Sunday, September 30, 2012

It's Fall, Not a Fail

Autumn is here and so are the new seasons of our favorite and familiar shows.  Of course we go through the cycles of finales and premiers but it's all a part of the TV show life.  It makes it all so exciting. 

The Great Food Truck Race took it's 3 teams to Cleveland.  The truck stop challenge really made no sense and the producers really scrambled to try to use the sponsor (a certain restaurant chain), a seasonal item (beefsteak tomatoes) and the locale all at once.  To boil it down, the teams had to come up w/ a good dish using a huge tomatoe.  Note to the Jersey girls, green tomatoes are best if you're going to deep fry them.  The Pop-a Waffle guys made bruschetta and won.  Well duh.  How come nobody made salsa or pasta w/ marinara?  Don't overthink.  You don't have time for it.  This time, the prize was money for the till but not as much.  The Waffle guys also got 3 more hours to be open for business.  So of course everybody parked, cooked and sold.  You can tell the teams have learned a lot about utilizing their time and resources.  I'm sure they're sending one of their members out to buy new groceries every now and then, but you don't see it.  I also noticed the other trucks take cues off of the Seoul Sausage truck.  I'd like to ask the Koreans where's  the sausage?  I've seen a lot of fried rice balls but not much of the one food that's in the name of your truck.  Whatever.  Anyway, kudos to the Koreans for carving their own path in the race.  So, the speedbump consisted of making the trucks move in the middle of service.  Oh well.  Toward mid afternoon, business always dies down a little.  The Pop a Waffle truck got nervous about it and decided to go chase a better rainbow.  It was a crucial mistake because they ended up stuck in traffic when dinner time rolled around.  Where the heck were they going?  The thing to remember is, when you're rolling, you can't sell any food cuz it's hard for people to throw the money to you.  In the end, even though they won the extra money, Pop a Waffle made the least money and was eliminated.  Next week will be the finale w/ Nonna's Kitchenette against Seoul Sausage.  May the best food truck win!

Face Off never ceases to impress me.  They had a spotlight challenge w/ just overly dramatic makeup.  The men all commented about how they weren't good at it.  I had forgotten that makeup artists do have to do regular beauty makeup for people too.  A good example is Star Trek.  Yes, they made a lot of interesting aliens but the humans were done well too. You could tell cuz they'd take people who weren't all that good looking w/out makeup and they'd be really good looking on the show.  I was disappointed that they didn't show any footage of Roy doing his makeup because it was awesome and he won.  What did he win?  He won what every contestant wants:  immunity.  For the big challenge, the artists had to make a look for a character in the video game Dishonored.  This was the first time I'd heard of steampunk.  It's edgy old fashioned style.  The artists got to choose which type of character they wanted to do and then they did amazing work.  I was impressed by how some made black guys into white guys, women into men, skinny guys into meaty guys and...well, just Wow!  I was wondering if they really had to make the clothes.  Rod had a model who was so good looking I could hardly take it.  Tommy left 2 hours worth of work for his last looks time which was only 1 hour.  It's not good when the judges say, "Oy vey!"  About your work.  Derek made Rod's usual face for his character.  Roy's look was amazing as usual.  I have to say, I couldn't judge the looks if my life depended on it.  They all looked crazy good to me.  In the end, Derek won and Tommy was sent home.  A lot of times in these games, it's all about time management and luck.  Bye Tommy.  You proved you weren't such a douchebag after all.  You had a douchebaggy teammate in that first challenge.

Hot Set had the production designers design a throne room set for an evil queen.  The show looked a lot like last week's w/ the same work going on.  Yawn.  The producers tried to make drama by showing one sent looking quite bare on the 2nd day but the team was working like the Amish.  They built the walls and stuff apart then put it all together in one blow.  Poof!  Done!  One set looked aquatic and the other looked mechanically Star Warsy.  Both sets lacked a throne.  The set that seemed more bare won.  Okay...whatever.  I sense more boredom to come.

Ok, I'm sorry I said one team on Survivor was green but it's actually blue.  Whatever.  I should just rename them the loser team.  Well, anyway they showed what the Philippines have a lot of:  rain.  Here's a good piece of advice.  Moving around helps you stay warm when it's cold.  Unfortunately, the Survivor contestants are all pretty stupid and can't seem to hunt and gather to keep their nutrition up, so they weakly sat around and shivered and whined like pitiful chihuahuas.  The buxom blonde on the blue team cuddled up w/ the young guy and had the rest of the tribe speculating that they were the next Amber and Rob.  The black seminary girl pointed and complained to everyone about it.  She was like a lot of christians; judgemental w/ an acid personality.  She also sat around a lot and prayed out loud.  Ugh.  I hate that.  No wonder primitive people kill the missionaries.  For once, dumbass Russell was laying low and just let her vent to him.  On the yellow tribe, the people sat around complaining about the cold and rain.  Guess what the red team was doing.  Yep, same thing but in a cave away from camp.  It allowed Jonathan to scramble around to look for the HII (hidden immunity idol).  When he finally found it, he danced around and shouted.  You would think the tribe would've realized he found it since there's not much else going on in the camps.  Man, these people are stupid.  Once again, the producers had the luxury challenge and the immunity challenge all rolled into one.  Really?  Some dumbass must've told them, "We wanna see more whining and less action."  Who was that person?  I want to poke their eyes out.  So the challenge was actually 2 rolled into one w/ half of it physical and the other half mental.  The teams had to first drag a sled and gather puzzle pieces and then of course, put the puzzle together.  No food in this win so the goal was just to not come in last.  The blue team proved they're short on both fronts and headed to tribal council for the 2nd time.  Back at blue camp, there was no looking for the HII and there was no real strategizing.  Instead, there was a lot of fingerpointing and excuses.  At tribal council, everyone was so tired Jeff had to drag people out of their shells.  We basically heard the same stuff that they said at camp.  It looked like the vote would be close but it turned out not to be.  Everyone was annoyed by the lazy loudmouthed seminary girl and they gave her the boot.  Bye.  Go off and tell everyone what a blessing from god that was.

Top Chef Masters had it's finale w/ Chris Cosentino and Kerry Heffernan as the final 2.  Doesn't Kerry have the same name as the wife on King of Queens?  I digress.  As usual, the chefs had to make a whole dinner w/ courses.  This time it was linked w/ letters:  love letter, apology letter, thank you and letter to self.  Here's the key.  Just make great dishes and good stories to link them to the stupid letters like, I made a pile of crap to apologize to my wife for not walking the dog.  You get the idea.  W/ the help of their own soux chefs, Kerry made classic and clean looking dishes and Chris went w/ his usual offal offerings.  The real difference was, Kerry had to adjust his dishes when he only shopped at one place and they didn't have everything he really wanted.  Chris was able to make exactly what he wanted and one thing was blood sausage.  Ick.  The judges table consisted of the snootiest food critics they could find.  The pickiest one was really fat so I'm guessing he must really love deep fried butter.  Kerry presented and described his dishes like a maitre'd while Chris presented his dishes w/ so much heart, it made everybody choke up.  It worked cuz he won.  Yay!  He won good publicity for his restaurant and a lot of moolah for his charity.  WTG Chef Cosentino.  I thought you'd pull it off from the very beginning and everyone has forgiven you for yelling at Art.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons had a cool challenge.  Of course a lot of the show showed a lot of shenanigans in the house w/ fighting, drunkenness and hookups happening left and right.  What else is new?  For the challenge, they had a good old oil wrestling w/ people going 1 on 1.  I could tell from the changing daylight that it took a looong time to do all of the matches.  For each match, the winner got 1 of 4 pieces of the team's picture icon and got to choose the next matchup. The goal was to get the 4 pieces to finish the icon.  I loved the way the teams figured out how not to really have to play.  A lot of matches were obviously thrown but who can blame them?  I was surprised there weren't a lot of wardrobe malfunctions.  I was waiting for someone to pull down a guy's pants as they fell.  Those editors probably had a huge pile of footage on the editing floor ha ha ha.  The alliances were shown and held up w/ the danglers on the bottom.  It was team Austin losing in the end which wasn't a surprise since half their team was eliminated last week.  They automatically went to the arena.  Another young team won the top spot and sent the fresh meat team, w/ fatty Eric on it, to the arena.  The game chosen was endurance.  Actually, I was disappointed to see the arena game didn't require that much endurance.  It consisted of 2 people from each team shoving balls on  ropes to the other team's side.  Whoever had the most balls on their side lost.  The taller people had the advantage cuz they really didn't have to move too much.  In the end, fatty Eric and ugly Camilla won for their team and the last of team Austin went home.  Bye!  I could tell they really didn't want to be in the game anyway.

