Friday, February 18, 2011

Before the Big Guys Show Up

The new seasons of Survivor, Amazing Race, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway are just around the bend. But before they show up, there are still a few good shows running.

Rupaul's Drag Race is turning out to be an interesting season. If Raja can pull out a little more natural personality, maybe she can win it. The quick challenge had the girls making outfits out of duct tape. It was hilarious. For some odd reason the fatties all decided to be in the same group and I think they took up enough duct tape to pave the LA freeway. Not only did they make outfits, but they had to start over after the first attempt. Oh boy! Anyway, the 2 hispanic guy/girls won with their cute workout wear. Hey, that segwayed perfectly into the next challenge. For the next challenge, the 2 girls each picked girls to make up their teams. Then they had to do a funny fitness segment. There's nothing funnier than broken english and outrageous spanish accents to make a fitness segment funny except maybe that shake weight. OMG, they really did go there. LOL! Susan Powter was the guest judge who helped give critiques to the girls during their filming of their segments. Some of the girls were really boring. For the runway, the girls had to emphasize their best asset. India Ferra must have been told her's was her skin cuz she showed a lot of it. The problem is, she's not exactly the skinniest girl in the bunch and it grossed out the judges. The girl w/ the hilarious spanish accented fitness segment and the glittery dress outshone everyone and won. She was very gracious and I think everyone likes her too cuz there were no glares from the other girls. MiMi Imfurst and India Ferra landed in the bottom. Somehow the lip synch-off turned into a WWE wrestling thing w/ Mimi giving India fireman's lift while India screamed her head off. I was RFLMAO and laughing so much, I was crying. In the end, Mimi was sent home. Yay! One fattie down and he wasn't cute as a girl or a guy.

On the crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser, the fatties all worked out together. For the temptation challenge, the fatties had 3 minutes alone surrounded by chocolates. Whoever ate the most got to switch 2 people from each team or leave the teams as they were. Y'know, I'm never surprised that Arthur chooses to eat every time. I think he doesn't give a hoot about the prize and really just wants to justify pigging out. It was so fun to watch him stuff down 35 chocolates. I love it when someone shows when they know how to do it. Oh come on. You really think they got fat by nibbling slowly? So the winner and didn't have to be revealed. The group was shocked when the green team and the pink team were switched but then the groups were one team black and the other red. I thought Q had won. Then Arthur did the dumbest thing ever. He told the group that he won and made the decision thinking the girl team would lose the least and keep him from being in the bottom of the group. Whatever. Maybe he forgot they base it on percentage of body weight. So the teams worked out together again. Then they had a kind of luxury challenge. They had to do a relay race where they had to do different tasks in each leg. The black team (ranchers) won big time cuz the guys on the red team (ridgers) couldn't figure out which dishes had the most calories. I didn't know a bowl of chili had less calories than a couple of smores. The prize was videos from home. Let the crying commence! Ick! Then came the weigh-in. The red team had impressive numbers but the black team won by a big margin. I can't believe how well the women are doing this season. The red team voted out Q and I wasn't a bit surprised. He was lazy, whiny, unpleasant and lost the least. Bye! My hero, Rulon Gardner is still on the show. Yay!

Top Chef had a fondue quickfire. The twist was, the chefs tasted all the dishes and then judged each other. Dale won w/ his fo-ndue. Hmmm...boiling broth. Dipping things in it? Sounds like soup to me. The fun part of the show was, the chefs appeared on The Jimmy Fallon show and were challenged to do one of his favorite dishes for his birthday. They did quick phone pic shots of dishes as they flashed on a screen and whatever they captured, that was their dish. It was quite cool to see that one dish was tongue. Carla did a happy dance when she got chicken pot pie. The eating group consisted of Jimmy Fallon's family and show friends and of course the judges. Anthony Bourdain was MIA this week and it just wasn't as much fun but oh well. Carla won w/ her homey chicken pot pie. Dale made a cheesesteak sandwich that turned out to be made w/ salty components that added up to a whole lot of salt. One thing I've noticed. When you cook for sensitive palates, you don't want to over do the salt. Tiffany made a chicken and dumpling dish that wasn't chicken and dumplings. Although, it did have chicken in it. Americans hate it when foreigners tell them what a hamburger should be. Instead of asking all the Americans around him how to make a good burger, he moaned, "Burgers aren't my thing. I don't even know how to make one." Then proceeded to make a meatball sandwich w/ cheese on the side. Not good. Antonia had no experience eating much less cooking tongue but she asked for advice and came out in the top 3. So in the end, Fabio was sent home. Sigh, I'll miss his accent and cute Italian self.

A new show I've forgotten to blog about is Face Off. It's a competition for media make-up artists. I'm not talking cosmetics either. These guys and gals are geniuses w/ prosthetics, paint and make-up. They've had to make animal human hybrids, do a person in full body makeup to fit into a background and this week they had to work in pairs to make an alien for the brand new discovered M class planet. They showed a short video on what the planet was like. This show is educational too. Coooooool!!! The 2 names I do know on the show are Colin and Frank. One chick is so into Colin, she speaks his name about every 3 minutes. Everybody moans and complains about Frank and his laziness. Personally, I think Frank was over the competition after week 1. In the end, Colin's team won w/ the female alien in a long robe. That was pretty smart since the robe covered most of the body and all they had to concentrate on was the head and hands. They were able to do intricate work and it looked great. I always wonder why people want to do a lot of stuff in a short amount of time. Frank forgot this wasn't the full body paint challenge and he and his unfortunate partner were declared the worst. Frank was sent home and let the people know he was very happy about it. It's so unfair that he didn't bow out earlier and let someone else have a chance. What a dumbass.

Worst Cooks in America was down to 4. It's the show before the finale. First, they taught the cooks how to flambe. It was amazing how much confidence the cooks gained by learning to cook w/ big flames. Then the family members were brought in. Kelsey and her husband were so cute together. Yep, Georg's wife looks like a guy. Anyway, the cooks were told they were to make a dish the family member wanted. Kelsey made venison. Georg made fish. Carlos made a Thai dish and Joshie made a sweet chicken dish. It was impressive that all the cooks did really well. I LOL when Kelsey's husband said he was scared to eat her food. No wonder. She gave him food poisoning twice and they've only been married a year. I'd be terrified. In the end, Kelsey and Carlos weren't as good as the Georg and Joshie. So for the finale, it's Joshie or Georg to win it all. I can't wait cuz they've really come far and this year, these people are for real.

