front of a big metal vagina. Ew. They all got a box that had items from a style era: 60's, 80's, 40's, etc. Also, the boxes all had a swatch of plaid. Iman comes back to tell the designers that not only do they have to do a look inspired by the year they're given but they have to use plaid and get only 1 day. I started to laugh cuz 1 minute prior, one designer said how much he hated plaid. For some odd reason, the producers focused on the only straight guy flirting with his female teammate. That was way boring and stupid. What are we, in 8th grade? Cesar decided that 4 looks in his group was an unbalanced line-up so he made 2 looks. One looked kind of normal and the other looked like an elephant had lost a lot of weight and had a lot of extra skin. I was impressed that some designers made their own plaid. Coooool. That long haired young toker guy couldn't pull off his design and made one fugly potato sack looking dress. This time, House of Emerald pulled out the win. I'd like to know, what was with all the grey and blah colors? Oh well. Anyway, the gay black guy won and the young long haired toker was booted. Bye! Personally, I think Mizrahi is being too kind to the designers because they're starting to not take him seriously. They should because if he says he kind of doesn't like it, Iman comes right out and says she hates it.

Survivor had a really surprising episode. Nahonker and purple Kelly decided they couldn't take anymore of the living in the elements, hunger and fatigue and decided to quit the game. Nobody was sorry to hear this from honker but they were, from Kelly. The producers never showed her complaining about the Survivor life so we had no clue. Not only that, we hardly knew her. She was like Maris on Frasier. The other survivors talked about her but we never saw her. I didn't even really know what she looked like until this episode. They didn't declare the intent to quit until just before the luxury challenge. So they took the producers by surprise. I don't know why cuz Honker had it in her head that morning. She talked it over with Chase and gave him her hidden immunity idol. Anyway, I know there was some editing done cuz Probst came right back w/ advice to think about the decision. They'd do the challenge and have a tribal council that night. The challenge consisted of splitting into 2 teams. Then the teams had to each drag a huge dummy (not Probst or a fellow player) through a obstacle course. Useless Dan was odd man out and chose a team to support. I'm thinking they did a playground choosing for teams thing, because each team consisted of 2 men and 2 women. Honker's team (Benry, Chase and Holly) won. After dragging the mannequin across the finish line, honker collapsed on top of it. I'm thinking that was the softest and dryest thing she's laid on for a long time. Probst then offered rice and a new tarp to anyone on the winning team who was willing to give up their prize. The rice and the tarp was for the whole survivor camp. Everyone looked to honker. She continued to lounge on the mannequin. I would've looked at Dan, since he didn't do anything to win the prize anyway. Finally, Holly volunteered. I groaned out loud. One reason I liked the show was the glee I felt watching these stupid people starve and freeze. Oh well. So then there was a huge push for the new Jack Black movie. In fact, they pushed it so much, I'm turned off to it and won't see it until it's free on TV. The luxury prize was to see the movie and eat cinema food. Back at camp, Holly is trying to get purple Kelly to stay by cheering, cajoling and bolstering which just makes Kelly do that turtle thing where you pull your head in so your neck's shorter. Tribal council is nice and rainy. I'm thinking, Hee hee hee. Anyway, honker and Kelly bow out. Probst shows his disdain and snuffs their torches. Bye losers! Never wanna see you later.

The Challenge: Cutthroat is down to about 5 people per team. The teams had to split into couples. The teams of 2 had to balance a ball and transport it on top of a big martini glass shaped frame. Unfortunately it was uphill and the frames were very tall. Nobody got it done except Abe and Laurel. The grey team won and Laurel verbally pushed Abe's face in for putting her in the last gulag. The grey team victory dinner was a little tense to say the least. I love Sarah. She states the obvious. "We're a team but face it, nobody really likes each other." So the blue and red teams had to do their choosing and it turned out to be Tori and that blonde gay guy for the red team and Dumbar and that one girl for the red team. Tori was resigned to go in but was mad that her young teammate had voted for her hubby Brad. Jeez, talk about a female wolf. So at the gulag, there was a new surprise. It was that wrestling kind of challenge to drag your opponent to your side to knock over your barrel. The real surprise was, they wouldn't be going against each other but against new people. OMG! It was Tina and CT. Two people who had previously been thrown off challenges for punching people. So did we get to see it? No, it's to be continued but I can guarantee. Tori and Dumbar are crapping their pants.

Top Chef has brought out it's Allstars. Each season is represented but not necessarily by the best people. There are a lot of runner-ups: Tiffany F., Richard, Marcel, Angelo, and Carla. There are some crappy ones: Mike Isabella, the dumb hat wearing guy who tried to sandbag his fellow chefs (Spike), the snooty sommelier (Steven), the dumb girl who shaved her head and kept being saved by fellow quitter chefs (Elia), that tattooed lesbian who loved scallops (Jamie)and that hot head Asian guy who made crostini into melba toast (Dale). Some we're happy to see though: Jen, Tiffany D., Antonia & Fabio. So anyway, they all get their minute to do a quick intro of themselves and say why they should've won their season. Whatever. For the quickfire, they worked in teams. Each season had to made a dish that represented the city where they had their competition. Some teams did one dish w/ all the chefs working together and other teams put individual stuff together. Chicago had the right idea for each chef to work on one thing but put it all together in one big dish. They won. For the elimination each chef had to redo the dish they were booted for in their season. I thought Steven had the biggest disadvantage. He was eliminated after restaurant wars and was front of the house. he didn't actually do any dishes so the dishes were somewhat unfamiliar. Also, his latest job is host. He called it hospitality something or other. Anyway, he's coming into the cooking competition quite rusty. The group was split into 2 and one group would cook while the other group would taste the dishes along w/ the judges. Just like in a past season, the chefs in the kitchen were able to see the tasting and critiquing via live television. Hee hee. I have to say, they weren't shy. I laughed out loud when Anthony Bourdain said Fabio's pasta dish looked like an inside out animal. It really did. We found Richard was DQ'd for not stopping his plating when the time was up. Rules are rules dude. If they let him get by with it, everybody will start doing it. In the end, Angelo was declared the winner (of 10K too) and Elia was sent home. For her inintentional raw fish, I think they should've just had the other chefs come out and laugh in her face. She was from that lame bunch from season 2. The cheftestants seem more outspoken and less cowed by the judges this season. It should be a good one. I love Bourdain too w/ his snarky but very true comments. Too funny!

Hell's Kitchen had it's final 4. They first had to make an original dish to present to Ramsay. He was impressive; correctly indentifying the ingredients in each dish. He proved it can be done. Yeah, my Grandma could do it too. That just means he's wayyyy older than the cheftestants. Then the 4 competitors had to taste his dish and try to recreate it. I like that Chef Scott was actually doing the cooking while Ramsay told him what to do. So blah blah blah, Jillian got nothing right and Nona proved she does have the best palate and won. Trev was kind of impressive. He did get most of the stuff right but didn't get it on the plate. Maybe cuz he made twice the stuff. When he couldn't make up his mind between one ingredient or another, he made both. The prize was a spa day. She chose Russell to go w/ her. Huh? He's a total douchebag. After hearing him flirt w/ the massage therapists, I wanted to wash down w/ lysol. Double ick. Meanwhile, Jillian and Trev plotted Russell and Nona's death while cleaning and prepping the kitchen. That night at dinner service, everybody seemed to have their own problems except for Trev. Maybe that's because Ramsay kept taking over his station and telling him to take a breather. They did get the dinner service done but it wouldn't be Hell's Kitchen w/out Ramsay cursing and yelling a lot. Afterward, the 4 young chefs had to figure out 2 people up for elimination. Poor Trev, he never gets any love. Nona seemed to suffer amnesia and said, "I did nothing wrong." Ummm... I seem to remember one oversalted risotto and one raw risotto coming out of her apps area. Jillian seemed to be the only one who didn't make a mistake. So Trev and Russell were put up. As it turned out, nobody was eliminated. What? We have to endure another show? They'd better do a double elimination next week cuz I'm sick of these people already. It'll probably be a girl winning this season since a guy won last season. We'll see.

America's Next Top Model had it's finale too. Ann and Chelsey first had to do a couture photo shoot, then they had to do their commercial with the beauty shots after that and then the final runway show. Wow! That's a lot! Somewhere in that the families were brought in for a lot of crying and hugging. Ann wasn't too bad in the commercial but they made it more advantageous for her by doing a voice-over thing. She looked like a frightened deer in headlights in both photoshoots and her Runway walk looked like an emaciated Frankenstein's monster with heavy shoes. They also brought back the girls who had made it to Italy but were eliminated, to walk in the Cavalli show. I'm thinking, they just didn't want to have to pay that much. I always wonder if Tyra regrets eliminating someone once she sees them walking in the final runway show. So then the 2 girls are in front of the judges. They raved about Chelsey but Ann won. Huh???? I always suspect that Tyra chooses the winner during the first face to face auditions because most of the time, the final choice makes no sense. The only reason Adrienne won over that blond chick was because the blonde chick didn't do the nude photo shoot. Tyra liked Naima's funky spunk. She liked Eva's strong black image. Nicole was considered more couture. She wanted a plus sized girl to win one. Nicole was the tallest of the short girls. She liked that skinny long forehead look (like her as a kid) and she wanted a really dark girl to win once. I would say, Ann was the worst of all the winners but she did look high fashion cuz she's a walking clothes hanger. Well, so ends another season. She'd better never get rid of the Jays because they're the only reason some people watch the show.

The Apprentice is having it's finale. They started out with an immediate elimination where everybody got to diss everybody else but they didn't. Both Brandy (god what a ditzy name) and Lisa said their praises of Clint. We found Brandy has an impressive collegiate record. Lisa was fired for not working well w/ people. Then Clint and Brandy were given their tasks. Then their teams were brought in. The teams were already designated: Masa, Anan and Lisa on one and Stuart, Stephanie and Poppy on another. Poor Clint, he got stuck w/ Masa and Anan but he was clever by saying, "That's the team I wanted." At least he doesn't have to deal w/ Stephanie's ego. Unfortunately, he does have to deal w/ Masa's ego. I'm surprised they let cheater Anan back on the show. So Clint then got first choice of tasks and he chose the celeb charity dinner while Brandy got the celeb golf tournament. We learned Lisa was a member of the Kenyan Olympic golf team. Um...there's no golf in the olympics. I'm not sure if someone played a cruel joke on her or if she's stupidly lying. She did show some good golf game though. Trump was impressed. We got to see who the special celebs were. Liza Minelli and Kathy Griffin? That's not too impressive. Poor Trump is losing his shine with celebs. That's what he gets for calling one fat and stupid. Nobody respects name-calling. The real hilarity ensued at the end of the show. Trump asked that Lisa play in the tournament therefore basically taking her away from the task. Then we found Clint misspelled Minelli's name on everything from the posters to the napkins. Oh boy! I laughed so much I missed the teaser for the final show. It oughtta be good!

The New Iron Chef is doing a good job in his new role. I'm thinking the other iron chefs gave him some pointers because he did the iron chef thing of using the secret ingredient 3 different ways in the same dish.

The Amazing Race went to South Korea. The goth couple were so behind, they didn't catch the same flight as the other 3 teams and never were able to catch up. The teams had to drive north and then go whitewater rafting. The roadblock consisted of hunting for a matching headband on a bunch of soldiers going through exercises. For the Detour, they had to either speed skate or deliver ginseng roots. They all chose to speed skate. I love the way Brook somehow cajoles Clair into doing things she really can't do very well at all. It proves a person can do anything they really want to. We also realize Clair is the steady headed one of the couple. Unfortunately, Brook didn't give Clair a chance to think cuz they were supposed to walk or take the subway to the detour. Even though Brook and Clair hit the finish mat first, they got a 30 minute penalty for taking a cab. Jill and Thomas got first instead. They did pretty good since they seemed to get the cabbies and people who didn't speak any english. It wasn't a surprise at all that the goth couple came in last and were eliminated. Bye. I'm sick of hearing him promise not to be mean but still is. What an ass and she's dumber for taking it.

Well, that's all for this week. See you next time.

Too Much Turkey!

2010-11-29T11:49:00.000-08:00

Well, Thanksgiving is over. Some of the shows went along as usual and others took a break. It did give me a chance to catch up on The Big Bang Theory and it was soooo funny. I found, some shows are funny over and over even in re-runs. Others, not so much.

The Fashion Show had a challenge to make looks for femme fatales. Calvin is now in House of Iman and seems to get along w/ the people much better. Sometimes there's a chemistry that just doesn't work. You don't notice his bad accent when he doesn't speak so much. Cesar is in House of Emerald and they seem to be leaning on him a lot. House of Iman has a knack of choosing good material so even if their looks are kind of cheap, it doesn't show. The House of Emerald seemed to think femme fatale meant hooker look. Golnessa made the ugliest dress I've ever seen. In the end, House of Iman won again. The black girl in House of Emerald made a pants outfit that I thought was cute and looked like a modern femme fatale. The judges disagreed and sent her home. What do I know? I thought, at least, the judges would give her credit for making so many pieces in such a short time and the outfit fit the model like a glove. Oh well.

Hell's Kitchen is down to 5 chefs. For the luxury challenge, the chefs had to serve a dish out of lunch trucks to business people. Typical Californians. They chose the salad as the best dish for lunch. Russell made Octopus. Really? Most Americans only really like it if it's hidden under breading. So that oriental girl won and was treated to a makeover and she needed it. At dinner, the chefs seemed to regress. Jillian didn't know how to make scallops and asked, "How hard can they be?" Well, obviously, they're a little tricky because it took her at least 5 tries before she got it right. Then she didn't seem to know how to cook the fish right. Um...what week are we in? The 10th or so? The chefs were so discombobulated, they drove Chef Ramsey crazy and he had to leave the restaurant to decompress. Russell and Nona tried to run the pass but found, if your chefs aren't turning out adequate food, it's kind of tough. I admire them for keeping the standard high while Ramsey was AWOL. When Ramsey came back, the chefs had pulled their finger out and finished dinner service. That oriental girl had been kicked out for doing a sucky job at garnishes. In the end, she was also sent home. That shows. Just because you win the luxury challenge doesn't mean you're safe.

I quit watching the Biggest Loser after the season where the fatties became really cutthroat. The season w/ the father who kept saving himself and his son when they didn't really deserve it ticked me off. Then the next season, the butter-body bitches just really turned me off. Also, I'm so sick and tired of Bob and Jillian I can't take them anymore. I will, however, tell you how the show is going. The people are losing amazing amounts of weight. There's a lot of obvious advertisement going on and the person who's lost the least weight is probably still there cuz they're in an alliance. I guess they got makeovers last week. BFD, they do that every year and drag out all the sobbing. Ick.

On Dancing w/ the non-Stars, it was the finals and I'm guessing Jennifer Grey won. There it is. End of story.

Skating with the Stars is now on ABC and I can't wait to see it. I guess some of the stars are Bethenny Frankel (she's a star?), Vince Neil and others. I can't wait to see it because there's a lot more falling in this show and it's just so funny to watch the wobbling too.

Survivor had it's deleted scenes and recap show. Booooooring! The one thing I wanted to see was the reaction of the people who had won their picnic prize to come home and see all the burnt stuff. They didn't show that. Instead, they seemed to want to make Nyonka not seem so bad. Too late now. They also seemed to want to make people appear smarter and nicer. Too late! Instead, we now think the producers and director are dumber than a box of rocks.

America's Next Top Model was down to the final four. The girls and had a go see w/ the head of Vogue Italia. First the girls were given tips from Andre Leon Talley to make themselves better since they didn't do so well on their previous go sees. Ann tried to be more interesting but didn't quite pull it off but the lady loved her look. Yeah, cuz she's a walking hanger. Chelsea won. This girl really looks like a young Lauren Hutton. For the photo shoot, the girls had to do a weird moving thing that Tyra made into a fashion old world montage. I don't know why it was so much fashion when there were so many close ups. Whatever. Chelsea won that too. 2 girls were eliminated leaving Ann and Chelsea to fight it out in the finale. It oughtta be good. We'll see if Ann can keep from walking like Frankenstein.

The Apprentice was also down to the last 4. This week, Brandy was sent to work w/ Lisa so it's boys against girls again. I'm not so sure that was fair. The teams then had to sell Mizrahi products on QVC. None of the items were men's line either. That was not fair at all. I thought Clint did a really good job as PM but in the end, the economy bit them hard. People aren't impulse buying things over $100 anymore like they used to. I did love the scene at the negotiating table because they had to hammer out what products they'd get and who would go first. I hope Trump saw that and was as impressed as I was. They pretended they wanted 2 items (that they didn't really want) and one was wanted by the women. The watch seemed to be the thing in common. The guys then said, they'd give up the watch if they could have their choice of going 2nd. In the end, the men got exactly what they wanted and the women never really knew they had been duped. Unfortunately, even being brilliant won't always win the task and the men lost. I mean, come on. Who are you going to buy from? A woman who knows her stuff or a straight guy trying to sell a woman's item? I liked that Trump asked what education creds the guys had. Clint was really impressive. He has 2 degrees and one is law. You could see Trump sit up higher and look at Clint w/ more respect. So Stuart w/ his accounting degree was sent home. I'd like to know. How come Stuart's hair looks like Ace Ventura's? It was very distracting. I recently found out the show's not pulling in ratings. How come? These candidates are desperate for this job and are scrappers. I think people got tired of Trump and his previous 2 hour shows.

I've been watching the very short season of the auditions of The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Kelly and her co-owner are even tougher this year. I was getting tired of the same girls trying out and making it into camp. So far, those girls' hopes were dashed forever w/ Kelly telling them they'd never make it even if they tried out again. Good! Everytime they make it, they take the place of someone who's really good and could make it. The younger people are more nervous and so probably aren't very good at the initial audition. So bye bye to Rachel Buckmaster and Meagan Flaherty forever! I also like to see that there are no shoe-ins.

The Amazing Race went to Hong Kong. Even though Jill and Thomas had a huge lead, everybody ended up on the same flight. I don't know why Brooke and Claire had to ask them why they u-turned them. Well, duh. It's because they're afraid of how good you are. In Hong Kong, the roadblock involved trying to find a fake food on a huge buffet table of chinese food. There seemed to be a lot of sushi on the table. Really? I thought that was Japanese. Anyway, any food they touched that was real, they had to eat. Let the hilarity ensue. There were pulled faces and lots of puking. The clue asked, "Who's feeling peckish?" Now why would you think that had anything to do with Karaoke? I thought Claire was the smart one of that pair but I was wrong. The detour was interesting because the teams all had to hunt for specific things in the dark. In the end, the goth couple came in last, very late and with a 6 hour penalty. But...this was a non-elimination leg. Oh boy! Oh BTW, Nat and Kat came in first. These girl teams are rockin' this year.

I Love Money is down to 6 people. Punisher is acting like he's totally in control and well...he is. He has the dumbass majority on his side and he's the strongest and smartest of that group too. I loved the challenge. First the contestants were weighed, then they had to stuff as much food and liquid in themselves and see who gained the most percentage of their weight. Punisher was right to drink a lot of water. Not only does it weigh a lot but it goes through the stomach faster. The funny part was the money lovers jumping on the scale to weigh before they puked. OMG, some barely made it and then when one puked, it made the others want to puke. I thought it was totally funny. I think Brooklyn puked more than he ate, so he probably lost weight in the end ha ha ha. The other thing I loved was, the dead last loser was immediately sent home and it was Britannia. Yay! She was hiding behind Punisher long enough and sucks at everything. Punisher really milked his paymaster role too. Mindy stood up for herself in the vault and Punisher said he respected that. I did too. He got to choose who's checks went into the box and was gracious enough to give Mindy a break for once. At the outing, the group was supposed to be treated to massages but the guys and Hotwings ended up pampering Punisher. What a brat he was too; smacking his lips at Hotwings for food and holding his hands out to the guys to be massaged. In the end, I think Hotwings got the boot.

Okay, well, Top Chef Allstars will be here this week and I can't wait to see it. The holiday movies are in full swing and I'm loving that too. So keep watching and stay tuned. See ya next time people!

What a week!

2010-11-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's been another week of TV and it's been real.

The Fashion Show proved it's always got it's load of nuts. The 2 teams had to base their clothes on the human body. The House of Nami worked like a well oiled machine except for one guy who went completely bonkers. First he can't execute what he wants to do. Then he makes a dress so small it won't fit on his stick thin model. Then finally, he cuts up his dress and walks out the door, never to be seen again. Meanwhile, Cesar rounds up the troops and they make the guy's dress and it is spectacular. I find, last minute dresses actually turn out pretty good cuz the designers don't have time to overwork it. The House of Emerald Six dropped the six since they keep losing members. They work like a Vegas buffet. Lots of stuff that's good enough but not great and doesn't really go together. They were also supposed to make their clothes reversible. Now, I don't know what they think reversible means but turning a piece inside out and having it look the same isn't reversible. It's just inside out. Also, making a cape become a purse isn't reversible either. Anyway, The House of Nami were declared the winners again. This time, nobody was sent home because of the guy who quit. Unfortunately for the House of Nami, that loudmouthed philipino guy w/ poor taste has been sent to their team and Cesar went to the House of Emerald. Oh boy! I can't wait to see what happens next.

Dancing With the non-Stars had it's last episode before the finals. Bristol Palin proved horses and Frankenstein dance better than she does. So was she booted? No. Okay people, you're not supposed to be voting for the pros. Are the Mormons of Utah the only people voting? The rest of America is so sick and tired of this show, nobody really gives a crap about which star wins anyway. Yeah, I'll wait to see who wins, through the grapevine. Yo, producers. Just because you got a million votes doesn't mean that many people are watching. It's 1000 people using different phones and computers voting 10 times each and telling their friends who to vote for.

I love Money is down to a small group too. Unfortunately, Punisher's group is largest by one. The challenge consisted of the contestants making guesses as to how much the remaining players weigh all together, how many cases of beer fit into the hot tub, how many ounces of tequila are in a giant drink, etc. Punisher's luck is still holding and he won. The smaller loser group's worst scenario played out when Mindy was dead last loser in the game and they didn't get paymaster. Oh boy! The whole show became pretty predictable after that. The power outing was really boring to the players and the audience w/ some chick trying to teach the people how to braid. I love Hotwings saying, "This white lady is trying to teach a black girl how to braid?" Also, how come none of the outings takes place in an airconditioned place? So the whole small alliance landed in the box and I think Hotwings was sent home but it could be Cisco. VH1 can't seem to be on time and the end keeps getting cut off. We'll see who's left next week.

On Survivor, the players proved they're pretty brain dead at this point. It must be the lack of nutrition. Before the first challenge, it started to rain so they surrounded the fire with the wood crate and other wood to protect it. Really? The Luxury challenge consisted of 2 teams playing a game. The winners got to go on a helicopter, slide down a volcano on boards and then eat a picnic. Meanwhile, the real fun was watching the losing team return to camp to find it burnt down. I rolled on the floor laughing for a good 5 minutes. Not one of these dumb people said, "I was afraid that would happen." They didn't show the reaction of the winners seeing the burnt stuff. I really wanted to see that too. Boo to the director and producers. The elimination challenge was another stamina thing where the people had to hold themselves above water w/ a rope. Jane proved she's a tough old bird and won. Back at camp, somehow Nayonka had it out for Brenda who's been nothing but nice and loyal to her. The whole group is a dumb bunch of sheep and everyone except purple Kelly voted for Brenda to go. Wow! I was so surprised the 2 guys in Brenda's alliance voted for her too. I think she scared everybody in the previous immunity challenge, proving how intelligent she really was. Well, bye.

Top Chef: Just Desserts had it's finale. The chefs got to work with great pastry chefs as their soux chefs. I don't know why Yigit was surprised Danielle had Sherry Yard shelling pistachios. Those are the jobs soux chefs do. Morgan had the oldest chef assisting him which didn't work too well when he was using modern techniques. One blurb they showed was Yigit complaining about Morgan turning up the A/C when his bed is beneath the large vent. Um...Yigit. Why didn't you just move to another bed? It's not like there's no room. I love when people can't solve their small problems. The next day, previously booted players were brought out to be the assistants and did the chefs get their choice? No. I felt so bad for Morgan. He got stuck with oriental girl Heather who did nothing but bitch and bad mouth him all season. She is no honorable grasshopper. The tasting menus were set before the judges and what beautiful food it was. Morgan made modern elegant desserts. Danielle made yummy looking confections. Yigit played up his talent for making ice creams and won the whole shebang. I kind of thought he would if he was able to hold it together to the end.

The Apprentice is down to the final 5. I thought this was going to be an interesting week cuz Steph and Lisa can't stand each other and they're the only 2 left on their team. The task was to make a commercial for AT&T and Go TV. I think. Anyway, it's a mobile app to watch TV shows on your phone. I have to say, I adore Clint. He's a good old boy but he's smart and he doesn't beat around the bush. He's also not blowing smoke up people's asses to impress or coddle them either. Stuart was wise to shut up and let Clint run the show. Steph, meanwhile, was the PM on her team and relegated Lisa to gopher. Steph is as creative as a drunken frat brother. She thinks she's all that and she is proving to Trump she isn't. Well, needless to say, Stuart's team won and Steph was sent home. Yay! Ding dong the witch is dead. Then we got the treat of Steph saying she was hired by Trump for something else. Really? You couldn't leave us with the high of seeing the bimbo go? Ugh.

Those wild young people from Road Rules and Real World are back on another Challenge. This time, it's called Cutthroat. Yep, they ran it all together. Oh yeah, and because they keep changing the name of the show, my TiVo didn't recognize it and I've had to catch up on-line. Anyway, it seems to be some really old vets throwing the newbies to the wolves every week. There are 3 teams this time and one guy and one girl from the losing teams of the challenge are voted into the Gulag to fight each other. I like that the voting is a secret ballot so people can actually lie about their vote. For some odd reason, I find Chet and his thick glasses really cute and hot. Derek, Abe, Katy, Paula and Eric are really looking old. Paula has an ugly eruption happening on her face. Eric's face is blotchy and red and my HD tv is not doing them any favors. Katy proves that law school has not tamed her cursing, drunkenness or fighting. I love that. What a great Irish girl. I can't wait to see which team wins. I hope for once, it's Brad and Tori. I guess Paula deserves to win once and they're all on the red team.

Hell's Kitchen only had one episode. It's one big team and they don't seem to be working well together. The chefs had to make an amuse bouche. Russell won. I couldn't believe the professional chefs they had in to do the judging. Wow! Impressive! Note to Trevor: when your food is large enough it needs to be in a bowl, it's not an amuse bouche. Anyway, the prize was to eat lunch in Carey Simon's restaurant. What the heck happened to him? He looked like meat that a dog chewed, swallowed and puked up. I guess I don't like long hair on old guys either. At dinner service Trevor and that blonde loud mouthy bimbo couldn't seem to get it together. I think Trevor was still half drunk from the night before. In the end, Sabrina, the blonde mouthy chick I just referred to, was booted. Yay! I was so sick of her screechy voice.

The Next Iron Chef also had it's finale. Chefs Canora and Forgione were in Kitchen Stadium and challenged to use Thanksgiving ingredients. Personally, I wasn't impressed with any of the dishes finding them all done by someone before. They didn't do very good at doubling or tripling down on the ingredients. The judges weren't exactly that exuberant either declaring each dish, "Good." I'm sure all the food was good but it needed to be really cool, new and impressive. In the end, my wish came true and Forgione was declared the New Iron Chef. Yay! Bye Canora. Hope to never see you ever again you pompous ponytailed poop face. Let's see if your ego fits through the door, now that it's been deflated a little. I'm also so sick of buck toothed Arpaia. I hope to never see her on another show again but somehow, I don't think that will happen. I also hope Alton Brown takes the time to eat a good meal too. He's so thin, he's looking like a piece of beef jerky.

The Amazing Race went to...some overcrowded Asian country. Somehow Jill and Thomas found a flight that gave them a 7 hour jump on everyone else. This episode also had a double U-turn at the detour. I thought this meant the teams were going to have to do both tasks again but no, it meant 2 teams were able to be turned. Really? I didn't know only one team, before, could be u-turned. I just thought people just didn't use it. First the teams had to make juice from sugar cane. At the detour, they could either deliver bricks by balancing them on their heads or deliver meals to a ship. Then one person had to put together a rickshaw. None of the tasks were anything a tourist would want to do. Jill and Thomas hit the mat before the other teams even landed in the country so the real drama of the show was who was going to end up last. The HSN women, Chad and Steph and the Doctors were on the last plane together. Chad and Steph have the worst sense of direction. Brooke and Claire and Chad and Steph were u-turned but it wasn't a contest because by the time Chad and Steph found the detour, Brooke and Claire were already done w/ their first task and halfway done w/ the 2nd. I don't know who long it took to find the pitstop mat but through all the teams doing the tasks, there was bright daylight and when the last 2 teams got to the mat, it was dark. Wow! Anyway, Chad and Steph came in last. I have to say, I'm so proud of the strong chick teams this year. They can drive, navigate, figure out puzzles and do physical tasks too.

Dateline had a special on Prince Charles followed up by his documentary on earth conservation. I'm not sure which was more boring. I have a feeling Brian Williams was not able to ask everything we wanted to know. Not much was said about horseface Camilla. Not much was said about the engagement of William and Kate, not much was said about Harry's bad boy history and not much was said about the late Princess Diana. They basically went from place to place around the castle grounds with Charles saying, "Ooh, I love this place too." The servants were all in hiding too. Oh, we did get a good look at Charlie's big manure pile. It was quite a metaphor for the whole show. Just like Charles, his documentary was 20 years late. Really? We're running out of resources? Really? We're ruining our atmosphere and earth? At least his British accent made him a little more interesting than Gore the bore. I would like to point out that organic farming is old fashioned farming. It's the same thing farmers did 100 years ago before chemical fertilizers and pesticides. Why are people claiming it's new? So far, nobody has really suggested planting marigolds around the perimeter of the fields and letting ladybugs loose in the fields but they're probably waiting to unveil that as new next year. Whatever!

Okay, well, that's it for now. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and enjoys the holiday shows that go with it.

What the Heck? Oh yeah. It's Reality.

2010-11-17T23:43:00.000-08:00

I'm back and blogging a little late but oh well. Here we go.