Project Runway had the worst challenge ever.  Heidi took the opportunity to advertise her baby clothing line by making the designers make outfits for...wait for it...babies.  Ugh.   Dmitry cracked me up so much this week, my stomach still hurts from laughing.  The funniest thing is he says his hilarious comments w/ such a straight face:  "Heidi has like 105 kids.", "It's like making clothes for cats; literally."  Ok so the designers also got toddlers w/ their mothers as clients.  Poor Christopher got stuck w/ the head of lettuce who liked to throw around designer names.  The cloth and appliques were provided to fit into the already existing clothing line.  Heidi showed up in the workroom and literally told Christopher to drop his idea and make a dress w/ flowers all over it.  Christopher was no idiot, he took the idea and ran w/ it.  Once again, Melissa made her design way complicated.  Oh by the way, did I fail to mention the designers had to do their work w/ those annoying baby dolls they use to teach teens what it's like to be a parent?  I thought that was totally unfair cuz the designers were overly fatigued already.  I would've thrown the dumb doll into the refrigerator.  Then another twist; they had to make a companion look for the Mothers because god forbid the mothers go down the runway in their own clothes.  Luckily, they wouldn't really count.  You mean those stupid kids can't toddle down the runway by themselves?  Aww...why not?  So Mood did get it's promo spot.  I loved when Elena asked why Swatch couldn't be her baby.  No kidding.  The look on Swatch's face was, "No way!"  Okay, so back at Parsons, the producers had mercy and let Tim Gunn take the baby dolls away.  It was so nice of them to make the designers have to have them overnight.  That was just not right.  The designers did an amazing job of slap dashing outfits and dresses together for the mothers.  Christopher's toddler mother must've been told to stop being a diva cuz she was much more accepting and cooperative.  Runway time!  Fabio's little boy had a cute overall and cap thing. Dmitry's toddler was barefoot and in a red onesie hoodie that made him look like a teletubby crayon.  Melissa's had a white too tight dress w/ a vest that was totally not made for an active toddler.  Christopher had made the exact dress that Heidi told him to make w/ a jacket.  Elena made a cute outfit but didn't match the colors well at all.  Sonjia made the cutest grey pants outfit w/ black patches on the elbows and knees and a cute baby pullover top underneath.  People commented that the neckline was large.  Well yeah.  It has to go over that huge head.  In the end, there were 2 winners (for boy and girl) and it was Sonjia and Christopher.  Elena's luck finally ran out and she was sent to designer purgatory.  Bye Elena, you got eliminated when we started to like you.  Oh well.

America's Next Top Model seems to have less teaches than usual.  Okay, yes the audience has seen them all but these models need the teaches.  Oh well.  Instead, they're showing a lot of drama in the house.  Some of the girls are above that so it seems the less intelligent girls fight amongst themselves.  The photoshoot consisted of steampunk.  Wow!  This is the 2nd time in the week I've heard of this after never hearing of it before.  How old am I?  So this time, steampunk meant the girls wore edgy vintage looking clothes w/ edgy gothic type makeup in front of a steam engine and holding an owl.  The owl was the coolest participant and seemed to outpose a few of the models.  The blonde meangirl got freaked out by the owl; probably cuz the bird was way smarter then she was.  Yvonne was bored on set and made the mistake of showing it which made the Asian blogger guy blow up at her.  She apologized but he wouldn't let it go.  OMG!  Calm down.  It's not a real world photoshoot.  Unfortunately, most of the girls seemed to be blind to their outfits and surroundings and didn't give fierce attitude in their pictures like they should've.  They really need the teaches.  Mr. Jay was really good at pinpointing what the girl would be doing wrong or what she would be lacking.  This new guy doesn't have that so even though we're halfway through the group, they haven't improved in their pictures.  One girl literally looked like Hermione Granger waiting for the Hogwarts Express.  So the judging ensued and you can see a lot of bias w/ the judges at this point.  I like that the judges give a numerical judging because it makes the bias really blatant.  Anyway, it came down to the viewer votes and Yvonne was sent home.  Yeah, nobody likes a pre-model diva w/ an attitude like that and we could tell, she was over this competition anyway.  Bye!  Go and take a good nap.  You need it.

OMG, I was so happy w/ the premieres of The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother and Mike and Molly.  They were all exciting and hilarious.  Big Bang has Wolowitz in space but still being screamed at by his mother.  Hilarious!  The only thing was, his hair would've been fly-away in zero gravity which would've really been funny.  Think Wolowitz as Einstein.  Hee hee hee.  Modern family had everybody finding out about Gloria's pregnancy.  Phil said the best line, "Anyone could do it w/ Gloria."   No kidding.  I'm straight and I'd do her.  It was a great episode:  funny, warm, clever and also heartfelt.  I'm thinking they'll probably win an Emmy for it next year.  How I Met Your Mother had the new parents stupid and delirious from lack of sleep due to the new baby.  Thank you, producers, for not showing the baby.  I hate shows w/ babies.  It was funny but got a little annoying halfway through the show.  Mike and Molly were ending their honeymoon but the funniest part of the show was the drunken family taking advantage of their absence.  I find it weird that Mike and Molly are married now but still going to live in her mother's house.  Ew.  Why?  They both have good jobs.  2 Broke Girls was also back and actually kind of funny.  This time they focused on the rich girl's world which is much more fun and the guest star was Steven Webber.  He's funny but his lifted face is getting kind of creepy.  I hate when Survivor is on at the same time as The Middle cuz I always have to enjoy that show in re-runs.  Two and a Half Men actually just rehashed an old script from when Charlie was on it.  I'll bet Lorre thought nobody would notice.  Time to put that show to rest if they're going to do that.  I still say Kutcher's no Sheen.  I'm very disappointed by the dramatic offerings by the networks.  What's up w/ so many crime dramas?  W/ our society getting crazy by the economy and high stress from it, we don't need reminders of situations that could happen tomorrow.  We've realized the corruptness of law enforcement in real life so seeing them on TV is not appreciated.  Sometimes I wish the TV cops would get killed off.  It's time for heartwarming and cozy family dramas like The Waltons again.  We want to dream of happier times.

Okay, well I'm off my soapbox.  This week's going to be a little frustrating w/ even more political crap on tv including the debates.  I have a feeling my TiVo's going to go nuts.  Oh well.  Keep on watching people.  Until next time, stay tuned.



Sunday, September 23, 2012

Waking the Sleeping Giants

Hello everybody.  I'm loving the return of the oldies but goodies in the world of competition reality shows.  OMG, I'm just so excited.  The only thing that's bad is, they're all stacked in the beginning of the week.  Then there's absolutely nothing on Saturday.  Whatever. 

The Great Food Truck Race went to Nashville.  There was only 4 teams left.  The first challenge was to cook something southern.  The hilarious part was none of the teams were Southern food cooks at all.  The Koreans, Alaskans, Waffle guys and the Italian girls were all scratching their heads.  So they tried to come as close as possible and everyone ended up cooking fried chicken.  I fell on the floor laughing at that.  I think I heard a reference to a certain Southern Colonel's restaurant chain.  The Alaskan blondes pointed out they were the only team not to win a challenge and they didn't win this one either.  The Pop a Waffle guys won but not w/ chicken and waffles.  Once again, they got an item that was worth money in the till.  Really?  How original.  It was a guitar from an artist who Tyler had to convince the people, was famous.  Uh huh.  Anyway, the teams made their way into the town.  You would think that w/ only 4 trucks, they could find plenty of room away from each other but no and the Italian girls trying to fit into a crowded city area was a wreck; literally.  Finally!  An accident happened.  They totally crunched into a car and the girls were panicking and in tears.  Aw...  You can tell the remaining teams are really learning the business.  They got less money to start w/ and yet bought very wisely, when they sold out, they went and bought again and cooked again.  They left their trucks to call in people to eat.  Then Tyler called to tell them only the chef of the truck could be in the truck and he had to work w/ 2 cooking students.  It turned out to be a good thing.  It showed things really move along quickly when people know the basics about cooking.  It also pointed out that a lot of the people in the trucks didn't know the basics of cooking ha ha ha.  The students proved they were future chefs by trying to tweak the dishes but the truck chefs stood firm.  In the end Pop a Waffle won by making the most money but a lot of it was due to that challenge win.  The Alaskans finally used up all their luck and made the least money.  Bye!  Next time do Alaskan food and maybe people won't be so disappointed to find you've only made white trash food.