Well, that's about all for this week. Stay tuned.

Monday, February 7, 2011

We're in a slow season!

I realized there aren't very many reality shows on right now but I'll tell ya about the one's that are on.

The new Season of Rupaul's Drag Race is on. I'm not sure if I actually saw the latest episode but I'll tell ya about the one I did see that wasn't on the Logo channel. Unfortunately, my new satellite company requires a high price for this channel. Way to stick it to a specific group huh? Anyway, it's quite a large group of contestants and I don't just mean numbers. There are at least 4 fat guys. I swear Tyra's makeup artist from America's Next Top Model is one of the guy/girls. The girls had to first work in 2 groups and put on a campy movie sci fi movie trailer. Man, there was over acting, bad acting and no acting going on. Of course the judges liked the over acting. The people helping the girls get the whole thing done were supposed to be famous but I didn't know them from Adam. Who cares anyway? For the final judging the girls had to do a futuristic look. Oh boy! All I have to say is, fat guys don't make pretty girls. Men usually carry their over weight in their abdomens and that's not pretty. BTW, Shangela is back. I'm wondering why he gets a redo but why ask why? Um...can't remember the guest judge and can't remember who won or was sent home. I think the one sent home was the guy w/ the glued wig falling off. I have no idea how this is judged cuz I would start bumping off the fatties one by one first. But oh well. It's making me not miss the Logo channel after all.

The crying fatties aka, The Biggest Loser continued but the unknowns on the ridge came back to roost on the ranch. We'll call them the ridgers and the main players the ranchers. So we saw a lot of working out and people trying to show how fit they became. The black guy from the ridgers proved himself a slacker and the rest of the group pounced all over that and lost total respect for him. Rulon Gould proved the equipment on the ranch is cheap cuz he broke 2 treadmills. I was wanting to see the logo on those machines but they didn't show it. They probably were told not to by the company. The ridge team did the challenge. The teams had to put weights on each other's platforms until they hit 500 pounds and then they were out of the competition. The last team standing received immunity. Ok! Well, this time, there was no pre-challenge decision and it was every team for themselves. Rulon proved why he's an Olympic Champ. He had a great strategy using the lighter weights first while the piling frenzy went on and saving the heavier weights for the head to head at the end. It worked and his team won. So on to the weigh-in. The ranchers did pretty well except the lone girl and twin team. They twin decided he was missing his brother and home and the ranch wasn't for him. The team threw the weigh in by each gaining 6 pounds. Good lord! That twin has gained more weight than some people have lost in 2 weeks. I love the way it pisses off Jillian and Bob. Hee hee hee. Anyway, they owned up to it and Don was sent home right there by a unanimous show of hands. The ridgers lined up to weigh and the black couple fell below the yellow line. I have to say, the ridgers put up some incredible numbers and the ranchers now wear a look of fear. So the ridgers wanted to vote out the black guy but he cried and gave promises and excuses. His wife said she wanted to go home so in the end, they gave in and sent her home. Bye! Those 2 really are losers and not in a good way. Blech!

Top Chef Allstars are at that point where we kind of hate to see any of them go. I like everybody. The quickfire was about food presentation. Isaac Mizrahi challenged the chefs to make art w/ the food. They did and the food wasn't tasted at all. It was quite interesting. Angelo made something that looked like barf in a bag. Oooh...pretty. Richard Blais was declared the winner for making a black and white really cool looking dish. Then the group was split into 3 groups of 3 and 3 mafioso looking and sounding guys walked in. For the elimination challenge, the chefs were to cook an Italian dinner. The first group would do the anitpasto, the 2nd group the pasta course and the 3rd group the meat course. It wasn't a team challenge cuz each chef had to do their own dish and be judged as such. Luckily, each group ended up w/ an Italian. Antonia was in the first group and she made steamed mussels. I've had this as an appetizer in Italian restaurants and the thing that makes it not French is the large amount of garlic in the dish and the bread that goes w/ it. Carla made minestrone soup and Tiffany made a polenta and sausage terrine thing. The judging was in Rao's restaurant w/ the guest judges the mafioso guys of the place, the regular judges and that Italian actress w/ the raspy voice who's been on the show before. The people all repeated over and over that Italian food is all about the ingredients and doing them simply so they shine. Okay! For the second course, Mike Isabella tried to make homemade rigatoni which turned out to have the texture of a shingle but his sauce was good. Dale Talde gave the excuse that he's not Italian but hello, you do use noodles in your oriental dishes don't you? His dish was declared terrible too. Tre made risotto that offended the judges. Uh oh. For the meat course, Fabio made Chicken cacciatori and polenta that made the judges say, "This reminds me of home." I thought, oh he's got this in the bag. Richard made fish and Angelo made beef I believe. What? No veal? To everybody's surprise, Antonia won. Poor Fabio, he can't catch a break. He vented a bit and said Antonia's dish was French but it must've been really really good. Tre tried to argue w/ the Italian judges about the correct consistency of risotto. Really? I was waiting for Colicchio to say, "Do you know who you're talking to?" In the end, Tre couldn't admit his sins and was booted. He took it well. I'll miss his laugh.

The Food Network has a show called Challenge where it's a one day contest between 4 people to make cakes, chocolate show pieces, sugar show pieces and even fruit and vegetable carvings. The contestants are pretty much different each week and each challenge theme is different. I really like this show except for one thing. Kerry Vincent is a judge and she's the worst sour puss I've ever seen. She's one of those English pretentious people who always look like they smell dooky. I really wish they'd give her a month off. Yeesh.