Yay! Fox decided to let Hell's Kitchen continue. I like this show. Yeah there's a lot of drama, yelling and whining but it's all really well done. There's solid cooking and Gordon Ramsay stays tough with his high standards. This week Trevor was bounced back to the men's team and for some odd reason, the men didn't appreciate it. Hello, when you have more people on your team, you have better odds of staying. So first, the chefs had their test of taste buds. First, Ramsay proved they had the palates of peasants by listening to them ooh and ah over packaged foods. Note to future contestants: learn to shut up or say, "I don't hate it." Then the chefs had to ID food items. The chefs once again proved pork tastes like chicken and truffles aren't that impressive. I love when the person who brags the most does the worst. In the past, this test held a lot of weight with Ramsay and the same can be said this time. Nona ID'd the most items. The prize was shopping and lunch. Whatever! At dinner service Nona and the men had total meltdowns. The law firm chef couldn't turn out decent scallops until his 10th try. The Italian guy looks totally exhausted and his cooking became sloppy and the cocky guy made the ultimate mistake taking underdone chicken to the pass. Ramsay's fuse is short these days and he kicked all the offenders out of the kitchens. Poor Trevor was left to finish dinner service by himself. I doubt he was all by himself. Chef Scott and Ramsay probably lent a hand but it wasn't shown. Well, duh. The women's red team won. Trevor made wise elimination choices but in the end, the law firm chef was booted. The next day, the chefs did their cooking relay. The women were doing really well until Jillian dropped the fish on the floor. Of course she blamed it on someone else. The men won kind of by default. The prize was shopping in a cookery store and dinner. Okay. Sounds quite redundant. I think it's more about not getting punishment. At dinner service, there was only one thing that Ramsay had to shout about. Of course, it was the guy's team. This time, the Italian guy's luck ran out and he was booted but they made the elimination about winning the apron for the single cooking group called the final 6. Whoopee. So if you go home next, you're still a big loser. Now it's mostly women and Nona has pulled her finger out.

Survivor is getting sickening. I can't seem to stop watching these despicable people. Marty spent his time running off at the mouth. Some chess master. Who the heck tells his game plans to everyone? They finally start having luxury challenges which of course, all involve eating in the prize. The group splits into 2 for the challenge and as luck would have it, it's men against women. Chase is the odd man out and doesn't have to participate but does have to choose a group to stick with. He chooses the women. I'm not sure if this was a strategy move or not because no matter what happened, he'd know what the women were up to. I think it was just a way for him to spend some time with Brenda, who he clearly has the hots for. The challenge involved breaking through stick and brick walls and of course the men won. The men tried to connive together during the prize but it was really all about the food. The elimination challenge involved memory. These people don't know how to use mnemonics. Brenda won even though Marty gave it a really good try. At tribal council, I notice these people just let everything spill out of their mouths. Nayonka really put her foot in her mouth and people let it be known they want to go the end with her evil highness. In the end, Jane got her wish and Marty was voted out. I'm sure he was sorry he hadn't kept his hidden immunity idol.

Top Chef Masters is getting to the last chefs. The quickfire involved making chocolates inspired by their lives. Zach's were about the people in his life. Okay...Zzzzz. Morgan gave a nice heart string tugger and won. I do have to say, his chocolates did look the most professional. The chefs then met the oldest man on earth and were told they were to make a cake for an anniversary celebration. His spouse turned out to be the cake lady with the huge glasses. Once again, Morgan made things look easy while everyone else scrambled and ran around. Zach made what he deemed, a cake disaster. Here's a hint. When you already have a pile of crap, don't add more crap. His cake looked like the party version of the iceberg that took down the Titanic. Danielle made a grey cake but it was kind of cool with the piano keyboard running around it and it was judged to be delicious. Morgan said piping was easy but he didn't do it well. Yigit was too ambitious and couldn't finish what he started. Danielle finally won her pot of money and Zach was sent home.

The Fashion Show is back and way better than last year. This time the teams are 2 houses and the people can actually sew. The designers had to be inspired by Iman. The teams were Emerald Six and Nami (Iman backwards). That Philipino guy with terrible english but a big ego tried to walk all over his team and fighting ensued. In the end, the House of Nami had beautiful clothes and were declared the winners with Cesar the ultimate winner. The boring girl from Emerald Six made it 5 by being booted. I'm loving Iman. She's right out there with her opinions and I wish she'd just say, "I'd die before I wore that." Mizrahi seems to be the good cop this year but does give good advice. Think if Tim Gunn were a judge on Project Runway.

America's Next Top Model went to Italy again. First stop, Venice. I'm glad to see the girls have to share beds and a small living space. It's more real and they'd better get used to it. For the photo shoot, the girls worked in groups of 3's posing with a guy in a gondola while dressed in Italian hooker garb. Once again, Ann laid there like a sack of potatoes and the judges loved it. This time though, Chelsea, the girl who looks like a young Lauren Hutton, won. I said Liz was sent home last week, but I was mistaken. She was sent home this week. Tyra hates people who make excuses all of the time.

On The Apprentice, they started out with a firing. Stupid Anan was called out for cheating and totally lied to the Don. First he cheats and then lies about it? That was double stupid. Trump fired him so fast, it made his head spin and for once, the contestants were speechless. So now it's basically girls against boys because that one girl on the men's team hardly stands out. The task is to make a display for Perfumania advertising Kim Kardashian's new perfume. I about fell on the floor laughing when Trump told Kim what a great girl her sister Chloe was. Really? Was that the same girl you berated harshly for drunk driving and then fired on the spot? Okay, anyway, the women's team went way too blingy cheap on their display. It looked like a bad prom prop and Kardashian was not impressed. Lisa tried to nix all the stupid sequins and stuff but was over run by the BFF blondes. The men made a tasteful, cool and modern looking display. When advertising a perfume, you might want to actually show the bottle girls. Otherwise, how do you know which perfume it is? The men won of course and Poppy was sent home and...nobody noticed.

I Love Money had their stripper pole hang in there challenge. Women are good at this for one reason. Skimpy bathing suits. Bare thighs hang onto a pole much better than long shorts and clenching arms. In the end I think Hotwings won. Ya gotta love the names these people choose for themselves. Garth, the gorilla of the group dropped off his pole first and his check was voided right there. Well, it was a way to get him out, from under the wing of Punisher. The women tried to band together but it didn't work and one of the dumb girls was sent home. Bye! I feel sorry for the contestants. It seems all they get is Mexican food. I'll bet they're dying for a cheeseburger. They also aren't impressed by the stupid touristy prizes the get on the dates. If you've ever been to Ensanada, you know the best prize is to go home. The place is a total armpit.

The Next Iron Chef had it's last challenge before Kitchen Stadium finale. First, the had to make a cocktail with an hors deourve to go with it. I thought Ming Tsai would do really well at this one since he does this all the time on his show. When the chefs find they have a problem? Why don't they change the game plan? I think there's a ego problem. Canora won again. The chefs were then, each given a luxury main ingredient like wagyu beef, a rich pork, lobster and a rich fish to work with. Canora was able to choose his. Then the chefs were let loose with their item to make 3 of the best dishes with it. Do these chefs know the show? I expected the item to be used at least 2 or 3 different ways in each dish. You know. Like beef in beef sauce with beef chips on a bed of beef noodles. I think the chefs are tired and getting somewhat sloppy. This time, Canora won again and Tsai and the lone woman, chef Teo were sent home. Now it's down to Canora and Forgione. All I can say is, Canora's ego is so unappealing, I'll never watch his episodes if he becomes an Iron Chef. He doesn't seem pleasant at all from the small screen but then again, it would be the first iron chef we'd root against.

The Amazing Race went to Oman. I felt sorry for the contestants. It's the middle of summer (no snow in Russia) and they have to run around the desert. Even though Chad and Steph overslept, it didn't seem to hurt them at all. The challenges involved hunting for stuff. First they had to drive themselves to a certain area that looked like the Grand Canyon. The teams that had maps seemed to do the worst. Nat & Kat and Gary and Mallory thought they didn't need to ask for directions. They should've known that things in the Middle East are renamed every week depending on who's in charge and who's living there at the time. So the teams had to rappel down a mountain and then the one person had to hunt in the heat for a ring in one of many Aladdin's lamps. Ugh. Then they drove to a tourist spot and then had a choice of gathering wedding soup ingredients or hunting for a house that needed a water delivery. None of the teams chose the wedding soup. I think it was a subconscious choice. It's 120 degrees. Do you want to think about soup or cool water? Even though Jill and Thomas hit the mat first, they made the mistake of hiring a cab to lead them to a destination. During their 30 minute penalty wait, Chad and Steph (newly engaged by the way) were given the top prize. Now they have a honeymoon to go on. Yay! Gary and Mallory never did recover from their navigation mistake and got to the finish mat wayyyyy behind everyone else. You can tell because they were the only ones with no daylight when they checked in. Where the heck did they drive to? Egypt?

Sarah Palin has a reality show of her own called Sarah Palin's Alaska. Y'know what? It's really cool. Due to their long summer days, they can film a lot of stuff and therefore, cut out a lot of boring crap. Mrs. Palin is enthusiastic about her state and if you've ever been there, you know it's really incredible. I love that her kids aren't that impressed with the cameras. I noticed there are a lot of weird names in the peripheral family too. Was that kid's name really Happy? They showed a day of salmon fishing with the youngest daughter, Willow's boyfriend sneaking up to her room when he was told not to and a painful to watch mountain climbing day. I'm thinking Sarah learned her lesson with Bristol and got that boyfriend out of her daughter's bedroom pretty quick. He really thought he could sneak up with Sarah sitting right below the stairs? Not too bright. They have a paparazzi like neighbor who watches them from his balcony. I would suggest throwing bits of raw meat up on his balcony. He'd be bombarded by bald eagles and up to his neck in bird crap. These people don't know college pranking? The word crevasse was used way too much during the mountain climbing. It think it was just a way to say ass a lot on camera. Todd Palin's most pithy comment seemed to be, "Yeah." Still waters run deep? I do have to say, it was quite good cuz they did show Alaskan life. It wasn't meeting with friends, drinking, shopping and arguing which I can't stand of the Housewives. Go Sarah. But don't think it'll make me vote for you in the next presidential election.

Well, that's about it. I still recommend The Big Bang Theory, Outsourced, The Middle, Modern Family, Raising Hope, The Simpsons, Law & Order: UK, Psyche, Mike and Molly, Three and a Half Men, No Ordinary Family, Smallville and Law & Order: Los Angeles. My friends recommend Glee, NCIS (all of them), Boardwalk Empire, Vampire Diaries and Gossip Girl.

Happy watching people. The Holidays are coming and we should see a lot more warm and fuzzy stuff coming soon.

Deja View

2010-11-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, another week has gone by.

Hell's Kitchen missed another week and I'm not sure why. We do watch it. I miss the cursing while cooking.

Dancing w/ the non-Stars did it's thing and the voters did their thing. I hear Bristol Palin wasn't all that good but was saved yet again. Who's voting for her? The basketball star w/ his partner Cheryl was voted out. All I care is, Karina is gone. I'm guessing the voters are actually voting for the pros again. That's another reason why I quit watching. I do watch Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday nights to see who's been booted but some stars refuse to do his show too. Yeah, I'm referring to Doherty and Bolton.

I did watch one episode of the crying fatties aka Biggest Loser. They had one challenge, they're not in pairs and they're working out. This time, they went to Camp Pendleton and lived w/ the Marines for a few days. Most times, living as a Marine really kicks peoples' butts and they can't help but get in shape. I'm thinking the Sargeants were a little easy on the fatties cuz they all came back either not having lost much weight or gaining. Really? I loved the excuses. We couldn't watch our diet, we couldn't rest well, blah blah blah. Okay. First, you don't have to eat everything that's on your plate and if you weren't sleeping, then you should've been running in place. No wonder the fatties always get fat again. They have no self discipline. I wonder if that might be their basic fatty problem. It's biggest loser alright, emphasis on loser. This show needs to get rid of Bob and Jillian. I'm sick to death of them and I can't be the only one. Anyway, once again, someone who thought they were safe was booted right out. Bye!

Survivor is getting downright sickening. There is absolutely no redeeming quality in anybody including Jeff Probst. The teams merged into one big fat tribe and they called themselves Libertad. They should've named themselves Muy Malas. Anyway, life isn't that sweet w/ everybody conniving w/ each other. Nyonkas helping herself to the tribe's food crate and thinks nobody knows but what's her face sees her. Everyone is out to get Elina but she thinks everybody from Espada is one big happy family and tries to rally them. How very naive of her. Nyonka's trying to win a final vote by befriending Elina and shows her the loot from the food crate and we get to watch the 2 chow down on the fruit together. The immunity challenge is a stamina challenge to see who can hold a stick between to hinge links the longest. Tough old Jane wins over everybody even though there was going to be a woman and a man winning. Fabio wins his immunity and actually makes it look like a day at the park. Finally, Nyonka is brought forth to admit her sins to the tribe and she tries to explain away her stealing and proves how dumb the tribe is. They believe she took the stuff to preserve it. Really? She's probably smart enough to just do her spouting in front of the camera only. She does realize she has to return to the real world who's been watching her, doesn't she? Anyway, Marty acts desperate. Skinny guy who made the deal w/ Marty to get the HII wants to stay in his good graces and convinces his group to preserve Marty this one time. I love the way everybody plans for the final tribal by being conniving. At tribal, Marty rails on Jane again. Probst, as usual, asks and says the dumbest inane stuff. Elina is voted out. It's obvious Nyonka voted for her so that was a wasted fake friendship. God, I hate these people.

Top Chef: Just Desserts had a challenge made for pastry chefs. The chefs had to make an edible bouquet. I thought someone would do a fruit bouquet since they're so popular these days but nobody did. What? They don't know how to make roses out of beets and radishes or tulips out of carrots? I'm guessing these people have never been on a cruise ship before. Yigit tried to make vases out of isomalt. I don't know why he was surprised they broke when Morgan breathed on them. In the end, Morgan did some amazing sugar work and won. I agree with Johnny Iuzzini. I liked Eric's giant cupcake covered with buttercream flowers. It looked like a fat bride's bouquet. Not fat bride; fat bouquet. The elimination challenge was to make tea pastries w/ celeb couples as inspiration. These chefs were all of one track mind. They never said the couples had to be real or alive. You never heard of Romeo and Juliet or Adam and Eve? Anyway, I was waiting for one of the gay guys to come up w/ a gay couple but it didn't happen. So they go to the store to shop for ingredients and when they return to the kitchen, they find all the chocolate is missing from the pantry. Never assume! 3 of the guys were counting on using the chocolate and it really messed up their game. Eric couldn't recover and Yigit kind of went into la la land. I loved that Danielle used Conan Obrien and Andy Richter as her couple. They never said the couples had to be sexual based. Zach won w/ his Julie Andrews and Blake Edwards dainty pastries. Eric came up short w/ his shortbread and I was kind of glad cuz he used Oprah as his couple and I can't stand her. I was, however, sorry to see Eric go home.

On The Apprentice, the teams were mixed up. First they showed Stephanie fighting it out w/ one of the guys. I think Anan. Whatta ya know? They end up on the same team. The teams were to make a print ad for Trump's clothing line. Boy! This show really is all about him huh? David and that blonde quiet chick take the managing jobs. David decides he's the only one who knows fashion. He takes an instant liking to one of the male models and goes blind and deaf. The rest of the team gives up and gives in to David. On the other team, they get stuck with irresponsible models who don't show up. Instead of calling the agency and telling them nobody's getting paid, they decide to do the modeling themselves. I have to say, Stuart looks good in the bedroom shot. In the end, David's team loses and David is sent home. Yay! What a freakin' nutball. The most boring part of the show is the meeting of the winning project manager w/ the CEO of a company. It might be a great prize for the contestants but for the audience, it's a real snoozer and we're glad we have DVRs.

The Next Iron Chef contestants are in Las Vegas. Their assignment is to cook a Vegas buffet. Really? All by themselves? I felt sorry for them as they ran like crazy around an unfamiliar kitchen. Everybody thinks Canora is on the bottom including Canora but he wins. The chefs are told there will be 2 people going home but as it turned out, Caswell was the only chef to have a sucky buffet. I still can't stand Arpaia as a judge. She's nobody and she's kind of stupid. Who eats an obvious banana peel anyway? That English guy has a weird palate and looks like he's been eating lemons all day. Alton Brown needs to eat a meal. He looks like he's been vacationing in Somalia.

Finally, America's Next Top Model did their commercial. OMG, what a disaster. In the first place, you don't put tall people on roller skates. They have a high center of gravity and tend to fall over easily. Poor Ann, when she hit the pavement, I almost heard bones crunching. She took it well but was very awkward and dead in front of the camera. Surprisingly, she didn't go home. Liz, last week's winner was sent home. I have always felt Tyra picks the winner the first day of meeting the models. I think it's going to be Ann and the rest of the girls are just on for the drama. We'll see.

Well, that's all for now. I'd comment on I Love Money, but I'm not sure I'm keeping up w/ the episodes. See you all next time!

Hoes, Hums and Hohums

2010-11-02T00:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back.

Let's talk about that Housewives franchise. Usually, I can't stand these media hogging shallow women w/ more time and money than brain cells. I do have to say, there's always a smart one in the group who makes the show a little less aggravating. The newest installment is Beverley Hills. This should be called the Real Desperate Housewives. Camille Grammar seems to think everything is all about her including all insults and compliments. I now have a whole new level of respect for the man who could put up w/ this bimbo for that long. Run Kelsey,run!!! And may the divorce be with you. The funny part of the show is the 2 sisters and one is actually a former star w/ real cred to her name (Kim Richards). The smart woman of the group is unfortunately, the lady with the English accent. Great, now all American women seem like boors to the whole world. The only really respectable person seems to be Adrienne with the shallow meathead husband. She actually is the wealthiest but is the least snooty and most down to earth. She's also the only really likeable one. All of the others are kind of sickening after about a half hour.

Hell's Kitchen was once again pre-empted for something else. They can't put MLB on one of the sports channels?

On America's Next Top Model, Ann seems to have shown her achilles heel. She's terrible when relating to real people. Ok, so remember,I'm having to watch webcasts to keep up with this series. The girls first had to win a spot as a grammy girl by dressing each other. Really Ann? You thought the skinny girl next to you would wear a size 12? Kayla, w/ the fire engine red hair, won. Oh boy! I hope she changes her hair back to a more natural color before the Grammys. Then the girls and to portray designers w/ another model in the shot. I didn't think Ann's picture was that great but what do I know. This time that hispanic short haired single mother w/ the bad complexion won. The prettiest girl in the competition proved it takes more than just stunning looks to stay. That black girl with the beautiful but somber face was told to go home.

On Survivor, the show is lacking any likeable people. Just when you think they may be nice, they turn out to be major snakes. The editors and producers are usually pretty good at toning down someone's unlikeableness but there must be too much footage. They're probably saying, "Gee if we cut out all the mean stuff, we'll only have a 10 minute show." Anyway, Nyonka seemed okay cuz they kept her off camera the whole time. This time, they had a reward challenge and a separate immunity challenge. The reward challenge involved one team launching a ball into a net mid-jump while the other team's person did blocking of the shot. Team not-La Flor seemed like they should've won but they didn't and the reward was to milk a cow and eat a rustic dinner including that milk. Ummm...I guess when you're starving, you will eat anything. I don't know how good the food was cuz a few people were crying. The immunity challenge involved aiming a chute to make a ball hit tables. It's amazing what a good meal will do for a team cuz team not-La Flor won again. On La Flor, the guy with the HII was dumb enough to let that skinny guy talk him into handing it over. At tribal council, the skinny guy made it kind of clear that he thought the HII was his and his alone. Hmmm...that'll make for an interesting next episode. Meanwhile, Marty tries to be the suck up to the people who seem to want to boot him out but someone sticks to their word. It wasn't Fabio. The ER doctor from the older team was booted out. Nobody really cares cuz at this point, we just want to see them all starve to death.

On Top Chef: Just Desserts, the chefs were split into 2 teams. Heather deemed them, Team Diva and Team Loser. Hmmm...how very catty of her. How is it these Asians lose their respectability when they're American? So they start with the mis en place relay. Team Loser kept up until the spreading of the strudel dough. When doing a meticulous task, it's not good to shout at your teammates, Morgan. The funny moment was watching Zack make whipping egg whites look really hard while Morgan made it look really easy. So Team Diva won the relay race. The teams were then told they were to run a pastry shop. Cool! I wondered how they were going to do the business challenge. So we had Team Diva and Whisk Me Away. I love that name and you can tell it made a good impression because I can't remember the name of Diva's place. You can tell Eric has had business experience. He let Morgan and Danielle just hash things out while he worked and made sure the display case looked really yummy. All in all, Team Loser won! The celebration was great. Even better? Heather was told to pack her stuff and go! Yay! I'm glad to see that the judges recognize that a simple thing like a chocolate chunk cookie can be a great thing.

Project Runway had it's finale. They did fit in a small reunion show that seemed to be mostly about the 3 finalists. If I were one of the returning booted contestants, I would've been really mad. That girl who was booted the very first episode didn't even get to say anything and they never did address how bitchy Ivy was to everybody. Wretched Gretchen was called fakey bitch by her friends and cried about it. She should've owned up to it and said, "Yeah, I was exhausted, stressed and living on coffee and energy drinks. You'd be bitchy too." Really? We had to see that whole montage of the meeting of the relatives? Anyway, they rushed the final designers to the workroom and the cameras followed. We see a lot of talking and wondering and not a lot of sewing to justify a better reunion show. This time, we get to see the backstage frenzy with Mondo missing models and having line-up mix-ups. Andy's still making new clothes and Gretchen is wearing granny lipstick. On the runway, Andy's clothes are a lot of black and grey but avante garde. Mondo has a lot of mixed prints and color and seems fun. Gretchen's granola collection is half hidden under her models' big shaggy hair. Jessica Simpson is deemed fashionable enough to be a guest judge. Oh-kay... Jessica's looking somewhat bloated after her travels. The judges argue with the younger one's liking Mondo's fresh and young looks and the older ones liking Gretchen's futuristic stuff. Really? Clothes from the 60's and 70's with cut out backs are futuristic? Whatever. To the dismay of all of America, Gretch the wretch wins. I puked and turned the channel at that point but I would guess the family was brought it, everybody cries, the winning model is brought out and Gretch gets to gloat. Ick.

On the Apprentice, the teams had to sell a musical to backers. Surprisingly (is his name Dave?) is not so annoying to the team and actually shows he can be intelligent. Stuart stumbles during his part of the presentation but it still goes well and the booklet to go w/ it is well done. Meanwhile, the black girl who everyone disses volunteers to be the project manager but admits she has no musical experience. Meanwhile, the bombastic blonde seems to be an authority on everything. Why didn't she volunteer to be project manager? She also complained that she had too much responsibility on the past tasks and was tired of it. So she was put on the single task of making the promo booklet and...it sucked. These people have never heard of a teaser. The presentation was very choppy with narration cutting in to try to tell the whole musical. You don't do that. You make a teaser and make the backers want to be a part of the production. Anyway, the women lost but it came out that Masa revealed to the men how much was made the week before on the pedi-cab task. Masa talked herself right out of a job. I wondered when Trump would fire her for her disloyalty but when it was mixed with betrayal, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Bye Masa! Evil has left the building.

The Amazing Race went to Russia. It's so nice to see summer. There was no snow in sight and the day was very long. The teams all started out even getting onto a train. When off the train, the dating couple guy blamed the inability to get a cab on the fact that she took too long to get ready. Yeah, who you trying to impress? The cameras? So the first task was to either look for a film clip in a huge pile of film or try to identify piano pieces in a room full of different piano players. I knew the music one would be hard because concertos can be very long and different depending on where the person is in the music and when you're in a room full of other people banging on pianos, it's hard to distinguish music at all. Then at the next task, one person had to dress as a babushka and plant potatoes in the traditional Russian way. Once again, these are not things tourists would want to do. This time that other dating couple came in first and the goth couple got to the finish mat last. But... it's a non-elimination leg so...ho hum. Whatever. You know this show has been on too long when it's full of likeable people and we just want to see everybody just go.

On The Next Iron Chef, the chefs had to show respect to ingredients. What does that mean? Does that mean keep the ingredient identifiable, or make it more spectacular than it is? The chefs first had to work with potatoes. According to the fellow chefs, respecting the ingredient means to make a potatoe dish where the potatoes are potatoes. Oh-kay... Chef Canora was given the win and was none too gracious about it. For the elimination task, the chefs had to make dishes from the 4 main regions of the USA: South, East, West and North and they didn't mean Alaska. Somehow East meant southern states to some chefs. To others North meant New England or the midwest. Hmmm... This time, Ming Tsai was declared the winner with solid flavor with his own unique twist. Chef Chauhan, along with her pierced nose, was sent home.

Hero to Zero in one show

2010-10-27T03:46:00.000-07:00

Hello folks. I seem to be in an every other week pattern here. Sorry about that.

Hell's Kitchen missed a week so we're off the hook there.

On the Apprentice, the schlub who said he could handle the wild guy found he couldn't. Actually, the wild guy wasn't the problem. The teams had to do fashion shows for shoes. Wow! It was a total plug show where they not only said the name of the shoes for the whole show but showed every style they had. I'm not going to say what they are cuz I'm not getting paid ha ha ha. I did notice the biggest star to attend the fashion shows was Ivanka Trump. What? No Andre Leon Talley? Anyway, it was literally a shoe-in when the women won this task. Duh. In the end, the most boring guy on the men's team was made the MC and he sucked so hard, he was gladly fired by Trump and then to put the icing on the cake, the project manager was fired too. Hee hee hee! (giddy laughter). The next week, the teams had to sell pedi-cab rides. The women made a bad choice to try to sell them to locals. Okay, in the first place, New Yorkers aren't taking slow pedi cabs cuz they have a real life and not all day to get things done. In the 2nd place, New Yorkers don't need to have the fun of seeing the city. They see it everyday and it's not that much of a novelty and it's not like there's not a thousand and one pedi cabs every day of the year. So the men won this task and there was much finger pointing. Just like on Survivor, all of a sudden there's people I never noticed before. In the end, that girl who didn't seem to be on the show before, was fired for being...not there. Hmmm...

On Dancing With the non-Stars, the Situation from Jersey Shore was sent back to Jersey. Yeah, dude, we're sick and tired of your face on our TV screens. Oh, and he couldn't dance. On the 2nd week, the producers are scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas and dug up a used one. The dancers did a TV theme. Florence Henderson used the Brady Bunch theme and it didn't go over too well w/ the judges. Bristol Palin used a Monkees theme and just looked dumb. In the end, the whole world was surprised when Flo Henderson got the boot. The judges are still raving about Jennifer Grey and Carrie Ann Inaba finally said what we were all thinking from the beginning, "This is your show, girl." Uh huh.

I wanna comment on Chuck. It's become another Remington Steele. Chuck's hiding who he is from the real world but has become cool with a sleek haircut, a hot girlfriend and better clothes. Somehow, they've fallen in the pit of mundane-ness. Casey has now become the cool part of the show. Too bad. All of us geeks lived vicariously through Chuck but now he's out of our league.

I finally saw the ending of Money Hungry on-line and it wasn't a surprise at all. Mission Slimpossible won and not much weight was lost. There wasn't any amazing body transformations like you see on Biggest Loser, so when they showed before ande after pictures, it was hard to tell. They needed to consult Celebrity Fit Club producers. The families were brought in and there seemed to be fake crying. Really stupid.

Survivor mixed up the teams. I kind of saw this coming. Nyonka is separated from her buddies and the young people have the majority on the tribes. The young people proved they don't like bossy older people and voted off the black guy who had the brains in the tribe and he was the most fit of the older people. The second week, they had double elimination with each team voting someone out. The challenge involved digging up a ring and getting it into a butt basket. I loved that older women from each tribe won because they got individual immunity. Then they tossed the rings to determine who would get the luxury prize of a feast. La Flor won that one. So the older people are trying to scramble and connive to stay alive but aren't very good at it. Marty stupidly told everyone he has the HII so the tribe is trying to flush it out. On the former older tribe, Eve was the odd girl out and was voted out. That was dumb since she was the youngest of the older tribe and more fit than everybody else. On La Flor, Marty convinced Fabio he was a chessmaster. Har har. So Fabio wants to align with someone to make up for his lack of a brain. The vote was split and Kelly B. (the amputee) was blind sided and on the chopping block. There has been no pity or love for the amputee girl from tribemates or the producers. After the re-vote, Kelly B. was voted out and boy did she give her teammates a dirty look. Meanwhile, the other team was eating their feast. Whatever. It was beef and chicken kabobs and the highlight seemed to be the ice cubes in the iced tea.

On Top Chef: Just Desserts, the chefs have split into one cool group and outsiders. It's so weird that the best looking guy on the show is an outsider. Anyway, the teams had to make a dessert/food dress. 2 girls landed in the bottom because they made their dresses out of vegetables. Hello, remember the name of the show? They used mannequins so I wondered why they didn't just use fondant and icing and pipe the darn things on. Morgan, the straight guy, won with a chocolate dress that was really cute and he made a purse to go with it too. Anyway, Heather's return didn't last and she was booted again. Last week, the chefs had to make black and white desserts to go with a newspaper theme. I've made black food but not intentionally and it was never edible cuz it was burnt. The chefs had a hard time finding black foods and did a lot of chocolate. The skinny outsider girl made some weak petitfors but they must've been good. The black girl made an ice cream that was neither white nor delicious and was given the boot. This time, Zack won and he didn't even use disco dust.

The Next Iron Chef had the chefs making dishes out of their catch of the day. It was cool to see the women were better at fishing than the men. The men didn't look happy about it either. I'm thinking Ming Tsai must go to the end because they hardly show him at all. There were a lot of scorpion fish caught. Chef Forgione won the quick challenge and took Tio's snapper. I saw that one coming. In the end, he won the elimination challenge too and... I can't remember who was told to go. Last week, the chefs had to transform dishes. The chefs are too critical of Chef Tsai which makes me think they really think he's the one to beat. They didn't think making a sauce into meat wasn't transforming? Then Chef Tio was deemed the winner of the quick challenge by her fellow chefs. The chefs went to the fair to transform fair food into cuisine. In the end, Chef Tio won again, although I thought Chef Tsai's food looked and sounded amazing. Chef Estes made caramel apples badly and was told to go. Donatella Arpaia confirmed what I always thought. She's not too smart and ate the peel on Chef Tsai's banana in his dessert. Duh! BTW, that small amount won't kill her so NBD. We also found the judges don't like being served something they've already had before.

On the Amazing Race, the teams first helped build the school in Ghana. I tell ya, those African people can't seem to do anything for themselves. The teams finally got out of the heat and went to Iceland. It was summer so the snow was sparse. The Glee team thought they were athletic and couldn't get down the sledding track w/out half killing themselves. The teams had to drive themselves a lot and it seems the ER docs had luck, athletic skills and good navigation cuz they came in first. The Glee team came in last and took it well. Last week, the teams went to Norway and I have to say, the Norwegians don't look like they love Americans. The ER docs decided to do the fast forward. How is it that the vegetarian people always seem to end up eating huge amounts of meat? So they had to eat a sheep's head. Ew! I about barfed when the one girl ate the eyeball and deemed it crunchy. Meanwhile, her vegetarian friend is gagging the whole time, but they did it and I loved the comments when the Norwegian guy wouldn't even crack a smile at them, "You're very inspirational." If that's a treat at Christmas, I don't even wanna know what they eat the rest of the year. The other teams had to do that ascender thing. I was very surprised that the women did it so well, especially that goth chick. The Korean team is doing well due to the fact that the son is very considerate of what his father can and cannot do. I have to say, the challenges aren't exactly tourist traps. So the ER docs came in first, one team got to the fastforward and didn't understand what the "taken" sign meant and the volleyball team was so behind, they had no hope of catching up. You can tell it's not even close when the shadows of the day aren't the same, but the producers like to make it seem like it's close. I like the women's teams this year. They're admirable and not bitchy to each other or other teams.