Face Off had a cool challenge.  The artists were put into teams of 2 and they were shown different kinds of vehicles.  I say vehicles because one was a motorcycle w/ a side car.   Their makeup to do was superhero w/ a sidekick inspired by their vehicle they chose.  I was hoping to see some really cool stuff.  There were big plans.  Roy was paired up w/ that weird pink face pierced girl, Alana.  Jason and Rod were a team.  Derek and Sarah were together and finally Laura and Tommy.  Roy had to do a lot of directing and instruction.  Yeah, it doesn't pay to have to much detail and take 2 days to make your mold.  At the same time, he got his look totally done and he made the coolest troll creature.  Rod was warned by V. Neil not to do the same face on his character that he kept doing.  It seemed Mussolini's fat head floated in front of his face whenever he created his characters.  Rod then really really tried to change the look of his character's face and somehow, still produced the same face.  Sarah and Derek had one disaster happen after another and ended up using Elmer's glue and putty to do their makeups.  The judges were not kind.  Laura proved she has more talent than Tommy.  Her character's look overshadowed his so much, his looked even crappier by comparison.  Jason made a body makeup and then put a suit on the guy.  Really?  BTW, I forgot to mention Kevin Smith was the guest judge and lent humor to the panel.  Derek made a mask w/ a mouth that didn't articulate and was slipping.  The judges hated it.  Once again, Roy made an amazing look and still didn't win.  Instead, Alana won and didn't give Roy the credit he should've had since he directed her how to make it.  I really wanted to smack her for that.   Jason was sent home for his poor choices but I think was offered a job by Kevin Smith.  Bye Jason, I still don't know who the heck you are, but you're cute.

Hot Set is a new show set up like Chopped.  2 production artists are given 2 days to make a set for a movie scene w/ their own teams.  The host is an actor I've seen in bit parts and the judges are people I'm not familiar w/ but I guess they know their stuff.  Okay, I gotta say, it sounded interesting but wasn't.  To begin w/ the show is what I call one shot to lose.  Each episode is independant w/ a winner declared each time.  the production designers are really unknown people and just seem like bossy people who don't do a lot of their own work.  I guess it's more like Iron Chef except the production designers are totally different each time.  So they got their scenario which was some astronaut landing on an alien world that wasn't so good.  A bad thing is, there are no live things on the set so there's not a lot of movement except for the astronaut.  The female PD was kind of weird and didn't use her team to their full potential.  I really think they need to do a sketch for the team to see but she just tried to describe the melee in her head and ran off to buy the big props.  Whatever.  The male PD had his team start the huge set background and did do a sketch to show the team what he had in mind.  That was smart except he didn't pull on the reigns and his team kind of got away from him and went off the reservation a little.  So big rocks, trees, skeletons, dead astronauts and broken equipment littered the sets but at the same time, they kind of looked the same.  The actor did exactly 1 minute on film that looked way too cheesy to even be a spoof of Star Trek.  The guy wanted his set to seem like a living being but it didn't.  The woman's set looked like a piece of Death Valley and not alien at all.  In the end, the woman won and I didn't understand at all.  Even worse, I didn't care.  I don't think this show is gonna fly like Face Off.  Nobody really likes to watch people be bossy and then get all the credit for the work.   I was just glad I wouldn't have to see those contestants again.

Survivor is back and in the Philipines.  The twist this season is 3 past contestants who were ejected by fate were brought back.  2 of them, we never really wanted to see again.  Jonathan was a douche and still is.  That black guy who kept passing out so much in his season they flew him off, and we weren't sorry to see him go was back.  The only guy I was always wondering why they never brought back was back; Michael Skupin, the Australian Outback contestant who fell in the fire and ran into the yucky water.  As usual, the group came in all together to do their 5 second intro of themselves.  They were split into 3 teams w/ stupid names.  So stupid that I'm gonna call them by their colors; green, yellow and red.  We saw Lisa Welchel is trying to do the reality show thing.  So the tribes found the boat they were on was full of useful items like live animals, food, pans, buckets, etc.  Jeff gave them 15 minutes to grab as much as they could before they had to jump off the boat.  As usual the tribes lost a lot of stuff when they tried to jump on the rafts they threw their stuff on.  Boy, I can tell they've got another season of idiots again.  They made their way to their camps and thank the gods, they weren't living together and there wasn't any 2nd chance island.  Yeesh.  Right away, black returning guy declared that he wasn't the leader but he proceeded to tell everyone what to do and how to do it.  A lot of eye rolling commenced behind his back and on this side of the TV screen.  I would've told him, if you're not the leader then shut yer yap.  His tribe is the green tribe and full of connivers.  Skupin is older and wiser. On his tribe, he got the TV star and he layed low but w/ a good work ethic.  His tribe is the yellow tribe.  Finally, the red tribe has Jonathan and he stood back and watched everybody like a vulture.  Nobody trusts him and he doesn't trust anybody.  The green tribe made fire first which was amazing.  Jonathan and the black returning guy found clues to the HII (hidden immunity idol).  There was only 1 challenge again and it entailed rowing, gathering, swimming and puzzle solving.  The black returning guy on the green team told everyone their roles even though they protested.  They didn't like it.  So off they went and in the end the red team won first, the yellow came in 2nd and the green team went to tribal council.  The green team had a retarded Forest Gumpy guy who told everyone he's ok going home but would like to stay too.  What a dumbass.  In this game, anyone who says they don't want to be there is quickly obliged.  It's an easy vote because nobody feels guilty doing it.  Tribal council gets dumber every season because the people know to keep their yaps shut except if they're especially stupid.  The black returning guy and Forest Gumpy were exceptionally stupid and talked nonsense.  At least the black guy admitted he was at fault for choosing the people to do stuff in the challenge.  Forest Gumpy was sent home and the black guy has a huge target on his back w/ the women grumbling at his bossiness.  BTW, the prizes for winning the challenge were fire making kit for 1st place and flint for 2nd place.  The losers got flint after Tribal council so BFD.  Hm...  I do like that they returned to the original format but I'm not sure about the 3 tribes and I really don't like Jonathan or that black returning guy.  But I'm intrigued and watching.

The Challenge is different w/ teams made of the seasons of The Real World.  That's pretty cool and they're calling it Battle of the Seasons.  I'm guessing they figured out that Road Rules hasn't been on for so long the people from that show are getting kind of old; and I mean age wise.  So they're in a place close to the Middle East which is kind of scary when you think how hedonistic these people can get.  Before they do the challenge part, they show a lot of household shenanigans and these young people are already swinging, fighting, shouting and getting drunk.  Right before the challenge, a new team is brought in and it consists of vets:  Fatty Eric or Big Easy, crying creepy Cara Mia, homely Camilla and well...I can't remember the guy but I know he's not been on a lot of seasons.  The team members have to climb rope ladders hanging over water to beams that they have to balance and cross.  When I say they have to balance, I mean it.  If one team member moves forward faster than the other at the other end, the beam will tilt.  OMG, good thing these people are pretty young.  A couple fall and smack the water hard.  Fatty Eric's team DQ's cuz he can't climb the the ladder.  I wasn't at all surprised to find Alton and Trishelle's team was the fastest cuz he's practically superhuman and none of the other teams has a ringer like him.  So the loser loser team automatically has to do the elimination challenge and the winner team gets to choose who competes against them.  Alton's team (Las Vegas seasons) chooses Wes's team.  Wes has matured but he's still hated by everybody.  The thing is, even though he isn't aggressive, he still baits people into trying to fight him.  Ok, so this year there are categories to the elimination challenges:  physical, mental, endurance and speed or something like that.  Alton picks physical to give Fatty Eric's team a chance.  The contest has a person at each end of a tunnel running at each other to get to the bell at the other end.  Only 1 girl and 1 guy from each team have to compete.  Cara Mia does a really good job but has speed and agility on her side against that schlubby girl from Wes's team.  Cara Mia wins.  Wes looks like one of those football dummies on the sleds but there's nowhere to go cuz Fatty Eric takes up the whole tunnel.  Poor Wes loses and has a quick end to this season.  I have a feeling Alton will win this season.  Then TJ tells them they can't use that elimination challenge category until the others have been used. Oh boy!  The next weeks should be really interesting.  I can't wait.  Bye Wes and schlubby girl.

