Things Are Picking Up!

Hello all.  I'm so glad to see the return of Top Chef Masters and Project Runway.  At the same time, other shows had their finales.  So here we go.

Food Network Star finally revealed the winner.  First, they gathered all the past contestants from the season to show clips and snips; some of which were totally hilarious.  We got some insight toward the downfalls of the contestants from the judges' points of view and we got to see the bloopers.  The total professionalism of the season showed in that I didn't really hate to see anybody return to the show.  There were a lot of times in the show when I would say, "Ohhh...that explains a lot." Ok, so in the end, Justin was declared the winner and he seemed in shock.  I don't know why because we're all ready for his funky coolness in a show.  He was quite gracious and the show ended 2 minutes after the announcement.  Jeez, not a lot of time to see him be congratulated.  WTG Justin, I'm expecting good stuff from you.

America's Got Talent is still whittling away at the acts.  I'm happy to see some really cool stuff that isn't all singers that have a real shot.  I just hope the American people vote for them.  I hope that light show act wins.  That kind of thing is really cool to see in a Vegas show.  I'm very glad to see the judges pointing out the value of the multi layered acts.

American Ninja Warrior had it's finale w/ the group of guys who completed stage 1 moving on to stage 2.  OMG, it was a freakin' blood bath.  Only 1 guy finished the course.  Then he went on to stage 3 which was all about hand strength and endurance.  Unfortunately, we have no American Ninja Warrior this year and for some odd reason, I did love it when Matt announced, "See you next year."  Watching the whole thing really made me admire those Japanese guys who finished the course in Japan.  They were totally awesome!  In the meantime, all you Ninja Warrior wannabes; practice practice practice.

Hell's Kitchen had a Southern food show.  Each chef partnered up w/ a chef from the opposing team and were given ingredients to work w/ like catfish and grits, etc.  Then they made a dish each to be judged head to head.  What?  No Paula Deen?  The only annoying thing was the gospel choir singers announcing each ingredient.  That got tiring after the first one.  Anyway, most of the dishes were judged as pretty good but the red team pulled out the win.  BTW, aren't balls of meatloaf called meatballs?  For the prize, the red team had the photoshoot for the magazine cover and a spa day.  The punishment consisted of cleaning the dorms.  For dinner service, the theme was of course; wait for it...Southern food complete w/ catfish, grits and fried chicken.  Well, at least they had a day off from scallops.  Unfortunately, the catfish seemed to be harder to cook than the chefs realized.  It was burned, raw and sometimes both.  Everybody thought Kimmie would be stellar since she bragged about how great she was at Southern food but then again, she's bragged about being a great cook of everything else too.  We always knew Kimmie had help from Tiffany but we never knew how much because w/ Tiffany gone, Kimmie had nowhere to hide.  In the blue kitchen, everybody had problems.  Robin precooked her garnishes and hid them in the oven which really ticked off Chef Ramsey cuz his big thing is freshness of food.  She took up a lot of time fingerpointing again, blaming members of her team for telling her to use the warming oven blah blah blah.  Justin got killed by the meat station and Clemenza couldn't get consistency on his apps.  Ugh.  I thought Chef Ramsey was going to have a stroke.  In the end, both teams were told they were losers but it was Kimmie who got the boot.  Bye Kimmie, go bully someone in your own place.  The next day the chefs had to do the cooking relay.  This is always an interesting challenge because the chefs can't hide their ineptitude.  Clemenza drove his blue team crazy by wasting time during his 10 minutes of cooking to tie his apron just so.  OMG, really?  Everybody was surprised that none of the dishes came out good.  Some were undercooked, some were overcooked, and there was sauce and garnish missing.  Chef Ramsey was not only shocked but very disappointed and I would add, enlightened.  Most of the problem was terrible disorganization.  The teams just couldn't seem to get it together and maybe that's the problem at dinner services.  There was no winner and all the chefs had to do the punishment.  I loved that Chef Ramsay told them what they would be missing for not winning.  What a way to kick them when they're down.  Hee hee hee.  The punishment consisted of cleaning all the cars, and the red carpet area.  There was a lot of complaining and shouting.  At dinner service the blue team got through the apps but Brian got killed by that meat station.  The red team, of just 3 ladies, completed their dinner service and Barbie was called to the red team's kitchen to pull their fat out of the fire; which she did.  WTG Barbie!  I still don't understand why the girls don't like her.  So needless to say, the blue team lost and the whole team had to present themselves for elimination.  Brian got the boot.  Yep, he used up his last chance.  Bye Brian.  You're cute and funny but those aren't things Chef Ramsay values in a chef.