Okay, so I'll close with a real show. $#!& My Dad Says is good but not for the right reason. I was all geared up to enjoy a salty old veteran who doesn't give a crap what other people think. The problem is, there's absolutely no chemistry that says these people are related. Shatner just seems like that quiet guy next door. He's not quick or loud enough and his face doesn't show his crotchety-ness like it should. The son is a wuss bag that we all want to beat up. The show's really funny part is Sullivan and Sasso. These 2 were on Mad TV together and have not only great chemistry but comedy chops to go with it. They way overshadow everyone else and are the really funny part of the show. I think it would be better if the crotchety old father lived with them and they played off of each other more. Just because you base a show on a real life concept, doesn't mean you have to stick to it. It's all about what the audience likes.

Well, that's all for now. See you next time.

What's happenin' TV world?

2010-10-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

I've watched a few new TV shows.

The Event is very confusing. It was unclear what they were calling the event. Was it saving the drowning guy? Was it the wife disappearing? Was it the airplane hijacking by John Ritter's son? Not only that, they kept jumping around in time and by the end of the episode, I was totally confused and wondered where I was in my own world. Nobody likes to think too hard when watching tv. At least not for a whole hour.

The Defenders has 2 really cute things going for it: Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell. The 2 guys together are fun and the show has that Boston Legal pace. The scenes with Belushi's character's little boy are real snorers but maybe the producers will learn to cut the sap out. As you would expect in a city like Las Vegas, the cases are a bit outrageous but if you've ever experienced Vegas society, you wouldn't be surprised.

Raising Hope is the cutest sitcom to come along in a long time. It's kind of like My Name is Earl on a more domestic level. Who knew Martha Plimpton had comedy chops? They need to include Cloris Leachman more because at her age, she still lights up the screen and she's always hilarious even when she doesn't say anything.

Okay, so I'm still not watching Dancing w/ the non Stars but I guess Sarah Palin made a showing. OMG, I thought Obama was a media hog. I'm hoping it'll at least keep her from making her home in the white house. As I expected, Jennifer Grey is running away with the show. I'm done.

On Top Chef: Just Desserts, the chefs were introduced to the sundae making quickfire. Seth flipped his lid and ended up looking like an immature dumbass and riding off the show in an ambulance with padded walls. Yeah, I think he's way beyond Prozac. Anyway, Morgan won both the quickfire and the elimination and his head has swelled. The chefs had to work in teams of 3 for the elimination. Heather with the forehead wound was brought back to annoy us with her mopey self, Malika fell on her sword and asked to go home. Poor Johnny Uzzini can't believe his show is crumbling around him and you can hear Colicchio laughing in the wings. Pastry chefs are really bizarre.

On Survivor the older tribe is looking for a leader and nobody really wants to step up. Aren't those guys old enough to take care of themselves? In a game where you can be voted off for not being liked, nobody really likes to be the bossy one. On the younger tribe, it's really split. Nyonka and her friend finally figured out the hidden immunity idol clue and found it lying right on top of the ground. I think the producers thought they were going to be too stupid to find it by digging. The next day, everybody else started looking for the hidden immunity idol. Really? What the heck else do you have to do? Why aren't there divets all over that freakin' island? So Nyonka's friend spilled the beans to her friend that the HII had already been found. I'm guessing that's not going to be good for someone. The challenge was the old yell at blindfolded tied together teammates to find stuff. The younger tribe decided to use the medallion of power due to their inability to get along in close proximity of each other. They won by a lot w/ the older tribe swearing they only lost by a small margin. Whatever! The younger tribe got the prizes and the immunity idol and Sears got a big ad spot. So we go by the rule of, the most annoying person gets booted out and that was Jimmy T. It was probably that hugging thing he tried w/ people after the last tribal council. Bye Mr. fisherman who never caught a fish.

Project Runway is coming down to the final designers. So what do they do? They bring back old booted out bitter designers. Oooh, so much fun to see Ivy's sour face again. Not! The designers are supposed to use Heidi Klum's material to make a look for Heidi, to be sold on-line blah blah blah. While on their own, the designers are visited by not only Tim Gunn, but by Heidi too and she's very critical which makes for a lot of eyerolling. Mondo and Gretch the wretch are over her, Christopher is peeing in his pants and Michael C is still starstruck. So after that, they're told they have to do 2 more looks with help from past designers as their worker bees. Oh boy! Ivy and Christopher are paired together and Mondo gets Valerie. Ivy is her sweet self and accuses Michael C. of sticky taping his clothes onto his model. Tim Gunn calls them all together to poo poo the accusation and basically says, "Shut up and get back to work!" I'm not sure what activity these designers were thinking people were going to be doing in their looks but it didn't look like activewear to me. Since when are flowy clothes made for being active? You don't see many people riding bikes or playing golf in flowy loose clothes or triple layers. In the end, Mondo won again and Ivy proved she really does suck because Christopher was booted and she did his sewing. Schwing!

Hell's Kitchen had it's switcheroo. Melissa was sent to the men's team and Trevor was sent to the women's team. First, Sabrina's still being lazy and then playing the victim. This time the teams had to cook for the Beverly Hills High prom w/ the prom committee choosing among their dishes. The women won a day at the fair and the men had to decorate. The prom went on and in the end, the men really sucked and the camp cook went home (I think). Then the teams had the switcheroo. The theme was ravioli and the chefs had to have their dishes judged. I learned Ramsay doesn't like ravioli that have busted open. The men won this one and went to play golf and have lunch while the women cleaned up and prepped. That night, TV stars were the guests allowed to sit in the kitchen at the chef's tables. Melissa couldn't cook a scallop to save her life and the chef on the women's team doing the meat station put all the steaks at once in the oven overcooking every one of them. There was a whole heckuva lot of yelling from Ramsay. In the end, the women won and Melissa was booted from the show. Bye!

The Apprentice is much better with real working schlubs fighting tooth and nail for the job. This week the teams had to do a viral video for a popcorn company. Masa or whatever that fighting chiuaua's name is, was the project manager for the women's team and boy was she bossy. Everything had to be her way. I kind of saw that coming. I also saw people on the show I never noticed before. I kept saying, "Who the heck is that?" Whenever they showed one of the team members. The men's team was headed by the big midwest guy. The women made a video of people working out and eating the popcorn. It was quite boring except one rude moment with a guy doing a see food thing to another lady working out in the gym. The men made an event with a lot of popcorn throwing and smacking of the bag. I thought it was really fun but they left out one of the best parts with one guy doing snow angels in the popcorn on the ground. In the end, the men won. Masa was a bear, tiger and shark rolled into one in front of Trump and her BFF from 2 shows ago was fired.

The Amazing Race went to Ghana. The teams ran into taxi problems but the challenges weren't that hard with the women and geeks doing really well. The Americans showed how ignorant they were by not knowing where Ghana was on a map in front of school children. Then nobody could find the puzzle key which was only covering one whole end of a building. The glee guys came in first and the oriental guy and his Dad came in last but it was a non-elimination leg. All I can say is, it must've been really hot for some but not for others which makes me wonder, how much of a time lag there was between the teams. I loved the Dad/daughter team. He's very practical and cool headed and she just goes with the flow. They came in second and he also knew where Ghana was on the map.

The Next Iron Chef has a lot of unknown chefs and then there's Ming Tsai and Pagan. First they had to make breakfast out of coffee and donuts. What? No bread pudding? The first challenge is always the chefs judging each other and it seems they always give it to someone who's not a threat because giving them an advantage doesn't really matter. Okay then. The elimination challenge was to take a well known comfort food like meatloaf or chicken pot pie and redo it. Chef Chauhan won the first challenge and then got to pick which dish each chef had to remake. Ming Tsai and Pagan landed in the bottom and Pagan was sent home. I have to say, the judges this year are really annoyingly pretentious. I can never stand looking at Arpaia's big buck teeth that long anyway. Meanwhile Alton Brown acts like he needs to have a really good poop. Geez!

I Love Money is back and it's full of the same kind of camera hogging drama people. They're recycling the challenges from past shows. This year, they're assigning the captain of the teams for the week which is really good because it keeps one person from each team running things all of the time and other people from just hiding behind others the whole time. Some people are back again. I never care who gets booted but they've been making it surprising every week. These people aren't likeable enough to want to keep around anyway. I'm always glad they're on the other side of the screen. There's a real Eww factor with these people.

Well, that's about all for this week. See ya!

Wow! Cool and oh no!

2010-10-05T23:29:00.000-07:00

The shows are really running hot.

On Survivor, the older tribe members have been deferring to the wisdom of Jimmy Johnson. The soccer coach seems to have found her missing brain cell and the youngest member of the tribe seems to be hiding behind everybody's skirts. Other people may call it laying low. Okay. The younger tribe continues to think they're in Jr. High school. Nyonka or Nokia or whatever her name is, has crossed over from just being ballsy to being that mean girl. She hates everybody who doesn't meet up to her mean girl criteria. The guy they call Fabio is proving he's a true blonde and the other half of the tribe is sitting around deciding who's going to be the lead dog. I have a feeling there's been a lot of editing because Nyonka's BFF doesn't seem as bitchy as usual. So on to the reward/immunity challenge. I still hate that they don't have 2 but I think they're running out of ideas and also, they don't want to completely kill off the older tribe by having 2 challenges in one week. For the challenge, they had to get big barrels to certain spots and then they'd take turns throwing little sandbags onto the barrels. It really came down to the sandbag toss. Jimmy Johnson made the fatal error a lot of coaches make; letting a player having a run of bad luck stay in the game too long. The older tribe was ahead and then lost the game. The younger tribe also won a crate of fresh fruit. Nyonka and the amputee girl saw a note in the midst of the fruit and as soon as they put the crate down back at camp, there was a tussle and Nyonka was triumphant. I don't understand why they waited. It's not like the older tribe can steal their fruit. Somehow they've decided not to show the dissension in the tribe to the older tribe. So needless to say, the older tribe blamed the coach for the loss and he was booted out. After all, Jimmy did say he didn't really want to win.

Money Hungry had it's last episode before the finale. So far, I can't see a huge weight loss in anybody. I loved the phone call from the Flabulous guy and the guys hanging up on him. They did show the people working out but the level of activity shouldn't have made them sweat that much. Really? Walking made them sweat? Then for the challenge, they had to move huge tires while going through cars. This proved they weren't small people cuz half of them couldn't fit through the car doors hee hee hee. The Grading Curves team won with their better teamwork. So after a lot of plotting and planning, it came down to the black fugly team against the orange fuglier team. Yay! The orange ugly girl team went home. I wasn't surprised to see all the teams of 2, still weigh over 500 pounds. Geez.

For the new season of Two and a Half Men, they're focusing more on Alan. I have to say, it's lost some of it's edge. I know the show is trying to prove to Charlie Sheen, they don't need him that much; but they do. Charlie with his half drunken womanizing and no holds barred attitude, gives the show an edge that keeps it from being too stupid or too sweet. Having the mother on more does help but they haven't utilized her that much and when women are like Charlie, they just seem slutty and bitchy. In order to give Jake an edge, they've made him into a play-a but that doesn't really look too good on a young teenager and it's more uncomfortable than funny. Sorry people. Charlie is worth every penny you're paying him. Unfortunately, Sheen looks like he drinks a lot off the set. He's puffy and worn in the face and moving in a haze.

I'm loving the show Mike and Molly. The lead characters are innocent, upstanding and shy. Oh come on; he's a cop and she's an elementary school teacher. You can't get more upstanding than that. They also have great chemistry and Molly's sister and mother are too funny for words. Those two women are the My Name is Earl in the midst of the Leave It to Beaver show and it's a good balance to keep the show from being too sickly sweet. In fact, both main characters are surrounded by edgy and funny characters. My favorite line so far? When they're looking at a suit for Mike and his friend tells him he'll be a new man in it. The owner/cousin of the friend says, "It's only clothes." I'd like to thank the director for not actually showing Molly throwing up. We don't need that much real-ness on TV.

So on Dancing with the used to be and wanna be Stars, Michael Bolton showed he had no rhythm and was justifiably booted from the show. The viewers are proving they're not as dumb as they used to be. I'm still not watching. None of the people are stars we give a dam about and the dances are the same. Once again, Derek Hough has a great partner and I'm betting he'll probably win again. Boooring!

I haven't watched the crying fatties because there's an awesome new show opposite it called No Ordinary Family. Take a family drama and make them superheroes. It's kind of taken the place of Heroes. Unfortunately, Heroes became too unreal with too much going on at once. You needed a flow chart to keep everything straight. When watching becomes work, viewers tend to tune out. No Ordinary Family had a great pilot and I'm hoping they don't dwell to much on the family therapy stuff (big snore) and show the family coming together out of respect for their talents. When the parents told the kids what they could do, the only response out of the kids was; oh great. What? No Wow? Have kids become so jaded that surviving a bullet to the head doesn't impress them or make them concerned? They'll need to give the kids some warmth and soul in order to make us like them. The special effects are really good and Michael Chiklis is really great. How come he's never been named the Sexiest Man Alive?

America's Next Top Model is sticking to it's high fashion thinking and Ann seems to be winning every week. I was disappointed to see the one sister go because the sisters together really made some fun scenes. Even worse, as soon as she had her makeover, they booted her. I thought it was hilarious that the 3 girls made up the fake makeover list and freaked out the other girls. If they were real models, they'd have taken it in stride. Most models are used to having 3 or 4 hairstyles in one day. It's why you can't recognize anybody in high fashion photos. I'm impressed with most of the girls. They have weird quirks like huge boobs, gapped teeth, knock knees and even kankles but don't use them as excuses. Tyra is still her whack-a-doodle self but we've learned to tune that out. That stupidness keeps the show itself, from being high fashion.

On Hell's Kitchen, the teams are showing they're not too cohesive. I don't know where they dug up Sabrina, but she's major weird. One moment she's an authority in the kitchen and the next, she's asking dumb questions. I think she's one of those people who asks so many questions so you'll just tell her to get out and take over her work. Her voice is also very annoying. Raj on the men's team is a sweatball pompous dumbass. I loved the fact that there were actually 2 women up for the elimiination and Ramsey totally surprised everybody by booting Raj. Just because you're on the winning team doesn't mean you're safe and it shows who's really running the show. In the next episode, the camp cook was booted. I'm tellin' ya, that meat station must really be hard cuz it kills a lot of cooks. I've noticed the planes, buses and helicopters the contestants have been using are not Hell's Kitchen labeled? Whats-a-matter Ramsay? The economy bit you in the butt?

Law & Order has a new show set in Los Angeles. Hence the name Law & Order: LA I miss the usual voiceover beginning of the show that used to be the signature of the franchise along with the doink doink. It lent a dark drama note to the show that said it wasn't your mom and dad's cop show. LOLA (as it's become known) is looking like your mom and dad's cop show. What happened to the witty and wry one-liners? What happened to the casual mulling over the case between the cops? What happened to the ah ha moment when the prosecuters realized who was the real culprit? I think this show won't last. Not only that. We're sick and tired of L.A. The whole state is poor and over run by illegals.

All of a sudden men kissing each other has become a usual thing on TV. Modern Family had Cam and Mitch giving each other a peck and on Project Runway, we saw Christopher give his partner a peck and not on the cheek like Europeans. It wasn't repugnant at all. Actually, I think all prolonged kisses are uncomfortable to watch no matter what the sexual orientation. Whatever happened to the camera kisses of old Hollywood? So on to the Project Runway show. It was quite revealing. The designers made their own fabric design and the loved ones came to visit for a day. According to Nick's Blog on the Runway site, it takes more than one day to crank out a custom material. I was surprised how little of their own material the designers used in their clothes. I think it sends the message that they really didn't like it. I thought Michael's dress was cute with a bit of a glamazon look. If he had put a black wig on his model, it would've looked better. Mondo won with his bright pants and cool top and then we found out the plus symbols on his material stood for his HIV positive status and his outlook on life. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. It's cool that 20 years ago, that kind of revelation would have made people horrified and now it's just heartbreakingly sad. I would think the models would be nervous. Hopefully Mondo doesn't jab a model with a pin he's been holding in his mouth. It's unlikely she'd get AIDS but it depends on how deep the pin would go. At least quick action will help these days. Valerie's luck finally ran out. Her designs were so good in the beginning. I think she was the victim of the severe fatigue the contestants get. The show is a marathon and only the people who can keep a clear head to the end come out triumpant. I liked her individual parting goodbyes to everybody; especially the apology to Michael for being mean to him. If Ivy would've done that, we probably would've liked her more. We still hate Grech the wretch. I wonder if a designer can get Valerie's model cuz that girl is absolutely gorgeous and kept Valeries designs from looking totally hideous.

The Fox primetime cartoons are even better than usual. They've really pushed the boundaries and we're all waiting to see who's going to be slapped by the censors and the uptight Americans. So far, so good. It's hilarious and they say what we're all thinking. Peter Griffin is that kid in the story of The Emperor's New Clothes. He states the obvious thing that we all think may not be too kind to say in real life and we love it. Thank you! The Simpsons is still fresh, intelligent, fun and edgy. Ever since the Moral Majority leader kicked the bucket, we haven't heard much from them. It's so nice in a poor economy when the christians are too poor to pay attention. They're too busy begging for money. They may be moral, but they're no longer the majority ha ha ha.

The Amazing Race went to Ghana and what a difference going from England to there. The women on the show are showing they're intelligent and not wussy. The challenges are more simple but fun and prove, even the simple stuff can be hard if you have no brains. I'm still remembering the watermelon to the face that HSN girl host took. She still completed that task and that was really admirable. I learned from this episode, I don't want to go to Ghana. The people begged and reached into the cars just like Mexicans, tried to gyp the contestants, and seemed lazy and sleezy. Ick! Anyway, the HSN host women's team hit the finish mat first and the daughter/father team had some really bad taxi luck and came in last. Bye.

Well stay tuned people. TV does go on and on. See ya next time.

Yay! A new season of TV

2010-09-27T01:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I'm not blogging regularly but hey, when I see nobody's reading it anyway, why the heck do I owe due diligence?

Anyway, let's start with shows that are still leftover from the summer.

Bachelor Pad ended up with Tenley and Kypton and Natalie and Craig. Nat and Craig were chosen by the rest of the contestants who were brought back for a nice reunion. Then they had that choice thing. If Nat and Craig both chose to share the money, they would split it evenly. If one chose keep and the other chose share, the one who chose keep would keep all of the money. If both chose keep, neither would get any money and the quarter million would be evenly divided amongst the losing contestants. It was pretty funny since the ousted people were egging them on to choose to keep the money. In the end, both chose to share and Nat and Craig rode off into the sunset on a pile of money. I learned this show was a big waste of my time and just as dumb as the original show.

On Money Hungry, the people are still fat but more conniving. Flabulous changed their vote 2 weeks in a row. It worked out for them the first week but not the second. No Excuses are out and Flabulous should've remembered it's a weight loss show and actually tried working out. Now the Regulators are shaking in their boots because they don't feel in control anymore. Whatever. Everybody is still fat and most are pretty ugly too.

The Apprentice is back and with regular people who have fallen to the bad economy. Now why isn't anyone mentioning Obama on this show? The teams chose Octane and... some other dumb name. Anyway the first task was to make a modern office out of an open space. The pageant girl was made project manager for the women and the military guy was made project manager of the men. The pageant chick turned out to be a ball passer who delegated too much and was too diplomatic and the military guy was too into himself to notice the rest of his team didn't know what to do with themselves. I got the feeling that the Don didn't have such a big budget for the people. The women ended up with an old fuddy duddy office and the men's office looked like Legoland. The decorator lady on the women's team proved why she lost her job. She sucks at decorating. The lawyer chick on the women's team proved her disloyalty by dissing the project manager before knowing whether they won or not. They didn't. In the end, the pageant chick was fired but she has a job to go back to and the Don was so impressed by her. He's setting up an interview with the Miss Universe organization for her. I think he just noticed what a hot chick she was. The next week, the teams had to sell ice cream. Both teams had similar ideas about dress and location. The men made fools of themselves. The women stuck to their higher price point and ended up winning the task. This time the quiet Hispanic guy was fired. Now I don't know who's more annoying: the whiny guys or the arguing women.

She's Got the Look is winding down and down to just 4 women. Marianne and Lisa were let go. It was kind of obvious but Jocelyn should really go for not being flexible and cooperative. She's also ugly on the inside and everything's all about her. Julie is proving she does have what it takes even though Jocelyn keeps saying she doesn't. I love Roshumba as a judge. She doesn't sugarcoat anything.

Survivor is in Nicaragua and has split the tribes into people younger than 40 and people older than 40. There's one girl on the over 40 tribe who I doubt is over 40 but whatever. It's really quite interesting. They have a famous football coach on the oldies tribe and a girl with only 1 leg on the younger tribe. The first week, the older tribe made fire right away and a good shelter. I liked that they built a good shelter and then didn't think it was good enough and started fixing it right away. Now that's work ethic. Unfortunately, they didn't quite gel with the first challenge and lost and ended up at tribal council. The goat herder lady got diarrhea of the mouth and said stuff that made her look like a total nutball. The whole tribe wisely voted her out. When you're living with a bunch of strangers, you don't need someone who's a whole lot of crazy. The 2nd week showed the disharmony of the younger tribe. There seems to be a minority faction. Even though the soccer coach started to go mental, the tribe pulled together and the older tribe won the immunity challenge and the fishing gear. Weirdly enough, the younger tribe voted off a strong male player. Are they trying to lose the challenges? It should be interesting.

America's Got Talent had a surprising winner. Michael Grimm was the last person I thought would win. He won. Oh well. Do I think he can hold a show in Vegas? Nope. I wouldn't pay to see him. I hope someone signs Fighting Gravity right away.

I'm not watching Dancing with the Stars this season. Of the contestants, I don't care who wins, I don't care to see any of them and I'm sick to death of the same pros winning. Just once, I wish they'd give Louis, Edyta, Tony, Michael and Anna someone who has a freakin' chance. Okay, they did give Anna Evan Lysachek last year but still... So far, I hear David Hasselhoff was voted off first.

The Great Foodtruck Race ended up in New York City with Grillem All and the Nom Nom truck. So far, the Nom Nom truck was blowing the competition away every week. This time, Grillem All had the other teams backing them up with advice and good resources. It was interesting with the trucks having to sell in each borough. In the end, they proved a lot of support works cuz the Grillem All guys won the whole enchilada.

America's Next Top Model is back with a very high fashion season. Expect very tall thin girls with very high cheek bones. They're all pretty young with the oldest 22 years old. There's no plus sized or old this season. There are 2 sisters who are so funny that they really make the show very enjoyable. Unlike the twin sisters on a previous season, they're quite competitive with each other so the dynamic is different. Ironically, Tyra herself doesn't qualify for this season since the modern couture look is very different from the 80's. Also, Tyra's not that thin or young anymore. It should be good. Unfortunately, everything good is on Wednesdays and Thursdays and I'm having to watch things on the web.

Top Chef went to Singapore for the finale. The top 4 were Angelo, Ed, Kevin and Kelly. Ed blew everyone away the first day and Kelly was sent home. Then the chefs were joined by winning Top Chefs from past seasons: Michael, Ilan and Hung. They were given the same main ingredients to use, given parameters for the meal and let go. Someone poisoned Angelo and he was bedridden for a day. Good thing Hung was his soux chef because he whipped everything together in no time. Ed had the Carla problem of wanting to be in charge of his meal but with no idea for dessert so Ilan threw out ideas. It proved to be his waterloo. Even though Angelo was able to go back to cookin' after a shot in the butt and a day in bed, his head was still not on straight. In the end, Kevin was declared Top Chef. All of his food was well thought out, well seasoned and looked great.

Top Chef: Just Desserts is a great concept. The chefs are quick to point out the superiority of pastry chefs over savory chefs. They also seem to use a lot of lingo that I have no clue what the heck they're talking about when describing cooking and food. The first week, the chefs had to make their signature dessert for the quickfire then halfway through, they were told it had to be in the form of a cupcake. Not being wonder twins, some of the chefs had quite a condundrum. Pudding in a bowl is not a cupcake. Then they had to do a chocolate dessert with Jacques Torres as a guest judge. Oh boy! I love Zac. He's hilarious. Meanwhile, the chef who looks like Dexter seems to be very egotistical. Morgan is too. Is that a heterosexual male chef trait that I don't know about? Anyway, the homely lady with the big buck teeth was let go and the oriental girl won. Last week, the chefs had to make a dessert with penny candy for the quickfire. The Dexter guy had a complete crying meltdown about his Mommy over is unfinished dessert. Instead of awkwardly moving on, Faulkner gave the guy a nice peptalk and a hug. Awww... Then the chefs had to make a dessert based on a cocktail. This time the Dexter guy's mood swung the other way and he got shouting made at his fellow competitors. Eeek! Get this guy to the whacky shack right away. In the end, the black girl won and the old guy who didn't bake anything was sent home.

Project Runway always proves I don't know good fashion. The designers had to do a sportswear look inspired by Jackie Onassis. Okay, so I loved Mondo's design and he won. Michael Drummond was sent home for making butt ugly clothes which some designers deemed genius. Whatever. Last week, the designers were told they had 2 days to make a high fashion look based on Loreal eyeshadows. April and Michael C. were the only one's smart enough to smell a rat. Most of the other designers made big plans that they talked over with everybody instead of sewing like Cinderella's mice. Sure enough. On the morning of the 2nd day, Tim Gunn announces they have to make a ready to wear look to go with it too and they have to make another trip to mood. Swatch, the Mood mascot Boston Terrier seemed to steal the show with Tim Gunn running after him. How cute was that? Anyway, the designers scrambled. The one's who had lollygagged most of the first day now had to edit down their high fashion designs. Valerie about had a breakdown and Ivy wasted time talking her through it. Stay on task people! This isn't Girlscout camp, it's a competitiona and the name of the game is get those clothes sewed. So in the end, Gretchen sent a bohemian 70's mumu looking thing down the runway (complete with headband), followed by a dress that looked like it had nothing to do with the original. Ivy made an ugly pageant dress followed by an even uglier bridesmaid dress. Valerie made a wedding gown followed by a basic black strapless number. Michael C. made a beautiful burgundy gown but made a train on it that could rival the orient express but the cocktail dress that followed was cute. Christopher made a dress that looked like something made with toilet paper at a bridal shower. Anyway, in the end, Mondo won again for his cool colorful edgy gown and very cool chevron sheath. Oh and he won 20 grand too. Finally, Ivy the bee-yotch was sent home. Man, she was the crabbiest Korean I ever saw.

Hell's Kitchen is back with all new contestants. Right away a lady got ill and had to drop out of the competition. Good thing cuz she was a terrible cook. The men proved they've got some lunkheads this season and the women have a big talker who actually proves she's got talent and a palate to back up all that hot air. So far the women have lost 2 teammates and the men lost one. They haven't proven they're as good as last season's chefs. It should be interesting.

Mike and Molly is a cute sitcom that is funny and real.

$#!& My Dad Says had a weak pilot. It's weakened by it's early primetime timeslot of 7:30pm Central time. You can't be edgy and raw and family friendly at the same time. Straddling the fence makes for a weak show. Shatner does his best with what he's given but we know he can do better. He just needs to unleash that Denny Crane persona and we'll all be rolling on the floor laughing.

Hawaii 5-0 had it's pilot and it's disappointing. McGarret just doesn't seem tough and manly enough like Jack Lord and Dano isn't nearly as handsome as James MacArthur. Why are Koreans portraying Hawaiians? They also had way too much of Dano talking goo goo with his kid. The main criminal plot was very weak and stupid. Ugh. I'll pass.

Modern Family, The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, and The Middle are still just as good. Smallville is in it's last season and just letting off all their ammunition. The season premiere was awesome and is nicely bringing Superman to the hero we all know and love. I was disappointed Lex Luthor wasn't Michael Rosenbaum but we can't have everything.

So that's it. As more shows come on, I'll keep you up to date so stay tuned.

We're back

2010-09-06T05:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I thought, I'll just take a little break and all of a sudden, 2 weeks went by. Meanwhile, I did watch TV. You really think I'd miss my TV shows?

Let's start with Bachelor Pad. This show is like high school. Some people are pairing off and the rest are jealous. The dates are kind of stupid since most of the time it's 3 girls and 1 guy or 3 guys and 1 girl. At least last week, they made it a real date with just 1 choosing 1. There's a lot of attempting of ousting people and the planners seem to get voted out. The end of this show oughtta be really good if they let it go to a vote. So far, Gia, Weatherman, Wes and Chrisily are out. Elizabeth and Kovacs make me gag every time they're together. They had a kissing competition a couple of weeks ago and Gia made a big deal of having to kiss other men. I guess that means you're really not an actress. The guys couldn't figure out how the girls could tell who was who. Probably from their cologne. It's pretty much a give away when Elizabeth starts cringeing before Weatherman even starts kissing her. Suddenly the blonde bimbos are emerging. I'm starting to fast forward through their scenes since nothing intelligent seems to be said. I liked one girl finding the guy wasn't so great after he got drunk. I still can't stand the host of this franchise. What a rat faced geek. They should've just stuck with Rycroft by herself.

Money Hungry is a lower budget kind of Biggest Loser. Nobody cries but at the same time, nobody really works out and nobody really loses weight. It's kind of a white trash lazy man's Biggest Loser with the emphasis on Loser and I don't mean of weight. In the first place, each team of 2 paid in 10K to be on the show. OMG, where did they find these suckers? You don't see them working out like they should and they don't seem to eat as well either. There's one New York team that tries to be the Godfathers. "We'll look out for you if you do what we say." Whatever! Funny thing is, their cohorts have fallen by the wayside. The really lazy teams all bunched up with the cavemen looking guys and found they were outnumbering the other group. They thought they were safe, so didn't work out at all. The producers threw in a wrench and made the elimination all about weight loss. OMG, how funny! At the weigh in, some teams only lost 2 or 5 pounds. Really? Next time pee and poo before the weigh-in. Also, I don't think I've ever seen an uglier bunch of people. No butt-er faces there.