The Worst Cooks in America are down to 6 people. For the skills challenge the cooks were shown how to make sausage and then challenged to make their own. Then they had to make a dish w/ it. I love that Robert totally gags and spits out bad tasting food. The black guy way oversalted his sausage and you could tell cuz there seemed to be more salt than meat in the bowl. Then for the elimination challenge, the blue group had to filet sea bass. The red group had to clean calamari. Ew! Why? You can always buy already cleaned calamari at the store or fish market. I didn't blame the cooks for gagging w/ this one. Then they had to make side dishes that consisted of the food they hated along w/ their fish or calamari. It was obvious that the black guy didn't listen very well. Kelsey did her burning food thing. I think it's a reaction to giving her husband food poisoning twice. She wants to make sure things aren't undercooked. The red team had to stuff their calamari for their dish. Everyone was a frenetic hot mess. In the end, Carlos and Kelsey were declared the winners and the black guy and Kat were sent home. One thing I learned was Georg is lesbian. That was interesting. One thing I knew already? Kat is dumb and the black guy dumber so dumb and dumber were sent home. Bye!

Well, that's all for now. See you all next time and stay tuned.

Monday, January 31, 2011

No, Really?

It was kind of a sad week. The new seasons of shows haven't started and the ones now are winding down.

Cake Boss: The Next Great Baker had it's finale. The last 3 bakertestants standing were Dana, Meghan and Corina. The poor final 3 had to gut out a grueling baking marathon. They had to bake pies, cakes and pastries to sell. First, the quick challenge was to see how much gunk they could scoop out of a grease trap. Ack! It was gross to watch so I can imagine it was worse to do. Dana won and was able to choose his staff of 4, from Buddy's whole staff, first. Then the bakers just spent all day and night baking their hearts out. Corina seemed the least experienced and I think her brain was totally dead. She barely made enough stuff while Dana and Meghan made way more than what was asked for. Very smart, since there was a competition to see how much they could sell too. Instead of money, people had tickets to trade for the baked goods. That meant, even if they only bought a cookie, it still counted. Dana won that round. Then the bakers also had to make and decorate a cake for the mayor of Hoboken. For some reason, I was expecting to see Frank Sinatra on the cake but it was more about city scapes. Corina sold the least so she was cut before the cake presentations. Then they had the ending in front of a large audience. Dana won, the confetti fell and everybody cheered. That was that. They did show Dana his new workplace complete w/ a cake in the shape of a bust of Dana. Oh boy!

The Fashion Show also had it's finale. The designers left were Dominique, the crazy Philipino guy and the gay black guy. They each had to make a collection of 9 pieces. So they worked and worked. Calvin seemed to be a magic elf banging clothes out like a machine. Jeffrey seemed to have a hot mess and Dominique was hoing and humming all over her area. Then they were each challenged to make a 10th design out of their comfort zone w/ the help of 1 former designer. We hear a lot of boo hoo stories about dying parents and how they're influencing the designs. Note to the director, we only need to hear that once. Where was the footage of actual sewing? So finally the final runway show comes about. Calvin goes first and his whole collection is white and black but not boring. His last look is a long red gown. Dominique's clothes look like homeless clothes. Only the people in Oregon wear grunge and it's because they're grungy and not in a good way. Jeffrey pulled out a miracle and actually had well sewn clothes to walk down the runway. Some of his stuff looked like the same stuff in a different color. So, the judges oohed and ahed. For a minute, I thought Calvin might win it, but Jeffrey was declared the winner and all the former contestants were there to congratulate him. So, that was that and I totally admit, I still don't know anything about fashion cuz I rarely agreed w/ the judges.

Top Chef Allstars didn't show a new episode this week. Booo!

The crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser had an abbreviated episode due to our media hog President having to make a big speech that really meant nothing. I refuse to watch him until he can tell the truth and I guess that will be never. They started out w/ a screaming match between Jillian and the remaining twin. So what if they did throw the weigh-in? Get over it and move on. Anyway, they had a temptation challenge. The fatties were presented w/ a big room of all their favorite foods. Whoever ate the most calories got to choose a team to go to the unknowns. Nobody ate. Then Arthur and his...what is he? Dad? Anyway, Arthur decided to eat a chicken leg and the sound effects were hilarious. We heard smacking, gnawing, gobbling and crunching w/ just one leg. It was quite amusing since it made Arthur look like a total pig. So he won and he sent the green team to the barn of the unknowns. We find that the unknowns don't have it too bad. They have a bigger swimming pool, maid service and meals cooked by someone other than them. That always helps cuz food cooked by someone else always tastes better. Then the Main ranch fatties had to do a challenge against the green team representing the unknowns. They had to guess the number of calories in a table of the favorite foods of the fatties. Each number was pulled up w/ lights indicating if they were on the mark, under or above it. The Main ranch people won and their prize was letters from home. Everybody cried and the letters sounded like they were written by total morons. That was it for the week and I'm still mad at Bananobama for inserting his stupid self into my TV realm.

There's a new show called You're Cut Off. They take a bunch of spoiled lazy party socialite wannabe girls, house them together and then challenge them to not be spendthrifts, stupid and lazy. Well, it's not working. They like dressing like hookers, drink until stupid and belligerent and never seem to realize things don't magically appear out of thin air. The host seems to play housemother chastising some and patting others on the head and saying, "Good girl." Yeah, I wanna go and set fire to that house. It would rid the world of some unwanted vermin.

The SAG Awards had it's showing. It was great! They did w/out a host and we didn't miss it. They let the winners actually make their speeches. Betty White not only presented but won too showing she truly is da bomb. They had too many people making speeches to present the lifetime achievement award to Ernest Borgnine. Poor thing, he was so confused, he almost went onstage too early. The In Memorium made me realize the stars I grew up w/ are dropping like flies. The atmosphere was light and they kept the show moving very well.