MasterChef brought back past eliminated cooks to see who could earn their way back.  Everybody was disappointed to see Ryan back.  Man, that guy has one heckuva big ego and can't shut up.  He totally got booted and was still bragging about what a great cook he is.   So they did the mystery box thing but the cooks each had to pick an ingredient to go in it.  There were some crazy choices and no starch.  How funny was that?  In the end, there were quite a few desserts presented to the judges.  It's lucky the cooks don't have to use all the ingredients like on Chopped.  I was impressed w/ Stacey making pasta and the judges loved her dish.  In the end, Josh w/ the big wide nostrils and Ryan were the last 2 standing.  Then they had to each make a fruit tarte which was to be judged by the top 6 cooks.  That meant those cooks couldn't watch and throw out digs while the guys cooked.  Josh pulled out the win and all the other cooks rejoiced because Ryan was sent home again.  For the next challenge the cooks had to work w/ live prawns.  OMG, it was the funniest thing to watch w/ a lot of screams and squeals.  Those buggers were really active.  I was thinking someone dumped Red Bull into their tanks.  Shockingly enough, David won the round but he was smart enough to use the shells to make a sauce.  The next test was to make a dessert w/ a specific ingredient.  David's advantage was to pick the ingredient and then see 3 examples of desserts made w/ that ingredient.   He chose corn and then chose to make a rice pudding made w/ corn in it.  Then he got time alone to pick his ingredients for his dish in the pantry.  What an idiot.  He forgot to get rice.  OMG, well instead of making it work and making another kind of dessert w/ corn, he stood around and begged people for rice.  Nobody thought he was much of a threat and Becky gave him some rice.  Good thought cuz his dessert turned out to be worse than dog food.  He said it tasted just like his Mom made at home which earned a huge glaring look from Judge Joe.  It made me think maybe his Mom can't cook either.   Becky was declared the winner and David proved he must have a lucky charm in his pocket cuz Felix was sent home for her really dense profiteroles filled w/ popcorn.  Ick.  Bye Felix, I'm sick to death of seeing you cry so go sit in the corner.

Love In the Wild had it's finale w/ Ken and Yanina and Ben and Michelle the last couples standing.  Once again they had to run around the island doing various tasks in various modes.  Wow!  This show is redundant and boring to the end.  They tried to show Ben and Michelle always being close on the heels of Ken and Yanina.  The overnight was hilarious w/ the people trying to build shelters and cook meals and not caring about how they turned out.  They were totally exhausted from the day and one thing we noticed was not much cuddling going on at that point.  I think lack of a shower contributed too.  In the end, Ken and Yanina hit the finish mat first w/ their statues.  It proved the show lied and Ben and Michelle were never close enough to overtake them.  Yawn.  They did give updates on the relationships.  BFD, I didn't care and I hope to never see these people on TV ever again.

Top Chef Masters is back w/ some really cool chefs for example:  Chris Cosentino, Lorena from the Taco Bell commercials, a thinner Art Smith, Chef Takashi, Chef Leo and more.  OMG, I'm totally impressed and excited.  It looks like they're sticking w/ the format from last season so I'm expecting some really tired and grouchy chefs toward the end.  The show's in Las Vegas this season and they're using the gambling motif.  For the quickfire Chef Stone pulled out cards w/ ingredients.  The chefs were paired up into teams and given 2 random ingredients.  I didn't understand why the chefs thought quinoa and shellfish would be hard to work w/.  The real problem was the time constraint of just 15 minutes.  Oy!  I saw the problem cuz the quinoa would take 20 to make.  Casino dealers were brought in to taste and judge and deemed the team of Cosentino and Leo the winners w/ their catfish and beef dish.  Wow!  That was some impressive cooking since they had to take a little time to break down their meats.  For the elimination challenge, the chefs were put into 2 teams by Curtis saying, "Split the group there and you on that side are one team and you on that side are a team."  That's hilarious cuz some of the chefs were standing by their buddies.  The teams then caucussed (thank you Tim Gunn) for their buffet dishes and then shopped for ingredients.  I loved Art Smith saying he didn't know what a budget was cuz he cooks for billionaires.  Oh boy!  When the chefs returned to the kitchen, they got a really big surprise cuz that's when Curtis handed them the curveballs.  They got scratch tickets that had various "prizes":  immunity, lost time, switch teams and money.  I thought the money was to go to their charities but no it was supposed to go for more ingredients:  hint hint.  Then the teams were given their food themes.  I felt so sorry for the blue team for getting Indian cuisine because there are no Indian chefs this season.  Too bad Suvir wasn't there.  I was thinking the blue team would send someone to load up on spices and yoghurt but nope, nobody was sent to the store.  The red team sent Art who didn't complain at all about the trip taking time out of his cooking time.  I have a feeling he already had a plan to make a simple and fast dish.  Someone knows how to play this game.  One chef totally skinned her hand on the mandoline and had to spend the day in the ER.  It was cool that not only did her teammates finish her dish, but did a good job of it too.  So after seeing a bunch of Vegas show people going through the chefs' buffets and make dumb comments the judges finally tasted the food.  I loved the little argument between Ruth and James over the lemon dessert.  I don't know why, but I really like James.  He's geeky in that cool way.  Anyway, the red team's Mexican buffet was declared the winner which was no surprise since the blue team didn't have anything that was really Indian.  What?  Nobody knows how to make a curry?  In the end, the Chef who mangled her hand announced her inability to stay in the competition and that blonde lady chef who wished her theme was Mexican was sent home.  Well Luck wasn't w/ her.  Both teams lost a chef and it turned out to be a double elimination show.  Yay!  I love those.