America's Got Talent is down to the final 12. What an amazing group. There's a young girl with the voice of an opera diva. Really amazing. We finally got rid of the sisters with the sob story. Prince Poppycock and Fighting Gravity are still in it. That guy who does the mountain bike balance thing is really great and shows us something even more thrilling each week. We have dancers and a really great magic act. They finally got rid of that French street performer who I thought should've stayed on the street. Bye Bye Frenchie. Gaborey Sidibe's mother is out. The nervous girl singer is out and thank the gods we never have to see Mary Ellen ever again. Meanwhile, Howie has proven he doesn't know the difference between talent and stupid entertainment. Piers may be grumpy but always seems to be right and Sharon is the mediator who keeps Piers from punching Howie in the face. What a show. So far, America has shown, this year, they do have taste.

Top Chef is winding down. They had a challenge cooking for the CIA, cooking for the Nationals baseball stadium and for NASA. Gee, all the government reference is getting nauseating. We lost Alex, Amanda and Tiffany. Alex made a veal dish that was declared a weapon. Can we say overcooked? He couldn't figure out what he did wrong. Gee, I guess he's as smart as he is handsome. Amanda made tuna tartare for the baseball stadium that had oxidized overnight. Eeek! Chef Eric Ripert admitted he wouldn't swallow it for fear of getting sick. With the NASA challenge, Angelo finally pulled his finger out after lagging for a couple of shows and won both the quickfire and the elimination. All the chefs did really well for the NASA dish so it came down to sheer luck and Tiffany's ran out. Her mussels got frozen. How the heck are you gonna freeze dry mussels? Oh well. So for the final 4, it's Kelly, Ed, Kevin and Angelo. We'll see who's learned something after their break. Some people come back refreshed and prepared and some just come back.

Project Runway has the cattiest bunch of people I've seen in a long time. 2 weeks ago, they had the group break into 2 teams of 6. Michael C. must've forgotten about those knives in his back because he chose Gretchen to be on his team and then Ivy too. Really? So one team ended up consisting of winners and the other team no winners. I knew the egos would show more with the winners and boy there was no holding them back. Gretchen kind of ran the show for team Luxe. They chose to make a line of clothes with menswear to women's wear beige. Meanwhile, the scrapper team went with military and lace. Really? beige? Ooh, exciting. In the end, the scrapper team won and Casanova finally got some taste and was declared the individual winner. Since he's respectful to everybody, they all gave him respect back and gave him his due. A. J. was ousted for his sad shirt dress. I had one in high school in the 80's but it had a lot more color. Last week, the designers took ugly bridesmaids dresses and made them into something else. They also came with the owner. Surprisingly, the designers didn't really care what the dress was. They chose depending on the lady in the dress so of course the heavier girls were left to last. Valerie and Michael D. had last choices and I really think they started the challenge with a defeated outlook. Both acted like they didn't think there was enough fabric in the dress to work with it and cover the girl. Everybody dissed Michael C. Why? Ivy has proven the green eyed monster has made her ugly inside and out. Gretchen is more humble after being called out by Tim Gunn the week before. He admonished the Luxe team for letting her bully them and blah blah blah. All I know is, I was RFLMAO cuz he said it right in front of her. She needed to be cut down a few pegs anyway. She's still making those ugly earthtone clothes. She's someone who can only design for herself. Way to have ingrown eyeballs, Gretch. So Anyway, Michael C. won for the 2nd time and Peach was ousted for her really ugly avocado green dress. Ivy and Gretchen were livid over Michael C's win. Casanova was the only one who showed any class by congratulating him. Gee.

The Great Food Truck Race went to Austin and New Orleans. The Nom Nom truck just can't be beaten. They're not only good cooks, but they're good business managers too. They're very savvy planning ahead and doing research on the city while driving there. They tend to pair up with a local business guaranteeing not only a spot to park but associated customers too. The French team lands in the bottom 2 every week, but seems to stay in the game by the skin of their teeth. I think they probably have a high price on their food. Even though they don't sell as much, they still make more profit. So the Ragin' Cajuns, the crepes truck and now the Austin Daily Press are out. I don't understand why they thought they'd do worse in the rain in New Orleans. The people are used to rain.

So that's it. Survivor and the Amazing Race should be coming back. They showed the new stars participating in Dancing With the Stars: David Hasselhoff, the Situation from Jersey, Ummm...and nobody else I wanna know. I don't think I'll watch this season. I'm sure there's a lot better things to see on TV. Also, Brooke Burke is back and I can't stand her.

Oh talk about Brooke Burke, she's hosting She's Got the Look this season. I loved that the youngest lady who thought she was all that was kicked off first. Hee hee hee. Shawn Patterson is more blunt and to the point. I think he found it didn't work to be kinder and gentler when you have a complete nutball in the mix. Remember the crazy lady who stripped her clothes off at judging last year? I love Roshumba Williams. She tells'em like it is and also doesn't beat around the bush. She also still looks really great and has a ton of personality. Tyra who? The women had to do a swimsuit shoot and were all worried. Why? They all look great! Then they had makeovers and all of a sudden, that mousey southern lawyer lady came out of her shell and just killed the next photo shoot. It was great to see.

The Emmy's came and went. Finally, Kyra Sedgewick finally won her Emmy. Jim Parsons won and Modern Family were winners too. Claire Danes elevated herself from totally ugly to just homely and won an Emmy too. Jimmy Fallon proved to be forgettable and Ricky Gervais showed why he should host every awards show.

That's it. Come back again and see what I've been watching.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

2010-08-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

This was a fun week in reality tv. As you know, I really love the competition and elimination shows.

ABC has a new spin off of their sappy series The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Bachelor Pad takes past losing contestants on the shows, makes them live together like Big Brother and then eliminates someone each week. Everybody got an introduction this week and for those of us who never watched the original shows, we were informed of the person's season and the persona they were (villain, sweetheart, duped dummy, stalker, crying whiner, drunk, drama queen or king, etc.) Gwen is the oldest from one of the early seasons of the bachelor and she seems to be still recovering from her facelift. So they all mill around a bit, get cozy and gossip. That ugly birdfaced host from The Bachelor is the co-host here and he's way overshadowed by Melissa Rycroft. There's a challenge game of twister. The winner gets a free pass through the elimination ceremony (and a rose) and gets to pick 3 people for a date. I'm waiting for someone to come out of the closet and pick a same sex person for the date hee hee hee. Anyway, I digress. Craig is most hated by The Weatherman but wins the twister game. After a night where all contestants sleep in one big room together, Craig has to choose the 3 women. He chooses 2 blondes and a brunette. During the date, there's a mini rose ceremony before the really good part of the date and only one girl gets to finish the date. Craig gives Jesse, the brunette, the rose and free pass through the elimination ceremony. Before the elimination, there's a lot of conniving, boo hooing and cuddling. I love the way the camera is shoved right into the face of crying people. They're so kind. Actually, I don't really remember seeing real tears. In the end, Juan and Melissa are eliminated. Melissa was a total whack job. Juan, however, was the best looking guy in the house. I guess he duped a girl into thinking he wanted to date her so she would give him free housing in Chicago and then ditched her for another girl. Unfortunately for him, that girl is in this show too. Lesson here? Be honest from the beginning and don't be a weenie.

Hell's Kitchen had it's finale. I'm so glad they don't have the chefs design their restaurant anymore. It never made any sense since that isn't going to be in their job description when they win. First there was a taste testing of dishes by imported chefs from Ramsay's other restaurants. What a great commercial for his other restaurants. Jay won and what did he win? First, I have to say, old booted contestants returned to work as the brigades for Holly and Jay. Jay's prize was the right to choose first. I wanted to know, where was Ed? Most of the contestants returning were booted way before him and not nearly as good looking. So anyway, Chauvon proved she really doesn't know anything about fine dining cooking even after being on the show for a few weeks. I guess you can't teach dumb dogs any tricks at all. Holly did a good job working around her anyway. It turned out to be boys against girls. In the end, Holly was the winner. Yay! Best part? Ramsay totally dousing Jean Phillipe with champagne right in the face.

Master Chef was boring. They whittled 30 chefs down to 14 by having them slice and chop onions and then make egg dishes. It was obvious, undercook, overcook or not highlight the egg, you're out. Bye! I noticed a lot of the less good looking contestants were sent home.

Top Chef had restaurant wars. First they did the cooking relay challenge for the quickfire. Stupid Alex salted the fish when he wasn't going to cook it. The dish turned out oversalted due to being salted again by the last chef who was actually supposed to cook it. I wanted to vomit. Not because of the food, but because of the judge. Padma introduced the judge as highly qualified. I expected Eric Ripert to walk in. Nope, it was the totally nauseating Speaker of the House Pelosi. I can't tell you how much I hate women in politics and especially this woman. After seeing Pelosi on the screen, Hilary Clinton is no longer considered the most irritating and vomit inducing woman in politics. As any politician, she yammered on about the dishes showing she was ignorant as a box of rocks. In the end, the blue team of Amanda, Kenny, the brown haired girl with grating voice and the short fat hispanic guy won. They also got to split 10 Grand. For restaurant wars, the kitchen was shared and the restaurants were side by side. The red team of Ed, Tiffany, Alex and Angelo made supposedly Mediterranean inspired dishes and named their place EVOO. I loved the way the team totally told Alex he was to do the front of the house and not do a dish. They made him prep the meat and then complained about his butchering. He did look quite inept. He also turned out to be a bit Hitlerish to his wait staff too. He's not only homely, but also an A-hole too. The Blue team were supposed to do new American cuisine and I can't remember the name of their place but it wasn't that fancy. Kenny was the exec chef and proved his palate is not like everybody else's. When the judges are pulling faces while tasting your food, it's not good. The brown haired girl with the grating voice was front of the house. In the end, EVOO team won and Ed was deemed the winning chef for his fish dish. Much to Kenny's surprise, he was given the boot. Everybody thought Amanda was out but nope.

Work of Art had it's finale too. We got to see the final 3 artists homes and families. It was a kind of interesting and made them seem not so wierd. Miles' art was graphic photographic based on a homeless guy he took a picture of at White Castle. He then had blown up pixilated areas that looked like that grid art I used to do in gradeschool; with less color. I didn't really care for it but everybody raved over it. Then again, Sarah Jessica Parker's ugly mug was standing next to it so I guess it did look good. Peregryn did a weird combination of scary childish whimsical and kind of poignant art that I didn't really understand but the judges loved it. Abdi did sculptures, drawings and paintings of bodies in different poses and motions. All I can say is, that guy can really draw, sculpt and paint. I really liked his pieces and guess what. The judges did too. He won. Yay! I liked this guy from the beginning because his art really looked like what it was supposed to be and didn't have to be explained too much.

Project Runway had one of my favorite challenges: innovation. They had to make clothes out of party supplies. How fun! Tim Gunn tried to discourage fabric items like tablecloths and cloth napkins but I guess that hispanic guy with broken english really doesn't know english. It seems Gretchen is letting her wins blow up her ego and it's really irritating the other designers and me too. Personally, I didn't like her winning dress and jumper but whatever. She didn't gain any friends giving her 2 cents on everyone's work. I do have to say, the dresses or outfits were incredible. I really loved the red number but it was in the middle. Andy's dress was complicated but cute. Betsy Johnson was the guest judge and kept wanting more goofy and loud looks but these contestants aren't stupid. I didn't like Gretchen's loose top with pants and pseudo jacket. The model did a great job keeping the top from billowing out. In the end, Andy won. Yay! We just wanted anybody but Gretchen. Sara was sent home for a dress that was deemed too simple and she didn't like it either. You really need to stand behind your efforts. Otherwise, the judges agree with you and there's no other side to be swayed too.

Austin and Santino went to Oklahoma to make a dress for a woman who's fave thing to do is hunt. I always love when they have unconventional places to buy the fabric. This time it was at a quilting store. Oh boy! They were lucky enough to be able to eat a venison dinner with the backwoods Okies (that was sarcasm). They also crashed at a cabin in the middle of the woods in nowhere. I loved Austin freaking out at the sounds of nature. Knock, knock, knock (on bathroom door). "Santino, I hear weird sounds like uhhh uhhh uhhh." "It's cows." "Cows? Doing what?" "F__king." I was rolling on the floor laughing with that one. Then I really LOL when Austin was wielding the electric saw to cut the antler in half. Santino: "I'm not afraid of power tools. I'm afraid of Austin with power tools." I didn't blame him. This time, the girl didn't give much instruction on what she wanted and let the guys be real designers. I have to admit the dress was really pretty and gave the lady a good shape. Who knew teal tulle was so nice over purple fabric?

The Next FoodNetwork Star had it's finale. The 3 finalists made pilots for their shows with Rachel Ray directing. The producers did a good job of not letting her blather on too much. Either that, or they left a lot of her blather on the cutting room floor. It was hard to say who did the worst. They all did a really good job. Tom did look like he needed a shower. The pilots were shown to a test audience and the comments were good. In the end, Aarti won. Yay! Maybe she'll teach me the art of throwing together spices and flavors to make Indian food. It always seems complicated to me. Also, I love her accent and could listen to it for days on end.

The Food Network has a new show; The Great Food Truck Race. How fun is this? 7 teams of food truck people take their trucks a certain amount of money and find a place to park and sell their stuff. Each truck has a different kind of food too from Bon Mi's to French food. The Nom Nom team did a good job of locating a farmer's market because people love to eat at places where they've been staring at food and they assume the ingredients are fresh from the market. The Ragin Cajun team was hyperactive and a little lost at first. Na Na Queen was the team that sold wings and banana pudding. That's not much of a menu and the people didn't think so either. Especially when the fryer didn't work and all they had was the pudding. Hmmm... In the end, Na Na Queen team was sent home. The loser was the team who made the least money. Totally makes sense.

Well, that's about it people. I didn't watch America's Got Talent because it was U-tube acts and I'm sick to death of amateur stuff that's just stupid.

See ya next week.

Schaudenfreude to the Max!!!

2010-08-09T15:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know what schaudenfreude is, let me explain. When you don't like somebody and something unfortunate happens to them, the elation you feel at hearing the news is schaudenfreude.

I guess Jersey Shore is back with it's undeserving money-hog cast. I refuse to watch white trash on TV on a weekly basis unless they're trying to be funny (e.g. Roseanne). My friends have told me they're quite sick of the stupidity and realize these people aren't playing at it now.

America's Got Talent had it's last group of 12 perform. What a group! There were obvious losers and obvious winners. From last weeks results, people sat up and said, "OMG, I'd better vote this week." I was so glad Mary Ellen wasn't voted through. She was horrible from the very beginning and too scary to look at. Piers pointed out that if it weren't for Howie, she would've never made it this far. I question Howie's musical taste. In case you're wondering who Mary Ellen is, she's the red haired old lady who looks like Howdy Doody's ugly sister, sings off key and plays the piano like she's having a siezure. Prince Poppycock and I don't remember who else were voted through. Nobody else matters ha ha ha.

Top Chef had Marcus Samuelson as it's guest judge. It's about time they had some real eyecandy on this show. Oh, he's also a great chef and highly qualified to judge all kinds of food. For the quickfire, the chefs had to do Ethiopian inspired food. Even though Angelo made real Ethiopian food, Ed's woman friend won. Hee hee hee Way to go girl! For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to make dishes inspired by different countries. Hopcraft got last choice and it proved to be his demise. Ed's woman friend (sorry folks I forgot her name) won this round too. She's on a roll! Anyway, Hopcraft not only didn't make Brazilian food, but the food he did make wasn't good. That's the kiss of death on this show. I have a trick when I overcook rice (which is a lot). I fry it. General rule: anything tastes good fried. Unfortunately, they were in a place with only chafing dishes at that point and he couldn't rework his rice. Sorry to see you go Stephen.

On Work of Art, the artists had to make a piece based on something they found on a nature walk. Miles found a huge clump of mushrooms, Abdi found black gravelly stuff, Peregryn found flowers, etc. Anyway, to me, art is art and I'm not a good judge of it. Abdi proved what an incredible artist he is because the judges and I finally agreed he did the best piece and I finally found something I'd actually want to buy. Jacquie tried to use another naked photo of herself but because it wasn't made during studio time, the girls nixed it when she asked. I thought Mile's friend made a cool piece but the judges didn't like it. They didn't like Jacquie's either and she was finally booted hee hee hee. Mile's girl friend was booted too...aw. Oh well.

So You Think You Can Dance had it's last episode before the finale. This week, it was a hard choice since all the dancers are very good and likeable. Adichike was sent home and took it well. Now we're left with just white people. I hope they don't have any hip hop or crumping to do in the finale.

Project Runway has a ton of contestants. I think too many. This week, they had to make a look for a Marie Claire billboard in Time's Square. I really miss the model choosing that they used to do and hopefully, they'll bring it back as the designers get whittled down. So the Marie Claire person said the look should look modern, fresh and intelligent. Hmmm... I expected a couple of power suit dresses but nope. The guy in the bowler made a weird shiny fabric silver monstrosity held together with safety pins. Kudos to his model for keeping her mouth shut. The dress I thought should've won was a cute red number with an interesting collar but they picked an ugly jumpsuit that looked like something I rejected in the 80's. I'm thinking the judges must be colorblind because brownish purple isn't fresh looking. Whatever. The guy in the bowler hat and the crying gay guy were booted. Bye!

This week Santino and Austin: On The Road went to see an army captain who was graduating with her Master's degree. I loved the workout session with Austin proving he's fashionable but not athletic. Unfortunately, Santino and Austin let the captain dictate her look and it was terrible. It was lumpy, loud and way overworked but she liked it. For once, the dress wasn't flattering to the female figure at all. Once again, Santino wore a smirk on his face the whole time he was making the dress.

Drag U was really funny this week. Chris (Kardashian) Jenner was the guest judge so all the girls had Kardashian in their stage name. Chanel, Pandora Box and...I forget were the drag queens assigned to the women this week. Chanel never ceases to amaze me. Pandora Box never ceases to make me laugh out loud. This week, these women had issues that needed therapy. One girl was a former model and I thought she was probably a shoe-in. This week, they showed more of the make-up application which I thought was really cool and informative. Chanel proved her expertise and her girl won. All the women looked fabulous!

Food Network Star finally got rid of Aria. Yay! They had an Iron Chef challenge. Arte made the best food the judges had ever had on the show. Herb served his 3rd dish last which wasn't good, since it was his worst. They had shrimp as their secret ingredient. Oh, also, previously booted contestants were brought back to be soux chefs. Meanwhile, the other 2 contestants had to be commentators. Aria, as always, was in her own world and couldn't seem to pay attention to the action going on. Tom proved to be fun and very knowledgeable. Aria and Tom had bacon as their secret ingredient. I thought someone would do a twist on a BLT but nope. Aria thought breakfast was a good idea. Hee hee, Morimoto declared it, "diner food". I fell on the floor laughing at that one. Not only that, but she garnished her food with the bacon. Not a good idea. Tom tried to think out of the box and instead went off the reservation. I loved the shot of Suzie trying to saw through her bacon steak. His food was declared the worst food ever on the show. Meanwhile, Arte wandered around lost and confused while Herb did a great job commentating. Alton Brown seemed like a cranky old man. So like I said, Aria was booted and I popped open a bottle of champagne to celebrate.

NFNS Afterparty had Aria as it's guest (of course). Most of the time, I find I like the booted contestant better during this show. They seem to be relaxed and less neurotic. Aria proved to be just as unlikeable and disengenuous as usual. She may be comfortable in front of the camera, but nobody likes her through the screen. She's one of those people you want to punch in the face, through the TV. No redemption for her. They did show clips from Kelsey's and Adam's season. I wish they'd re-run previous seasons. It was so much fun to see.

Well, that's all I can think of. Most of the shows are still on their summer hiatus. See ya next week!

Gee, take a break and a lot happens.

2010-08-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, first the finale of True Beauty happened. The funniest part of the whole season was, there were no absolute angels like last year. Everybody flunked one test or another. For the finale, the trio was to party with what's his name who hurt himself on Dancing With the Stars. So they partied until the morning and then the trio had to shoot a commercial for Vegas. I loved the blonde breaking down in tears. So, in the end, the lesser of 3 evils was Taylor. His only sins were to get mad at the stupid critic panel and laugh at the fattie bride getting totally berated by her mother. I laughed too but at the same time, the others gave an encouraging word due to the fact the mother had left the bride alone. Anyway, he was cute enough and even at the end, nobody recognized Vanessa Minillo. That was the funniest part of all. Hee hee hee

Hell's Kitchen is down to 4 people now. Let's see, Ed, Nilka, Jason and...who knows fell by the wayside. There was a lot of making dishes whether they had to look like art or taste gourmet on a budget. On one episode, Jay and Holly seemed to get very cozy on their prize ride in the Goodyear Blimp. There's not much choice since Ben is quite homely. He even won a makeover for a magazine cover shoot and it didn't help much. Jay's a blue haired troll but when there's only 2 men in the house, pickin's are slim. So it's Autumn, Jay, Holly and Ben. So far, Holly has passed all the tests and I think she's a good pick for the winner.

Gordon Ramsay's new show, Masterchef, had it's debut. 3 judges tasted dishes and decided the roster for the season. Some of the people were put through because they were good drama. Graham Bowles liked dishes that Ramsay didn't. I loved that because Americans eat better food than Brits. Brits tend to get their flavor from animal fat and Americans tend to use more herbs and spices. As for the 3rd guy, he wasn't a chef and seemed like his palate was ruined from licking to many boots and putting his nose up too many asses. Whatever. We'll see what the season holds.

America's Got Talent is doing it's group of 12, with only 4 being chosen by America to move on. The 3rd week, America made some good choices too. I'm not sure I'd pay to watch Future Funk though. I really liked the sad sack dry humor of the bad magician but he really blew it when he decided to do a stupid stripper show. That was the first time I've ever seen all 3 judges buzz the person this late in the game. I'm getting sick of the sappy backstories. Nobody who goes to Vegas gives a damn what kind of disorder singers have or what impoverished history they have. They just want a great show and their money's worth, at that. At least Ronnith is out. Last week Haspop and the girl singer with the weak voice were voted through. Really? Did the real voters give up? At least the belly dancers are out.

Top Chef lost Tamisha 2 weeks ago when her cold dish landed her in the bottom with Kenny. Since Kenny had won a couple of challenges, I was sure he wasn't going. Last week, the guest judge was a representative. Really? Of all the great palates in the USA, you pick Joe Schmo from the House? Whatever. Anyway, for the quickfire, the chefs had to fit their food on a toothpick. Angelo won, again even though he didn't like that his tiny dish consisted of meat in a cucumber cup. What's wrong with that? Cucumber is refreshing and crisp and won't mask any delicate flavors. For the elimination, the chefs had to make a power lunch. I don't think it's a good idea to have the whole show about politics. I already dislike my government and wanting to vomit after a show about cooking isn't good. Why more politicians commenting on the food? Isn't their favorite dish a hundred dollar bill between 2 slices of bread? During the cooking, Ed lost his pee puree Everybody thought Alex took it. I say, Ed needs to keep an eye on his food better. Pageant queens can tell you, in a contest, you never leave your stuff in the presence of your competitors. Ironically, Alex won and got his picture on the wall of The Palms. I feel sorry for them. Alex's face will peel the paint off of the walls. I loved that you could see steam rising off of Ed's head but he stayed quiet. Good man! Who got the boot? The blonde Miami chick.

I missed Work of Art. Sorry people.

Project Runway is back. This show had 17 contestants and all the quirky types showed up. Were the designers settled into their new digs with champagne? Of course not. They each had to make an outfit out of a piece of clothing from another designer's suitcase. For goodness sake. When Heidi asked them to choose a piece of clothing from their suitcase, what did they think they were going to do with it? Model it for Heidi and Tim? I would've picked my rattiest thing right there. So we heard a lot of oh my favorite this and that. Whatever. If you can afford $1000 for a pair of pants, you don't need the prize money. The designers only had 5 hours to do their look but luckily, they didn't have to do the field trip to Mood. Some of he pieces were weird, some were sparse, some were butt ugly and some were cute. Now I can tell I have no sense of fashion because the dress I thought was ugly, won, and the dress I thought was cute, lost. The question was, how many designers would be sent home? One designer was lambasted for making pants out of pants. The one with the cute dress was criticized for bad styling. Sure, Lindsay Lohan goes out with nothing matching because she's so drunk she can't see straight, but everybody thinks she's a fabulous fashion plate. But a designer puts a pink purse with a blue babydoll dress and the judges don't like it. Hmmm... I'm thinking, the judges are getting too old to judge. What did we really learn? Nina Garcia can speak spanish. People with Hispanic last names really can speak spanish.

I miss Models of the Runway. I guess they're not doing it this season. Instead, Santino and Austin Scarlet are going around the country making dresses for girls who need fashion help. This week, it was a cowgirl. She was a trickrider and the funniest parts of the show were when Austin rode the horse standing up on it and when Santino was trying to find good material in a dimestore. Very funny. They ended up making a dress out of a picnic tablecloth but whatever. For a hick girl, it was high fashion and she was happy. Santino had a smirk on his face the whole show.

RuPaul's Drag U is the funniest thing since...well...Dragrace. Last week, the guys made over ugly ducklings. I'd like to say, these weren't the ugliest women in the world. One girl was just a wallflower who was too close to her mother. Oh boy! It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful the drag queens are. Raven, Nina Flowers and Raven's best buddy from Dragrace were the professors this week. The lessons were hilarious. I especially liked the Asian/oriental girl trying to be sexy eating a strawberry lying on her back and choking. The transformations were amazing. I just wish they'd show more of the makeup work because that's what I find amazing. Taylor Dane was the guest judge and well, who really cares who wins. They're all winners because they looked fabulous!

Finally, The Next Food Network Star is whittling down. Sarena was booted last week. Yo, girl! Don't let others tell you what to cook in a cooking competition. Unfortunately, she made a pasta dish that wasn't good. All the Italians cringed. They were supposed to be making dishes for a supper club and those people like unique posh food not something that comes out of grandma's crockpot. Last week, the fatigue was showing. The chefs had loved ones who brought in an ingredient they had to use in their dish and everybody cried and bawled. Oh brother. I think only one chef pointed out he made his most unfavorite food taste great. Then the contestants had to cook a dish based on an emotion with Eva Longoria in attendance to taste it. Aria and Brad were the only people who forgot to mention their word and the judges had to ask because it wasn't obvious from their dish or story. Ooooh, I was hoping Aria would get the boot this week, but nope. Brad was sent home. I really think Aria is disengenuous and one of those chefs who'll never acknowledge their food tastes bad. They think something's wrong with the taster.

On the cooking channel, they have an after party with Adam Gertler, Kelsey Nixon, Sunny Anderson and one of the judging panel. It's so cute that they use past losers who were actually better than the winners. The show is fun and Gertler asks the right questions like, "What happened?"

Well, that's all. See you next week!

Great Summer Shows

2010-07-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad to see The Closer and Psych back for the summer. The Closer is different. They've cut out a lot of that private life stuff about Brenda and Fritz and have more of the case and the sqaud. I like that because the guys who make up Brenda's squad are really great. Seeing the same guys back kind of makes you feel safe and cozy but it's not very realistic. They seem to have more actions scenes and that's more fun for everybody. I'm just sorry we don't get to see Joel since they made us fall in love with that kitten last year. I'm wondering when they'll bring Brenda's parents back.

Psych is also different. The writers forgot these guys are supposed to be immature, wild and crazy. You also had the sense that no matter how dumb and goofy Shawn and Gus were to each other, they would always be best friends. This season has lost some of that. Are they trying to mature Shawn? What fun is that? I have a feeling contract talks resulted in more of Shawn's Dad and the Captain having more scenes but truth be told, they're kind of boring when they aren't with Shawn. I always thought Shawn's Dad was just grumpy with Shawn because he drove him a little nuts; hence the baldness. But now we see, he's just a grumpy old man. Too bad because Corbin Bernsen is so much better than that. Let's hope the show lightens up again and to all those people who say the show is unrealistic? Well, yeah. All of TV is unrealistic. You want realistic? Visit your own police station for a day.

True Beauty was down to the final four. The contestants had to be blackjack dealers. Nobody expected them to be great at it but they did expect them to suck up their mistakes, own them and get over it. Amy was nice enough to people during the teaching but did not hold it together during the actual playing and dealing. I thought I was the only oriental who couldn't do math. She sucks more than I do but at the same time, is very self conscious about it and wouldn't let it go that she sucked at dealing blackjack. She and Craig were put up for elimination. I couldn't believe she didn't pass the final hidden challenge which was to help a lady struggling with her luggage. I realized, Amy's not heartless, just kind of clueless. She didn't ignore the lady struggling with the luggage, she was just oblivious to it. In the end, Amy was given the boot. I guess witless isn't beautiful. I still have yet to see any of the contestants recognize Vanessa Minillo. Get over yourself girl. Nobody noticed you on Nick Lachey's arm.

I used to call America's Got Talent, America's Got Bad Taste. I have to rescind that. 12 acts showed their stuff in L.A. and I think America really did make the right choices. That black light defying gravity act is incredible and mindblowing, Future Funk is cute and fun, the singing sisters are really good and the 4th act...well I can't remember but I they were deserving as well. All I know is, the airband and hand whistler are out and that shows America's not accepting dreck and stupid. I can't wait to see what's next.

So You Think You Can Dance had yet another injured dancer. What's going on? In the first place, the competition is really tight since half of the dancers are the fan favorites from past seasons chosen to stay on the show. People can't afford to be hurt for even one week. Billy Bell landed on the bottom again. One think I've noticed, people like to see women dance with grace and the men dance with strength. Bell needs to pump some iron or something. In the end, the injured dancer, Ashley, was eliminated which is only fair.

Top Chef had the chefs cook with Maryland blue crabs. That was interesting. People had a lot of complaints of animal cruelty on the blog comments. I wanna say, "Get over it." Crabs are big water spiders. I don't see people killing spiders in a humane way. I kind of enjoyed seeing the different ways the chefs dispatched the creepy critters. In the end, the top 3 dishes had an Asian flavor. Ed won and got immunity. For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to go to a farm and use fresh ingredients and serve dishes family style. There was a lot of arguing over how to split the teams and dishes. The men shouted and postured while the women sat and rolled their eyes. For a show trying to emphasize politics, there was absolutely no democracy there. In the end, they decided to pair up the same way they had in the previous elimination challenge. I thought that was kind of dumb but okay. So 6 teams of 2 doing one dish each? The dishes should've been spectacular. In the end, Kenny finally won for his sweet and sour curried eggplant. Really? I thought it kind of looked like something in a baby's diaper. Tim was sent home for not having a clear vision in his dish. He started out to make a puree of vegetable and somehow backed out of it fearing the dish would get cold. It's easier to keep a puree warm than chopped up roasted vegetables. Whatever. His palate was always questionable anyway. Hopcraft better pull his finger out if he wants to stay in the competition. I love Eric Ripert as a judge. He's authoritative without sounding snooty and he's really sexy too.