Top Chef Masters was down to 3 chefs:  Chris, Kerry and Lorena.  The quickfire had the chefs trying to direct an unknown person on the other side of a barrier.  They all must've seen the previous season and no one screamed at their partner.  As it was, the unknown people were the show's judges.  What was Lorena thinking?  She didn't even start her pasta until 5 minutes until time was up.  Really?  So she tried to make a dish w/ the sauce.  Uh huh.  Chris was paired w/ Oseland and it was hilarious and cute.  They made a prawn dish.  I think it was prawns.  If it was shrimp, those shrimp were monsters.  Anyway, the best part was when their dish was tasted and Curtis declared Oseland's dish a little better and he said, "Shut the F___ up."  Which made Chris collapse in laughter.  Also, their dishes looked very similar.  Kerry and Ruth were paired up and she put a big pile of the chicken on the plate but Curtis said they both tasted similar and very good.  Finally the Asian skinny guy Lam and Lorena were up and actually Lam's dish looked better but Lorena said her dish was what was intended.  Really?  You wanted your dish to look like day old vomit?  Curtis said they were good but needed the pasta.  Kerry was declared the winner which surprised me but ok.  For the elimination challenge, the chefs had 2 cooking school students to make a dish worthy of being served in their restaurants.  They couldn't do any of the cooking at all.  The funny thing was when the students presented dishes to the chefs.  Chris's kids made pork which was right up his alley but they put boring stuff w/ their pork that made the dish look like something a midwestern housewife would serve up for supper.  Kerry's kids made a weird chicken roulade thing w/ string cheese and spinach which they called Florentine.  Yeah, it wasn't.  Kerry's look on his face when he tasted it was hilarious.  You could tell he wanted to spit it out but didn't want to hurt their feelings.  When he swallowed it was just like Lucy's Vitameatavegamin commercial.  OMG, I couldn't stop laughing.  Lorena's kids made lasagna which didn't look too bad.  I loved the way Lorena said lasagna w/ her Venezuelan accent.  The chefs proceeded to find out about their young cooks and then give them lessons on food pairings, shopping, ingredients and prepping.  They made their dishes.  Chris underestimated the efficiency of his cooks and they plated too soon.  Kerry's cooks did a really good job of producing exactly what he wanted.  Lorena decided to serve the lasagna and salad family style which didn't go over too well w/ the judges.  Yeah, you don't see fine dining being served family style.  For all the people who do like family style, don't ever eat w/ me cuz most likely, you'll be having your kids at the table and I hate that.  Anyhoo, the judges had a bit of fighting but in the end Kerry won and Lorena was sent packing.  Aw...bye Lorena.  Say hi to Art for me.  Next week; the finale woo hoo!

Project Runway always has at least 1 tacky costume challenge and this week was it.  The designers had to make a costume for the Rockettes.  Okay so maybe it wasn't soooo tacky.  The designers bemoaned the fact that they had very little money for expensive stuff like beads, crystals and sequinned material.  They frantically ran around so much at Mood, Swatch stayed in hiding.  Back at Parsons, Sonjia proceeded to use feathers to make a skirt.  Cute but not functional for the Rockettes at all.  Dmitry made the funniest chicken comment.  I love Dmitry.  LOL!!!  Fabio made some metallic body suit thing in a hideous bronze and silver color.  Ven made a boring grey shiny netting costume w/ a figure skating skirt.  Elena made a bright blue gaudy majorette costume.  Christopher made an interesting costume with the chest and abdomen covered by the New York skyline but in white.  Melissa made a weird square collared hotpink thing which she tried to cleverly colorblock w/ black sequins but it turned into a big 1 on the chest.  Finally, Dmitry made a gorgeous navy blue geometric design costume w/ a fringe skirt.  It was cute, classy, sexy, chic and very dancy. Tim Gunn must've had a serious talk w/ the producers after seeing the designers' work and hearing them say, "I wanted to buy this and that but didn't have enough money."  The designers were given more money and a 2nd short trip to Mood.  Ven and Fabio turned it down.  Dmitry was totally robbed cuz Christopher was declared the winner.  Really?  When the Rockettes wear his costume, I don't think the people in the balcony or back rows will even be able to see the neat design because of the white but oh well.  Finally, Ven was told his costume was ugly and was sent home.  Yay!  Bye Ven, work on being less of a total douchebag.

America's Next Top Model showed a lot of arguing, bickering and talking behind people's backs.  They had a runway challenge.  I have to say, these long legged girls can really look gawky and awkward.  There was something about Alicia Keys and of course one girl just had to sing in front of her.  Yeah, people really shouldn't do that cuz music stars have big egos and really don't want to hear them.  So the winner of the Runway show was the tall athletic black girl who seems fun.  For the photoshoot, the girls wore cheerleader outfits and had to pose as they were thrown into the air by guys.  Fun!  These girls are tall and skinny.  All of us were afraid they were going to break something.  As it was, the landings did produce a couple of injuries to the guys and the girls.  The funniest thing was, the girl who actually was a cheerleader had the stiffest looking picture.  At judging, it was interesting to note that Tyra was looking for the girls to look like models and the rest of the judges were looking for the girls to look like cheerleaders. Tyra won out cuz the girl who got the best picture of the week had a more modely looking picture and the gap toothed girl was sent home.  Bye!

Speaking of cheerleaders, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders:  Making the Team was in it's 2nd week of bootcamp.  The girls were deemed the best group of hopefuls ever by Kelly.  That was impressive.  So because of that, Kelly and Judy were really nitpicky.  They did dancing in the studio then broke up into 4 teams w/ Judy's daughter heading one of them.  That wasn't a surprise.  There was no sign of her bum knee either.  There was a part of the show they showed a group of vets having fun w/ the Olympic shooting team w/ a skeet shooting contest.  You can tell this year's crop of hopefuls are very dedicated because they looked like they practiced a lot.  There was also basic costume fitting which was interesting.  Man are those costumes skimpy on the bottom.  It's hilarious that the most coverage is the sleeves.  The girls also had to do the kick line and for some odd reason, they didn't seem like they practiced that.  That's a signature thing for the DCC so you'd think the girls would really practice that.  Anyway, finally at the end of the show, the girl who showed least improvement and the girl who blew out her knee were cut.  Bye!  See ya next year at auditions again.

Well, that's about it.  You can tell the new seasons of the shows are coming next week because the re-runs showed the season finales from the last season.  Ooh ooh, I can't wait.  I've missed the shows.  So until next time people, stay tuned.






Sunday, September 16, 2012

Cooking, Racing and More

Hello TV fans.  I know the summer has been mostly full of re-runs but there is fun stuff.  Let me get to it.

I'm sorry to say, I haven't kept up w/ America's Got Talent because, well, I'm kind of tired of talent shows.  A singer usually wins anyway.  Except for Terry Fator, I haven't seen any winners in Vegas.

I'd like to apologize to Pop-A-Waffle on the Great Food Truck Race.  I said last week they went and it wasn't them.  I was totally wrong.  It was the Pizza Mike's truck.  Okay so this week the trucks went to Fayetteville, Arkansas.  The first challenge was a huge commercial for a certain breakfast toaster pastry.  The teams had to make a dish w/ them to be judged by a college student.  It was interesting w/ the Koreans really scratching their heads wondering what to make.  The Jersey girls of Nonna's Kitchenette used the pastry's as the coating for french toast and won the prize which was a huge scary mounted ugly razorback pig head.  But it was worth money in the till so they were happy to receive it.  Then the trucks had to just sell.  The Alaskans proved they left their brains in the last city cuz they planned on serving tacos and failed to buy tortillas.  If they actually made their own tortillas, they'd make a lot more money and sell more too.  Then when they went to park, they opened their awning and then backed up knocking over a streetlight w/ the awning.  OMG, these ladies are sooo blonde. So blah blah blah, sell, cook, sell, listen to redneck accents in the end, the Jersey girls won by making the most money and the southern black people went home.  Bye!