Project Runway had it's unconventional challenge.  The show was an hour and a half and I thought, yay!  They're finally going to show model choosing again.  Nope, they didn't.  Aw...shucks.  I don't know why, but I've always liked that part of the show.  Maybe they've cut out the modeling competition part of the show.  One thing they did cut was the cash prize.  The winner gets a prize package of stuff from a computer company, a car and an opportunity to show their line.  There was a spoiler on 2 people who just up and quit the show and now I know why.  If there's no cash prize and you have all the stuff anyway, what's the point of winning except for bragging rights?  Anyway, back to the show.  The designers had to work w/ candy.  There was a good 10 minute in show commercial for a certain candy store and then the designers were let loose w/ a certain amount of money.  That's new.  I've never seen a money amount except at Mood.  I have to say, I was totally impressed w/ the designers this year.  There was very little whining about the materials and really only 4 people who had cloth material showing.  Kooan, the kooky kabuki, seems to be the Santino of the season and can't help but over embellish his designs.  That boring middle aged white lady made all kinds of excuses and had very little candy on her dress.  She was totally raked over the coals by the judges.  Ven made a gorgeous dress and I loved his instructions to his model to not bend, sit down or even brush up against anything.  I really liked the dress made by the winner from the last challenge and thought it looked like something Kristen Stewart would wear.  I was surprised he didn't end up in the top 3.  Sonjia isn't pronounced Sonya but she made a gorgeous aqua themed dress that probably smelled really nice w/ gummy sharks, jordan almonds, jawbreakers and jellybeans.  I couldn't believe she got all that stuff glued onto that dress.  Gunnar finally put his money where his mouth was and turned out a cute checkered dress made out of licorice but that peplum was quite large.  The judges weren't loving hats which I can't understand since Princess Kate is making them look so chic these days.  Ven was declared the winner.  Finally, that boring white middle age lady ran out of excuses and chances and was auffed.  Bye, whoever you are.  Not only are you gone, but forgotten too.

Well, that's about it. I'm glad to see Lex Medlin will be back at Drop Dead Diva.  Even though he's gained weight, he's still quite a cutie.  We lost 2 great TV actors this week:  Sherman Hemsley and Chad Everett.  They will be missed but will forever live on in TV land and in our hearts.

See you next time people.  Until then, stay tune.

Tragedies and Triumphs

The huge news of the weekend is the shooting at the Batman: The Dark Knight Rises movie.  For a nation that feels like it's teetering on the edge of sanity w/ a bad economy, shaky employment, housing foreclosures happening left and right, scammers running rampant and a season of mudslinging politicians;  we have a huge tragedy happen to an area that already got smoked out by Mother Nature.  I think the major question to every god is, why?  Our hearts go out to all the victims of the terrible event.  I say all the victims because the people who died or were shot weren't the only victims.  Families lost loved ones and people will live w/ the nightmare that they witnessed.  As a nation, we've lost more of our trusting and innocence.  I mourn for all that has been lost and for all the lives that have been negatively impacted by one person's inhumane actions.  I'm sure you're asking why this is in my blog.  It's been all over my TV since the early morning of Friday and our lives are changed by what we hear and see from the TV.

Ok, so on to the real subject.

Food Network Star was 1 episode away from the finale.  The last 6 contestants were told to make a segment and promo for their show and their number would be cut in half for the finale.  So there was a talk w/ their mentors and they had a couple of practices before the real filming.  Yvan made a really gross pedestrian dish w/ canned cream corn and mac and cheese w/ his brother in the kitchen.  Ok, ick to both.  The brother may as well have been a turnip sitting on the counter and the dish looked like something a hobo would cook up.  Yeah, sorry Yvan but your show would only get 1 viewing.  Nikki did her Grill Next Door thing that nobody seems to think is cute more than once.  We have too many grilling shows and she looked stiffer than a 2 day old corpse.  Next!  Ippy did his Hawaiian laid back thing but it was so forgettable, I forgot the name he came up w/ for his show.  He also mentioned he's half Italian.  Yeesh, that was confusing.  His dish looked good but it seemed redundant.  If you've run out of ideas for new dishes already, this job isn't for you.  Marti is possibly the most irritating Southern lady since that christian girl from Steel Magnolias.  She named her show Marti w/ the Party which sounds a lot like Aarti Party.  She made a shrimp salad looking thing that looked like it should've been a lot easier to make than she showed.  Also, her party looked like a church potluck.  Where was that set, behind the dumpsters?  Next!  Michele was trying her darndest to sell her New England food show.  I agree w/ some facebookers that that subject is kind of limited but for a West Coast person like me, it's intriguing.  Her dish was a huge bowl of steamed clams and bread.  Hmmm...so it's home cooking huh?  She did really good w/ her on-camera persona though.  Finally, Justin showed a snippet of Alton's old show and then showed us how to make Caesar Salad in a new way.  I have never heard of Caesar Salad made w/ a chicken stock based dressing and there was no hint of egg or anchovies.  When the word aspic is used in the dish, it gets a gross rating from me.  So actual Food Network stars were brought in to view and judge the videos of the contestants.  In the end, the judges totally lied and now there are 4 people in the finale.  They only cut Ippy and Nikki.  Really?  They couldn't make up their minds about Alton's team?  They're pretty lame judges.  The winner will be chosen by viewer votes.  Cool cuz the last time they did this, Guy Fieri won and he's one of the few winners I've liked.  Dan and Steve, Aarti, and the Sandwich King are the others.  I'll be interested to see who suckered the most people.