Hell's Kitchen wasn't shown this week in order for some sports thing. Don't we have enough sports channels for that stuff? Whatever.

Finally, on The Next Food Network Star, the contestants had to first do an on camera presentation of an appetizer for a party. They each were given a certain theme and 3 mandatory ingredients. The guy with the cap finally pulled his finger out and showed a little personality. Others showed they had a bad day. It seems Aria has used up all her material. I'm wondering if the people are suffering from lack of sleep. I find in most reality shows, this is the case. For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to do an upscale version of an old dish. Aria somehow thought deepfried battered shrimp were like pigs in a blanket. Okay. Artie is my favorite but she completely lost part of her brain and had a bad week. I have never thought Brianna was very strong and she was sent home. I think Herb may be next. We'll see. Fogelsong is driving me crazy as a judge. She gives dumb critiques and for some odd reason, I don't think she has any credibility. Maybe she should straighten her hair and wear less makeup once. She seems floozyish. Tuschman is just too nice and he comes across as a nerdy wimp. I think they should utilize Giada DeLaurentis more. She's likeable and smart and makes everyone around her seem that way too.

It seems Project Runway is returning next week. Can't wait! See you next week.

Really, People? Really?

2010-07-13T21:16:00.000-07:00

On Hell's Kitchen, it was time for the chefs to prove they have a palate and can cook fine dining stuff. This was hardly a surprise. First Chef Ramsay did his thing by cooking something packaged and disguised. It gives the ass-kissers a chance to stick out. So most everyone oohed and ahed over the microwaved frozen dinner. I loved the backpedaling after the truth of the food was revealed. Isn't it nice that Chef Ramsay calls their palates donkeys' backsides instead of asses? I still don't understand why we can't say ass on tv. God we live in an uptight society. Anyway, I digress. Fran bragged about having a good palate and proved otherwise. Personally, I've never tasted fresh coconut that tasted like potato. The blue haired guy won the challenge for his team. I'm not sure what the prize was but whatever. The teams then had to come up with their own menu for dinner service, but first let Chef Ramsay taste them. He's no dummy. The red team's dishes didn't taste good except for the desserts that Holly made alone and the blue teams dishes were deemed pedestrian. Dinner service was impressive because Susan Fenniger and Mary Sue Millikin showed up. The blue team must've beefed up their dishes because they had more customers than the other team. Even so, the red team still couldn't keep up due to Fran and her ineptness. In the end, it was evident. Fran was put up for elimination and Ramsay finally gave her the much deserved boot. Autumn was switched back to the red team. In the 2nd half, the teams were given a 10 pound lobster to make gourmet dishes for the luxury challenge. I have to say, a 10 pound lobster doesn't have as much meat as you'd think. Most of the weight is the shell and the front half of the lobster that only the orientals seem to eat. Poor Nilka was totally out her element and it showed. I was surprised to see nobody made a thermidor but they did poach it in butter. This time, Holly won the challenge for the red team and they won a huge shopping spree which is great for the women. Poor Ben probably got stuck holding the purses. I think Chef Ramsay does this reward just to watch the ladies change clothes. Whatever. Meanwhile the 3 remaining men of the blue team had to clean the dorm and then prep both kitchens. They started to panic when time was nearly up and they hadn't even begun to prep their own kitchen. I thought it was admirable that they prepped the red kitchen so well. I probably would've said, "Oops, I forgot." about a lot of things, slap dashed the first kitchen and made sure mine was in order. Luckily, Ramsay combined both teams into one. I'm convinced the meat station is probably the hardest thing to work because if the chefs are off at all, they really suck at that one and it's sunk many a chef. This time Nilka was so frustratingly bad, Chef Ramsay threw her out of the kitchen and the show. She really fought the ousting and Ramsay took the time to say goodbye in person before she got into the car. For a little more drama, the teams still had to put up 2 people for elimination but nobody else was eliminated. It did, however, reveal who had the least respect of the chefs.

America's Got Talent was in Vegas this week. Okay, we're at the point that the judges need to consider, would people pay money to see these acts? Poor Piers. He seems to be the only one with the good taste. I'm not sure what Howie and Sharon have been drinking but some of the acts put through were surprising. The people were split into 3 groups. Group A were the acts who had to do their thing again and prove their greatness probably because there were so many of their kind e.g. male singers, magic acts, dancers. Group B were the runner-ups. After Group A acts were weeded out, any open spots could be taken by Group B acts. Group C was small and were the acts that didn't have to audition again. I was disappointed because I would've loved to see that human light show thing again. It was so totally cool. I was really disappointed that Prince Poppycock wasn't in Group C. He was the best entertaining show singer I've ever seen since Nathan Lane. I want to ask, how the hell did Sally the scary looking singer make it into Group A? In the first place, she can't sing. In the 2nd place, she's freaky scary looking. She looks like one of those puppets that ventriloquists used to use in the old days. The only thing that made them not too scary was the fact that we knew they were being held onto by the human. Sally's just scary and she they let her go on wayyyyyy too long. Who were the hicks in the audience square dancing to her music? Poor Piers looked tortured the whole time and Nick Cannon finally had to pull her off stage 9 minutes too late. Later in the show, they told a person they could've been disqualified for going over his time by 15 seconds. Good Lord! Why wasn't Sally DQ'd? Other acts who I didn't like at all were Roland the terrible impressionist, the hand whistler and the air guitar band but were also put through to L.A. Really? I'm thinking, they've picked acts that America will vote off first to give the mediocre acts time to warm up to America. Okay. To those who messed up that this stage, get your shit together before you go on national tv you idiots.

Top Chef finally didn't mention politics. The quickfire challenge was to make babyfood. I was afraid Chef Colicchio and Padma were going to drag out their bambinos but, whew, we were spared that. The chefs also had to make an adult version of the dish too. It was suprising to see, chefs aren't nutritionists. Don't they take a class like that in culinary school? I expected dishes with ginger and mint since they're very good for baby digestion but nope and the dishes seemed a little rich with heavy meats, fats and spices. Why are people afraid to put eggs and honey in food for babies? In the old days, that's all a lot of people had and people lived. Jeez. No wonder all our kids are a bunch of pansies. No wonder we also have a ton of girly boys running around. I think Kenny won. Then they had an interesting elimination challenge cooking for an international hotel chain. All the teams of 2 cooked a breakfast dish, then 2 teams were chosen to be the best and didn't have to cook anymore. The remaining teams had to cook lunch. 2 teams were chosen best and didn't have to cook dinner. From the last 3 teams came the winner team and the team eliminated. In the end, braised short ribs were the winners and the undercooked squid ink pasta chefs packed their knives. The gay Filipino guy and the old Home Ec teacher were booted. I find it very interesting that people who are the bosses of their own kitchens or classes can not cook. I guess it's true. Those who can, do and those who can't, teach. Bye!

Work of Art people had to do a schill piece this week. First they drove or rode in a certain brand car to the show room. The stupid car is so unimpressive, I can't even remember it. I think it was Audi becaused one artist used that word a lot in her art piece. I'm sure Audi execs were hoping she'd win. Whatever. I was glad to see the other artists weren't that commercial and didn't use the logo or name. I was wrong last week. The Christian illustrator artists wasn't booted and the weird lady was. This week, the Christian illustrator lady was booted. Jackie is so narcissistic. Her art piece was pictures of men looking at her. She won and I didn't understand it. I really like Abdi's work and hope he wins since he never seems to whine about anything like the other artists. As long as Sarah Jessica doesn't show up, it's a good show.

So You Think You Can Dance was disappointing. Alex tore his achilles tendon and couldn't dance and it was his kiss of death. It's only fair. In a show about dancing; you have to dance. Sorry to see you go Alex. They still had to have a show so they went through the stupid motions and just panicked the other 2 who landed in the bottom. I'm wondering why they always dress Billy Bell in a skirt in the group dances. Does he volunteer for that? I notice, America likes to see strength in male dancers and grace in female dancers. Bell may have amazing dance skills but dances like a girl. I don't see him going too far in this small group.

Law & Order: Criminal Intent had it's season finale and it was brilliant. The perp was a multiple personality and an unknown actor. He must've killed the audition because not only was it a brilliantly written show, but it was also a chance to act with F. Murray Abraham and Jeff Goldblum. OMG and Wow! I'll miss the show and I hope it doesn't stay away too long.

I have to mention Danielle Fishel and her show The Dish. This tongue in cheek clip show just cracks me up all of the time. Yes, it's a clone of The Soup, but something about Danielle's sarcastic delivery of her critiques is just too funny and they also throw in a few more mini skits that make fun of the shows. Keep it up girl. It's too much fun.

Well that's all for now. See you next week people.

Oh Those Summer Shows

2010-07-05T17:10:00.000-07:00

Hells Kitchen is having a good season. It seems most of the chefs can actually cook and the ones who can't really stick out like sore thumbs. This week Benjamin's working with the women and seems to be leading them well. That's because he can actually do what he asks people to do. It was a double episode again. The first one the chefs were going to cook for an old couple's anniversary celebration so they had to make dishes for them first, for the reward challenge. I'm thinking, throw everything into the blender so the old couple won't think anything's tough. The teams had to do versions of the couple's dishes from their wedding. OMG, talk about the most white bread dishes: chicken kiev, steak diane, trout almondine. In the end, the women won. What did they win? Lunch at a 50's diner. Oh boy! That was pretty freakin' lame. I would've probably opted to get more sleep. At dinner service, it didn't go too bad. The red team were determined to be the losers but the real loser was the little Italian chef because even though his team won, he was booted anyway. I think Chef Ramsay really lost respect for him when he found out he didn't go to school. It's free in the USA, why wouldn't you go to school? For the 2nd episode's reward challenge, the chefs had to make signature sandwiches. Siobhan proved she's not only homely as a cement wall, but she's pretty stupid too. Benjamin had no respect for her and when they had to have someone sit out the judging, he voted her sandwich out after just looking at it and of course the whole team went with it. Fran had a soggy sandwich and the women lost. What did the men win? They took a private jet to a winery and had a bit too much vino during the tasting, while the women prepped both kitchens. There must be someone watching over everything because wouldn't that be a good time to sabotage the blue team's ingredients? The blue team came home half drunk and then finished themselves off by drinking more. Ed bared all in the hot tub. Darn that fuzzing out censoring. Anyway, the dinner service was so bad, Ramsay threw everybody out of the kitchen. One dumbass diner brought his undercooked steak up to the pass himself to complain and said, "I could've been poisoned." Ramsay pointed out that some people actually eat steak raw. Way to show your stupidity on national tv you ignorant putz. The blue team sunk themselves by being hungover. It's interesting to watch hungover chefs cook. It explains a lot of things that happen in restaurants. Ed, Fran and Siobhan were put up for the boot. Finally, Siobhan was booted. It's about time cuz she's been the albatross of the team since the beginning.

America's Got Talent has had an interesting season. I don't agree with the judges letting old people go on to Vegas just because they have spunk. I don't care to watch the gimpy old lady whistling through her hands again even though she did it pretty well. I also think that singing old lady was truly horrible and her story was just pathetic. So people are able to make it through with a pathetic story? Whatever. I don't give a rat's ass about their pathetic lives and Piers should never back down just because he feels sorry for them. So this week, we should be in Vegas and maybe the judges will face reality and boot some of the dumb stuff they let go through. What are they going to say? We let you get this far but you truly don't have talent. We just felt sorry for you and thought you should see Vegas before you die; so bye now. Uh huh.

So You Think You Can Dance is going to have a very short season. The dancers all did really well but the people who haven't trained in everything really stick out. That tap dancer girl did her ballroom dance so flatfooted and wooden, it looked like Pasha was carrying a mannequin around the stage. She was terribly out of rhythm too which is very strange since tap dancing is all about being on the count precisely. I'm thinking, she's not had official tap dancing classes and just learned from watching Shirley Temple movies. In any case, America was right in not giving her the votes and she was booted. The problem is, these dancers are quite uninteresting and we don't really care who goes.

Top Chef had it's chefs make pies for the quickfire. First we had to listen to almost all of them declare they weren't pastry chefs. Does this mean they don't make any pot pies or anything in a crust? When they're in culinary school, they learn a little of everything. So...whatever. I loved the judge telling them, "My grandmother isn't a pastry chef either but she can make a pie." That shut them up. The thing about pie dough is, you can really make it from how it feels and it doesn't require complicated ingredients. It was surprising how ugly some of the pies turned out. Kenny won this one. I was surprised nobody made any deep fried pies since the ovens were really being over worked. Usually, I don't like fruit pies but the deep fried ones they make in the South are really good. For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to grill outside for interns. These chefs are really quite lame and can't seem to work with common cooking things like grinders and grills. This season should be called Excuses, Excuses. What a bunch of freakin' whiners. Hello chefs. Your job is to make it work, so shut up and do it. You can see deep disappointment on Chef Colicchio's face during the show. I'm getting tired of the government angle on this season. How about the fact that they're in Maryland? Why don't they make them make signature crabcakes? Whatever.

Work of Art had a really creepy episode. The artists first toured an art gallery showing an artist's work. His thing? His art is shocking and thought provoking. When I found out the crucifix was photographed in a tank of urine, I was grossed out. So the artists had to do shocking and thought provoking art. Most of them thought this meant something sexual. I'm thinking there was a lot of molestation in their childhoods, cuz...eeek. From the crazy guy with dirty hair who did an self crossdressed S&M picture to the guy who painted a guy blowing himself to the girl who photographed herself naked again to Myles ejaculating on his drawing. Double ick! I was glad to see Abdi won cuz his art had nothing to do with sex but was really good and thought provoking indeed. She wasn't an artist; she was just weird. It was a double elimination and the sweet Christian mid-western looking lady was booted. I thought her rendition of a messed up bunch of people grouped to look like the Last Supper was quite good. I guess that proves I don't know art. The guy who won last week and did the painting of the guy blowing himself was booted too. Maybe I do know a little art. I wish that fat lady who put herself in her art would've been booted. Her thing was gross and stupid. She had a homeless cardboard box shelter, sat in front of it wrapped in plastic and looked like she was spreading her poo on her belly. Triple ick!!! She's not an artist. She's just icky weird.

I watched a little Design Star and it seems to be a run of the mill elimination competition show. I don't understand good design so I think it's very subjective. It seems the kiss of death is not finishing your project.

Okay, so that's about it for now. I see The Closer is returning and I can't wait. I just hope they do more than 4 shows for the season.

Bye for now!

Summer Fun

2010-06-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

It's the lazy days of summer. The long running reality shows are getting musty and the young guns come out to play. There are some old ones in the summer too but they just seem more fun.

So You Think You Can Dance has new people paired up with veterans from past seasons. This makes for a very tight elimination because they're not kicking off one of the veterans. I noticed, the veterans weren't even in the running. So they're just kicking off one person a week. Thank the gods it's going to make for a very short season. I'm so very tired of this show. I just thought the reason I was tired of it last time was because they did back to back seasons but now that I've had a long rest, I still don't like it anymore. The dances just become weirder because everything has been done. The dancers all seem to look like people from the past and now we don't give a crap who's best. Because there's only 10 new people, there's a lot more blathering from the judges, choreographers and Kat Deeley. I'm sick to death of stupid sob stories. The show should be called, Shut Up and Dance.

America's Got Talent has a new judge. Howie Mandel doesn't seem elitist and likes some of the corny stuff. Guess what, if the performer has some personality, we like it. Americans love corny stuff. Piers is very quick on the buzzer but rightly so, most of the time. I like the buzzer. The judges can tell the performer they suck without having to go into long explanation. Now if only they'd have that cane that pulls people off of the stage. One great act was this bunch of college geeks who did a black light thing that made them look like they were floating. It made you wonder if your eyes were working. I'm not too crazy about those hyped up circus acts. Really? Sword swallowing and fire eating? I think I saw one of the worst magic acts ever which was bad because they gave the secret of the trick away accidentally. Morons! One thing I really hate is when they let an old lady go through, who's terrible, just because they feel sorry for her. Oops, they did it again. I hope they boot her quick.

True Beauty has been back for a few episodes. This show is full of contestants with egos the size of the universe. The funny thing is, they're all unappealing as human beings. The guys look like white trash meathead rednecks, there's a stupid Asian girl with attention seeking low self esteem, a gorilla faced loud mouthed black girl who can't hold her liquor, a couple of really ditzy stupid blonde bimbos and a brunette with the worst skin on TV I've seen in a long time. The show has disguised themselves as a contest for "The Face of Vegas" thinking that everyone knows about this show. Vanessa Minillo has some dumb idea that everyone knows her and knows she hosts this show. What really makes me laugh is when a person is eliminated and Vanessa reveals herself to them, they are totally blank and you can tell they have no idea who she is. Hey Vanessa! How about working on your own True Beauty and reduce your overblown ego. Anyway, so far, the men have been whittled down and one blonde ditz was DQ'd for using her cell phone. I say, chuck the whole group and start over. The producers made the mistake of wanting more drama on the show. Hello, mean girls and dumb guys aren't pretty to watch.

Last Comic Standing has really become boring. We know that these are not rookie comics. All of them have agents and have been in comedy clubs for 20 yrs. So far, the taste level is nil. Really? All that body function and sexual dysfunction stuff is funny? I question the taste of the judges. I think the judges are sleep deprived and full of alcohol.

One show I won't watch is Jersey Couture. Really? When I heard that, I thought it was an oxymoron. Since when has Jersey been known for grace, elegance, style and taste? When you show me one girl from Jersey with a sleek look and bun on her head that looks elegant, maybe I'll believe couture and Jersey can be in the same sentence. Meanwhile, even the commercials for the show are making my skin crawl.

I'm totally loving all the housewives shows showing the people going through the economic crisis? One by one, they're eating each other and going bankrupt. I love the fact that they can't seem to understand that just because they don't have any money coming in, they can't spend on high ticket items. The decadence of the 80's and 90's has caught up to all these shallow people. Hee hee hee My schaudenfreude is working overtime.

Top Chef is back and filmed in Washington D.C. If I wasn't sick to death of hearing Obama's name before, I sure am now. The first episode was only 1 hour long and man, the producers had to cram a lot in that hour. The result? The show was frenetic, choppy, hard to keep up with and didn't show everyone's food. Angelo seems to be the chef to beat so far. He won both the quickfire and the elimination. The white guy with the ugly teeth, ugly glasses and ugly dreadlocks to match was booted for his bad dessert. He only had 3 main ingredients. He bought his puff pastry and didn't bake it well, burned his macadamia nuts and the judges couldn't taste the maple syrup. Hell, I can do that and I'm not even a good cook. Note to all. When auditioning for a cooking competition, make sure you can cook first. Yeesh!

Work of Art is really quite fun. This week the artists had to make a 3 dimensional piece of art out of old appliances. I always say, when a person is truly an artist, they can make art out of anything because that's just how they perceive the world. Miles won for his insomniac inspired art which he was also a part of. I thought the guy who did the human figure with the TV head should've won but I don't know art. Tron or whatever that Asian/oriental guy's name is was booted for having a piece that kind of went over everyone's head. It's like college lectures. When the professor is way too smart, he's really boring unless you understand what he's thinking. Bye, maybe that fat egotistic goth woman will be booted next week. I can only wish.

Hell's Kitchen is showing double episodes and I'm not sure why. Maybe Fox is trying to get this show over before they start airing Gordon Ramsey's other show. Anyway, I love it. In the first hour, the chefs had to catch pigs that had collars with foods written on them. Each team had to work with 3 pork products and 3 sides. The pig catching was totally hilarious cuz it was in the mud. The red team now has Scott on the team since he and Autumn weren't eliminated but made to switch teams last week. Scott suggested using the blood sausage with the prunes. Okay, ick. Ramsay thought so too. Nilka has developed a sour attitude which I think is a result of stress and sleep deprivation. Anyway, the blue team won. Autumn seems to be fitting in with the guys on the blue team and she has become their eye candy. Their prize was going to a spa and it's always funny to see guys at a spa. At dinner service, the teams each had their own 2 hours to cook while the other team was serving in the dining room. Autumn had the brilliant idea of encouraging people to send back their food cuz it really ticked off Ramsay. Fran finally pulled her finger out and proved she could cook and Scott was just a lot of hot air. If I have to hear him say, "I work in fine dining." again, I'll puke. What does he do in fine dining, peel the potatoes? So the blue team won that service. Maria was a ditzy mess in both cooking and serving and was sent home. One thing I noticed, man, does she look way better with makeup. Okay so for the next hour, the chefs had a challenge with 5 mother sauces and 20 required ingredients. I didn't know tomato and hollandaise were mother sauces, but I guess Ramsay didn't have time to quibble. Nilka grabbed all the ingredients she wanted to use and made the best dish on her team. The Italian guy couldn't even cook his pasta right and half the women on the red team couldn't even identify their protein. The blue team won again and were treated to a visit to a British pub. I thought, BFD (big freakin deal) until they all got their high end pots and pans. That was really a nice prize for chefs. Then again, I think the best prize was not having to do the punishment since the red team had to clean the ovens, stoves and everything in the kitchen. For dinner service, it was family night with kids. Oh brother. Not only do I hate kids, but I really loathe them in restaurants. These kids actually had some manners so they weren't the typical brats I usually see in restaurants. The red team fell apart and wasn't even allowed to finish dinner service. I don't understand why Siobhan is still there. She's been terrible from the beginning and dumber than a box of rocks. She's also homely enough to scare the skin off of the chicken so maybe that's her advantage. Needless to say, the blue team won. Scott was booted, finally. He reminded me of Matt; just not psycho. He also had a weird palate and thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Benjamin was put on the red team to pull them together. We'll see if he can do it.

The Next Food Network Star does an on camera mini challenge every week. That's smart since that's the main part of the job. I am totally in love with Aarti. She just seems so cool and fun and her food looks good too. With my luck, she won't win. I swear, there are people who have been on tv already as contestants. Zinta or whatever her stupid name is, is really annoying. Her voice, looks, food and the way she interacts with people is terrible. She reminds me of that weird girl in school who always wanted to sit by me. I avoided her like the plague so I wouldn't have to hurt her feelings by telling her to get away from me. Anyway, I digress. The chefs had to pair up. Each had an ingredient. They had to do one dish with it on their own and then they had to do a dish that paired up the ingredients. The food was interesting. The one guy complained that he was working with a home cook. If her food's good, what the heck's the difference? I noticed, in this season, they seem to focus on the kitchen accidents: cut finger, burned hand, stepped on foot, dropped food, etc. Whatever. My wish came true and Zinta was sent home. I was so afraid she was going to win cuz they always seem to pick the person I really can't stand, to win i.e. Melissa and that brunette housewife/mother. We'll see what happens.

Okay, well, that's enough for now. I'll see you next week!

Summer's seasons

2010-06-15T02:29:00.000-07:00

Well, we had a couple of wrap ups but as we all know, the tv universe never stops and new shows come in when old ones go out.

The Challenge: Fresh Meat had it's last challenge. First they showed the outcome of the last exile challenge. Jenn and Noor won that one over Ryan. Bye Ryan. Maybe you'll learn to get rid of the strong people when you have a chance instead of hiding behind them. The last challenge was a long one with the teams trekking all over half of British Columbia. Landon and Carley eventually won the whole thing with Landon pulling, shoving and prodding Carley all of the way.

Top Chef Masters had it's final challenge too. The food was so good and beautiful, the judges had a hard time finding things to pick on. Moonen showed he's a hypocrite by making venison shipped all the way from New Zealand for his last dish. Not only was it not fish, but it wasn't a local sustainable product either. WTF? We have all kinds of venison running all over the USA. Susar Lee made cool looking food but maybe too cool for the fuddy duddy judges. In the end, Marcus Samuelsson won which was good since he wasn't thought to be the strongest. In the end, it comes down to how good you are that day and Samuelsson blew the judges out of their seats.

So You Think You Can Dance is back. Unfortunately, only 10 new dancers were accepted which made the competition really tight. I'm not sure how they're going to do the eliminations because 10 past contestant favorites are back. Are they going to eliminate a whole couple each week? Mia Micheals is replacing Mary Murphy which is too bad because Mia has that bitchy butch thing going on that is so abrasive but then when she likes something, it's like a crocodile smile. It seems she'll like a person and smile and coo but something about her says she can't wait to tear them apart next week. Nigel Lithgow is back with his big teeth and hair like he's trying to pretend he's as young as the dancers. Whatever. We'll see how things work out this season.

Work of Art: The Next Great Artist is a new eliminations show for artists. We all know true artists are kind of those weirdos in school who lived in a world of their own. Well these people are all like that. There are a couple of people who seem normal and then they do one thing and we see the weirdness. I don't begin to understand art so the elimination was odd to me. The artists were supposed to do portraits of another artist. 2 women did art that didn't even look like a portrait. I believe in artistic license but a bunch of dots and lines isn't even art to me. The other lady did a watercolorish looking landscape from Strawberry Shortcake's mind but at least it was pretty and had color and maybe eluded to feeling. The watercolor artist was booted but the other stupid lady was bitchy and better drama for the show. I really hate when they do that. Personally, the ugliest thing to show up on the show was Sarah Jessica Parker herself. What a horseface.

America's Got Talent is back for the Summer. We're in the city auditions stage. I wish the show would show the really bad ones. They're showing some but not a lot. The only standout I've seen is Sir Poppycock who did a number from The Barber of Seville and not only sang really well, but had great stage presence too. I hate those acts that you know can only go over once but are impressive that first time. OMG, we have to sit through that again? Nick Cannon needs to be shot out of a cannon. He's somehow frenetic and boring at the same time. Howie Mandel has better taste than I thought he would and thank the gods Sharon is there to boot those people who can't stay on tune. I usually call this show America Has No Taste but we'll see what comes out of it this season.

Hell's Kitchen is back and really good. This season, they actually got people who could cook. Amazingly enough, they finished their first service. I don't think I've ever seen that before. Ramsey started out the show with the chefs cooking signature dishes and had a gross make-out scene with his wife in disguise. Ick. So far, one chef walked out after harsh verbal treatment from Ramsey and the tatooed punk looking chef on the men's team was booted for just not knowing how to cook. There it is.

Thank the gods Wipeout is back. This show is full of physical comedy and with snarky commentating on the side, it's even better. Good thing it's only an hour long cuz by the end, I've peed my pants and hurt all of my ribs from laughing so hard. Can we say Big Red Balls?

Okay, well that's enough. I know there are a lot of other shows on for the summer but I have to end this blog somewhere. See you next week. Top Chef is starting and I can't wait.

End of Seasons

2010-05-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the time of year when series shows and reality shows are winding up for the year. Luckily, TV never quits so some reality shows are still going for a few weeks and some will be starting new seasons soon.

I want to commend The Big Bang Theory for keeping it funny. This show is a stand out for being different, quirky, and real at the same time. The ensemble of 5 is outstanding and now that Leonard and Penny are broken up again, it can focus on the funny. The audience doesn't feel like voyeurs. The guest appearances are amazing which shows how much respect this show has. Do you have to be brilliant to understand the humor? No, but it helps.

The Biggest Loser had it's last episode before the live season finale. The final four contestants go home for a month and then we see how they do. Why is Koli in Vegas especially to train? Is he going to live that way all his life? Of course not. They had to show Bob and Jillian meeting up with each contestant at their locations. Why? On to the challenge. The grueling marathon. I really felt sorry for Michael because even though he may be less fat and more fit, he's still obese. 26 miles of running can't be fun on the joints and feet. During the marathon, they brought out past contestants. I'm wondering why past winners Michelle and Danny didn't show up? It makes you wonder if Michelle gained her weight back and they don't want to show her. Oh well. Darius showed how strong he was by winning the marathon in the best time ever. Then they all came together to weigh in. This time, there wasn't an elimination cuz America gets to vote who stays in the top 3 for the finale. I never think this is very fair cuz it's most likely that 4th person is going to win the at home weight loss prize since they thought they might be in the final 3. But I digress. The weigh in was shocking with Darius gaining 2 pounds but looking great. He gave a lame excuse of training for the marathon. Oh hello. You're supposed to carbo load the day before the marathon not everyday of the month before. Bob and Jillian didn't buy it. I like it that Jillian tells people right out what a bunch of bullshit they're giving. Once again, I have to say, these people need to remember to poop before the weigh in. Oh well, on to the finale next week. I'm expecting to see some really amazing results.

Dancing with the (non)Stars was the same old stuff. I only watch the results show now and only because I can't write this without knowing who gets booted. The results show was boring and old. They did have the college teams compete and that Utah University team was so much better than the other team, the other team seemed downright geriatric. It seemed quite unfair when you consider the first team was a brand new team and the Utah team was full of people who were majoring in ball room dance. When the Utah team won, it was a real Duh moment. So, in the end, Chad Ochocinco was eliminated along with his partner Cheryl. I thought they were supposed to be on Jimmy Kimmel, but they never showed up and there was no mention of them on his show. Very curious. Oh well. If Nicole Scherzinger doesn't win this competition, I'll know America really does have an influence. She has 3 big advantages in the finale with her free dance. Her partner is a great choreographer, she has the experience and talent to do that complicated choreography and they don't have to do the dance in hold. So big yawn for the upcoming finale. I do want to say, Brooke had the ugliest dress I've ever seen on the show. It literally looked like a potato sack prom dress with potatoes in it.

Top Chef Masters is still going great. It's because they have a good formula and stick with it. This season, there's not as much friendly camaraderie as last year. The quickfire had the chefs making a dish for an olympic swimming champ and Judge Raynor, out of legs of animals (crab, chicken, frog, octopus). I found out through his blog, he was a last minute fill in for a no show who I'm guessing was probably also an athlete. Jay Raynor was very grumpy and had nothing really good to say about any of the dishes. Susan Fenniger won with her chicken dish. I'm thinking she's probably the chef to beat in this competition. She cooks her style and knows what people like to eat. The elimination challenge was a tailgating party. I also found from the blog, it wasn't real but set up solely for this show. Whatever. The only advantage Susan got was a USC cap and apron. Really? Poor Susar Lee; he keeps getting caught in challenges that are really Americana culture and unknown to him. I like his style. He sees what he has to work with and just dives in and makes great food. The judges hated his European semolina dumpling but loved his Korean Beef. Watch out with fusing cuisines. Some really don't work well together. Marcus Samuelsson saved himself with sliders. Chef Mantiano made pizzas on the grill. The judges knocked him for having too crisp crust. Huh? That's what you want in a pizza and the grill does it really great. In the end, Mantiano was sent home but it's the part in the competition where everybody's great and it's not who made the worst dish but who made the least great dish who gets booted. Chef Waxman is looking tired and over the whole competition. I'm thinking he's going to go soon too. Susan Fenniger won this elimination too making her the highest money earner in the competition.