On The Worst Cooks In America, the cooks had a recipe all taken apart and mixed up. Each team had to try and put it back together and make the dish. Oh come on! I'm not even sure pro chefs could do this. I felt bad for the cooks. I think the goal for every show is to see fear and dismay on every face, every week. Then the cooks had to make party foods for a football player and his friends. Really? One main problem w/ these cooks is, they have no palate. So one hors deourve had to be on a potato pancake and then they had a recipe for another. The difference between this year and last year is, the cooks this year seem more sincere. Last year, they were just people who wanted to be on TV and it really seemed fake and a put-on; especially that girl w/ the heavy makeup and the 1920's pin-up look. Please. Nobody looks like that in real life. Anyway, these cooks really are puzzled and lost and they aren't good judges of what flavors will go together. So yes, most had issues w/ flavors and techniques. In the end, Carlos and Joshie were declared the winners and Jen and Kelly were sent home. Kelly was a surprise since I thought she was doing really good every week. Jen, didn't have a discerning palate at all. Every week her food was underseasoned and bland. She seemed the most disappointed to go home. Awwww... Oh well, maybe we'll see them again at a reunion show or something.

Well, that's it. See ya next time.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Poo On the Critics!

I hate the critics. They are so snobby and pretentious, they tend to want to think for the viewer. Well not this time. Not all shows are taking themselves seriously. Not all shows are like real life. Actually, not very many shows are like real life cuz real life is slow moving and boring.

Already, the critics are dissing Harry's Law. For one thing, this is a David E. Kelley show. They are always a bit outrageous w/ a lot of digging at the profession. In this terrible economic time, we're not in the mood for true to life dramas. We need to laugh at something and escape. Harry's Law is just the ticket. Kathy Bates plays an old crusty curmudgeon really well and she doesn't seem like just an old bitch either. It helps that she's not skinny. If she was, we'd probably think she was crabby from hunger. Brittany Snow does a good job not being a dumb blonde. She's perky but balances out the cynical Harry. There's a new lawyer and for once, not a person looking for a mentor. He's intelligent, confident and just looking for a new scene. I liked the pilot. Yes, it was kind of outrageous. I mean, who could come out of being landed on by a jumper and being hit by a car, totally unscathed? But it's quick, witty, fun and bright. I hope it survives. Just like The Defenders, it's something to take us out of this dreery world for just a short time and we don't have to write things down to keep track of what's going on week to week. It's just pure entertainment.

On Cake Boss: the Next Great Baker, the bakertestants had to make a cake for Chevrolet advertising a new car. What a hot mess! Meagan made a huge car shaped cake w/ tiny wheels but they did spin. Corina made half a car smushed into a sky colored wall. Dana made a car that looked kind of lumpy. Jay did as well and then perched his on a little cake. Brian's downfall was, he didn't use cake. His car was impressive but this is a baking competition so you need to have sponge somewhere. After Buddy checked out their work halfway through the day, he decided they all looked pretty bad and was going to need another criteria to judge. He made them make a dessert. Brian was just a mess in everything. He burned his cookie and the cake had no cake. This is someone who needs to do his work right the first time. Having to redo everything is wasteful of time and money. Anyway, Dana was again declared the winner and Brian was mercifully sent home. I can't take one more week of watching this doofus.

The crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser finally revealed the unknown trainers. Is it just me or have I seen these guys on other reality shows? Anyway, we got to see their sob stories. The first challenge was the fatties worked as teams. They had to balance an egg on an upside down frying pan and the person from each team who dropped their egg last won a cooking lesson w/ that Aussie chef from Celebrity Apprentice. The Unknowns came together and decided who was going to win before the game started. The main ranch players fought it out. I loved it cuz the unknowns threw their eggs over the barrier but they didn't hit anybody; shucks! I also liked that they weren't going to waste time playing the stupid game. Let's be grown up about this, huh? So the winners (2 women) watched the guy cook his meal for them and then they had to guess the calories in the meal. Really? I thought people who were food oriented and professional dieters knew the calorie count on everything. I guessed and I was closer. Anyway, the main ranch lady won the 2 pound advantage. So then we got to see them work out blah blah blah. The big challenge involved hauling water and dumping it into competitors' barrels. The main ranch people took a cue from the unknowns and decided on a winner before the competition so there wasn't any trash talk and everyone got along. The alone girl was chosen cuz she got the only vote at elimination. The weigh-in was really surprising. The one twin had told the group he was wanting to go home to his family. You could see he wasn't happy. Everyone knows you can't lose weight aggressively if you're not happy. At the weigh-in, the really fat fatty (Arthur), lost only 4 pounds. Oh come on! I know he's had poops that weighed more than 4 pounds. Then the twins stepped up last. I know they pre-weigh these people to line them up for the best effect. OMG, the twins not only didn't lose weight, but they each gained 9 pounds. Really? I smell self sabotage w/ crossed wires. I have a feeling they didn't intend to gain that much cuz that's just embarrassing but they wanted to be sure to be on the bottom. I love it that Bob and Jillian look totally mortified and embarrassed. Hee hee hee. Yeah, you can't make these people lose weight if they don't want to. So the twin who wanted to go home, went home. Bye! See you at the finale.

On The Fashion Show, the designers worked in their houses w/ only 2 in each. They had to do 3 looks each based on the elements: earth, wind and water. I was wondering why they didn't include fire but oh well. House of Emerald made clothes that were flowy, beautiful and colorful but not too bright. House of Nami was run by Calvin cuz Dominique was in no mood to fight. Their looks looked like homeless couture complete w/ barefoot models and no color either. I don't know what the judges were smoking, but they declared House of Nami the winner. Calvin made a maternal pregnancy dress. When someone did that on Project Runway, they were sent home. It was horrible and nobody would ever buy it. Dominique was declared the winner of the day and Caesar was sent home. I thought for sure he would make it to the end cuz his looks were brilliant. His only mistake was, on other challenges, to listen too much to the stupid client.