America's Got Talent was in New York.  They still have a huge group of acts so they showed similar ones but only about a 3rd of them.  Once again, the judges were very good.  They were honest and right to the point telling people when it didn't work.  Some of the acts proved that they really are showing talent.  The magicians are looking very amateur even when they do big things like make helicopters appear.  The escape artist shows he knows how to create the drama.  I'm glad they got rid of that weird contortionist/dancer guy.  It grosses me out to watch him.  The circus couple who can lift each other were amazing and did an aerial act that showcased their strength and grace.  The got rid of some of the singers which is good because that batch of acts really needs paring down.  The elderly acts didn't fare well at all and were all cut.  I agreed w/ the acts that were kept and cut.  Way to go judges.  You have talent too.  The talent to know crap from gold.

Hell's Kitchen had one huge episode in 2.  I hate that because they take up 2 nights.  Anyway, for the team challenge, they finally got around to the blind taste test.  Before that though, Ramsey brought in Joey Chestnut to compete in a hotwing eating contest w/ 4 of the chefs.  We already knew Joey would smoke everyone but it was really hilarious to watch.  You could tell Ramsay was LOL the whole time too.  In the taste test, we found Kimmie's a chicken cuz she opted to sit out.  Robin and Tiffany have terrible palates and can't tell corn flakes from cat litter.  Brian and Justin have amazing palates.  I did include Brian because even though he thought the shallots were onions, I say close enough on that.  Ramsay was really impressed that Justin got 100% correct which hadn't happened in any season of Hell's Kitchen.  The blue team won and for the prize, the team had a waterpark all to themselves for a day.  Meanwhile, the girls team had to tend all the deliveries for the day.  At midnight a package was delivered and I was wondering why everyone wasn't in bed.  Anyway, the chefs got instructions to make their own menus to be served at dinner service.  Red team came up w/ rather ordinary but easy to make dishes.  Blue team was more fancy but more difficult.  For some odd reason people were really cranky during the prep time the next day but it was probably due to lack of sleep.  Man, the dirty looks were shooting everywhere.  At dinner service the women did a pretty good job of banging out their dishes w/ a few hiccups and Tiffany trying to cook in a dirty pan.  She only had 4 stacks of saucepans in front of her but she was probably too lazy to heat up a new pan.  Barbie did a really good job of taking the fat out of the fire a few times when her team would hit a glitch.  On the blue team Robin ran out of stuffed squash blossoms due to messing up a few and then tried to blame it on Justin's prep.  She wasted a lot of time fingerpointing and whining.  Meanwhile, Clemenza and Justin couldn't seem to get the fish and meat in sync.  In the end, Ramsay wasn't satisfied w/ either team's service.  The red team put up Barbie and Tiffany.  The blue team put up Robin and Clemenza.  Tiffany finally blew her last chance and was sent home.  Bye Tiff, see you at McDonalds.

MasterChef had the cooks team up in 2 teams and cook steaks for cowboys.  Monty and Frank chose their teams and then those team members were switched to the other team.  LMAO!  Anyway Monty was frantic w/ a rather unsupportive team.  For some odd reason, most of the cooks dislike Monty.  I have no idea why but maybe she sneezes on people's breakfast or something that we don't get to see.  Frank's menu was homey and rather easy w/ mashed potatoes and corn on the cob and it went over really well w/ the cowboys.  It didn't help that Monty's team ran out of mashed sweet potatoes halfway through the service.  All they had was green beans to go w/ the steak and if you ask most cowboys, they're not too keen on green veggies.  So in the end, Monty's team lost and had to do the cooking test.  Felix was given the immunity by Monty which the tall black guy and Becky weren't happy about.  I don't know what was going on, but the black guy's nostrils looked extra large this episode.  So the trio were each given 6 eggs.  1 was to be poached, 1 was to be soft boiled, 1 was to be cooked sunnyside up and the last 3 were to be made into an omelet so there was no testing or dropping allowed.  I like when a cook admits their mistake because it means that's not what they intended.  Monty admitted her omelet wasn't good looking but at least she seasoned well and her soft boiled egg was really beautiful.  The other 2 cooks were too cautious on their soft boiled eggs and Becky basted her sunny side which also had that brown lacy edge that chefs hate to see.  The black guy overcooked all of his eggs except the boiled one and he was sent home.  For the mystery box challenge the cooks had to cook something southern because Paula Deen announced it after stepping out of the big box.  Frank won w/ his grits and steak roulade dish.  An Italian who can make polenta; who da thunk it?  Anyway, the cooks then had to reproduce a sushi plate but in teams of two cooking tag team style and Frank got to pick the teams but not participate.  Yikes!  Sushi chefs take years to learn how to make sushi and they wanted the cooks to do it in an hour?  Stacey and Christina had the worst disadvantage because not only did Christina work slower than others just out of caution w/ her disability, but she also couldn't give any instruction or verbal help when Stacey was cooking.  Felix and Monty won w/ one gorgeous sushi plate.  Even though Becky and David's plate looked like cat food, they still won, over Stacey and Christina who left the maki roll off of their plate.  Stacey was sent home.  Unfortunately, she wasn't able to cover up her ignorance of Japanese cooking.