The Challenge: Fresh Meat is really heating up. Wes's alliance has fallen apart from too much betrayal and manipulation. It doesn't matter how friendly you are to people, if you bite them in the butt, they won't ever trust you again and tend to resent it too. Kenny has taken advantage of this situation by picking up the loose pieces and actually being nice to people. The challenge was more fair. The teams had to swim out to a picture of a puzzle, swim to shore and then put huge pieces in place to match the picture. The other people couldn't see the picture or the people working on it so it was totally no advantage to go last. Also, it was a contest to see who could think straight after all that swimming. I love Landon. He's totally cute and smart too. He and Carly won. She's proving to be smarter than she looks. Landon proved his smarts too by going against Wes who betrayed him. Wes and his partner and Evelyn and her partner were sent to the Exile challenge. This time Wes was the block of cement with his partner shouting at him to keep going. In the end, Wes and his partner lost and were sent home. Now it's just Evelyn who should learn her lesson about being bitchy and controlling to people.

I was right about America's Next Top Model. The final 2 girls had to do a commercial, beauty shot photo shoot, magazine cover photo shoot and a runway show which seemed all in one day. My model friend says this is typical except she'd probably have a couple of fittings and go sees thrown in too. Tyra had to prove she's not just a model and did the photography for family photo shots with the 2 finalists. Where was Raina's mother? The runway show was for Anna Sui and had other girls from the season walking in it too. I have to say, this was the ugliest collection of clothes I've ever seen from this designer. It looked like Pippi Longstocking on crack in muted colors. Next time Ms. Sui, wear your glasses when you design clothes. Luckily, these models can make a pile of shit look good. Even though Christa's Cover Girl shot was terrible, she still won. Yeah, in her photo, she looked bored, half asleep and old. It was interesting to note that when they showed her as the winner, her Cover Girl photo wasn't used. I'm thinking, they're probably going to reshoot it. Raina took the loss really well and I was glad to see she finally learned to do a good walk.

Finally, The Celebrity Apprentice had it's finale. I was wondering if Brett Michaels would actually appear and how he'd look if he did. I have to say, the producers did a good job on this finale. They jumped from short scenes with Donald asking dumb questions to showing the ongoing final project to introducing the past contestants enough that it wasn't too stupid. The only things I objected to were letting Blagojevich talk cuz he's an idiot and letting Cyndi Lauper sing. I know it sounds crazy, but I hate watching people sing. It reminds me of those boring recitals I had to attend in school. I have to ask, who did Cyndi Lauper's hair? It looked like they styled her hair with a mixer. The end of the project culminated in the final 2 people having to present their product, ad and commercial to a roomful of execs and people. Holly Robinson Peete was so businesslike it was boring. I found, when Brett Michaels works without a script, he does much better cuz he can be himself. He also showed he really knows what works in advertizing: humor, splashy ads, and celebrity. Finally, we got to see the 2 finalists. Michaels did look like he'd been through the wringer. He was a little gaunt, pale and tired looking but kudos to him for even being there. I'm also thinking he probably had some pain narcotics on board to help him even stand up. The ending was really abrupt. Donald Trump proclaimed, "Brett, you're hired." and then the credits started to roll. Geez. Well at least we did see 1 minute of Brett being congratulated by the other contestants and I think everybody and their dog was happy with the ending. Personally, I think there would've been a riot in the streets if Brett Michaels hadn't won. WTG dude! Now go home and get well.

That's all for this week. See ya round folks!

Woo Hoo and Wah Wah

2010-05-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

OMG, say it ain't so. The news is out that NBC is cutting Law & Order. This series is one of the longest running series in television history and has consistently maintained it's quality while giving birth to other great spin-offs too. Everyone seems to be saying it hasn't run for more than 20 years, but I think it has. I graduated college in May of 1990 and I definitely remember watching the brand new series in the basement of my dorm during college. Anyway, I'll miss this great show but it will live on in re-runs and there are a ton of those.

Dancing With the (non)Stars finally found it's funny bone again with Kenny Main, and his sidekicks doing their schtick. It's great stuff and it was fun. Then they showcased white kids trying to dance latin. Um...I don't care that they're college dance teams. They were terrible. Len, Carrie Ann and Bruno gave very lenient scores. I guess when you throw out a lot of bones, you're going to get a lot of dogs. So in the end, America voted out the last funny lady of the show. I'll miss Niecy Nash and her way sexy partner Louis VanAmstel. I'll eat a donut in her honor. Later on Jimmy Kimmel, she had everybody in stitches including Jimmy.

The Biggest Loser is winding down. This was the last week at the ranch. First they brought back last season's winner. I can't remember her name but she's just as homely as ever. Then they brought in past winner Eric who had gained his weight back. Actually, he looked better than the last time we saw him at the Where Are They Now show. It's a good object lesson; you have to work your ass off for the rest of your life or you'll gain that amazing weight back. Okay, so then there was a lot of blah blah blah. Then they did the challenge where they started out lugging all their former weight up and down sand hills. At each hill, they could unload the weight they lost that corresponding numbered week. It was great to see them really throw that back pack over the hill at the end. Even more impressive; when the first finishers were done, they went back to help the end people. So Darius won and instead of taking the ten thousand dollars, he took the 1 pound weight advantage. Then they did a lot more blah blah blah. So much, I was sick to death of hearing everybody's voices before the show was over. I'm thinking, "Eat so you'll shut up." I do feel for Micheal. He kept asking, "Who goes through a whole season of a weight loss show and comes out fat?" Dude, you're thinner than when you started and way more fit. This time, there was only a red line and the person to fall to the bottom of the weight loss chart was instantly sent home. It happened to be Sunshine but she took it pretty well. It's great to see how nice all the remaining contestants are to each other.

Top Chef Masters had a fun quickfire challenge. They had to cook dishes for the characters of The Simpsons. The judges were Matt Greoning himself, a writer and Hank Azaria. 3 dishes were for 3 of his characters which made it really fun when he'd do the voice while tasting the dish. Even funnier was Susar Lee's saying Marg-a when he pulled out his knife and read it. Moonen cracked up and then corrected him. You mean the whole world doesn't know The Simpsons? ha ha ha Anyway, it was nice to see the chefs didn't go all fancy gourmet. Moonen won with his Sloppy D'oh. Fenniger definitely didn't know Moe cuz she could've gone totally crazy with the dish to go with that creepy whack-a-doo character. For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to work with cringe-worthy meats. They had to do surf and turf with uncommon things like kangaroo meat, monkfish liver, geoduck and sea cucumber to name a few. Susan Fenniger got to choose last but made it work so that she was in the top 3. Susar Lee made culinary art with his dish and won. His black chicken and monkfish liver weren't unfamiliar ingredients but sometimes people can take familiar stuff and really make crap so he did a good job all in all. Chef Jody was eliminated.

Survivor had a huge week. First on Thursday they had a regular episode that had the contestants meeting up with a loved one. I could've really done with less footage of Rupert snogging his wife. Then they did the old throw water from a bucket to partner's bucket and try to fill a bucket. Colby tried to blame his ineffectiveness on his brother with Jeff telling him, "He's been this way for 34 days." Jerri and her sister won. Jerri then chose Parvati and Sandra even though Russel was literally begging with his eyes. I expected a whimper to come from him and boy was he pissed when he wasn't picked to go on the reward. It looked like a fun one with geyser holes and a nice large picnic lunch. They did a lot of showing off the features of that sprint phone too. Russel then blew off steam by promising the guys he was going to get rid of the chicks but we all know that's just steam. For the immunity challenge, the contestants had to hold sticks up against a board as long as they could. Rupert really hung in there but Parvati won. That night, Colby seemed like he wasn't there at all and Rupert took the opportunity to let Parvati and Russel know neither one is really in charge. This time Sandra dug the hidden immunity idol out of her bra but didn't need to use it in the end. She always says she wants Russel out but never takes the opportunity to do it. She knows those heroes can't keep a secret at all so there's no chance of a sneaky attack with those dumbos on your side. It was inevitable; Rupert was sent to Ponderosa.

On Sunday was the finale. We started out with poor Colby dragging behind everybody like the beaten dog that he is. They had an immunity challenge that he actually put some effort into. It was the old balance and hold up dishes on the end of a stick. Colby tried and hung in there, but Parvati won again. At camp, he gave a 'well it's been nice knowing ya' speech and then gave a weak effort to try something with Russel but you know; too little too late. He was voted out but did actually talk at tribal council. He looked like he was happy to go. The next day they did the recap of the past contestants. I thought this was interesting since the remaining people were all from the Villains tribe and wouldn't know about some of the Heroes who were eliminated. The immunity challenge was a find necklaces while blindfolded challenge. I'm not exactly sure how they were supposed to use those little peg maps but in the end, Russel won by a hair. Then there was a lot of discussion of who he wanted to take to the final with him. He decided he'd get a vote for himself by voting off his most trusted confidante, Jerri. That night, Jerri was totally shocked to be voted out. The next day the last 3 had a nice basket of food and relaxed. The funniest moment was when Sandra threw Russel's nasty hat in the fire and then denied she ever saw it when he came a lookin' for it. I agree. Let the nasty little troll wear his buff on his head to cover his bald head. Without the hat, he looks like Grumpy of Snow White's 7 dwarves. At tribal council, it was the time for the jury to speak. For once, the jury members made sense. I think they've all been talking for a good long while at Ponderosa. Jerri was surprised to hear Russel thought she was a sure vote and you could see her change her mind right there. Sandra didn't throw out any bull and basically told people, the reason she wasn't loyal to them was because they weren't friends. Russel tried his old, "Vote for me, I'm the best player here, even though you might hate me." Parvati just tried to distract everyone with her huge buck teeth. Danielle wore the ugliest maxi dress I've ever seen and thought she might be smuggling a person under it. I like the transition from the island tribal council area to New York. They just had Jeff walk over a bridge. In the end, the spoilers were right and Sandra won. Once again, there was a look of shock from Russel when he found there were no votes at all for him. It really is a social game. Then there were a lot of enlightening moments in the reunion part of the show. We found out the island was boring as hell. Colby looked like he wasn't having any fun because he wasn't. The contestants weren't able to explore the jungle, swim in the ocean or do anything. No wonder we never saw any diving or under water scenes. Now that I think about it, all of the fishing was done in those tide pools. That's it for Survivor and it looks like next season will be in Nicaragua.

Top Model had a double elimination. Krista seems to win everything so we'll just skip over the first challenge. The girls had to do ugly pretty poses. You'd think Angelea would run away with this since she's got half of it covered already. Nope, Christa won again. Now the show's boring cuz it's kind of obvious that Christa doesn't have any competition and will walk away with this. Angelea and that plus sized skinny girl were sent home.

I'd like to know, what the heck have they done to the show Chuck? It used to be a funny quirky fast paced show. It was endearing when the geek kept trying to get the hot girl. Now it's some gooey couple show and the nerd isn't nerdy anymore. Ick! I wanna see the fun adventure not the snogging and moony eyes. It's not fun anymore, it's nauseating.

On the Challenge: Fresh meat they had a tough challenge of the teams pushing logs against each other. This time, Kenny let someone else win. Wes taught Landon a lesson about joining alliances and voted him and Carley into the exile challenge against Sidney and CJ. Way to treat a friend Wes. Landon and Carley got to the finish line before Sidney and his partner were done with their first puzzle. I about died laughing when they got to the finish line and couldn't figure out that they had lost. Landon and Carley had already returned to the house. Sidney and CJ really were dumb. I hope Landon joins Kenny. Kenny may be a dick, but at least he doesn't pretend to be something noble.

The Celebrity Apprentice was a total illustration of exhaustion. The celebs had just returned to their pad and poured big drinks when they were called back into the boardroom. There was some blah blah blah and Maria Kanellis was fired. Then I swear, the remaining 4 contestants were pushed right into interviews with Joan Rivers and Bill Rancic. You could tell in their faces that the celebs were so tired and frazzled, they really were at the end of their tethers. Poor Sharon Osbourne was crying at the drop of a hat and nobody could give any intelligent answers. No kidding! I really felt sorry for those celebs. So in the end, Curtis Stone and Sharon Osbourne were also fired. The next day, Holly Robinson Peete and Brett Micheals were told their final task. They were to come up with a new Snapple flavored iced tea, make a 30 second commercial and an ad. Good lord! Will these concept challenges never end? Nope. Brett got Darryl Strawberry and Summer Sanders on his team and Holly got Curtis and Maria for her team. I see they only picked the younger people to return. I think there might be a lot of stress and running around in the final task. They had to negotiate for the flavors they wanted in their tea and Summer was right. Brett caved in to Curtis. Holly's lucky to have someone with a good palate on her team. At the same time, I think Brett's name for his drink is better. If Brett's anything; it's cool. Once again, Holly's commercial sounds like people on fast forward. We'll see who wins this one. I'm rooting for Brett.

Well, we'll see what we'll see. Bye for now people. Keep watching and reading.

Wraps and craps

2010-05-10T02:18:00.000-07:00

First let me start with a big old WTG to the producers and writers of Law & Order. I can tell they're airing the first episodes written and edited after moving to the later hour. Finally, they're at their gritty best. I hear a rumor that S. Epatha Merkerson is quitting the show. That's really sad, but I hope they don't kill her off with the cancer that's been wreaking havoc on her character all season.

OMG, Saturday Night Live had one of it's best episodes ever, with Betty White hosting. For an 88 yr old woman, she's got a lot of spit and fire. I love old women who curse. There's just something so cute and funny about knowing they're still full of spunk. It's kind of like thinking of my Grandmother meeting creepy guys at the door with the shotgun in her hand. She wasn't intimidated by anything. I also loved seeing all the past season women return for a guest shots. It made me realize, I really miss Molly Shannon's Sally O'Malley. She and Betty White kicking up their legs and saying, "I'm 50!" and "I'm 90!" had me rolling on the floor with laughter. OMG, too funny!

On Dancing with the (non)Stars, the dancers did one solo dance and then one dance in teams of 3. I have to say, I wasn't really impressed by anybody. Once again, the elimination show was a bore too. I'm sorry, when you see the same dances all of the time and everything is predictable, it's really boring. Even the old people are falling asleep. So the outcome was, Pamela Anderson was booted. Too bad too. She was really funny and did add certain bright spots with her short quips and facial expressions. Oh well. On Jimmy Kimmel, she was her hilarious self and I really loved her self deprecating tongue in cheek humor. Jimmy liked...well everything about her and you could tell. Her best line? "We can have sex now. But not with each other." When asked how the relationship has changed between her and her dance partner now that they're out of the competition. I LOL at that one. Go Pam!

The Biggest Loser had makeover week and I couldn't wait to see these bushy headed guys get trimmed. Even more surprising? The trimmer was Jonathan Antin. Cool! OMG, the reveals were really cool. The only thing I didn't like was Darius' pompadour. Oh come on! Lose all that bushy hair. Michael did express his disappointment that he was shopping alone at the Big & Tall store. Hey, it's a good lesson for America. If you get 3 times bigger than everyone else, it's probably going to take 3 times as long to look like a normal person. Then the fatties had an endurance challenge. They had to climb a Jacob's ladder over a pool and not fall into the water. In the end, Koli and Darius hung in there for 2 1/2 hours. It was quite impressive. Finally Darius said, "Screw it." and just let Koli have the win. What big prize did Koli win? He got a 1 pound advantage. Whoop de doo. Poor Darius not only lost the prize but then had to endure a lecture from Bob about how his inability to gut through things and stick with a task is why he was fat. Oh whatever. In the end, Koli didn't need the 1 pound advantage. The vote came down to Michael and Sam. Everyone feels Sam's reached his goal and is looking fine, so they sent him home. I loved that he revealed he and Stephanie hooked up and are living together. How cool is that?

Top Chef Masters is in the finals. What a roster of great chefs. The quickfire was the tag team cooking with the contestants blindfolded so they couldn't see what the other's were making. It was cool to see these experienced and expert chefs handle this challenge so much better than the frantic rookie chefs on the regular Top Chef show. Susan Fenigers team won. The elimination challenge was wedding wars. Oh boy! One thing I noticed, nobody whined about how they couldn't cook their style or how they weren't pastry chefs. They interviewed the bride or groom, took notes, and then came up with plans. It's so surprising to see there is no show of egos. Nobody insists that they have a banging dish that should be used. Everybody puts their suggestions in the pot and away they go. It seems to expedite things. The wedding prep seemed frantic but was nothing compared to the Top Chef seasons. As was expected, all the food was impressive except that semolina wedding cake of Susan Feniger. Ew, what a mess. Susar Lee made the most impressive dessert table all by himself for the groom's team and the winning chef made lamb that even the bride (who had said she didn't like lamb) had to admit was really good. I always say, that's the sign of a really good cook. Someone who can make you like a dish that you never liked before. In the end, Carmen was sent home for really not shining brightly enough amongst brilliant chefs. Yeah, corn salad by itself isn't going to cut it in this competition.

Survivor had a double elimination show. It was actually 2 half hour shows crammed together. I'm thinking, they didn't think they could get enough footage of anything interesting for 2 whole hours. What we saw was, they edited a lot and should've gone ahead and made the 2 hours and maybe put a couple of luxury challenges in. From what I'm seeing though, the producers are having to spend too much money feeding the hogs in Ponderosa. Okay so back to the show. They really don't show much of life at camp which makes me believe it's probably the SOS (same old shit) that's been going on. Rupert complains that everybody is lazy, Russell says how stupid everyone is and the girls lay out on the beach. So the immunity challenge is who can keep their arm above their head the longest? While they stand there, Jeff brings out things that the poor starving survivors have been craving for a month; cookies, milk, peanutbutter, food. I was really surprised Colby gave in so quickly but I think his strategy is to look pathetic so nobody thinks he's a threat. The only problem is, he looks like a huge wussbag. Finally, Rupert couldn't outlast Parvati and she of the huge teeth got the necklace. Then Jeff read a clue to the hidden immunity idol to everyone and sent them on their way. They all promptly set out to find the idol. For once, Russell wasn't the one to find it. Sandra kept it to herself too. Rupert pulled a good move and put a hidden immunity idol sized rock in his pocket while Russell was looking. Hee hee hee. I loved it cuz Russell jumped on that and thought he had an advantage. I admired Sandra for not giving the ruse away but at the same time, it kept the people from rooting her out. At tribal council, they decided to split the vote but somehow Candace became the main target with the help of the Heroes who felt betrayed by her. Bye Candace! The next day, Russell still thinks Rupert has that immunity idol and won't let it go. The immunity challenge today is a physical thing ending with a slide puzzle. Russell saves his skin by winning this one. Then, for some odd reason, he totally demolishes his alliance by pitting Parvati and Danielle against each other. I'm not sure where he's going with this, but it worked. Danielle was voted out after much arguing, shouting, accusations and crying. Oh boy! I can't believe the 2 lone Heroes are still in the game and they can't believe it either. I think the younger people see them as 2 weak old farts that they can oust whenever they want. We'll see. For now, there's only 4 Villains to 2 Heroes.

On the Challenge: Fresh Meat, Wes is still trying to keep a steady head in the game and finding it hard. The challenge this week involves swimming to an unsteady horizontal rope ladder, getting across it to a platform and then jumping onto a hanging bag and holding on for 5 seconds. OMG, poor Ev. She and her teammate had to go first and the experimenting did not go well. So eventually, Kenny and Laurel won since they got to go last (they chose the lineup). The bad news? They pick one team to go in. The really bad news? They'll get to choose the lineup for the next challenge too. Is there going to be an end to this? Anyway, supposedly Danny is one of Wes' best friends. That must not be a good thing cuz Danny and his teammate were chosen to go to the Exile challenge. Jill seems wussy in the challenges but her teammate shoves her along and they win the Exile. Oh well. Bye Danny. He was very strange during the season. He either needs to knock off the vino or drink more. I'm not sure which.

America's Next Top Model is still in New Zealand. For the mini challenge, the girls met a hobbit actress. Angelea admitted she didn't know what a hobbit was. I was hoping other people would tell her she's the normal one ha ha ha. The girls then had to do 5 poses in a hobbit sized hole. Boring! Reminded me of the girls in another season posing in that giant bird nest. Christa won the whole prize package since she had won best photo the night before. Angelea was seething with rage. The excitement of the show happened when Jessica tried to heat taco shells over the toaster and about burned the kitchen down. That huge hole with a door is called an oven. Oh well, what do models know about cooking anyway? Then the girls had a photoshoot with Tyra who made funny patterns on their faces by having people hold holey things above the girls. Okay. Wow. Tyra's really scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas. Christa won again and Jessica was sent home for looking too commercial. That was strange considering they had to make Angelea look dead for her to have a good photo. Nice. This week, Angelea only looks 40.

The Amazing Race went back home to the USA to San Francisco. It's not surprising that the gay brothers felt a lot more comfortable on this leg. So at the airport, the gay brothers cut in front of the cowboys by shoving their backpack in place. The cowboys are way to gentlemanly to hit a girl, so they let the gay guys do their cheating thing. I think there must've been a gay steward cuz the gay guys also were able to be bumped to first class once they were on the plane. That's quite a feat since it involves moving 4 people to the first class section without other passengers noticing. The head start kept the gay brothers going all the way to the finish line and they won. Boo! Boy did the message boards light up. Poor Brent and Caite had the worst luck and came in 3rd. The dumb producers let the lesbians do some stupid spouting at Caite which I thought was totally unnecessary and it only made all homosexuals seem even worse. First there were the weaselly gay brothers who won, and then the bitter and bitchy lesbians who couldn't let a u-turn thing go. Jeez. It's the first time I've ever seen ousted racers have a scene at the finish line. It was weird, stupid and classless. Caite did serve it right back by saying, "I'm here and you're not." WTG girl. I finally have some respect for you. They really didn't show Phil during all of this cuz I'm sure he was rolling his eyes the whole time. I was. I was also trying to keep my dinner from coming up after seeing the gay brothers hit the mat first. Oh well. I have a feeling the cowboys will get a lot of media coverage which will earn them more than a million dollars.

The Celebrity Apprentice dusted off an old challenge. The teams had to take a small apartment and decorate and furnish it to look posh for upscale clients. One thing I noticed, they didn't really show the charity getting it's money from last week. That's because Brett Michaels has already won twice before and I think they think the juvey diabetes charity is getting too much coverage. Oh well. Donald made the 2 guys switch teams. Last week, Sharon and Maria had some very unkind words for Curtis and now they were made teammates. How funny was that? I felt sorry for Curtis cuz when you first have to try to smooth the waters, it's really tough to walk on all those eggshells around the people. He won the women over by being all business, working hard and keeping his mouth shut. Holly Robinson Peete reluctantly took the PM role on her team. It was interesting to see how well Brett Michaels fit into the team. He showed he's very flexible, creative and hardworking and on no sleep. Sharon Osbourne was the PM for her team and I about fell on the floor laughing when she told Curtis, Maria had truckstop taste. OMG, it was even funnier when Curtis said he didn't know what that meant but just looked like he understood. After changing her mind 5 times and making people repaint and sort through all the purchased furnishings, her team won. I totally agreed. The place was bright, energetic yet relaxing cuz it wasn't cluttered and had very nice amenities. Robinson Peete decided to do a Balinesian theme. Really? Tropical islands in 3rd world countries never really do seem posh to me. In the end, Cindy Lauper was fired and was quite bitter about it. Oh well. We all have to admit, she was the head of lettuce on the teams.

Well, ta ta for now. See you next week people.

What's happenin'

2010-05-04T17:06:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I missed talking about a show that wrapped up the week before last. What can I say? I can't remember everything, obviously.

Project Runway had it's finale 2 weeks ago. I think the reason I skipped it was because after revealing Mila didn't win, that's all we cared about. The collections were interesting. Emilio was all about color, Mila had no color and Seth Aron proved he definitely has his one style. I swear, his gown was made of the same material that Jeffrey used a couple of season ago for his couture look. So Seth Aron won and that was that. Then they used the Models of the Runway show for the reunion show. OMG, the claws were out and the designers let fly those chips on their shoulders. Jay was very resentful of comments made during the season and took the opportunity to diss Cerri who was sitting right there. Ping cried again and Mila proved, even when she apologizes, the cat can't change her black and white spots. I think this show had the most disingenuous apologies I've ever seen. Just once, I wanted to hear someone say, "Hell no. I meant it and still mean it."

Rupaul's Drag Race also wrapped up. The girls had to do an over the top scene with Rupaul. I think the only reason they liked Tyra Sanchez was because she didn't outact Ru. I did like the bitch slaps during the scene and wished they weren't fake. So finally the ending and...Tyra Sanchez won. I was disappointed. Not only does this drag queen have the deepest voice, but has no personality or energy. Whatever. I wanted Raven to win but we don't always get what we want. Jujube was there on the show but as always, was insignificant.

Dancing with the (wannabe) Stars has finally gotten down to the people who can dance. People were so happy Kate Gosselin was gone, they could've shown a monkey scratching it's armpits for the whole show and America would've loved it. So...I'm sorry to say, I can't remember anything new that happened. I'm really sick to death of them showcasing singers when it's supposed to be a dancing show but at least they show the dancers when they pop out for a minute onto the floor. I'm still waiting for someone to drop a big mirror ball onto Brooke's head. OMG, she's so dumb and dull.

On the Biggest Loser, the contestants went to Texas. I guess now was not the time to do that big 72 oz. steak challenge. Instead, the people of Texas were tortured with half marathons and Bob and Jillian yelling at them. Jillian took the opportunity to visit a school and counsel a fat schlub that she picked out of the audience. Um...when you get picked to be interviewed on Biggest Loser, that may not be a good thing. Way to crush a young girl's self esteem. I'm sure she got lots of kudos from the mean girls in her school. Oh my gravy. Then the fatties had to wrangle calves and see who could corral the most. With Sam helping him, Coli won. I still enjoyed seeing the fatties splat in the dirt when the calves got away from them. What did Coli win? A weight advantage at the weigh in. So on to the weigh in after a lot of screaming from the trainers during the last chance workout. Unfortunately, Sunshine and her Dad both landed at the bottom of the board. Her Dad fell on the sword for her and he was voted out. I think it was good cuz the guy had a bum knee. Oh well. Can't wait for the make-over show.

On Top Chef, the well known chef this week was Susar Lee. OMG, he's sexy from every angle but who knew he was so intense? Jeez, so someone doesn't care for your fancy fruit plate. Move on. Lucky for us, he called his wife and she told him to lighten up and get over it. What a smart woman. The chefs had to cook a dinner for the cast of Modern Family and serve it outside and away from the Top Chef kitchen. What's with making everyone drag their food around? Anyway, Susar Lee pulled his finger out and won and another lady chef joined him in the top. I think this is the last of the small eliminations rounds before the champs get together. Ooooh, I can't wait. To have Susan Fenniger, Jonathan Waxman, Susar Lee, Marcus Samuelson, Rick Moonen and Govin Armstrong in the same room is gonna be epic!

As you know, the Survivors are merged and living together. We have found that Candace is wishy washy and Russell has pulled her to his evil side. With her in the group, she seems like that veal calf you keep in a pen off to the side. You're special alright, but not in a good way. I don't know what's going on with the Heroes but they seem to have lost their fire and are proving why they didn't do that well in challenges. None of them are very good. They broke the people up into groups of 3 for the luxury challenge and it didn't seem very luxurious. Amanda, Colby and what's her name with the buck teeth and fake boobs won the luxury. They got to watch an old grainy movie in a stark room with one bed, popcorn and wine. What? No shower? Bucktoothed girl found a clue to the immunity idol and tried to hide it but Amanda found it and then they had a playground fight over it. It looked like something from 10,000 B.C. Bucktoothed girl won and when she returned back to camp, she was stupid enough to share it with Russell. He found it but didn't tell her. We were left with a scene that looked like those poor skinny monkeys who turn over rocks looking for grubs. This time, Jerri won her very first ever immunity necklace. Sandra jumped ship to the Heroes, but unfortunately, Candace switched to the Villains. Is there a sucker tribe? She should be the chief of that one. Anyway, in the end, Amanda was voted out and I'm glad. She had that tired and sad look on her face and she needed to get booted for once.

Next Top Model went to New Zealand and Tyra did something really cruel. She took the girls straight off the plane and made them do go-sees. What? Even the girls who flew first class weren't feeling fresh. Alaysia was not only late getting back from her go-sees, she was ultra late. Angelea won and I'm wondering if the designers noticed she looked 35? The photo shoot was cool. All the girls wore the exact same dress and posed in a pastoral scene with a sheep. That tall thin black girl won again. Alaysia forgot to cry this time and was sent home. Yay! She was sooooo annoyingly immature.

Smallville has become boring. I don't care how many weird bad guys you have on the show, if the people have fallen in love with the star and the premise of him becoming a super hero, you shouldn't mess with it. All I can think is, Tom Welling has something in his contract about a limited amount of time he has to work. Maybe it's time to change the name of the show and bring out those Justice League heroes that we all really love and want to see. We want to see some great ass kicking with cool effects. Where's Wonder Woman and Batman? Where are the funny lines that used to be thrown in once in awhile. Where's the warmth from the sense of family? The producers and writers need to pull their fingers out and fix this show or just let it go. I'm sick to death of Tess and don't care what kind of stupid past she had. Bring back Lex Luthor and his chessgame with Clark and Chloe.

On RR/RW Challenge: Freshmeat, sometimes it's hard to know who the new people are. For some reason, the drinking has escalated and Wes is busy putting out fires. For the challenge, each team had to swim out to a slanted large board with huge bumps on it that was supposed to look like a climbing wall? That was the dumbest climbing wall I ever saw cuz the bumps were bigger than people's hands. Kenny and Laurel won and that birdy girl and her partner DQ'd with an injury for her. Watch out when sliding on wet boards with bumps. It was so nice of the group to send them to the elimination challenge and Kenny sent another unknown couple. We found out, the challenge wasn't done and Wes' unknown couple returned by default cuz the birdy girl's partner drank a beer before the challenge and was DQ'd. Oh dear. Oh well, no matter. We didn't want to know them anyway. Bye!

The Amazing Race is winding down. The teams were still in China and still trying to get around that pesky language problem. I loved Jet speaking Spanish to his cab driver. Unfortunately, the detectives not only had the gay bros glommed onto them, but they had to do the speed bump and then had a bit of bad luck. Not a good recipe and it ended in their demise. Too bad. Poor Brent, at the detour where he had to take time to look for a pig stamp, he had to pee really bad and Caite wouldn't let him. I really felt sorry for him as he started to get more frantic. Too bad they have that pesky 20 ft rule. She said she had to go too and I didn't understand why she didn't go when he went. Might as well take the time to empty both tanks. Anyway, all I care about is the cowboys are still in the race. Does anything else matter? Nope.