Top Chef Allstars had it's restaurant wars. For the quickfire, they were taken to Le Bernadin to watch a guy butcher fish. He made it look really easy. Then the chefs had to butcher the 2 fish (not easy ones either) in 10 minutes. The girls didn't do well w/ them all landing in the bottom w/ Fabio. Oh Fabio, you sadden me so. Then the top 4 chefs had to make a dish out of the fish scraps (bones, fins, heads and innards). Dale Talde is really impressive this season. He did the Asian thing and used a lot of different parts to make a great dish that probably could've fed the whole village. He won. One thing I notice, is. When Marcel gets fatigued, he gets more snarky and snide. Not flattering at all. Dale won immunity and was told to pick a person to lead the other team to make a restaurant. Oh boy! He made sure not to accidentally have Marcel on his team by making him the other team's leader. What a smart move. I don't understand how Carla was chosen last since she's been doing some awesome cooking. Dale lucked out w/ being able to have Richard Blaise and Fabio on his team. While Marcel's team (restaurant Etch) had trouble coming together and refining each other's dishes and service, Dale's team (restaurant Bodega) worked like a well oiled machine. They did pop-up restaurants which in kind of like eating in your neighbors back yard for a couple of weeks. It's very cost effective because restaurants usually do a lot of business at the very beginning and there's very low overhead. Kind of like having a food truck parked in your neighborhood for a period of time but you can sit down to eat. Anyway, Fabio was the perfect host and did a great job managing front of the house staff and logistics, mediating between front of the house and Dale about to blow his stack, and also made a great dessert. I thought he'd pull out the win for sure. Meanwhile, on Marcel's team, Tiffany was maniacally laughing in the front of the house, being very fake and the customers could tell something was up. The food fell below the mark cuz nobody was in the mood to take criticism so nobody tasted each other's dishes. I did notice Richard hopping across the barrier and tasting the food in Bodega's kitchen. They needed to critique each other's food. Lay off the salt, lay off the foam, that egg not only looks terrible but tastes bad too. At least that's what the judges said. So team Bodega was called in to the judges first and you could see Richard Blaise's face fall w/ disappointment. Yeah, Bodega was told they were the losers and I loved the change in their faces. They first stood there w/ confident smirks on their faces and when the announcement was made, it changed to angry and accusatory. They all laid into Marcel and you have to admit, he was a very poor leader cuz nobody had any respect for him. Then they went back and told Dale's team they had won. You could see, Fabio was the only one who hadn't crapped his pants during the wait. The team named Richard the technical advisor and he was declared the winner. Okay. I have a feeling there was some footage we didn't see cuz Richard didn't seem that impressive to me. Cocky Marcel was sent home and that's that for the 2nd season chefs.

Finally, on The Worst Cooks in America, the chefs were first challenged to make burgers. OMG, how funny? They really did show who had a palate and who didn't. This time Georg won. Anytime you put a cheese core in the burger, it's good as long as you cook it well. The kicker was, the winning team was able to trade a cook from the other team. Pat was sent to the red team and Kelsey was taken to the blue team. Then the cooks had to replicate a dish again. Ann made lamb chops and Robert made duck. I can't believe they trusted the cooks w/ a mandolin and I'm surprised we didn't see anybody slice their hand. Even pro chefs do that. In the end, the dishes weren't as bad as usual. Carlos and Kelly won and 2 women were sent home. One was Erica. I loved her quote, "Who would ever invent a pan that wasn't nonstick?" Um...pioneers? ha ha ha.

Well, that's all. Check out some of the new shows. I have to say, America's over the decadent shows that show people w/ stupidly wasteful expensive stuff. We're also over stupid comedy disguised as clever: 30 Rock, The Office, Parks and Recreation. Really? We're supposed to believe joe schmos are wearing Prada, Gucci and Calvin Klein? Whatever.

Stay tuned and see ya next time!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Another week of TV.

The awards and pageant shows are coming. I'm glad to see they're back on network TV stations. The fashion critiquing shows are able to go at full speed too. Yay!

Cake Boss: The Next Great Baker is down to 5 bakertestants. So what does the boss do? He brings back Joe the loudmouthed schlub who thinks he's all that but was brought to his knees by a little Italian spitfire. First the chefs had to do intricate piping. Some griped about it but Jay reveled in it. He won but everybody did a pretty good job; even Brian w/ his big old hammy hands. So the teams had to do wedding cakes and they turned out really beautiful. Then they were taken to a rooftop and dumped off. You could see all the stomachs of the bakertestants, turning over. OMG! All that work for nothing. Then they had to make another one in less time. Why is Joe on the show? He can't even get a support centered on a board, he can't decorate neatly and he can't make anything that looks like anything. He looks like he should be picking up garbage for the city. In the end, the team of Jay, Brian and Dana made a beautiful cake that Buddy didn't like the taste of. The team of Corina, Meagan and Joe made a leaning tower of Pisa kind of cake that tasted delicious. For a wedding, the look is important so the men won and the bride and groom did like the taste. What's wrong w/ almond flavor? Buddy realized Joe did suck after all, and sent him home. We thought it was going to be a double elimination but Buddy decided not to send anyone else home. Whew!

On The Fashion Show, the designers worked in their houses again. This time they had to make designs to go w/ old vintage accessories: a pig jewel encrusted purse, a huge feathery hat, chandelier earrings, a bustle, a neck ruffle, a loud belt, weird feather cuffed gloves and a huge brooch. Since they each got 2 things, they had to make 2 designs. This was the opportunity to go all out crazy. All the looks looked really good; even Dominique's weird humpback caped look. When Iman announced Calvin was staying, everybody was surprised; especially Calvin. For once, he was speechless. But his looks were good. The judges were tired of Eduardo making the same fantastic dress w/ a big ruffle embellishment and sent him home. Lesson? Don't make the same thing all of the time; no matter how cool it looks. Jeffrey was named the winner w/ Iman saying she wanted to wear his dress. That's the win clincher on any fashion type show.

I did watch the crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser. They're still competing as couples in teams but the twist this season is, there are unknown trainers working w/ the 3rd group and the main groups are trying to beat them all of the time. Please please, tell me this is the show's way of weaning people away from Bob and Jillian. I don't need weaning since I've been sick and tired of those 2 meatheads for the last 2 years. Anyway, the fatties are even fatter. One guy is over 600 pounds. They're still crying though. They seem to only have one challenge. Maybe the show can't afford the free gifts anymore. So the challenge was to get the team across a body of water by using floating foam things that they first had to gather together and link or something like that. The main team didn't have a leader and couldn't seem to get it together. The unknowns have Rulon Gould, who they respect as a leader and he does a good job. It also helps that they're not as fat either. Since the teams are not together to compete against each other, it just doesn't seem as exciting w/ Allison on the sidelines yelling, "You'd better get going!" the whole time. It's really hard to compete that way. That's why they have all the runners in a race run together. Anyway, the weigh-in is separate too. I wonder why? During the show, the teams taunt each other sending high calorie snacks and stuff. It's rather juvenile. The main team pulled out the win by losing the most. I have to admit, I didn't watch the rest because I really don't give a rat's ass who goes home at this point. The point is, someone went home and they were from the unknowns team. See them at the finale.