Love in the Wild was down to 3 couples.  Once again, the couples had a whole course of stuff to do to find 5 map pieces to get to a destination.  I finally realized they've been on the same island or whatever for the whole season.  Well that's boring and they're pretty dumb if they need a map after all this time.  I noticed the afraid of heights princess who looks like Melissa Rycroft was missing.  Well, that's what she gets for changing her guy every week.  So the teams ride horses, run through the jungle, cross a river, swim in a lagoon and carry stuff; again.  The team that started out first didn't finish first.  I'll call the winners team 1.  Team 1 got to choose who's in the finale w/ them.  The ballsy blonde chick decides to be bitchy to team 1's guy which wasn't smart.  Team 1 chose the other team and there it was.  This show's kinda dumb and it took me all season to realize it.  I do like that the people left have foreign accents.  That's kind of cool.

Around the World in 80 Plates had it's finale too.  Liz, Snookie and Avery made their way to Uruguay where they had to first shop in 3 places and then make a local kind of dish in the time left of the 2 hours they were given.  Snookie got advice from the local ladies who pointed him to premade stuff like chorizo and carmelized onions in jars.  I have a feeling they were selling him the more pricey stuff.  Avery wanted to cook fish but no pescado in a butcher shop so got chicken instead.  Liz forgot to buy salt and nobody would give her any.  Whatever!  Cat and Aussie were the judges.  They could tell Nookie's dish had premade stuff and totally knocked him for it.  Avery was declared the winner and was able to choose her opponent for the last challenge.  She chose Liz much to everybody's surprise and delight.  They headed for California for the last leg of the trip.  They then had to shop at certain stores and when they got there, they got to choose a past eliminated chef from a group of 3.  Liz ended up w/ Chaz and John.  I thought those were terrible choices since both guys proved they couldn't cook their way out of paper bags; especially Chaz.  Also, Chaz has the palate of a sick monkey.  Avery chose Jenna and Nick.  They had to serve 3 dishes to a group of award winning and well known chefs.  Avery proved experience helps a lot and the proof was in the eating.  No conniving votes here.  Avery was declared the winner, everybody congratulated her, they brought out her family, she cried and that was that.  Whatever.  I was just glad Chaz, Jenna or Keven didn't win.

Project Runway is back w/ some really interesting contestants.  I like that there is one really serious and professional minded guy.  They also included one kooky kabuki Japanese designer and he's hilarious just w/ his broken English.  When the judges give him their critique, you can tell he only understands half of what they're saying.  Gunnar from last season is back and very prancy gay w/ a diva attitude.  Not at all appealing.   I thought a lot of the designers made some dogshit stuff but what do I know?  The lady who got ousted worked w/ knits.  I didn't hate her stuff as much as that other lady's muddy stuff but the judges were bored and that's the kiss of death.  Klum seems to be in better spirits since her split from Seal.  Nina got a better hairstyle that keeps her face from looking so rodent-like and Kors isn't as orange as he used to be.  It should be a fun season.

Charlie Sheen's new show Anger Management is showing.  Ok I have to ask.  How come they always name his character Charlie?  Is it because he can't remember any other name?  For a show that shouldn't sound dull, this one is.  Sheen still seems like he's working despite being stoned and his co-stars act like they're humoring him.  The writing is spotty w/ some characters having funny moments despite aggravating personalities.  I don't know what's going on but it seems the writers stole dialogue from Sheen's previous show.  Chuck Lorre should rain down some hurt on them w/ a girl named Sue.  Yeah, this show's not a winner.

There's nothing really new on.  Dallas is continuing to be really good and exciting and Drop Dead Diva is breaking my heart these days.  The Olympics are on next week and the next.  Hopefully the TV world won't be intimidated cuz I'm going to hate it if there's nothing new on for 2 whole weeks.  I've already said what I think of the Olympics in this modern era.  Borrrrrring!

See ya next time people.  Until then, stay tuned.

Slim Pickins For Summer

Hello everyone.  I'm sorry I may have missed a week.  I'm just going to go w/ what I've seen this week so don't be surprised if you've been watching the shows and I have gaps.

American Ninja Warrior is finally in Las Vegas and showing the first stage of Mount Midoriyama.  I totally LOL when Matt Iseman says it because his voice changes to a gruff tough voice and it's hilarious.  They've only shown the bottom half of the men and some have proven to be quite impressive.  They also included some women as wildcards but they were disappointing.  The furthest a woman got was the jumping spider which she fell on.  I especially like when a cocky guy totally goes in the drink.  Haw haw.  Some of the guys w/ the bigger sob stories i.e. homeless, diabetic, jobless, etc.  really make you say, "Aw..." when they fail.  It's still exciting to watch and when a guy finishes the course, you really know he had the right combination of preparation, determination, luck and skill.  I can't wait to see the top finishers and see who gets shaken out.

America's Got Talent finally got done in Las Vegas.  Thank you Sharon, Howie and Howard for making good decisions.  I'm sorry but even though the rapping granny and rapping casio carrying grandpa were cute, they really didn't merit going any further.  The judges showed good taste.  I was surprised that some acts did worse w/ no audience.  For some reason, opera singers didn't do it for the judges.  I have a feeling that's the difference between Piers and Howard.  On to New York.  I hope the acts are more prepared and spectacular.  Maybe this year the winner won't be another singer.