The Celebrity Apprentice had another concept task. This time, they had to do 3 radio commercials for a lighting, A/C and plumbing service. I loved that despite warnings not to make raunchy jokes, Brett made his commercial still with a wink. Guess what. It worked. Even though Summer Sanders has no experience making commercials or writing jingles, she took the boss job. Okay. When I heard she was going to give final approval for the jingles, I about LOL. There is such as thing as deferring to the experts. I wasn't a bit surprised that Brett Michael's team won. His jingles were cool and his commercials didn't sound like the people were on crack. In the end, Summer was sent home. Oh well. She had also used up her rolodex so what else was she good for anyway?

I may have missed some things but there are a lot of shows I can't stand. I hate shows about bratty people with more money and time on their hands than brains. I hate shows that preach at you the whole time and I hate fake dating shows so what else is there? I do love 19 Kids and Counting and it's good to see Josie getting to the normal human looking stage. At the same time, the kids are the same and the family deals with them normal and not stagey. I loved Jim Bob trying to get his kids to eat bugs but he didn't insult them or nag when they wouldn't. For some odd reason, I feel like I learn something when the Duggars have informative outings too. What's not to love?

Okay, well, that's it for this week. See you all next week.

More Mayhem

2010-04-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well, a few twists and turns and other stuff.

Dancing With the Stars is so insignificant the participants are forgetting to vote for themselves. Whatever. The big story is Erin and Maks' hot and heavy romance. I think he's just really co-dependant and she's boring as hell. The dancers did the Argentine Tango and Samba and then swing dance or something that resembled it. Of course the ringers stayed at the top. Whatever. Jake the bachelor pilot was booted cuz nobody cared who he was. I repeat, he's not that good looking out of uniform and they kept showing his birdfaced homely girlfriend. Eyech, time to go home. There have been plenty of stumbles on the show, we just didn't like him. I do have to say, the producers made the most boring elimination show ever. There was no fun or humor and that's what saved it from being an old fogey affair. Zzzzzz... Later on Jimmy Kimmel, I give kudos to Kimmel for making Jake have some personality and finding humor in the most boring guy on earth. When they threw the dance shoes in the fire, I was wishing Jake was in them.

The crying fatties had a fun week. They had a room that they ate all their meals in. The good part? They didn't have to cook. The bad part? It not only had healthy food in it, it had all the bad junk food too. I love the point when the fatties actually get nauseated by eating too much or eating junky food that you know they shoved in by the ton in their old lives. The Samoan brothers are showing they're no dummies. Colie decided he'd do the eating cuz the person who consumed the most calories in a day would get the only vote at elimination. Boy did this guy eat and...he enjoyed it. Victoria was sent home after sharing the bottom with Michael. The original fatties have bonded so it was no surprise that Colie cast his sole vote for her. She was boring anyway. Bye! Go back to your stupid crying Mama who begged you back into the game when you totally didn't deserve it. I found Victoria really irritating cuz she seemed like a 12 yr old in an adult body. Ick.

This week on Top Chef Masters, it was the lucky losers from last season. What a group from Wylie Dufresne to Jonathan Waxman with Rick Moonen, Ludo Lefebre and a couple of others. It was totally impressive and hard to know who to root for. I loved Chef Waxman's laid back approach. When everybody was running around making complicated dishes, he cooked tasty but simple dishes and had time to drink his cocktails and watch everybody else run around. Ludo was so French, he couldn't make pub food if he tried. He still had his French arrogance that really got under the other chefs' skins. I was disappointed that Chef Dufresne didn't use his molecular gastronomy but oh well. In the end, Chef Waxman won and Rick Moonen joined him for the champions round. I missed James Oseland but I'm sure he has a real life. Chef Lefebre has declared he'll be back for next season. I just hope he showers before that. He looks homeless and that's not appetizing at all.

Survivor finally had the merge. We first got to see Russell and his gang chuckling over the stupidity of the Heroes. If I didn't hate Parvati before, I do now; even more than Russell and I hope he hands her ass to her on a platter. So the teams merged and there was no reward challenge. The only Hero who seemed to realize he was in a game was Colby. The more JT talked, the dumber he seemed. "He swore on his children's lives. I know I can trust him." We got footage of Parvati and her fellow bucked toothed crony helping themselves to the bananas and boy, they must be a rare thing cuz it irked the Heroes. Umm...you guys do know you can't just save them forever and you are on a tropical island. Jeez. I'd be more mad about the fact that people sit around on their fat asses instead of fishing or crabbing or gathering some kind of protein. For the immunity challenge, it was the old; Who can stay on a notched pole the longest? There must've been a rule that they couldn't climb to the very top cuz nobody roosted on top. The Heroes fell one by one and Candace seemed to have it in the bag and then just gave up cuz she felt like it. Huh? At tribal council, Jeff asked his stupid obvious questions except the one we all want to know. Jeez Danielle and Parvati, didn't they have braces when you were little? Your teeth enter the council area a half an hour before you do. Okay, I digress. So the Heroes were smugly smiling thinking they had a clever plan voting for Jerri and making Parvati think she was going. After the voting, Parvati promptly gave on immunity idol to Sandra and one to Jerri thus protecting the open people because Danielle earned immunity from the challenge. I loved the look of total puzzled surprise from JT who was voted out. Here's a lesson JT, just cuz the guy's from your neck of the woods doesn't mean he's not a snake. Next time Heroes, stick with the game and give the immunity challenge your best try. I was totally disgusted.

America's Next Top Model may be the next series to be cancelled. It's so totally boring and inane. I thought that mom/model was gone awhile ago. They're kind of starting to look alike. Anyway, the girls had a runway thing and then had a photoshoot that was kind of creepy. They wore outfits made of human hair. It wasn't even sleek human hair. Some of it looked like something they shaved off of Grizzly Adams. Ick. One great moment in the show was when Alaysia was late and the other girls didn't wait for her. She tried to say nobody said anything to her that they were going. Okay, first, you're in a house of girls running around getting ready. Doesn't it give you clue that maybe you should do the same? Second, this isn't your family and nobody's really expected to look after the baby. Third, Raina did give you a 4 minute warning and you didn't hurry up. Not only would I have left her but I think I would've blocked the door so she couldn't get out of the apartment either. So anyway, blah blah blah, Ansleigh was sent home. At least I think that's her name. You know, the mom/model. And...another white girl bites the dust and...nobody cares.

RR/RW Challenge: Fresh Meat 2 was rather interesting. There's definitely a Wes side and a Kenny side. Wes is proving he's not the dick this season and Kenny...well when is Kenny not a dick? For the challenge, the couples had to make their way across a suspended bunch of what the host said was logs. Logs? Those were huge knobbly branches. Ironically, Kenny and his partner had to go first and they still did it fastest. Evelyn and her partner were paired against Paula and her partner for the elimination. Schaudenfreude really kicked in when Paula screamed after hearing the horn that signaled the other team had crossed the finish line. Yay! I've hated Paula every season. She's skanky, horse faced and cries when she doesn't get her way. Ew, grow up. Now the majority of the house is in Wes' hands. Yay! I love to see Kenny squirm. He's going to have to win every challenge from now on.

The food Channel is having some kind of boring old ladyish cooking competition called Ultimate Recipe Challenge. Whatever. The contestants are the whitest, slow people you've ever met and you expect half of them to drag their knuckles on the ground when they go up to the judges to present their dishes. Nothing's really new and the people can't seem to do the simplest things. The judges look just as bored as the viewers. The only bright spot is Guy Fieri who injects a little humor sometimes. He needs to do more. I love when he kind of disses a dish. One time, they offered him a taste of a gross looking dish and he said, "No thank you." Hee hee hee

I have found The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family are really good in repeated re-runs. I miss original episodes but at least they're on.

Law and Order: CI lost it's main original characters but proved it's all about good writing. Goldblum is doing a great job keeping it intelligent, quirky and funny. One thing you'll always notice on the Law & Order shows; they eat and it's fun to see.

Okay so on the Amazing Race the racers went to China. The gay bros and detectives were unfortunate in getting cabdrivers who didn't understand English. The cowboys amazed us once again by showing they can just about handle any challenge thrown at them. I think the main thing is, they just try their best and keep at it until it's done. I loved the teeny midget with the cigarette that looked like a cigar in his mouth. One cowboy, Jet, quipped, "It proves smoking does stunt your growth." Then the teams had a detour and then another roadblock. The cowboys hit the mat first and the detectives got to the mat last and were going to take the loss with stiff upper lips. I loved the one detective, "Why can't they give us a task like kicking in doors or chasing crackheads?" LOL! Fortunately for them, it turned out to be a non-elimination leg and everybody was happy. I love these NY detectives. They somehow do remind me of those Law & Order cops.

The Celebrity Apprentice finally had a money raising task but they combined it with a conceptual thing too. First, we had to watch the winning team leader, Cindy Lauper give the check to the ASPCA. At least there weren't any kids. Then Trump took the opportunity to have his whole freakin' family on TV except Tiffany. The teams were mixed up to be co-ed. The task was for 24 hour fitness. The teams first had to make a work-out routine and then get participating donations. There would be a concept win and a winner of who raised the most money. I loved the concept of the team of Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne and Maria Kanellis. It was hilarious and different and looked like you could do it if you weren't a gym rat. In the end, Osbourne's team won the concept but Robinson-Peete's team won the money raising. Because there have been so many drop outs this season, Trump didn't fire anyone this episode. When you're contracted to a certain number of episodes, it's kind of expected and now was a good time to do it cuz everybody on the show now, wants to be there. The best part of the show? Watching Sharon Osbourne flick her whip at people who were working out. How hilariously wicked was that?

Okay, that's it and it's been an enjoyable week. See ya next time people!

People are sooooo stupid.

2010-04-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

This week on TV was more fun with the real shows than the reality shows; at least in most cases.

Rupaul's Drag Race was down to the last 4. From the banter in the makeup room, it seems Raven is the only realist in the group. First the girls had to make themselves look unique with the same basic black dress in only a half an hour. Panic ensued cuz these guys take a couple of hours to make themselves look like girls. Most of the guys said, "Screw it." and just worked on the clothes and wig. Jujubee was amazing and did the whole makeup and padding but still didn't win. Huh? All the other guys proved they're really ugly without the makeup. Tyra won that mini challenge and had to direct the production of the Diva Awards. For someone who really doesn't play well with others, this was not a fun production for anybody. So the girls did kitchy dancing and lip synching and in the end, Tatiana was sent home. Bye. Sorry, if it weren't Tyra Sanchez, then it had to be you and it's never Tyra Sanchez. I can't stand that guy. Not only does he have a stupid superiority complex, but he's annoying as hell and always looks like he's smelling dooky. Whatever.

Dancing with the non-Stars wasn't worth watching the actual dancing, so I only tuned in to see who got booted off. I don't understand why there's so much promoting of music stars but at least they're showing the pros dancing to it. I was glad to see Pamela Anderson started to take the competition seriously and showed she could dance. Of course she's good at the Rumba, isn't it basically sex moves standing upright? Schaudenfreude kicked in while watching Scherzinger boo hoo about being told she wasn't that great. Guess what chicky, you're not. The judges threw Kate a bone and told her she didn't suck too much. As a person, she sucks really bad. So in the end, Aiden Turner was sent home. Whatever. Nobody cares again. On Jimmy Kimmel, he was such a non-star, Jimmy couldn't think of anything cutting to say so he just joked around with Edyta. When is Edyta going to have the popular person?

Top Chef Masters had only 1 well known chef this week: Marcus Samuelson. He's gorgeous but who knew he was arrogant and condescending? The chefs had to first make gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. Umm...toasting a baguette isn't a grilled cheese. The producers made Kelly eat so she judged the quickfire and that lady who talked about her kids all of the time, won it. Then the elimination challenge; the chefs had to cook soul food. I thought this was hilarious considering most of the chefs were foreign and the only American was so white she practically blended in with the walls. Marcus Samuelson may look black, but he's white. The Hispanic lady forgot her main dish back at the kitchen and wasted a lot of time retrieving it. Most of the other chefs tried to help and ended up burning her Yucca. You guys ever heard of a timer? The judges were confusingly nice but in the end, the Hispanic lady won for keeping it simple. She had to. She didn't have time to over do anything. Ironically, Samuelson was the only person who didn't try to help anybody and he came in second but goes on to the main winners round.

RW/RR challenge Fresh Meat isn't so fresh. The dumb young'uns are even more stupid this season. It seems everybody knows Wes and Kenny are the 2 kingpins in the game. Okay. I like that the rookies aren't being influenced by their veteran partners and it's ticking Paula off. Good. Miss horse face needs to know she's not all that. I notice there's only one big game per show. What happened to the prize challenges? Anyway, the teams had to each take turns holding up a heavy chest under water. That dumb blonde girl proved she's not as much a head of lettuce as we thought cuz she helped Landon win. Somehow, Wes got the rookies to own their vote and Kenny and his partner were sent to the elimination challenge. What people don't know is, Kenny's not as dumb as he looks either. So tatooed goth girl, Sarah, and her partner were also sent to do the elimination challenge and lost. Her partner is as dumb as he looks. Next time Sarah, don't pick a bulked up meathead.

On the crying fatties, AKA Biggest Loser, the fatties were lectured by Susie Orman. Aren't they getting enough abuse from having Bob and Jillian screaming at them every week? Last season's winner, Danny, made his appearance; per his contract. The best part of the show was seeing the players roll around and play in the mud and then drag Bob and Jillian into the melee. It was hilarious! Victoria got her deep psychological session with Jillian; ick and boring. We know what made these people fat. They use food to get over their problems. The problems aren't anything anyone else hasn't experienced so the whole things is pretty sickening. In the end, Ashley is proving she's out to boot the skinnier women and Drea, her friend, was sent home. Luckily, Drea had won a new car in the challenge earlier in the show.

Survivor is proving Russell and Parvati are the only people who have retained their brain cells. The Villains won the luxury challenge that was all about selling Outback Steakhouse. Saying the name 100 times in 10 minutes does not help. It's just plain freakin' annoying. Parvati got the clue to the hidden immunity idol in her napkin and wisely didn't share it with anyone but her BFF; the chick with the fake boobs and the overbite. What am I talking about? They both have huge overbites. The Heroes thought there was an all girl alliance in the Villains tribe and chose to poke their nose where it didn't belong. Now we have to acknowledge, these Heroes never heard of Russell before they met on this show because it was filmed before the finale of the last season and filmed while the last season aired. Nobody has a clue that Russell is great at this game but just looks dumb and innocent. Oh boy, so JT surreptitiously passes his immunity idol to Russell during the elimination challenge. It was a relay swimming and rope unwinding race with an easy puzzle at the end. The Heroes won of course. Russell didn't use the immunity idol, of course, and neither did Parvati. The Villains proved they're not stupid and booted Courtney who always gets blown about by the wind during the challenges. I'm glad to see the producers are finally showing how feisty Sandra is. She has that Puerta Rican fire and the accent to go with it. I love it and I hope she uses Russell to wipe her ass in the end.

Tyra Banks has proved she's running out of ideas. On America's Next Top Model, the girls... uhhh...oh who cares? The photo shoot consisted of the girls posing as New York people on the subway; as opposed to people in Times Square or in the garment district. Whatever. Alaysia saved herself by crying again. Angelea won best picture which is strange since she looks older than Tyra. Another boring girl went home and nobody noticed. Tyra wore a jumpsuit that looked like something I used to own in the 80's with those hammertime pants. Snore...

Project Runway did that episode with Tim Gunn visiting the designers at their homes. I personally, hate this part of each season. Just bring out the damn runway. Mila proved she is Cruella DeVille with her own dalmation running around her house. Everything in her world is black and white; even her clothes. Okay so after all the blather, the last 4 designers returned to New York. Mila and Jay had to show 3 of their looks each and somehow, Mila won the 3rd place at fashion week. What? The judges raved about Jays innovation and cool designs. Oh whatever. I just need to keep the dramamine handy cuz Mila's going to be on the very last show too. I wonder if all of the world is nauseated by her? I had to read Tim Gunn's blog to understand what the hell went on. There was way too much editing on this show. On Models of the Runway the 3 finalists and their models had dinner together and I loved that the guys told Mila they didn't like her. Oh hello Mila, nobody likes you except your mirror image bitch/model Brandise.

The Amazing Race wasn't shown to make way for those stupid country artists getting their awards. Whatever. They should rename the ACMAs the singing rednecks. If they gave out prizes for shucking corn, spitting chaw and doing hoe downs, maybe I'd be interested.

Celebrity Apprentice is getting really old with all the concept challenges. When are they going to unroll the rolodexes and sell stuff again? First, though, they had to show Curtis Stone giving his winnings to his charity. For once, there were no kids in sight. Yay! This time the teams had to make-over up and coming singing artists. Okay. Could they pick 2 more boring people? Goldberg took the PM role even though he doesn't know anything about music or making anyone over. Cindy Lauper was the boss of the women and took it literally. Sharon finally crawled out of her sickbed and we were all glad. Goldberg promptly delegated all the work to Brett Michaels. Man is that guy talkative. Maria Kanellis and Holly Robinson Peete were pissed off that Cindy didn't take them seriously. Come on ladies. You may be able to sing, but you obviously didn't become stars with it. There's more to being a music star than singing so just step back and say, "Yes Ma'am." to Cindy Lauper. My favorite bit of the show? When Trace Adkins told Sharon Osbourne he admired her for working with such a difficult man: Piers Morgan. I fell on the floor laughing at that one. The women won cuz Brett tried to make his country star look like a rocker. He was fixated on making him wear a necklace and it didn't work. Ohh...it was a make-better; not a make-over challenge. In the end, Goldberg was fired. Too bad cuz he didn't make any money for his charity.

I was glad to see the regular shows actually showed new episodes. The Big Bang Theory brought back Wil Wheaton and it was totally hilarious. Seeing Sheldon boil inside with rage just cracks me up too much. The Middle was funny with a real life problem; no money to pay all the bills. Three and Half Men needs to dump that Chelsea character. She ruins Charley's mojo and is homely to boot. The only thing is, if they get rid of her, then they have to let go her father and his boyfriend brilliantly played by Stacey Keach and John Amos. Those 2 guys should have a show of their own.

Okay, that's enough. I was disappointed that Law & Order was a re-run but Criminal Intent was really good. I hear F. Murray Abraham is going to make an appearance and I'm so totally in awe. I can't wait.

See ya next week fellow TV junkies.

I hate the hosts and some players too.

2010-04-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

This week, I saw the end and the beginning. Hmmm...what do I mean? Read on!

Can I just say I'm not liking this season of Dancing with the wanna-be Stars? I can't stand half of the people. The wanna-be's are whiny and the pros are not as accommodating. What happened to the fun stuff like Adam Corolla giving his lecture or take on the competition? It's also very predictable. Nicole and Evan got the highest scores; yawn. Buzz Aldrin is so freakin' old, he's using Ashley as a walker and has to keep hold of her cuz he can't see through his rheumy eyes. Ashley has to keep the dance calm so Buzz's dentures don't fly out. It seems Kate the grate gets bitchier every week. Her poor kids. Meanwhile, Jon is getting all kinds of sympathy without doing anything. It seems Len is taking a little liquid love before the show because he's not his grouchy self. Help! Someone broke Len! I liked him way better when he told people they sucked. He balanced out Brunos love fests. I also miss the looks of, "What the hell are you talking about?" that he'd give Bruno. The only bright spot was when Carrie Ann pointed out Nicole's lift. It doesn't matter who does the lifting; no lifts! It's like watching the teacher's pet get called on the carpet for cheating hee hee hee. For some odd reason, I can't stand Scherzinger. She always has that look like, "I got this in the bag, but I'll play along." Brooke is the worst host ever. She's so boring, the dancers lose their shine as soon as they approach her aura. When they go backstage after their judging, we all take a bathroom break. Poor Tom Bergeron, has to work extra hard to cover the uncomfortable moments. All in all, Buzz was left in the cold and was sent back to his retirement home. Later on Jimmy Kimmel, he showed he was hard of hearing too cuz he didn't pick up on any humor Jimmy was throwing out. Poor Ashley. She got stuck with the head of lettuce again. I'm thinking, I can skip the rest of the season cuz even if the top people get voted out; who the hell cares? The dances are getting old and the dancers are getting moldy. The producers need to not only get stars but get one's that we actually like.

On the crying fatties, AKA Biggest Loser, the fatties had a speed challenge. How fast could they lose 2% of their body weight? They were given their own everpresent huge scale and when someone thought they'd lost their weight, they pushed the button and then weighed in. They only had that shot to make it or break it. Hey, isn't that the name of that other stupid gameshow that consists of college and bar games that you did when you were half drunk? Oh, pardon me. I digress. So half the week goes by and there's a ton of footage of Melissa saying, "I'm going to push the button." She never did. First that new girl pushed it and didn't make her 2%. Really? After only 1 day? Did she think she pooped that much out that day? You could see all the rest of the contestants thought she was a total moron. Then there was a swimming challenge. Good thing the fatties lost a lot of weight. Otherwise, the water displaced would've flooded the ranch. The fatties had to pick up 100 1 pound weights off the bottom of the pool and deposit them in a bin. I think one of the rules was, they could only take 2 at a time cuz I didn't understand why they didn't just load a bunch at a time in their shirt pouch but oh well. When they were done with their own weights, they could help someone else. Just like Survivor, the producers wanted something to show the pecking order on the ranch. Melissa turned out to be on the bottom. Even her fellow returnee didn't help her. Hee hee hee, karma sucks sometimes. Melissa was rewarded with a 1 pound disadvantage. 2 days later after a lot of secret extra hard working out, Sam pushed that button and went way past the 2% weight loss. This guy's not dumb. He didn't push the button until he was absolutely sure. One thing we noticed, Sam has a four pack; whoa! Then it was revealed why Melissa is so good at lying. She's a lawyer. That explains a lot and made America hate her more. It was no surprise that Melissa was sent home; like we couldn't see that coming. When you cry together every week; people tend to get pretty tight knit. Bye bye, you oily lawyer.

Finally! It was the end of Shear Genius. The contestants had to do runway hair and worked with their eliminated contestants. Brig proved she's not as dumb as she looks. Her hair was cool and didn't cover up the clothes. She won. Yay! I'm actually celebrating more, the fact that the show is over. Camilla Alves needs to stick to modeling where we don't have to hear her talk. God, she was sooooo boring.

Thank the gods Top Chef Masters is back. The star chefs have come out of the woodwork with an amazing roster. In the first episode we had Susan Fenniger and Govin with a few other chefs that are probably well known in their own world. The producers are very good at picking who's in each round. The cooking was amazing and I love when chefs acknowledge their mistakes before the judging. The chefs were paired up in this round and won $ for their charity for the quickfire win and the elimination win. That's really nice. Susan Fenniger proved to be a force to be reckoned with because she won both. I don't know how they do it, but the food seemed so good without me being able to smell or taste it. The judges were the same but nicer. That doesn't work. We can't figure out why the people don't get the great ratings. Raynor learned to be funny this year and Gail's still wearing her crazy hats. Meanwhile, that chinese girl/host keeps getting skinnier. Huh? When she turned sideways, I totally lost track of where she was. Maybe she only eats when the show is happening. No wonder everything tastes good to her.

Survivor has turned out to be the Russell show. Good thing cuz I was getting tired of the Probst show. The Heroes are on a roll. They're winning the challenges even though Colby is proving to be the non-athlete of the group. Age has not improved him at all. Jeri doesn't even moon over him anymore. I loved watching Rupert shove whole pieces of reward pizza in his mouth. There were also twice as many pizzas as players on the team. I wonder how much was consumed? Did they feed the leftovers to the natives? What? No schilling of a brand of pizza, beer, soda or snacks? Schaudenfreude kicked in when we heard the Villains whine about not having anything to eat. Coach proved he's not much of a coach and had his weak players sit out for the unimportant challenge so that they had to play the important one. Hee hee hee; we saw that defeat coming wayyyyyy ahead of time. The fun part of the immunity challenge was seeing the contestants totally covered in mud. This season, we rarely get to see the celebration at camp of the winners. So the rest of the episode we had to watch the stupidity of the Villains tribe. Sandra convinced people to vote out the strong player because they were probably going to merge. What? There's still 13 players in the game. For once, Russell didn't vote the majority and the women booted coach. Jeri was devastated hee hee hee. Then we learned, the jury is going to be huge cuz coach was announced as the first member. OMG, the finale is going to be 5 hours if they let all those windbags talk. Yeah, I'm including Probst in that group too. My fast forward button works overtime when Jeff opens his mouth.

Project Runway went to the circus and the designers were told to base their looks on that. I love the way the designers play dumb for Tim Gunn's sake. What? We couldn't figure out the challenge. Oh whatever. Oh Heidi, we're not as dumb as we look. Seth Aron was ecstatic. He could return to his pants and jacket design again. Once again, Jay made something that gave his model huge hips and booty. Is that what we want? Personally, I think every season should have a challenge where the designers have to make men's wear. There were a lot of bright colors; much to Mila's chagrine. Most of the designers made something crazy and the judges ate it up. Unfortunately, the southern belle guy, Anthony, chose to be conservative and was sent home. Nobody can figure out how Emilio wins every week ever since he got Lorena. Ummm... could it be she proved even a burlap sack looks good on her? So we found they're doing the Rami/Chris thing where the 2 bottom designers get to make collections (along with everyone else on the show) but one will get eliminated right before fashion week showing. It doesn't matter what kind of editing the producers try, Mila and her model Brandise come off as bitchy. Maybe they really are bitchy! Anthony's model, Monique, was left in the cold and sent home. Bye! I wish Heidi would give the models a good bitchy critique every week. Like, "You walk like a marionette." or, "You call that modeling a dress?" We could only hope but Heidi's too nice.

Top Model has proved to be very uninteresting. I'm only watching to see when the judges boot Angelea for looking old. Come on! She looks 30 when all the other girls look 12. The models had to pose with fake stuff in the knock-off district of New York. No, they weren't in Chinatown. Once again, they raved over Raina's photo but picked the crying black girl to win. I smell a rat. The mother model was sent home and...nobody gave a damn.

The Amazing Race went to Singapore. This time they not only had a fast forward (it's about time) but also a U-turn. The cowboys got on the first bus but somehow arrived in Singapore in the middle of the pack. What happened? Too much editing producers! Did they have an eating challenge? No. Aw come on. I love watching the racers try to choke down the food in the orient hee hee hee. For some odd reason, the racers chose the detour that they knew they weren't good at. They could either do a complicated drum routine or sell ice cream in hot weather. How did we know it was hot? The cowboys actually took their hats off. I loved the little kids teaching the drum routine. When the racers couldn't get it, the kids gave them that, "You're kinda dumb." look. Loved it! Miss Teen ditzy and her boyfriend got to the U-turn first, danced with glee and promptly gave it to what's her name and Brandy (AKA the lesbians). The gay brothers got the fast forward. Hmmm...I wonder who came in first and last. That was a real duh moment. All we care about is the cowboys and the cops are still in the race. Phil is really fun this season and therefore gets more airtime. That's always a good thing. He always seems to ask the same questions but oh well, it'll take a couple more seasons to get old. I think the racers should have a challenge to do at the mat. Phil has great facial expressions.

The Road Rules/Real World brats are back. It's Fresh Meat II and the same formula as the first. They've finally figured out how to not let someone over run the show. Where's Mark? Oh he's doing the after show. Where's the Miz? Oh he has a real job. Where's Katie and Coral. Oh, they finally got their dignity. Anyway, this season is pretty good with a lot of conniving by the underdogs. A strong team, (Darrel and his chosen girl) was eliminated in the 2 team end challenge that was full of mental puzzles. Maybe the teams will learn not to drink the night before. We'll see.

Finally, the Celebrity Apprentice. The celebs had yet another concept challenge and I'm beginning to feel sorry for them. I think Holly and Curtis were waiting for the big $, selling challenge but it never came and they had to step up to the plate. This time they had to do a commercial for deodorant, a 10 second viral web spot and then a presentation. First, though, Trump had them shoot a free throw basket with the first person to do it winning 10K for their team leader's charity. Trump sunk the first basket to show how easy it is. I figured there probably was a ton of takes to get that. The guys threw a lot of airballs and finally, Kanalis in her 6 inch spike heels won the $. How funny was that? This time 2 women were missing from the women's team because of illness or prior commitment. I can't believe Obama didn't show his dumb face on TV again. He's probably charging too much for Trump. They did take the opportunity to say Obama's name a lot and kiss his ass. I loved that Curtis Stone didn't know what team Clive Drexler played for. No worries mate. Neither did I. You mean the world doesn't revolve around basketball? Peete came up with the cheesiest commercial and the most annoying jingle for her commercial. Ebanks thought a sista wouldn't take a sista to the boardroom and took it easy while the rest of the team did the heavy lifting. Bret Michaels had a health crisis with his daughter over the phone and the producers made sure to get every crying moment on the air. Did we really have to see Brett give himself his insulin shot? Poor Brett, he's so sleep deprived, he cries at the drop of a hat and silly stuff falls out of his mouth at the most inopportune times. Holly Robinson Peete turned out to have an ego the size of New York City but still lost. Haw haw. Ebanks was fired and...nobody cared. Bye, I'm so sorry you make so little money modeling; boo hoo. Whatever. It was great to see the men win and just as I predicted, Johnson quit the show with a family crisis. It involved his kid and it wasn't about health. I'm thinking, he's probably been drug busted and needs bail money. That leaves Peete as the only black celeb; Oh no! What'll they do about diversity? Whatever!

Law & Order: Criminal Intent is back and I'm so glad. Wait. Goren, Eames and the Captain are all going. What? Hey! Thank the gods Goldblum is there to save the show and he does so with his great acting and playing low key but brilliant.

I want to say, the show The Middle has proved to be a winner. It's a multicam sitcom which is a rare thing these days. You know it's really good when the re-runs are great already. All the characters are great, but real. Yes, even Brick is like that weird kid that was in our grade school class.

I'm so glad to see the older characters coming back on Days of Our Lives. The producers finally got smart and brought back the really great actors. The scenes with Stephano and E.J. are totally electric and like watching great Shakespeare. I could watch John Aniston and Vivian Sorel all day cuz they get all the funny lines. Finally, the scenes with Sami and Nicole are like really good food; guilty pleasures. The younger actors are pretty forgettable so it's good they brought back the veterans. Even Adrienne and Anna are back. Yay! Now if only Shaunessy would make an appearance. I would totally be in love again.

Until next week TV addicts. See ya!

Yay! or Oh no! You decide.

2010-04-05T07:53:00.001-07:00

This week, the shows are starting to wind down so there's more airtime for each contestant. Now we get to see when the claws really come out.