Top Chef Allstars had a fun episode. There was no quickfire. Instead, the cheftestants were split up into 4 teams of 3 and were put on boats to catch their own main ingredient. I would've LOL if someone had come up w/ a lobster or an octopus. One boat had a really slow start and I was wondering what was going to happen if they didn't catch anything but the producers had faith. Everybody caught something. I was also surprised nobody got seasick. Then the chefs shopped at a farmer's market so the whole thing was about fresh local food. They took their fish and had to feed people on a beach party setting. At least they didn't have to cook on campstoves or firepits. The team of Marcel, Blaise and Fabio decided to put all their eggs in one basket and do one dish. OMG, what a hot mess. They had too many ideas and threw them all into the dish: gelee, foam, succotash, broth, sauce (eek! make it stop!). When Chef Colicchio says, "Are you sure you want to do that?" They really should listen. Tiffany left her bloodline in the fish against advice. Anyway, the secret to the winning dishes was to have a simple concept and tweak it. Dale made fish tacos, Carla a bagels and smoked fish in lettuce wrap dish, and Antonia a po boy. The judges loved all of them. Jamie decided to use cucumber water in her dish. Really? Isn't that mostly what cucumber is and therefore, w/ not a lot of taste of it's own? So the winner of the day was Carla who won a trip to Amsterdam to go along w/ her trip to Italy. Finally, finally, finally Jamie was sent home. Everybody was good w/ that; even Jamie. Tiffany was sent home too. During this season, we see she's matured and mellowed and much more likeable. Maybe cuz she knocked off that black eyeliner too. We were sorry to see her go. Isn't that the way it is? Just when we start to like them, they're sent home. Bitch Queen, you've been redeemed. So that's it for season one. No one left standing from that team. Once again, Fabio was saved. He seems to be the iron hammer of the group.

The Miss America Pageant did it's thing which seems very early in the year. When did they change that? This time, they let America pick 2 contestants and the contestants pick 2. That's kind of dumb since those girls were eliminated after the very first round. You really think you know better than the first round judges who are experienced w/ this? Interestingly enough, one girl was really young at 17, another had alopecia so had an array of wigs. One thing I did like was they did kind of a pop-up trivia thing where they showed little bits of trivia during walks and performances. As usual, there were a lot of dogs but the judges had good taste and the cute girls made the top 11. In the end, the 17 yr old Miss Nebraska who couldn't seem to hold her neck up straight , won. Some of the talent was pretty stupid. What the hell kind of dancing was that? It looked like Pee Wee Herman in a dress. Also, we had another creepy ventriloquist. Anybody ever hear of a sock puppet? Oh well. At least the winner didn't do that elevator thing while they were putting on her crown like one year. BTW, Chris Harrison was the host and I hated him just as much here. He's so smarmy and fake. Brooke Burns was really annoying and just held everyone up w/ her stupid questions. I was waiting for one of the girls to say, "To hell w/ that stupid Miss Congeniality prize. Get the hell out of my face!"

The Golden Globes were on ABC and hosted by Ricky Gervais. OMG, he skewered all those inflated egos and some didn't like it. I was glad to see one overblown show or movie didn't win everything. When that happens, the night gets boring cuz they seem to thank the same people and rave about the same things. Sandra Bullock and Julianne Moore came out in the ugliest frocks I've ever seen. The Brits ruled the night either presenting or winning every other trophy. Who the hell gives a rat's butt what the head of Hollywood Foreign Press has to say? There was no in memorium. They rushed everybody in the beginning but let the presenters ramble later on. Terrible directing. Brad and Angie looked like they're in a rift. Brad looked disinterested and Angie looked like she's hanging on to him desperately. Ooh, I can't wait to see the fashion wrap ups.

On The Worst Cooks In America, the chefs first had to replicate sauces. Really? They expect these people who have a distinguishing palate? They can't cook and so have probably relied on take out, packages and sandwiches for most of their lives. it was hilarious. Winners were chosen and won nothing except a little pride. But how much pride can you have when they totally say it's not good and then say your's wasn't the worst? Then the chefs had to replicate a dish. Why are they making them clean shrimp? You can always buy cleaned and deveined shrimp. I think they totally do stuff to make the cooks cringe. The black guy on the blue team lollygagged around so much, he didn't even get the food on the plate. The other team made fish so that wasn't as bad. Then the cooks had to replicate another dish that was even more complicated. This time it was steak on the red team. Joshie finally got meat he could recognize and won for his team. I still crack up when the cooks either look surprised or really disappointed when their food is deemed not good. Jen cracks me up the most. Her palate must not be too good either. In the end, the black middle aged housewife was sent home and the smart guy from the blue team who was doing really good. Everybody was surprised at that one. The redheaded girl is still continuing to burn her food. It's all so hilarious.

Well, that's about it. More shows are coming on. See ya next time!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Back to Reality

Well, the holidays are over and the shows are back.

The Cake Boss: Next Great Baker challenged his contestants to make a birthday cake for his 6 year old son. First they had a challenge where they had to decorate a cake w/ fondant and include a bow. I'm not sure what the point of the challenge was because I couldn't really see a prize. The southern white milquetoast guy won. Then Buddy brought the judges. They happen to be family. Buddy Jr. was brought in to tell what kind of cake he likes so the cakes had to be chocolate, vanilla and space themed. It turned out to be 2 teams. The teams took the space theme a little literal w/ planets and rockets. For some reason, I kind of thought more alien landscape but oh well. The goatee wearing doofus guy injured himself again but at least the moving parts of the cake he was responsible for worked. In the end, the team of Dana, the loud Italian girl and the goatee doofus guy won. Probably because the other team's cake fondant was falling apart. So in the end, the gay guy w/ the big glasses was sent home. Bye! I love the honesty of the judges. Dana's chocolate cake was deemed the worst cake ever. It was so bad the kid wouldn't eat it. But the cake still won. I'm not sure about that. Isn't this a baking competition? Oh well.