Food Network Star had a challenge that was a little different for each contestant.  They had to do a live presentation to an audience and then the judges gave them glitches to throw them off.  Yvan did the best w/ his microphone going on the fritz and then having production people trying to fix it.  I was surprised Marty was able to keep her presentation down to 3 minutes but maybe it helped that she had ingredients missing because she couldn't go on and on about them.  Ippy had an audience walkout, the grill girl had a blender malfunction, Martita had wrong ingredients, Justin had a heckler and Michele had a PA who gave her completely wrong time cues.  I really thought Michele had the hardest one because each time the guy held up another time cue, she had to take that second to read it and process it.  Then they told her time was up and then to stretch it.  I think at that point I would've pointed out the complete stupidity of the time cue guy.  Poor Ippy lost the air in his balloon when the audience started leaving.  Justin looked totally pissed off at the heckler.  He really should've just taken 10 seconds to tell the audience he would take questions after the presentation.  Instead of joking about wrong ingredients on the table, Martita got perturbed.  Rule #1 in TV, never let them see you sweat and look happy at all times.  Luckily, the food wasn't being made onstage that was served to the judges.  In the end, Alton's team was declared the winners w/ Yvan told he did the best.  So Ippy and Martita had to do the judges final challenge.  I declare Ippy the black hammer of the season.  For the final presentation, they got a mystery ingredient they had to do a bit on.  By this time, the contestants should know Bob and Susie want anecdotes regarding the food.  Ippy had one that made no sense and Martita didn't.  The ingredient was oranges.  Ippy told something about making bug juice which had something to do w/ tangerines.  At the end, nobody knew what bug juice was.  Anyway, Martita was sent home for not being engaging.  I'm finding the people seem to be losing what they had in the beginning.  What's happening?  Are they sleep deprived?  Are they nervous in a smaller pool?  Are they second guessing themselves?  It's so weird.  Also, is it just me or is Ippy getting bigger in size each week?  I don't know.  I still miss Emily.  Come back Retro Rad Girl!

Hell's Kitchen is rehashing cooking challenges from past seasons.  This time they drug out the craps table w/ the alphabet dice.  Robin gave the funny ingredient which made her whole blue team groan and the women thought they had the challenge in the bag.  The men made the fruit ingredient work and pulled out the win.  Someone on that red team has a weird palate and it shows.  For the win, the blue team went to Las Vegas for the night and had a great time.  It was also a good commercial for the casino except they really didn't show any gambling. Probably because nobody's there gambling.  I also wondered why they didn't have the Hell's Kitchen jet.  Is the show economizing?  For their punishment, the women had to babysit a BBQ all night and there was no getting away from it due to a really loud alarm that went off every hour.  OMG, those women looked so tired, I was expecting lots of fighting and grouchiness.  For dinner service there were celebs in the kitchen.  At least in the blue kitchen.  Who the heck were those people in the red VIP seats?  Just because they were one time contestants on another Fox reality show, doesn't mean they're stars or famous.  In the Blue VIP section was David Beckham and his son.  Of course Victoria wasn't there.  She doesn't eat real food.  The guys did so poorly that Ramsey took them in the back room to have a conference leaving Robyn to bang out the apps by herself.  It was hilarious w/ Chef Scott asking and demanding this and that and Robyn trying to keep up.  The women may have been too tired to fight and did a really good job of getting all the food out.  There was a note of pride in Ramsey's voice when he pointed out to the men the empty ticket rack on the women's side when they hadn't even gotten done w/ 1 main course.  So Ramsey brought the women over to help finish the service.  The men were split as to who to put up for the elimination and it came down to Robyn who didn't want to piss off the guys.  As it was, Clemenza and Royce were up.  Once again scallops were a problem for Clemenza and Royce couldn't seem to cook any meat correct.  Royce finally used up his chances and was sent home.  It was about time.

Sorry, but I passed on MasterChef to watch American Ninja Warrior.  I did hear through the grapevine that Tali was finally sent home.

I watched Craft Wars which is hosted by Tori Spelling.  They must've caught her between buns in the oven.  This show is a little like Cupcake Wars for crafters but it's a little ludicrous.  They have 3 different people every episode.  They have an hour challenge and then after booting 1 person, they have a decorating kind of task w/ extra helpers and 5 or 6 hours.  In this episode, they had the crafters make birdhouses using items from a junk drawer.  Ok.  When it came to the judging, that's when the show got stupid.  Really?  They wanted the birdhouses to be functional and long lasting?  The people had only an hour.  I don't care how small it is, a house made out of quality long lasting materials can't be made in an hour and look good.  Geez.  I think I would've used my birdhouse to hit the judges over the head.  Then the crafters had to use beachy stuff to make furniture and stuff to make a decorated beach area.  You really didn't see the crafters utilizing their extra help very well but it's hard because decorating and crafting is kind of a design as you go thing.  Tori seemed to just get in the way of the crafters.  The judging criteria was confusing and the end products weren't that impressive.  Really, that chaise lounge made out of boogie boards didn't look comfortable at all.  I wasn't surprised that the guy won cuz he used major construction tools like welding and power saws so his stuff was bigger and well made.  Whatever.  It was a boring show.