Let's start with RuPaul's Drag Race. OMG, this was the funniest challenge. The girls had to take an old guy and make him over into a woman who's kind of related to their own characters. Raven always seems to think everyone is gunning for him. Whatever. He thought Tatiana picked the best looking old guy for himself. Really? I couldn't tell. It turned out the old guys were queens in the closet and OMG, they were quirky. One had a whole keychain of trinkets that hung from his pierced bellybutton. One liked to wear loud bikinis. One hit on everyone with a penis. And the hilarity went on. I don't know what's going on, but Tyra Sanchez seems to win every week. I don't know why cuz he/she looks totally bored and has that creepy low voice. When the girls did their schtick with their old guy counterparts, I couldn't stop laughing. I was so sad that Pandora box lost her lip synch off, but her dresses were truly ugly every single week and when you have a judge like Santino on the panel, you might want pretty dresses on your body. During Untucked, the girls revealed a whole lot of stuff about their old guys. OMG, it got even funnier. I didn't think it was possible.

The crying fatties AKA The Biggest Loser contestants, had a big surprise this week. It wasn't a good one either. I hate when they bring back contestants who were total losers. They brought back practically everybody and there was Melissa with her smarmy face. Oh how much can I loathe the woman? I think a bunch of the other fatties agree. There was begging, crying, a vote by the real contestants and a challenge and in the end, that unknown black girl and Melissa rejoined the ranch. They were given immunity to give them a chance to unpack for at least one week. Because of this, the other contestants started pecking at each other. The blonde butt'er body girl turned on her friend and recruited her buds. The friend didn't make it on the weigh-in and so was voted out in the end. What is this; Jr. High? The girl who went home is a brunette butt'er body (cute face but her body ain't great) so I can't wait to see her at the finale.

Shear Genius is so boring, I can't stand it. This week, the stylists had to...Oh who really cares? It's the same damn thing every week. The elimination challenge was redundant. The stylists had to do 2 looks for a photo shoot that represented themselves and then pose for a photo of themselves. For some odd reason, Matthew and Janeane thought they were supposed to look like real estate agents in their photos. I thought their looks were totally boring too. Matthew always does 80's hair and if that was harijuku hair, I don't think Janeane has been to Japan. Brig finally was able to do her kooky hair and get away with it. Persistence pays off because she won. Yay! Matthew and Janeane were not pleased. Hee hee hee to them. Jon was sent home and didn't seem surprised. I think he was over the whole thing 3 weeks ago. Bye Jon, we'll miss you.

The Survivors had a turn-around this week. For once, the Heroes were able to win a luxury challenge that won them a lot of protein to eat. They must've practiced their basketball skills or James was their unlucky charm. Then they went on to beat the Villains at a puzzle challenge for immunity. Rob, what happened to you? I could see the problem. The puzzle pieces were all triangle shaped so trying to start with the edges and corners didn't work. The Heroes were smart and started with the script on the pieces. It didn't help the Villains that Sandra hogged the puzzle board. Of course, the Villains got all the airtime to show the conniving. Jerri must've dropped her brain somewhere on the island because she totally got taken in by Russell. I was yelling at the screen, "Run away!!!" Then Coach proved he doesn't follow directions well because Rob told him to vote Russell. When the vote came out, Rob was sent home and the other 2 mice (Courtney and Sandra) looked like wandering sheep looking for a shepherd. Russell may be a total snake, but he's terrific at the game. He's not winning any friends though. For some odd reason, I can't stand looking at Parvati's face every week. Her big donkey teeth scare me.

Project Runway was full of first time incidents. Maya chose to leave the competition for no other reason that, "I'm not ready." Okay, I don't get it, but whatever. Instead of not eliminating anybody this week, they brought back Anthony to fill in Maya's vacant spot. Thank the gods cuz Anthony just breathes life into the workroom. This time, the designers had to do a red carpet dress for Heidi. I'm not sure what red carpet Jay, Jonathan and Mila were thinking of; maybe in their back yard or the one in church. Jonathan freaked out when Heidi said she didn't care for his handmade tapestry and ended up doing over the dress for the 3rd time in the 11th hour. Luckily, Anthony was so exhausted, he just couldn't put all that embellishment on his dress and ta dah? It turned out to be a winner. It truly was an elegant black and white dress. Jessica Alba, the guest judge, wanted to wear it. That's a total shoe-in when the judge covets your dress. Heidi likes glittery stuff, so she picked Emilio's dress and he was a co-winner. Anthony is so cute when he wins cuz he looks like that shy kid in school who's so surprised to be picked first for a team. Seth Aaron proved he's only good when he does pants and jackets. Also, his original model, Valeria was wooed away by DKNY, so Cerri filled in. Black is really not her color at all. Jonathan's last minute dress didn't cut it for the judges and he was sent home. Good, now the room will be less depressing. Maybe my prayers will be answered and Mila and her drab dresses and personality will go home next week. On Models of the Runway, Brandise was crabby and critical. Cerri was just as crabby and critical and she was sent home because nobody wanted her last week. When you're a spring pallete, you look best in pastels and these designers hate to work with pastel colors. Too bad. Bye Cerri, we'll miss you again.

America's Top Model had a photo shoot that was totally creepy. They posed as blind vampires in a tub of blood with a dorky guy in the picture with them. Who would want to bite this guy anyway? Raina gets the raves every week. Alaisia is bitchy in the house but nice and meek in front of the judges. Girl, don't ever criticize a model's mothering skills. Janice Dickinson would kick your butt all over the earth. I'm surprised none of the girls call Alaisia out in front of Tyra but nobody's a narc this year. Anyway, that high school prom queen girl went home. She was beautiful and tall but awkward in her pictures and not in a good way.

The Amazing Race was totally amazing. Everybody started out fair on the same flight to Malaysia. You could tell it was a long flight because they started out in the dark and it was bright sunlight when they landed. The sexy cowboys had a speed bump to do. They finally pulled their fingers out and passed everybody at everything and made it to the pitstop first. Yay! They totally rock and manage to do it without making any enemies. The Dad/daughter team did the thing that's the kiss of death. They switched tasks during the detour. They were eliminated. For once, the editors didn't include any scenes with dumb stuff coming out of the mouths of Miss Teen ditzy and her boyfriend (Brent and Caite). The cops expressed their respect for Brent and Caite for showing respect. Cops always like that.

The Celebrity Apprentice was starting to get ridiculous. It had it's 3rd concept challenge in a row. This time the teams had to make a Harry Potter themed experience for avid fans. I'm glad they didn't just show kids being fans. Anyway, Blagojevich and Selita Ebanks were the team captains. Oh boy! The team captains happened to be somewhat remote from their teams so they had to use technology to communiicate. Blagojevich proved he's an old fart and has been asleep since the 70's. He doesn't know how to type, work a computer or use a cell phone. Oh boy! The men took the chance to riff about it. Once again, we had to sit through that annoying presenting of the check to the charity scene. Kids again? Yeesh. The experiences were interesting. I really like the women's with the people going to Olivander's to get their wands. They had great special effects that were actually pretty simple. Selita really should've taken advantage of Sharon Osbourne's real Brit accent but I think she was afraid she'd hack and cough through it again like she did the last time. She did something I really hate; a fake Brit accent. Sharon wasn't amused by it either. The men proved nobody knew much about Harry Potter. They used unfamiliar characters, places and wrong terms. Boooo! I knew that the women were going to win. You think Mother Nature is hard to fool? Try a Harry Potter fan. Thank the gods Blago got the firing. I'm so sick to death of him selling himself to people and his politician boot licking. Yay! Mr. Trump, there was no explanation needed except why was the guy on the show to begin with? When are they going to do a money raising thing again? Piers Morgan would be livid by now.

I watched the new show, Freaky Foods, hosted by Food Networks Adam Gertler. Ummm...people, you've proven, everything has been covered. There was not one thing that I hadn't seen on other shows about eating stuff. I like, Will Work for Food a whole lot better. Adam is fun to watch so it's really too bad he was given this clunker.

One show I'm totally fascinated by is Ultimate Cake Challenge. I can't believe those 6 foot cakes and then they have mini challenges that are fun too. The competitors seem to interact more with each other and they have a tasting challenge too. When they have to move the huge cakes on their trolleys, it's always suspenseful going up the ramp. One thing I notice, even the bad cakes are amazing. Wow!

Well, eebidee, eebidee, that's all folks. See ya next week.

Whew! Saved!

2010-03-29T12:20:00.000-07:00

I was right. The recent shows are starting to get to the end and the really good players are getting put on the chopping blocks.

On The Biggest Loser, the contestants went home for the week. Did that mean they could just enjoy their time? Oh heck no. It was the old, do the marathon and penalize the other contestants by eating a high calorie food challenge. This time it was on stationary bikes and with mini cupcakes. The best part of the homecoming was seeing how excited everybody was to see the contestants come home. It was so nice of the home people not to have a cake and a nice spread. How thoughtful. Anyway, I realized this season has a whole other breed of fatties. I couldn't believe how many of those mini cupcakes were eaten. Okay, maybe you might eat 1 or 2 if you think you might have a chance of winning but if you don't have a snowball's chance in hell, then why waste the calories? They had the families have walkie talkies to keep track of who was doing what. Really? They couldn't modernize that? How about an electronic tally that shows on a screen. For god's sake, if Wii can do it, so can they. So after a lot of screaming by the families and onlookers, Sam won but didn't win. He had so many time penalties he may as well have just sat on the bike and drank a beer. Luckily, Koli was right there with him and he ultimately won the 10 grand. I think I fell asleep because tah dah, it was the weigh in. I'm sure they had a few mentions of ziploc bags, subway and wrigley's gum in there. I was afraid Michael was going to go. But nope, Terry, his fellow below the yellow liner, was voted out. Whew!

Talking about fatties, I'm going to talk about Celebrity Fit Club. What a dumb season. These people aren't that fat but half are really lazy and not really trying. Poor Jay McCarroll from Project Runway; he's the only one who's really wanting to lose weight. Oh and that girl from... Oh who knows? Really that white chick and black chick on the red team are celebrities? Okay if you say so. I guess they couldn't find people who were both fat and celebrities. The challenges are a joke because there's usually only half the team really trying so really that old adage, "You're only as weak as your slowest player.", is totally true. Then I love the scenes of the people just eating and drinking what they want. Poor Sgt Harvey is pulling these people like a team of stubborn mules. It's hilarious just to see his frustration. There's no host this season and I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. There's an interesting dynamic with Kevin Federline and his ex Shar on the show together but on competing teams. As she gets thinner, she looks more and more like Keshia Knight Pulliam. Dr. Ian seems to lead the panel and the psych lady is so boring, I hardly notice her. Whatever. Who's on for next season?

On Shear Genius, the stylists had to first do the mixed bag challenge. They picked an item, a theme...yada yada and then use them on a girl's head. Jon finally woke up and won the challenge. Then the stylists had to do hair for photoshoots with the theme from a past star. Matthew somehow won with his ode to Dolly Parton. Umm...I guess Loretta Lynn hair resembles Dolly Parton. So Jon and Brig landed in the bottom 2. Janine and her BFF, Matthew, almost had orgasms when Jon was told he was safe. I absolutely loved the crestfallen and shocked look they had when it was announced Brig was safe too. Whew! I love Brig. If it weren't for her and Jonathan Antin, this show would be total snoozeville.

Survivor was cool with a double elimination. First the Heroes had to lose their challenge, which they did; natch. I'm thinking, they can't do anything well. There was only 1 challenge in order to make more time for all the conniving. Whatever. The challenge was that old, untangle the rope by using your body cuz your tied to the rope. I was totally surprised Colby wasn't better at this. I wasn't surprised Boston Rob won the whole thing cuz first they pitted the players of each team against each other and then the victors from each team against each other for the final. Boston Rob was the Hero of the day because he won hotdogs with the fixins for his tribe. There was a lot of, "Ah ah uh I don't know who to vote for." Boston Rob surmised correctly that the troll king had the unhidden immunity idol and told his little band to split their votes evenly so that in case the idol was played, one of the outsiders would be voted out. Okay. Well, not so easy when you have a dumb blonde like Tyson on your tribe. Russell tells Tyson he wants Parvati out so he's going to use the idol and Parvati will definitely be out if Tyson votes Parvati instead of making a 3 way tie. Will Tyson fall for that? Hmmm... Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, names are being thrown around: Candace, James, Colby, Amanda. Colby is so resigned to the fact that he's going home, he just takes it easy. I admire him for not scrambling and not kissing any ass. At tribal council, the villains are up first. It's the usual stupid questions from Jeff. Before the votes are read, Russell stands up and looks like he's going to play the idol but Oh... there's my crafty little devil hero. He hands it to Parvati and she acts surprised and calls him a gentleman. Oh puke. Then we find Tyson is truly as stupid as he looks and has voted for Parvati and contributed to his own demise. No hotdogs for you dumbass. Then the Heroes are up while the villains watch and stuff themselves with hotdogs at the same time. What? No beer? The villains only get to hear the stupid questions from Jeff. Even they weren't spared that torture. Then the hero tribe finally showed they had a few brains or maybe they woke up. Colby was totally surprised when James was voted out. Finally, they unload the gimpy guy. Maybe the producers will have a totally physical challenge next week. Hope it doesn't involve shooting any baskets. Whew! Colby is saved.

On RuPaul's Drag Race, the ladies had to shoot a book cover photo for a book about their life. Then they had to schill it and an Absolute drink at the same time. Interesting. I found the most difficult thing they had to do was try to hold that glass with those really long fake nails and not smear their lipstick when they took a sip. Once again, Pandora Box had the ugliest dress. He must've come to the show with his own load of ugly material for dresses. Probably stuff he found in the Mood store's dumpster. I forget who was in the bottom 2 with Jessica Wild but she went home. I'll miss her funny accent that made the word meals sound like males. I do have to admit, that guy never did make a good looking woman. His/her beak alone would put someone's eye out.

Project Runway is getting down to the nitty gritty. This time, the designers had to make their own fabric design. HP was touted the whole show and on into the Models of the Runway show too. Some of the patterns were pretty good. Mila thought innovation was painting bold lines of parallel color on white. She then proceeded to make a dress that looked like a teepee. Jonathan made fabric that looked like someone coughed cocoa all over it. Kors likened it to a dirty tablecloth; ouch. He proceeded to make a cute dress and then ruined it by making a backwards gold lame jacket to go over it; ew. It reminded me of when I put my friend in a cute dress of mine and she insisted on wearing her ugly vest she hand knitted, over it; sigh. Maya made a really cool red and orange jungly pattern on black and made a knockout dress. Seth Aron once again made a jacket and pants outfit out of his pattern that was so ugly, he had to turn it so it was diamond patterns instead of squares. That's when I realized; he really is straight. Anthony's pattern wasn't too bad except he used only a little of it in his dress. Emilio used his name in repetition as the pattern in the fabric. Lots of people hated this but I thought it was cool. He used ESosa with a heart as the O. When you saw it from afar, it looked like stripes and his dress was cool too. Of course, Lorena really worked it too. Poor Brandise looked like a geisha trying to walk in her too tight shoes. Except, it was the bottom of the skirt that was too tight and she was called out for scrunching up the side so she could walk better. The judges really criticized Anthony's dress which I didn't think was that bad, and he was sent home.

Models of the Runway showed the girls being given harsh criticism from the judges and Heidi. In order to schill HP more, they had the girls take photos of each other and then use the HP computer to choose their shots. Whatever. Valeria had a decision to make. Should she stay with the show or do a campaign with DKNY? Stupidly, she chose to stay. What? I'll have you know, we don't remember any of the models who won in the past seasons. Whoever said models were smart? At elimination, Ceri was left standing alone and unchosen. We'll miss her Irish accent and smart tongue. Another blonde bites the dust.

Talking about Models, America's Next Top Model is quite whacked out this season. The girls seem to all have PMS flying off the handle easily and being overly sensitive. Suck it up. Nobody's nice in the world of modeling. For the challenge, they had to do a go see. The prettiest girl with the most poise won. Yay! Ren seems to be getting homelier by the minute and her sour attitude doesn't help. For the photo shoot, the girls had to be dancers in their photos but yet still look like models. Okay. I think Tyra got this idea from judging Yaya all during that 3rd season. In the end, Ren was sent home. Yay! She said she was only in it to get her mother's attention. Maybe not having the personality of 3 day oatmeal would help.

The Amazing Race finally went to an Island chain. It was funny to hear how some of the teams pronounced Seychelles. They all took the same plane, but since Brent and Caite aren't old fogeys, they knew how to work an airline ticket kiosk and got their airplane seats way in the front. The teams rode helicopters to another island to do their detour. They could either bait a large tortoise across a lawn and a finish line and carry bananas, or fill a cart with coconuts and deliver the ox pulled cart to the fruit stand guy. The tortoise should've been easy except the lesbian team didn't seem to know you should actually pick a tortoise that's awake and facing the door of the cage. Most of the teams picked the coconut task. Team Miss Teen ditzy and her boyfriend failed to get every last coconut into their cart and then didn't know that slapping the ox on both sides wouldn't make it faster. The lesbian team and the cowboys also failed to get every coconut into their carts so there was a lot of turning around. Then the teams swam to a boat which took them to a buouy out in the middle of the ocean. Brent called it a dinghy. No, that's your girlfriend. For the roadblock someone had to retrieve a bottle from a crate under water and then they had to take it to another island that they had to swim to from the boat, put a simple map together which led them to the pitstop. Whew! I'm exhausted just explaining it. For once, Brent and Caite read the directions right. The Dad and daughter team got to the pitstop first but left their backpacks on the other island. They sucked it up and decided to do without them. Good for them. We finally got to see what the top of Jet and Cord's heads looked like. They removed their cowboy hats to swim. Okay, yeah, wear the hats guys. With hats: sexy. Without hats: geeky. The lesbians beat the cowboys to the pitstop due to the boys not following the directions. Y'know, that seems to be the kiss of death in this game. Luckily, it was a non-elimination leg. Yay! The cowboys are safe. Whew!

Finally, on the Celebrity Apprentice, we first started out with that nauseating thing where the celeb hands the check over to kids. How come all these organizations are with kids? Kids are so boring and annoying and sick kids are really icky. Okay so then the teams gathered to meet Trump and the heads of Norton and Lifelock. Their task was to do a advertorial for Lifelock to be in a magazine. Michael Johnson and Summer Sanders were chosen to be team leaders. Way to pit the Olympians against each other. What; another concept challenge? Boooooooring. I love the disruptors. For the men it's Brett Michaels and for the women, Cyndi Lauper. Neither one can shut up and both are airheaded and ask stupid distracting questions. You can almost hear the eyeballs rolling. Johnson did really good at delegating. In fact, he made Curtis Stone do all the thinking. Sanders didn't get her head together until after the check in with the company rep. Blagojevich showed what an old fogey he is and took an hour to peck on the computer. Then they had to do presentations to the executives. Oh boy! The men did alright until their pages showed up on the screen. They had so much written stuff crammed on the pages, it blurred when blown up and looked way overwhelming. The executives wanted to take a step back, but they were sitting in seats. Then the women came in. Holly Robinson Peete seemed like she sabotaged the projector because when it didn't work, she didn't seem anxious or surprised about it. Hmmm... Then Sharon was supposed to make the pitch and started choking and hacking. It was hilarious and the executives cringed and wanted to run out of the room. For the next 20 minutes, we had to listen to the executives hem and haw about which team they liked better until Trump practically gave them an enema to get the answer out of them. So finally, in the board room it was announced the women won. Johnson pointed out his was more of an advertorial. Yeah, but we don't really like advertorials and only a supergeek would read all that blather you put on those 4 pages. So in the end, Darryl Strawberry fell on his sword to save Johnson. Awww... Wasn't that sweet? Whatever. Bye quitter.

So that's all for this week. C U all next week!

Is it live or TV?

2010-03-22T01:22:00.000-07:00

There's always a lull in the middle of Reality TV shows where we know the people and we're just waiting for the chaff to blow away. Then we can wake up and root for our favorites.

RuPaul's Drag Race had a challenge where the "ladies" had to sing and dress up as rock stars. Our ears were still bleeding from Tyra Sanchez's singing from last week. When RuPaul told them they were going to sing for real, I think we all had an 'uh oh' moment. Most drag queens are used to lip synching because they're not supposed to be themselves. Jujubee was supposed to be a great singer but that doesn't mean she's a great performer and this show is all about the performance. They had a huge block of time showing the guys working with some lady rockstar who I didn't recognize, but whatever. I don't know who wrote the song, but it was terrible. We had to listen to it being sung 6 different times; eeeeek! Surprisingly, Jujubee was not only dead and boring in her performance, but didn't sing well either. She was in the bottom two but the other guy/girl was sent home.

This week the crying fatties (AKA Biggest Loser contestants) had challenges that actually gave the black team a chance to win. You could see the relief on Sam's face. Not only is he the only guy on his team, but all the women are getting lighter too. So the first challenge was food trivia. They do this every season. Isn't it obvious that these people don't pay attention to calories? They also don't read food labels. The blue team won. For a team of almost all guys, it was hilarious to see them win a spa day. I admired the guy who actually swam in the spa's pool. I think he's keeping his eyes on the prize. The next challenge was a cooking challenge to make a low cal great tasting meal. The blue team was missing Michael, due to a family emergency, and they blamed their loss on his being absent. Sooooo...what does that mean? All you fat guys have someone else cooking for you? It was very surprising that even with a prize of 5 pounds credit during the weigh-in, the black team lost the weigh-in. I think the younger women on the team are banding together because Sherry, the last older woman was voted out. Sam better keep winning the immunity or he's a goner too. I have a feeling the producers are cutting out the catty moments or not filming at the right times.

Shear Genius is losing the genius in the show. I'm sorry to say, it's getting boring. The first challenge was to give high school girls prom hair to go with their dresses. I don't get it. They criticized Brig for going too couture. When is a better time to go couture than when you have girls in gowns trying to outshine each other? Matthew did some ugly helmet head thing; ew. Janine is proving she's the one to beat cuz she keeps winning practically everything. For the elimination challenge, the hair stylists had to do a red carpet do for guests for a party and it had to be reminiscent of the 60's and 70's. I was expecting beehives and there wasn't one in the bunch. Matthew did Mary Tyler Moore hair. Ben did 2 tone hair that Jonathan Antin said looked like a heroine user who forgot about her roots. Brig went conservative which didn't go over well with the judges. Janine did the big airy fro look. She won. It wasn't that impressive but well done, I guess. Ben was sent home. Too bad cuz he was quite the hottie. Matthew and Janine showed their bitter disappointment when they saw Brig wasn't eliminated. Brig's great. She keeps the show from being too uptight.

Project Runway had a team of 2 challenge again. Material at Mood? $300. The look of sheer terror on the faces of everybody thinking they may have to work with Mila? Priceless. Anthony chose Maya, Amy chose the guy with the glasses, Emilio chose Seth Aron while simultaneously revealing a mancrush on him and poor Jay was left with Mila. He took it as well as a prisoner going to the electric chair; meek and defeated. The teams were given the choice of places in New York to go. Where else were they going to go? Duh! There was a lot of pointless footage of the teams looking at architecture, graffiti, and ugly apartment buildings. Only Emilio and Seth Aron seemed to note the fashion of the people in their area. Poor Amy, she can't catch a break. I didn't think her look was that bad. Okay so her model's butt did look bigger all she had to do was loosen the belt cinching the top. Mila can't seem to make anything with color but had to put orange leggings on her model to match Jay's look. She and Jay were very businesslike and just avoided each other and did their thing. Seth Aron made another pants and jacket outfit. I'm waiting for the judges to say, "We've seen this look before." Emilio's dress moved funny and had a zipper up the whole front of the dress that begged for a wardrobe malfunction. Emilio and Seth Aron were deemed co-winners and giggled and danced for joy. Amy was aufed and thank the gods, Jay was saved. Personally, I didn't think Jay's look was that bad. Oh well.

On Models of the Runway, the models seem to be getting more opinionated and bold. Brandise professed her love for Mila. She's the only one who does love Mila. The women were to have a night on the town to party. The 2 underage models were left home. I loved seeing them stuff their faces with junk food. It was great: milkshakes, burgers, onion rings and french fries. I remember when I was young and had a good metabolism too. Those were good times. When the older models were together, I noticed almost all of them had foreign accents. Hmmmm... At elimination, the losing designer's model was not chosen and sent home. Emilio got first choice and took the opportunity to take Lorena who's been designated the best model for the past weeks. I thought that was brilliant. Maya was not amused that he took her model.

America's Next Top Model made 2 episodes out of 3 so I'll recap all together. This season has very quirky girls. One was raised in a sex cult and looks like it with the weird sheared head. One has Groucho Marx eyebrows. There's a reject from last season who looks 30. One is a total Tyra superfan. A couple of girls are kind of homely. One girl is a half African American who looks totally caucasion but she does have the ghetto attitude. There's also a goth girl. The girls got their makeovers right after settling into their New York digs. I'm not a fashionista but it's still weird that the girl with Groucho Marx eyebrows kept those eyebrows and the girl with the sheared head had her eyebrows bleached. Can you say billiard ball? The girls were all cut, colored and styled by Sally Hershberger herself. Wow! Too bad all the girls are too young to know about the shag; Ms. Hershberger's signature haircut. Instead of giving Angelea a haircut to make her look younger, she got longer straight hair that makes her look even older. Now instead of looking 30, she looks like a 35 year old man in drag. Whatever. Each season, Tyra has the girls do a nude photo shoot of some kind. It turned out to be the very first photoshoot for the girls. This time, they didn't hide the private parts and there was a lot of blurred out bits on the photos. The black girl who looks white couldn't get that fiery personality to transfer to her photo and she looked awkward and dead in her photo and was sent home. Then the girls had a runway lesson with Miss Jay. They had to walk across a New York street while taking off their jacket. The New Yorkers expressed their pity and watched with looks that asked, "What is this skinny bitch doing undressing in 40 degree weather?" The challenge was a fashion show with a runway with swinging pendulums. You know we were all waiting for someone to get knocked off with the pendulums and it happened. To really make it good, the girl first slipped on the stairs and fell down them. I couldn't stop laughing. The photoshoot was outdoors. First the girls were in flimsy scarflike dresses, spritzed with blue liquid on their neck and then had to pose while water and wind flew in their faces. I swear, Tyra's trying to give the models pneumonia. The new judge of the season is an authority on fashion and modeling. It's a middle age African American guy who I've seen in crowdshots of fashion shows. Okay then. Most of the photos were pretty funny with the girls looking like those dogs getting bathed at the groomers. Nahdua proved you can't actually copy poses you've seen in magazines and was sent home. Darn! I was hoping to hear more outlandish stories of her weird cult life. Her unique accent was totally So Cal at times too. If you're going to be a character, don't go on a reality show cuz you have to keep up the acting for a long time. Yes, there was footage of fights and complaining but it's still the SOS (same old shit) we've seen from other seasons. I don't understand why Tyra seems to wear a lot of black catsuits since she's lost so much weight and looks great. Nigel Barker is just as sexy as ever. One thing I'm noticing; the girl who cries at judging and says she doesn't want to go home is always saved. Hmmm...there might be a lot of that to come. We'll see.

The Amazing Race stayed in France. First the racers had to find the statue of Joan of Arc. Miss Teen Caitlin thought it was Noah. Her boyfriend, had to tell her, "It's Arc, not ark." Oh boy! These 2 must share a brain and he had it that day. For the roadblock, a racer had to go down into a deep cave, find a champagne and then sabre it open. Unfortunately, the cute cowboy team thought they were supposed to go to champagne and went to the wrong town. Maybe they can't read in the early morning hee hee hee. At least they realized their mistake and remained in the middle of the pack. For the detour, the teams went to a champagne winery. The racers were smart enough to ask French people where the place was. Obviously, the French aren't too bright because all of the racers got a bum steer and initally went to the wrong town. Yeesh. The Dad and daughter team crunched the front fender of their Mercedes and proved you can fix anything with duct tape. At the detour, they could either hunt for a marked bunch of grapes or make a champagne glass pyramid and do the cascade pour. The hunt was the best option due to the fact that it really wasn't grape harvesting season and the only bunches of grapes were obviously tied on the vines. Since the bunches were sparse, it was easy to see them. Miss Teen ditzy couple first started to hunt and then switched to stack the glasses. Oh boy! I loved the look of horror when the pyramid crumbled during the pour. It was great! Like watching someone accidentally knock over their domino line after setting up dominoes all day. It was really too bad that with all the experience with champagne, hardly anybody had any to drink. The cops hit the pitstop mat first with an annoying mime greeting them with Phil. My wish came true and the Big Brother ditz and her boyfriend were sent home. Yay! The cute cowboys are still in it. Does anything else really matter?

The Celebrity Apprentice episodes are 2 hours long and I hope it doesn't continue. Unlike the Biggest Loser, there's just not enough different things to show for 2 hours. First, we started out with Bret Michaels talking with diabetic kids and then handing his big check over. OMG, I thought the sappy stuff was never going to end. It was quite vomit inducing. The celebs had a challenge with Kodak to make a showcasing event. The men lost sight of the fact that the point of a sponsored challenge is to showcase the sponsor's product, not the celebrities. Sinbad was the leader of the project. His type of leadership wasn't really Brett's type so I think Brett drank that energy drink for nothing. It seems Sinbad likes to plan, set up behind the scenes first and then pull everything out concretely the 2nd day. It's like the kid who looks at his blocks for an hour and then Wa-lah; he's got a great building 5 minutes later. It did make the team very nervous to not see anything put together at the end of the first day. Blagojevich was fixated on the goldenrod balloons. I think he only loved them cuz they had 'rod' in their name. Meanwhile, the women were led by Maria Kanellis. I kept wondering why she was wearing a red cowpie on her head and a towchain around her neck all day. I admired her for not letting the other women veer her off her course. She proved she had a good plan and it worked. The women had only 2 celebs do photo ops with customers and then the others did the hawking. The men actually had no hawkers and 5 of the men did photo ops while Blagojevich and Sinbad took pictures. When you have a Kodak sponsor, you might want the customers to actually go home with a photo of some kind. The men just handed out cards with the website and instructions. The women actually short circuited their place using the Kodak printers. The poor customers also had to fight a crowd to paw and hunt through pictures to try to find their's. Both teams had chaotic messes. Since they weren't being judged on how many people they could jam into their event, they could've done a station to station line. Oh well. In the end, the Kodak people liked the women's event better. Well duh! The women actually showed and explained the greatness of Kodak products to the customers. The only bad thing the women did was have a sick Sharon Osbourne cough and hack all over the cupcakes she was handing out to the customers. Nice. In the end, Sinbad was sent home for his unorganized and weak leadership. But, he did get in a lot of good funny lines in. There was a ton of redundancy in this episode and I even think they just showed scenes more than once. I mean, come on! How many putz faced New Yorkers do we have to see getting their photo taken and do we really have to see every kid they can dig up in the charity hawking scenes? Hey NBC, find another show for Sunday night to help fill the hours.

Okay, hopefully things will get better with Survivor returning and Dancing with the Stars starting. I already know who I don't like on the happy hoofer hooker show. See you all next week.