Hell's Kitchen had it's finale.  It was between Christina and Justin.  Poor Justin, he had the laziest piece of ugly fat on his team called Clemenza.  Not only that, Clemenza has some kind of ego and even menu planning was a hassle.  Personally, I'd have punched him in the face and used the rest of the team to help me throw his fat ass out on the street.  Justin's a lot nicer than I am.  Anyway, after the planning, it was time to cook for the customers.  Christina had to deal w/ Robin messing up and then blaming it on others.  Dana suddenly thought she had the say in the kitchen and would argue about the quality of the food contradicting Christina's critique of the food.  Christina did a good job of not letting her chefs roll over her.  Meanwhile, Justin seemed a little timid.  Clemenza was shoveling out his usual sloppy cooking and Ramsay had to encourage Justin to get some balls and tell Clemenza he was sucking big time.  You could see how much Ramsay wanted to kick Clemenza's ass.  Barbie was having a bad night on the meat station that she is usually very good on but those ribeyes must've been cut thinner than usual.  Of course Brian was there to lighten the load and the mood.  Sooo...everyone did get fed and the usual behind the door thing happened.  Christina stepped through the winner's door.  Congrats girl!  She really deserved it.

MasterChef had it's finale too and it was between blind Christine and big nostrils Josh.  They just had to cook their own 3 course dinner for the judges while the ousted cooks watched.  It was as exciting to watch as fat ladies at water aerobics.  Josh made a southern style dinner but tried to make it look fancy.  Christine made Asian food.  As usual, the judges tasted and raved and dissed this and that blah blah blah and in the end, Christine won.  Yay!  I think it's amazing she made it through the competition w/ only cutting herself once.  I'm just glad we don't have to look up Josh's huge nostrils during any future promotionals.  Is it just me or does this show get more boring every year?  I think it's because the cooking challenges are the same every year.

Face Off had a cool challenge.  The artists had to take an Alice in Wonderland character and make them zombie.  Or make them look like they were in the movie that had that flesh eating virus.  I am always amazed by the work done.  They even made body prosthetics and props.  Then they have to make a costume too.  Those designers on Project Runway should really shut up.  The one thing I notice is, the artists are very self aware and critical of themselves.  One girl just had a really bad day.  I always say, you need some luck in these competition shows.  Because molds and prosthetics have to have time to dry, timing is really critical so if an artist falls behind, they really feel it.  Anyway, all the looks were really cool but the one older guy w/ the hat seemed to not make his look gory enough.  One look had it's character w/ a mouth that didn't open and shut.  The judges really hate that.  I liked the queen that was modeled by a guy.  Also, the models this season are really good at working w/ the makeup and putting some life into it.  Unfortunately, the girl that had the bad day; well, her day got worse cuz she was given the boot.  Finally, Roy won.  He always makes a whole body makeup prosthetic thing and was ending up the runner up every time.  This time, he got his kudos.  Yay!

Top Chef Masters was down to 4: Chris, Patricia, Kerry and Lorena.  The quickfire entailed a different cooking challenge.  They split the kitchen into 2 sides.  One side had the stoves, ovens and prep table and the other had the pantry, small equipment and refrigerators.  The chefs were doubled up into 2 teams w/ Chris and Patricia together and Lorena and Kerry together.  The catch was, the chefs had to stay on their own side of the kitchen and make their own dishes while depending on the other chef to cook for them or get stuff for them as the case may be.  Chris and Patricia worked very well together.  Poor Lorena.  Kerry has proven to be a selfish chef thinking only of doing his own dish well w/ no regard to anyone else's.  He also swamped Patricia's boat during that Thai restaurant challenge.  If Lorena would've had a better memory, she would've made a  ceviche and not had Kerry cook anything for her but nope and Kerry literally put her food on the back burner and didn't get it done.  This time he didn't look sorry about it.  The funniest part was, the win didn't depend on both dishes and since Kerry's dish was judged best, the team won.  Okay, so they won moolah for their charities.  For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to make a 3 item picnic basket family style thing for dinner en blanc which is some French thing w/ people coming together for free food.  Sounds like a church potluck dinner but it's made fancy w/ people all dressed in white and drinking wine.  Whatever.  It's still a bunch of moochers and French food is basically a small pile of crap covered w/ a fancy sauce.  The food all had to be served cold because it was cooked the night before and then packed up.  Chris made a terrine w/ his usual animal innerds and some marinated mushroom thing.  Patricia tried to impress people w/ her world travel tales and made a 3 dish travel of Marco Polo.  The 3 dishes didn't seem to hang together and maybe they should've played that Marco Polo game.  Marco!  Polo!  Also, one of her dishes she wished had been served warm.  Ew...  Kerry tried to impress a table of people by speaking French and was met w/ totally blank looks.  I LOL at that.  He made a cold soup and something else but he was smart cuz he also passed around baguettes.  Lorena couldn't let go her Latin cooking and made a sweet chicken salad and a chocolate chile mousse.  Unfortunately, her mousse deflated overnight but it must've tasted amazing cuz a few ladies had their faces stuck in the container.  In the end, the judges raved and raved over Kerry's food and Chris won.  Huh?  He aced it w/ his terrine.  Then the judges totally dissed Lorena's food and Patricia was sent home.  Huh?  It must've been opposite day.  Anyway, Patricia wasn't that upset to be sent home.  I think she was just so darn tired and worn out.  Bye Patricia!  Get a good sleep.

Project Runway had it's make your own patterned material challenge.  I still miss the models being chosen but they don't even tell their names so they must not matter anymore and nobody gets to dump their model if she's terrible.  I have to say, some have some really crappy walks.  Sooo...the show brought in significant others or some family member to give history and inspiration to the designers.  OMG, I hate when they bring in the "loved ones" cuz it usually means a lot of tears and hugging which eats up the time.  Ven's material was white w/ big pink hibiscus flowers on it but the flowers looked really gradeschool drawn.  Gunnar's depicted his escape from a life of harsh bullying w/ skeletal hands w/ a hazy dove flying between them.  Unfortunately, the print was too small and hazy and from afar, it looked like pencil smudges and houndstoothy.  Dimtry had a cool print but it was a little loud.  He was very smart to use a little of it in his dress and as usual, he made a really cool and well fitted dress but w/ a jacket this time.  Melissa's print was some red flowery thing.  Fabio's was boring cuz I didn't remember it. Sonjia's wasn't that interesting either.  Elena's was blue and yellow depicting the Ukrainian flag colors and...well who cares?  For once, the judges hated Ven's dress.  What's w/ him and flowers?  He must've been an old lady in his past life.  Elena let go her big shoulder thing and actually made something kind of cute.  Finally!  Dimtry won.  Yay!  Poor Gunnar.  I didn't think his dress was bad but the judges did and he was sent home.  Awww...bye Gunnar.  You know you're a nicer guy than the show showed.  I like ya.

America's Next Top Model continues to be boring.  The girls aren't liking socially awkward Victoria but she is really strange.  She really needs to shut up about her mother all of the time.  So this time the girls had to do some outlandish character acting while walking down Hollywood Blvd or something.  They had Tyler Perry and Tyra feeding them lines.  The whole thing was really dumb but showed who would give it their all for the prize.  The tall black pretty diva who portrayed a diva won.  Ooh, big surprise.  For the prize, she got a walk on role in Perry's next movie.  BFD.  The girls were excited but walk on means just that.  She'll be practically unrecognizable and in the background for 1 second.  For the photoshoot, the girls were zombies.  Weird.  The whole house was offended by that white blonde diva who liked to pick fights.  She had a bad shoot because she didn't take any advice.  The shoot director isn't as aggressive as Mr. Jay so the girls kind of disregard him.  I've found the shoots very weak this season.  Sooo...as usual, one girl won and Destiny (short haired black girl) found her destiny wasn't to be the next top model and was sent home.  Bye!  Now you can smack that white girl cuz you're off the show anyway.