Around the World in 80 Plates went to Argentina.  Avery paired up w/ Nookie cuz she was tired of losing the run around challenges, which left John and Liz as a team.  First they had to make 80 empanadas and then they had to sell 150 pesos worth.  I'm not sure what was going on but it took Liz and John forever to make the empanadas.  Maybe because John was standing around like a wooden indian statue.  He blamed Liz for burning the first batch of empanadas but she was busy mixing and cooking the filling and rolling and cutting the pastry.  Hey John, where were you?  You couldn't tell from the smell that the stuff in the oven was done?  I think I would've punched him in his big nose if I were Liz.  Finally the teams hit the streets to sell the meat pockets w/ Liz and John way behind.  Liz and John started selling 2 for 5 pesos and began to catch up.  Nookie finally got wise and sold the last of his team's empanadas to a vendor for a low price.  That was a good deal for the vendor.  So the Nook Man and Avery win and got the exceptional ingredient which turned out to be lessons on how to cook the native dishes.  John commented on how great he thought that was which was odd since he got that kind of exceptional ingredient before and never used it.  Whatever.  Was he tired or just stupid?  So all the contestants then went to a restaurant and sampled the local dishes.  John failed to notice everything had meat in it and decided to cook a no meat dish for the final challenge.  Avery did the offical BBQ of the goat, Nookie did the skirt steak w/ chimichurri and Liz did empanadas.  I couldn't believe Nookie cut his steak into strips instead of slanted against the grain.  Yeesh.  John made the comment, "I knew Argentinians ate meat but I didn't realize that's all they eat."  Yep, landlocked people tend to do that.  Liz made innovative empanadas that impressed the locals so much, they were asking for the recipe.  Of course the producers tried to throw off the viewers w/ the interviewing of the locals but in the end, Liz was named MVC.  Hee hee!  It was great cuz the triumvirate had to eat one of their own.  In the end Avery saved her BFF Nookie and John's trip ended.  By John!  Use the money you've earned for a nose job.  It'll help your cooking cuz you'll be able to smell when something's done in the oven.  Next week is the finale and I can't wait.  Go Liz!

ABC Family channel has a new show Baby Daddy.  Yep, a baby is left w/ 3 bachelors.  There's a girl who drops by and has a crush on the main guy and the main guy's mother drops in to criticize or give advice.  Wow!  How long ago was 3 Men and a Baby?  The energy is high and some of the scenes are funny but it all seems really re-hashed and unoriginal.  Finally, they did have an episode w/ the funniest part not being about the baby at all.  I knew it was going to happen.  I hate to say it but Taj Mowry and Melissa Peterman seem to hold up the whole show cuz when they're not in the scene, we're tuning out.  Also, the baby is boring and we're sick to death of poopy diaper and spitting up jokes.  Ick!

ID channel has brought out a whole lotta new shows but there's something wrong.  They're all about stuff we've already seen on other shows for the past 2 years.  Really?  There's no new crimes?  Hey writers, start doing your research cuz the news is full of new crimes all of the time.  I miss Law & Order.  Not only were their stories ripped from the headlines but they were ripped from recent headlines.

The Closer is back and many people missed it because the time was changed.  Brenda has such an unhealthy fixation on that lawyer who she thinks is a rapist that she can't seem to focus on the discussions at hand.  It's very weird and not like her very intelligent character.  We also missed her chocolate fixation.  I hope they bring back her parents for at least 1 episode before the series ends.  I know they're planning a spin-off but if Brenda's not in it, I doubt her parents will be showing up.  They mentioned Pope but didn't show him.  Was he off doing his insurance commercials?  Oh well, here's hoping the last 5 episodes are really memorable.

Well, that's about it.  Remember, Dallas and Drop Dead Diva are totally worth watching. See ya next time and until then, stay tuned.

Things Go Awry. What Else Is New?

Ok, I admit, this post is a little late but it's because my TiVo was misbehaving last week.  It thought it was in Alaska and froze every 3 hours.  Therefore, some of my shows didn't record and I had to wait to watch them online.  Some shows don't officially unlock for viewing until a whole week later.  So there you have my official excuse and I hope it's adequate.  So let's get on w/ it.  I hope my human memory holds up.

On Food Network Star, the contestants got to make on camera presentations but in Miami at the beach.  Now I'm not going to say this show is getting mundane, but...it is.  I think they've run out of ideas and are just having one challenge per show.  The challenges are getting redundant too.  Anyway, everybody did well w/ their food but Emily decided to just talk about her dish.  Well Susie and her co-hort like to hear about peoples' lives.  I'd like to tell them, some of us don't really care about hearing about the chef's lives all of the time.  When they have time to spare and are just standing and stirring, go ahead and blab about your life.  When you only have a minute or 2, tell us what you're cooking or what you've made.  Well, to sum it up, Emily landed in the bottom w/ I can't remember who.  They did their on-camera challenge and Emily was sent home.  Shucks.  I really liked Emily and thought her POV was really cool.  Bye Emily.  I'll miss your revved up old school dishes and your horn rimmed glasses.  Don't ride backwards in any buses.

America's Got Talent was in Vegas.  They had the job of watching the huge pool of acts and whittling them down to a medium sized pool.  All I can say is, the one shot wonder acts were just that.  When there's only one thing about it like getting kicked in the nuts, the 2nd time is just really boring.  People had trouble being original the 2nd time around, some of the comedians didn't work on their acts, some of the magic acts proved they did their biggest thing the first time around and some acts proved that w/out great music and lights and effects that the show provided the first time, they were really dull.  All I can say is, really?  You had time between the auditions and Vegas and you didn't work on making your act better?  You don't deserve a show because it's work that earns the bucks in any job.  I was proud of the judges for not caving into pathetic stories and peoples' situations and just judging on the acts.  I liked their choices.  On to New York.