The Fashion Show was back. This time the designers had to work in teams of 2. The designers each pulled a ring out of a bag and whoever had matching rings, were a team. Everybody was praying they wouldn't have to work w/ that loud Philipino guy, Calvin. Poor Cindy, she got stuck w/ Calvin. The challenge was to make wedding looks for gay couples. Oh boy! So it's either 2 dresses or 2 suits. But not really. The lesbian couple wanted a suit for one and a mustard colored dress for the other. Aren't they supposed to be the brides? The other lesbian couple wanted beachy looks. Ohhh...kay. Finally, the gay couple wanted one suit and a Korean wedding gown look for a guy. Hmmm... Calvin was his old diplomatic self; not really. He and Cindy had the gay couple. Calvin managed to offend both guys. Okay, well on to the runway. Dominique won w/ her wrinkly yet cute wedding gown that was passable on a beach. Ceasar made some clown suit for his bride. I don't know why the judges didn't like it since that's what the lady wanted. Calvin and Cindy landed in the bottom due to the fact that Cindy couldn't make men's wear. It truly was a lumpy bumpy suit and really unflattering. So Calvin lives to see another runway show and Cindy was sent home. We get another show w/ Calvin driving everybody nuts. Cool!

On Top Chef Allstars, the quickfire started w/ Chef Colicchio racing around the kitchen and showing the cheftestants how to make a tasty dish in little over 8 minutes. I like that everybody got to taste it to prove it was done right and edible. Then they had to do the same. Somehow, Mike Isabella won. Maybe he's not such a dumbass after all. He not only won immunity, but also a brand new car. Then the chefs went to chinatown and were told they were to serve dim sum in a dim sum restaurant. Oh boy! I don't understand why the chefs had such a hard time shopping in a chinese store. Don't they know food stuffs by the way they look and smell? Have they never eaten in a Chinese restaurant? I couldn't believe the stuff they were planning on making: salads, long beans, rice dishes. Really? Dim Sum is like Chinese Tapas. Small varied finger foods like dumplings, shortribs, buns, and such. Sure they eat them w/ chopsticks but a one item pick up thing. Anyway, it was a disaster. Mike Isabella was the expediter since he had immunity. I expected lots of different dumplings and eggrolls and such but the chefs are so used to being pretentious, they were more into good plating instead of fast and furious food service. I was thinking, just put the food on a plate and get it out. Instead there was saucing and sprinkling: OMG. Colicchio ended up going to the kitchen and asking, "What the hell's going on here?" The chefs just looked at him like cats caught in headlights. Susur Lee was the guest judge. In the end, Dale T. was declared the winner w/ his sticky rice on a leaf dish. Really? Casey was sent home for her totally inedible chicken feet. Why do people do unfamiliar dishes in this kind of competition? She blamed it on the fact that someone else was supposed to finish her dish for her while she helped serve. That's dumb. First, she didn't need to cut the toenails off. I could see the feet had been thoroughly cleaned. That means they were blanched and the outer skin/scales were peeled off and the outer part of the toenail just pops off w/it. Then she could've flash fried the feet and braised them in a good sauce in a wok. All Antonia would've had to do was plop a couple on a plate and they're delicious. Oh well. I'm glad Casey was sent home. She always has that prom queen snootiness about her that says, "I'm cute. Everybody loves me and I can't do any wrong." Whatever. Goodbye. I'm so glad to see Fabio has pulled his finger out and is appearing in the top these days.

This is a really good season of Worst Cooks in America. The cooks were sent to a farm. I loved that they were shaking in their shoes thinking they might have to kill and clean an animal. Nope, they were taught to make omelets. OMG, these poor cooks. Why are they making them do such complicated stuff? These people either are really unfamiliar w/ kitchen and cooking stuff or disasters in the kitchen. So of course, there were a lot of overdone brown omelets. One cook hated eggs and I can totally relate. How do you judge whether something is good if you can't stand it in the first place? At least we got to see every dish being tasted. I love Robert Irvine. When something's really bad, he actually makes gagging noises and it's the funniest thing ever. Funny enough, the 2 worst cooks from last week won this challenge. What did they win? Nothing but a prideful moment. For the elimination, the cooks had to replicate a dish after being shown how to make it. Everybody took notes but the notebooks were taken away. Boy were the cooks lost. They didn't know how much, how hot, how long, how big anything had to be. It's obvious, they still don't know the rules of cooking and are being taught dishes that are way too complicated for them. I like that one cook left out the thyme and Robert Irvine could totally tell. After tasting a burnt dish, Anne said, "I've never had such a burner." Hee hee, yep, these truly are bad cooks. In the end, 2 guys were sent home. They happened to be the student and the engineer.

On Sarah Palin's Alaska, Sarah took her daughter and went logging. I love watching her try all this stuff. She's very gung ho, cheerful and optimistic. She gives a lot of positive reinforcement saying, "That was good Piper." A lot. Also, when things seem to go a little wonky, she never seems to panic and takes everything w/ good humour. Maybe that is a good sign of a leader. I just wouldn't be able to stand hearing that chipper voice coming from the oval office. I'm not sure what else there is to do in Alaska besides smoking meat and carving totems. Maybe she'll do that too. We'll see.

Well, that's it for this week. New shows are coming. The crying fatties aka, The Biggest Loser is back but I don't think I'll watch it until they get new trainers. It's just the same old show w/ different fatties. Showtime is coming out w/ 2 new shows.

See ya next time!

Monday, January 3, 2011

It's a new year!

Okay, so the new seasons haven't really started yet but that's the way it goes. I loved the holiday season. I watched about 10 different versions of A Christmas Carol including the Dr. Who one. Even though you know the cranky guy is going to be nice at the end, it's still fun to see. I never get tired of the Muppet Christmas Carol either. I think I've watched it every year. The funniest part? Michael Caine is the worst singer in the show.

The shows all took a break so there's not much to write about.