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders:  Making the Team had it's very first show of the season.  I love this.  They did a good job of showing the really crappy dancers, the fat girls who were delusional, and the clumsy girls who we loved to laugh at.  Then they did interviews and a lot of the new girls turned out to be cheerleaders from other pro teams like the Rams, Jets, Tigers and such. Then they whittled out the no chance in hell girls from the real tryout girls.  Then they made them all dance on the field w/ the vets too.  There were comments about weight gain and untoned bodies for the vets.  Hmmm...  Then they had them do their individual dances which were interesting.  Finally, the bootcamp invites were named and people were surprised at the vets left out.  Cassie Tramell had a huge knee injury and still made the bootcamp.  Really?  I guess it doesn't hurt when her mother is one of the directors of the cheerleaders.  You could kind of tell Kelly wasn't too cool w/ it but she has to work w/ her mother and probably doesn't want that tension.  Judy kept saying she's had surgery and is healing well.  Do they know that she'll have a bigger chance of blowing out that knee again?  Oh well. 


Well, that's about it for the reality shows.  I'm kind of sad cuz the sitcoms on TV Land and ABC Family are on hiatus.  Until then, we'll enjoy these shows.  See ya next time folks.  Stay tuned!




Sunday, September 9, 2012

Winding Up and Winding Down

The new seasons of the reality shows from the big networks are coming so the summer's shows are winding down.  Then again, some are still in the midst of the fun.  Let's get to it.

The Great Food Truck Race went to Texas.  They seem to go to Texas every season but I can't remember the town.  I suppose the Texas people can really eat so there are probably a lot of customers for the trucks no matter where they go in Texas.  I do know they had a baseball stadium because that was the theme of this week.   First, the teams had to make a baseball stadium food.  I was expecting the chefs to make some hotdog thing.  Only 2 trucks did.  The others just said their food could be served in a baseball stadium.  I suppose.  Heck, you can get sushi and gumbo in baseball stadiums these days.  So some doofus looking guy went around and did the tasting and judging.  He raved about the hotdog from the southern food truck but the Koreans won w/ a kimchi burger.  Huh?  Whatever.  What did they win?  A key.  Then the food trucks parked and started serving.  A call came, along w/ a boot on their trucks.  Ohhhh...the key is for the boot.  Those lucky Koreans.  They were able to move to the stadium when their customers ran out.  The other trucks made the boot their excuse and instead of beating the street to bring over customers, they sat in their trucks and cried about not getting customers.  Whatever.  These people are terrible at business.  Meanwhile, Pop a Waffle ran out of food.  Instead of leaving their truck and going to get more w/ the days profits, they closed shop w/ 7 hours to go.  OMG!  Why didn't they just leave their truck?  It's not like someone could steal it w/ that boot on it.  Anyway, needless to say, the Koreans made the most money and won again and Pop a Waffle made the least and were told to hit the road w/out a truck.  Haw haw.

Hell's Kitchen was down to 2 and a half chefs.  I say 2 and a half because the show started out w/ an elimination.  Camera shouter, Dana, was given the boot.  Bye Dana, back to school for you.  Then the last 2, Christina and Justin, retired to the dorm.  Oh puh-leeze.  There's no rest for the contestants.  They were called to Ramsey's office and told they were going to Vegas.  I love the way Ramsey says the announcements in crafty ways; but not really.  So Vegas vacation?  Oh puh-leeze.  So Justin and Christina are enjoying a Penn and Teller show and of course right in the middle were given the challenge to cook against each other and judged by famous chefs.  Hmmm...that sounds very familiar; like it's been the same for 4 seasons now.  I was happy to see Wolfgang Puck but I didn't know who the heck the other chefs were.  After all the tasting, hemming and hawing and voting for him, him, her, her.  Christina pulled out the win.  Maybe the chefs heard Justin bragging about himself to the camera.  Ok, so in past seasons, at this point, the chefs returned home and eliminated chefs returned to be chosen by the chefs to work as their kitchen brigades.  Well, well, well, that's exactly what happened this time too.  Surprise!  Zzzzz  The only fun thing was watching Robin and Clemenza standing last for the schoolyard pick.  Justin chose well except he got Royce and Clemenza.  If he puts them on stations they don't suck on, he may be ok.  I'm not sure what that would be except the dishwashing station.  Oh well.  I can't wait to see the finale.  Christina's picked mostly the ladies and they're terrible about wasting time fighting.  At least that ugly faced Tiffany isn't there.

MasterChef was down to 3 cooks;  blind chick Christina, bad skin Becky and mongo nostrils Josh.  They each had a book w/ a paper cover that looked like the book was their own recipe book.  That was kind of cheesey and the cooks made a huge deal over it.  Wow!  I'll bet you could give them fake vomit for Xmas and they'd absolutely love it.  So the chefs only had 1 cooking challenge; cook their best dish.  Ok!  Unfortunately, Becky already used up her best recipes and had nothing to pull out of her hat.  Yeah, when you don't have a plan and just grab whatever in the pantry, you're pretty much done at this point in the show.  So the chefs did their tasting frowning, scowly, smiley thing but just a lot slower than usual.  Christina won and Becky was given the boot.  Bye Becky.  Get a freakin' facial for pete's sake.  Meanwhile, Josh is so full of himself, he needs a colonic.  Even though I was hoping a guy would win this season, I hope Christina wipes the floor w/ him.  Next week finale; Yay!

Face Off had a team challenge again.  The artists were paired up randomly.  I think they're not letting them pick their partners because of the twins.  The funniest thing is, nobody knows they're twins.  So the challenge this week was to make a chinese dragon like creature using the chinese zodiac signs of each artist in the pair.  This was soooo cool and I love how professional the artists are.  There's not a lot of ego even though there are older artists w/ a lot more experience.  Nobody seems to be lazy.  Nobody seems to be stupid and nobody seems like they've been chosen to be on the show just because they're good looking.  I pointed those out cuz it seemed to be that way in past seasons.  Once again, the artists were so amazing it would only take an expert eye to tell what was wrong.  I loved the team that did the ribbons on the head and the judges were right, it did make the look Chinesey.  Is that a word?  Some of the dragons weren't very dragoney but incorporating both zodiac animals and then the dragon too would've been too much.  The goats were kind of funny.  In the end, it was ironic w/ one twin's team winning the challenge and one twin's team losing.  Sad to say, the losing twin, Eric, was sent home.  I thought at that point, they would've told the rest of the group that they were twins but they didn't.  Oh well.

Top Chef Masters was down to 5 chefs; Kerry, Patricia, Lorena, Chris and Takashi.  I loved the quickfire cuz it was the mis en plas.  This time they had to grate a pile of cheese, separate eggs and cut precise weight steaks.  Kerry was very wise and took a little more time to get things done right.  He also cut his steaks bigger cuz he pointed out, it's easier to trim the meat than to add.  He was right cuz even though Chris and Patricia were done first, they cut their steaks too small and didn't have any meat leftover to make steaks again.  Haste made waste; literally.  Takashi and Kerry were correct and done before Lorena.  Then they had to make a dish w/ the just prepped ingredients for 3 losing chefs to taste and judge.  Takashi's winning streak ended and Kerry won w/ his sage brown butter which really does sound good for a steak dish.  For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to cook head to head w/ 1 ingredient.  Kerry won immunity so got to sit in the judge seat w/ Ruth, Curtis, James and the guest judge, Sugar Ray Leonard.  Yes, the boxer cuz we all know how qualified retired pro boxers are to judge a cooking show.  Whatever!  It was a huge production w/ a boxing ring and a bell.  So Takashi and Chris were up first w/ the ingredient bacon.  Chris went w/ a breakfasty dish and Takashi did some kind of salady thing.  Since the judges were hung over from the night before, they went for the breakfasty dish and Chris won the round.  Up next were Lorena and Patricia.  I have to say, Patricia is kind of bitchy in her state of fatigue which doesn't look good for us older oriental women.  Their ingredient was bacon too.  Boy, those producers went cheap on the food in this challenge.  They probably spent all the money for this episode on the guest judge, the setting and the props.  Patricia made a salady thing and Lorena made a soup.  The judges weren't into light fare and Lorena won the round.  Go Lorena!  So then the winners cooked against each other w/ the ingredient sugar.  Wow, even cheaper than bacon.  Chris admitted he wasn't very good at desserts so he did what every Italian knows how to do; zabaglione.  Lorena pulled out all the stops and made a 3 part dessert w/ chocolate cake, some dulce de leche thing and something else.  It paid off and she won the top prize of money for her charity and a huge cheap looking belt to go w/ those ingredients.  Finally, Takashi and Patricia cooked against each other.  The ingredient wasn't sugar and I'm not sure what it was but it didn't really matter.  Patricia went simple and Takashi went complicated.  After all that food, the judges went w/ the simple and Takashi was sent home w/ all his past winnings.  Bye Takashi, I'll miss your cute expressions and accent.