Love In the Wild wasn't too exciting.  The show started out w/ the couples in their overnight digs.  It was funny to see the wonder couple not having a great time in the lean-to under the mosquito netting.  Roughing it isn't that romantic.  The guy tried to get cozy and the girl wasn't into it.  The next morning, the couples find they first have to put together a wheelbarrow or not to transport a certain number of coconuts and then swim to find a map, then cross a chasm on a rope and then cut down bananas or something like that.  Good grief.  I loved the couples who didn't think they had to put the wheelbarrow together.  I guess they found the value of the wheel.  So the wonder couple came in first again.  This time they had their choosing ceremony before the overnight.   One couple liked each other and hinted to people not to break them up.  As it was, the first girl decided to switch her man and picked the Aussie guy.  The first guy was surprised and felt sorry for the Aussie's partner and chose her.  So all the other couples stayed the same and the couple who came in last went home.  Oh...so it is bad to come in last during the tasks.  Yeah, this show's kind of boring and I may have mixed up some stuff but it was all kind of crap anyway.

I watched The Glass House and I'm not impressed.  There's a twist w/ the audience choosing who returns to the house from limbo.  There's a lot of talking amongst the contestants which is actually a lot of bullshit and the audience knows it.  Were we impressed by the girl bawling over her lost love?  Not really because we didn't believe it.  The problem w/ reality stars is, they're horrible actors.  It's no wonder another lady tried to jump in w/ her own sob story.  Ick!  So after a lot of blah blah blah in various rooms and corners w/ various mixes of the contestants, they have a stupid challenge of what looks like college frat stunts.  The leader of the losing group goes to limbo and the rest of the contestants vote secretly in a room to see who'll be the other person sent to limbo.  At this point, we want everyone to go to limbo.  Also, we don't care who goes and who stays and I'm not watching this show again.  The people are gross and need showers.  Is the bathroom glass too?  Everybody is fake and untrustworthy.  They did a poor job of casting for this show and it shows.  People aren't interested in watching.

Around the World in 80 Plates went to Hong Kong.  The chefs had to make their way to a temple.  Avery chose to join the girl's team and the the 2 teams had to get to the top of the temple to find their next clue.  Nookie is totally hilarious and commented that old people were passing him up.  I thought he was going to pass out before he got halfway up all those stairs.  Then they had to find a market where one person had to bind up crabs.  Nookie and John were lucky to find helpful locals to find the places they needed to go.  Nookie and Nicole were the official crab binders and w/ a lot of yelping and cursing, Nookie finished first.  Meanwhile, the girls were miffed Nicole couldn't do the task faster.  Then the teams had to go to a place and make dim sum.  I'm not sure why, but Nicole thought she had to do all the tasks.  Maybe because she's Asian.  When the elimination is all about who likes you, don't piss people off by shoving your way into a task and then not doing it well.  So the team of John and Nookie win the exceptional ingredient.  The chefs are told to make an innovative dish for dinner service.  They get to see innovative food in Hong Kong by eating food by the Demon Chef.  Oy!  Where did they find this guy?  He's that arrogant ugly bully in grade school who you know you're going to hit in the back of the head when he's not looking.  He actually made a dish that looked like a used condom.  Gross me out!  Yeah, that fit coming from him.  Total dickdom.  The grossioso chinese chef got flirty w/ Avery and it made everyone's skin crawl, including her's.  He also served a dish in a dogfood can.  At least I think it was a dish put in a dogfood can.  Good thing it wasn't Korea, cuz the dish would've had real dog in it. The next day John and Nookie get their exceptional ingredient which is a soux chef and extra time in the kitchen.  John decides he doesn't need a soux chef.  All I can say is, all the food looked subpar and uninteresting.  John learned not to serve snow on a hot plate.  Anyway, in the end Avery won MVC w/ her cool dessert that really wasn't Chinese.  Nicole was sent home by the majority vote and really took it well.  I think she was totally over the whole thing.  Next stop is Argentina.  Oh boy!

Retired at 35 is back.  Marisa Jaret Winokur has joined the cast and it has even better energy.  She's hilarious and the pace has picked up w/ the lines zinging around like bullets.  I love it.  I also love that they show the father's ignorance of the new technology.  Why?  Because us middle age  and older people can relate and it's funny.  I'm glad they dropped the girlfriend and kept the buddy.  The show is even more fun to watch.  The Exes is also back.  It's not as good.  The writers seem to be college freshmen w/ their minds in the gutter all of the time.  Really?  They had to have a whole episode about the size of a guy's penis?  Totally juvenile and it got old and tiring halfway through the show.  Also, if TV Land was counting on family viewing, that wasn't it.  The new show Soulman; I'm not loving it.  I hate to say it but it's kind of boring and Niecy Nash isn't proving to be a good actress at all.  She's kind of her annoying self from Clean House.  Cedric the Entertainer isn't believable as a minister and instead has a bit of sleezeball vibe and his smile isn't genuine.  The daughter is annoying and the rest is boring.  The only bit of brightness in this dreary crap is the minister's father.  Yeah, I'm not watching this either and also, it's not family viewing w/ it's stupid double entendres. 

Well, that's it for this week.  Hopefully I'll catch up and post in a timely fashion next week.  Until then, stay tuned.