Sarah Palin's Alaska is really fun to watch. She shows the great things to do in Alaska and things to see like panning for gold, dog sledding, salmon fishing and just seeing all of the wildlife. It is during the summer. The winter activities probably aren't as much fun since they're pretty much just surviving the cold and snowshoeing. Still, I love Sarah's upbeat attitude when trying anything. She's very gung ho and not wussy at all. She is overcoming her airhead status w/ me. The kids crack me up because they treat everything as kind of ho hum. I'm sure this isn't the first time they've done these activities and they're more honest about it. I also like seeing Sarah trying to curb the boy activity w/ Piper. I'm thinking she probably doesn't want her to get knocked up too. I'm always surprised how the time flies when watching this show.

Sister Wives is very interesting. They've gotten a new wife added to the family and we got to see the process. Cody is kind of airheaded and keeps putting his foot in his mouth. He's seems to be the giddy twitterpated one of the relationship. Meanwhile, the other wives are caught between jealousy and wanting to be supportive. The first wife takes the whole thing the best. The wife who just had the new baby takes the whole thing the worst. The kids seem to be okay w/ everything and even like the idea of having step siblings. Robin is subdued because she doesn't want to step on any toes and wants to be accepted well by the other wives. There's a lot of comparing one wedding to another. I'm wondering if the money from doing the show has made Cody feel free and generous.

The Cake Boss's baking competition has been fun to watch. Last week, the teams had to make Christmas cakes. First, for the quick challenge, the bakers had to decorate a cake in about 15 minutes. Buddy went ahead and demonstrated and did his cake in 5 just to show how easy it is. I think that tall white chick won. For the elimination challenge, it was men vs. women except Greggy was on the men's team. Dana impressed everyone by doing all of the intricate work. The teams also had to do a traditional Italian dinner for the bakery's employees for the holidays. Dana did 3 dishes and Corina did 1. The women bickered and turned out a huge sagging fireplace cake. The men worked well together and made a winter wonderland tree cake complete w/ blown sugar ornaments. That Chinese chick is like a lot of Asians. She thinks she's smarter and therefore superior and is difficult to lead. She also does not work well w/ others. I was impressed that the only guy who helped the ladies move their heavy cake to the table was Dana. What a nice guy and it makes people less likely to stab him in the back. So anyway, the men won and that homely white chick was sent home. This week, for the quick challenge,the bakers had 3 baking skills they had to do quickly: crack a dozen eggs, roll out a pie shell, and then make a fondant rose. That tall white chick came out of nowhere and won. She was able to pick the teams for the elimination challenge. As was expected, she picked all the skilled bakers and people who got along well to be on her team. Funny enough, it turned out to be all the guys except Greggy. Then Buddy told her she had to switch teams. Har har! You could see her say, "Oh shit." Through her stiff smile. The teams had to do a special effect cake. Somehow this meant explosions to everybody. Buddy brought out 2 of the most grody looking guys to introduce the challenge. They looked like hippie tokers. Once again, Corina and the Chinese chick bickered. The airbrush motor fell on the foot of that tall white chick and she ended up going to the hospital. The chinese chick and that chubby white guy bragged they were so good at special effects and fireworks. Oh hello, grain alcohol is never a good explosive cuz it burns too quickly and doesn't make a flame you can really see too well. In the end both cakes were duds. I LOL. Then they blew up both cakes to show their disgust. The men were told their's was the best of the 2 crappy cakes. That chinese girl was sent home for not being a very good team player. Yay!

The Worst Cooks In America had it's first show. This time it's Robert Irvine w/ Anne Burrell. I think they should call it The Scariest Cooks in America. One chick said she gave her husband food poisoning twice. One chick said everytime she goes into the kitchen she sets something on fire. Oh boy! I love when Robert and Anne tasted someone's food and gagged. Some people would look so hurt and surprised. I think this time people were shanghaied and brought in by their friends or families. That's hilarious. That one middle aged lady looked really hurt and I feel so sorry for her family who had to gag her food down all their lives. I know how they feel. So they chose 16 as the worst of the worst and brought them to New York. Then they each had to make a dish from scratch. One good rule is to never use canned anything. Professional chefs hate canned food. One girl made everyone cough w/ her peppery smoke. I like that there are more straight guys on the show. So after tasting the dishes which ranged from totally gross to not too bad, Robert and Anne picked people to be on each other's teams. Anne got both middle aged ladies and that airheaded blonde on her team. Robert got the very enthusiastic people on his team. Then Robert and Anne demonstrated a chicken dish. Why are they making beginner cooks cut up a chicken when stores will sell you chicken parts? Why are they having beginner cooks cook w/ alcohol? So then the cooks had to replicate the dishes. Yep, some of the butchering was a disaster and there were 2 fires. Some of the cooks showed they had some potential and just need a little direction. Some showed they didn't have a clue. Some showed they didn't have a palate and some showed they were a disaster waiting to happen. For the first episode, they should've really extended the show to more than an hour because the editing was very choppy and we didn't get to see Robert and Anne do all the tasting which is actually the most fun to watch. Since there's always a double elimination until the teams become 1 group, next week's show will be shorter w/ less cooks. In the end, the Asian newlywed chick and the white guy bar owner were sent home. I kind of feel sorry for the bar owner guy cuz he wanted to learn to cook to make food in his bar to probably save money. He'll have to invest in cooking classes now.

I recommend watching Conan O'Brien's new late show on TBS. He's even more quirky and funny. Since he's on cable, he feels comfortable doing whatever he likes and we like that. He also has impressive guests and is free to have whoever he wants on because he doesn't have to worry that they're on a competing network. If you're going to watch a late show on a network, I always love Craig Furguson. He has that cute Scottish accent and he's funnier than heck. For the morning shows, avoid the Today show. Meredith Viera is the dumbest and most annoying thing on legs since Kathie Lee Gifford. Oh, she's on the mid morning show. Yikes! I guess NBC likes their morning hosts airheaded. Gifford tries to act 30 when we all know she's 60. It only makes her seem like she has dementia. I hope poor Hoda gets a lot of money for putting up w/ her every weekday.

The new seasons are starting this week and the running shows will be back too. Good thing, I'm really missing Raising Hope.

See you next time.