Project Runway had another team challenge.  The best part of the announcement of the teams was the expressions on the faces.  OMG, Christopher had a look of fright when Gunnar was named to his team.  Dimtry had a look of venom when Elena was named to his team and I was ROFLMAO!  It was too funny.  Obviously, Elena lost her sensitivity chip a long time ago so she didn't care.  Poor dreadlocked Alicia was caught in the middle of the dysfunctional couple.  So do they get to go to Mood?  Yes, but not yet.  First they had to make crafty fashion items to sell on the street to get money for fabric and notions.  OMG.  I actually liked the stuff Christopher's team made.  It looked really cool.  I think the teams would've sold more if they would've modeled their own stuff but, oh well.  After earning their dough, the teams went to Mood.  Swatch was passed out on the floor and splayed out.  I thought he was dead for a minute but nope, the cutest thing on the show is still alive.  The teams had to make 2 looks for Fall.  Ven's team made the most money but I was surprised to see them choosing cheap looking fabrics and a pink one too.  Ew.  So back in the workroom, the teams get to work.  Blah blah blah, they work, criticize, fight, Tim comes in, the models come in and it's runway time.  The team of Christopher, Gunnar and Sonjia made the cutest dresses and coats that looked fresh, chic and pricey; Winner!  The team of Elena, Dimtry and Alicia made one pants outfit and one dress w/ coats for both.  Dimtry made the dress and actually a shawl all by himself.  Except for the external darts, it was really cute and shawls are a cool thing if done in a chunky way like Dimtry did.  If a shawl is done delicately, then it looks like a granny thing.  Elena's coat, once again, looked like something made for Frankenstein's monster.  Unfortunately, Alicia wasn't able to make a knockout outfit to go under it and the top looked like my 8th grade sewing project.  The team of Ven, Fabio and Melissa made some seriously ugly clothes.  The judges seemed to like the jacket that Melissa made, but I thought it was plain and so 90's.  I think I still have something like that in my closet.  The rest of the clothes looked like impoverished Amish.  Ven made the ugliest skirt in a crap color.  Since when is light rose pink a Fall color?  Loser, but not loser enough cuz poor Alicia was sent home.  Awww...go get rid of those stupid dreads girl.  They're not fashionable at all.  Elena gets the prize for the most delusional and throwing the most people under the bus. 

America's Next Top Model continues to be quite boring.  It was makeover week.  Homely Cutrone showed up to give the girls the choice of getting the makeover or not.  2 girls said no which made me LOL!  Really?  Do they know that of they're really working, they'll probably have 3 different hairstyles in one day complete w/ cutting, extensions and dyeing?  Most of the makeovers weren't too shocking except one girl getting totally bleached out and 1 short haircut.  The blackgirl w/ the long skinny braids had them cut off and a new smooth weave put in and she looked less...hood.  One girl got a totally ugly haircut but seemed to like it anyway.  Really?  Who has That Girl hair and in red no less?  But if you're a true model, you can rock anything.  The girls who didn't get a makeover were given a talking to by Wednesday Cutrone.  Then that ugly bearded weird u-tube guy showed up.  I really wish Tyra would kick him to the curb.  He's creepy and gross.  Then house drama ensued w/ crying on the phone, girls talking about each other, yada yada yada.  The photoshoot was a nude posing w/ a male model thing for art.  It was so boring, I quit caring after the first minute.  That new photoshoot director is terrible and lets the photographer do all the work while he sits back and says, that's good or that's not good.  I think they could've hired a hobo off the street for much less money for that job.  Also, the male model was the judge.  Really?  That guy's boring too and not good looking enough to make up for how boring he is.  Anyway, there was judging and critique and...the girl who didn't get a makeover won for not even looking like herself at all.  Of course a girl went home and I couldn't tell you who if my life depended on it cuz a lot of those girls look alike.  I think it was the black girl who got rid of the braids.  Bye!  Nobody will remember you next week anyway.

Well, that's about it.  The stupid primaries are over.  God, what a lotta hot air.  The Dems criticized the Reps for not having different races at their convention.  Maybe they were there but they don't point their differentness out.  Maybe the minorities were resting at home because they have jobs they were tired from.  Maybe they acted just like the white people and weren't noticed.  Hmmm...  Shove it w/ that minority racial difference crap.  As for Obama promising to bring jobs and a better America.  Well, you had 4 years, Dude.  What were you doing, picking your ass?  That's a nice work ethic.  You're not really going to do your job until the last hours of the day?  Whatever.  All I know is, our country can't survive another stimulus package and bailout.  Ok, I'm getting off the soapbox.

The Fall premier season is coming soon and I can't wait!  Woo hoo!  Until next time people, stay tuned.









Sunday, September 2, 2012

Reality Summer Lovin'

Wow!  I can't believe how many fun reality shows are on.  Most are pretty good and some are going downhill.  There are quite a few, so I'll just get to it.

The Great Food Truck Race went to Flagstaff, Arizona.  The teams learned their lesson from last week when only 1 team actually made any profit.  They're learning to plan ahead better, do better pricing for their product and think strategically for customers.  One truck decided to park at Sam's Club but found the customers were more concerned w/ getting their groceries home than eating.  I should say so.  If you've got a bunch of bulk food that's frozen or cold, you gotta get home.  For the first challenge, the foodtruck people had to cook a dish w/ nopales or cactus paddles.  Beau MacMillan came all the way from Phoenix to do the tasting and judging.  The dishes were interesting.  You could tell nobody really knew how to use it.  I thought the best use was the grilling done by the Aussie chicks.  The waffle truck guys pulled out the win.  I have to say, those waffle guys proved anything can be good on a waffle.  Their prize was immunity.  So the rest of the show was about the trucks cooking and selling.  One truck of chicks were mad at another truck of chicks for not saving them a spot.  Oh whatever.  Get to the spot earlier.  You know the early bird saying.  So in the end, it's all about who makes the most money and who makes the least.  Once again, the Korean guys made the most and the Aussie girls finally ran out of luck and were sent home.  Awww...Bye girls.  I'll miss your cool accents.

Hell's Kitchen was down to 4 chefs.  The challenge this week was to make a dish for the most profit.  They got $15 to buy ingredients.  They each went for a different protein.  So a lot of running around commenced, followed by frantic cooking and then the judging.  I think Ramsay is just dragging in anybody and saying words like Michelin stars and James Beard award.  Well blah blah blah cuz I didn't know who the heck those judges were but whatever.  They liked all the dishes but had to be minutely critical.  They also gave prices of how much they'd pay for a dish.  Really?  Where the heck do these guys eat where they'd pay over $25 for an entree?  Barbie was the only one who's dish looked large enough to even be that much.  Well, Dana won and was sent to go cook w/ one of the chefs who judged.  All I have to say is, he looked like a greasy spoon cook in a clean apron.  Ew.  Then she got to eat w/ her parents.  Meanwhile, for punishment, the other chefs had to pick through the trash and sort it.  Now that was totally made up cuz you didn't see anybody else doing this the whole season and there have been plenty of shots of the dumpsters.  At dinner service it was the time for the chefs to each run the pass.  It was the usual thing w/ some dish being done wrong.  Everybody did pretty good except Dana missed the sugar Ramsay dumped into the risotto.  I figured, man they must get pretty full by the end of the evening if they have to take a bite of each dish that goes out.  Dana seemed to be the most uncooperative w/ the chefs but then again, if it takes 8 minutes to cook something, how can you rush that?  This time, all four chefs were up for elimination.  Barbie was sent home and I'm not sure why.  I think Ramsay saw that she just didn't garner any respect in the kitchen. Bye Barbie.  I still don't know why everyone disliked you but I admire you for handling those haters really well.

MasterChef was also down to 4 cooks.  They paired up and had to cook an entree and a dessert for fancy guest judges and of course the regular 3 judges.  Ok, the guest judges were impressive: Boloud, Bocuse and another one just as impressive. All the food was good but it came to missed plating.  The ladies were on one team and the guys the other.  On the entree course, the ladies failed to get part of the dish on all of the plates and the judges noticed.  On the dessert, the men failed to make all the plates look the same and failed to get all the sauces on all the plates and the judges noticed.  The women won the day which meant Frank and Josh had to cook in the elimination round.  They had to cook 3 different kinds of souffles in an hour.  Really?  Jeez, they had to grate cheese, separate and beat eggs, cut up and melt chocolate and cook down raspberries and then bake the souffles in only 60 minutes?  It seemed quite impossible.  I wasn't surprised that they didn't have time to powder sugar the tops of their dessert souffles.  Josh saved time by putting his raspberries whole in his souffle.  The souffles looked even in consistency but it came down to the flavors and Ramsay and the 2 buddies liked Josh's best.  Bye Frank.  I'm thinking a lady's going to win again.

Face Off didn't have a mini-challenge.  Instead, they devoted all the time into the main challenge and it was very nice.  Westmore must've told the producers that the art would be better if the artists had enough time.  Hey!  Tell that to the Project Runway producers.  The make-up artists had to make looks w/ sea and nautical themes like seaweed, daggers, crabs, barnacles and stuff like that.  These people are impressive and the techniques are shown better this season.  I think the producers finally realized we want to see how it's done.  The artists even have time to make arm and leg prosthetics that look really cool.  They also make  whole body suits.  That's really impressive.  So in the end the girl who's the girlfriend of Ian from last year won w/ her oozing sea urchin creature and that girl who didn't know what a barnacle was, was sent home.  Once again though, even the bottom looks look awesome.

Top Chef Masters was down to 6 chefs.  For the quickfire, they had to do aphrodisiac dishes w/ Dita VonTees as a judge.  All the dishes looked really good and Dita gave each one a kind of sleezy/slutty critique.  Poor Curtis blushed redder and redder the whole time.  Takashi made an oyster and uni dish and was declared the winner of immunity and cash for his charity.  The Chefs found it was the week for restaurant wars but this time, no war.  They had to open a Thai restaurant and each make a dish.  I kept wondering where the restaurant was supposed to be and it turned out to be the Top Chef kitchen and dining area.  The chefs were sent to a famous Thai restaurant in Vegas w/ an authentic Thai chef who didn't speak a word of English.  They all oohed, ahed, kissed some butt and some took notes.  Then they shopped like crazy people.  If the dishes have to be so specialized, why didn't they just get their proteins from a butcher and then shop in an Asian market?  Instead, one group was at the regular food store and they yelled that they couldn't find their special Thai ingredients.  No kidding.  This time, they didn't have to decorate their restaurant either.  That was good.  The next day the chefs did the bulk of their cooking and space seemed limited w/ Patricia coming down on Lorena for taking up stove space for food prep.  I'm thinking Patricia didn't get enough sleep.  Also, all of the chefs wanted to be line cooks.  That's hilarious but finally, Art and Lorena were put in charge of front of house.  They did a good job.  Kerry was made expediter and seemed very amateur which was really weird considering he has his own restaurants.  The dishes were all judged to be delicious but some more than others.  Poor Art, this was not his forte at all and he described his dish as Thai food and Art inspired.  Actually, he should've turned that around and had Art's food inspired by Thai and it would've been better.  Instead, he had chicken chunks w/ cashew halves all over them.  Lorena made Thai soup.  Takashi did the crispy noodles.  Chris made Larb beef tartar.  Kerry made lamb w/ Taro puree.  Patricia who lived in Thailand for 2 years made a duck curry thing.  Unfortunately, timing was off and she had her dishes ready when Kerry was throwing his on the grill.  I think she had to serve her dishes to other people and start new ones.  Then Kerry was done and she wasn't so she served her duck too soon and the judges really noticed.  James Oseland will eat anything.  It was a really bad sign when he sent his dish back.  Yikes!  At judging, the judges raved about Kerry and Chris's dishes and Chris was declared the winner.  Patricia was reluctant to throw Kerry under the bus so he told what happened.  Poor Kerry, he looked like a hang dog all that time after Patricia told him it was his fault her duck was underdone.  You could tell he felt terrible about the situation.  Is that guy Catholic?  Jeez, you'd have thought the priest had told him he broke a commandment.  Anyway, Art got the boot for his un-Thaied chicken and Lorena was in tears.  Bye Art, I'll miss your deep fried and biscuit dishes but not your namedropping and reminders of your weight loss.

Project Runway went to Lord and Taylor where the designers saw a collection of cocktail dresses and gowns made by previous contestants.  I have to say, Bert's gown was stunning.  I also liked Nick's dress cuz it had color.  Chris March made a dress for a fat gypsy.  Jay's dress looked like the dress that was kicked off last week.  The designers were to make a dress to fit into the collection that would be in the window and sold at L and T.  They didn't have to go to Mood cuz L & T provided the material and notions too.  That was kind of nice but also kind of limiting.  A lot of the designers chose the black materials.  Christopher did his shredding thing on the ugliest pink material.  Gunnar decided to use black lace.  Ven made an ugly black fabric rose right in the middle of the upper chest.  Dmitry's dress looked inside out w/ the seams standing up.  Elena made some racer front leathery looking hideous dress.  Melissa made an interesting dress that had one side of the hem way too long.  Alicia made a sack dress w/ an ugly front box pleat in the front.  Sonjia didn't make her zipper long enough and cried trying to get her model into the dress.  Once it was on though, it looked great.  I loved that it took 3 different people to pull it onto the model. Fabio also made an asymetrical thing but it was cute.  Christopher won w/ his granny gown.  The judges raved over Elena's dress which surprised her so much she burst into tears.  I was surprised too.  They also raved over Alicia's dress and then didn't seem to like Gunnar's.  Really?  Then I really don't know fashion.  Gunnar's dress was cute and timeless.  He makes more modest designs but they look cool and classy.  Nobody was sent home due to the 2 quitters in the beginning of the season.  Yay!  I would've been mad if Gunnar went home for making such a cute dress.  Elena seems to be getting nicer in her fatigued state.  Ven's still suffering from hoof in mouth disease.  They didn't show any funny comments from Dmitry.  Aw...too bad.

America's Next Top Model had it's real first challenge and photoshoot.  The challenge consisted of the girls walking around a pole and a hanging hoop in front of a leering and cheering crowd.  If I was an intelligent college girl, I would be very offended at being objectified in such a blatant way.  The stage wasn't long enough to be a runway and therefore, the whole scene looked like a pole dancing club.  Some of the girls picked up on that vibe and then were criticized for being too sexy.  Uh huh.  Confused!  So...one girl won and didn't really win a prize.  I guess the win is the prize.  Whatever.  Other girls complained that they were better, naturally.  That one skinny pale white girl gets a lot of airtime w/ her arrogance.  For the photoshoot, I always have to pause in memory of Mr. Jay.  No, he's not dead but he is gone and I miss him terribly.  The guy who's doing his job is so boring, I hardly notice him and the girls don't seem to notice him either.  This photoshoot was really dumb.  The girls stuck their heads through a hole and had to look like a mounted and stuffed model head on the wall.  I felt sorry for them cuz it wasn't a good opportunity to show angles and they couldn't move around at all to change any position.  The posing options were look left, look right, look up or look straight ahead.  It really came down to expressions.  At judging panel the judges beside Tyra were so dull, Tyra looked like a meat sandwich w/ corpse bread.  I think she's planned it that way cuz she got tired of people liking her companions better than her.  I really miss Nigel.  Anyway, blah blah blah, the bottom 2 girls were the ones w/ the least expression.  The only girl I liked, Jessie, was sent home.  Rats!  Tyra's running out of ideas and is down to the really stupid ones.  Sorry to say, but this show has run it's course and is getting old and boring.

Well that's about it.  The networks will be starting their new seasons soon.  Last week was the Republican Conventions w/ a lot of speeches and stumping.  Clint Eastwood did one and wasn't too bad for an 81 yr old guy.  Wow, a Republican Hollywood actor.  That's a rare thing.  This coming week is the Democrats w/ their speeches and stumping.  I wonder if Obama will show since he's so camera shy?  Har har.  After that, the networks will show their returning or new shows.  I can't wait but at the same time, some shows are getting a little old.  I'm also sick and tired of single camera sitcoms w/ shaky cameramen.  Tell them not to drink on the job for crying out loud.  Well, I'm done.  Until next time people; stay tuned.