Waking the Sleeping Giants

Hello everybody.  I'm loving the return of the oldies but goodies in the world of competition reality shows.  OMG, I'm just so excited.  The only thing that's bad is, they're all stacked in the beginning of the week.  Then there's absolutely nothing on Saturday.  Whatever. 

The Great Food Truck Race went to Nashville.  There was only 4 teams left.  The first challenge was to cook something southern.  The hilarious part was none of the teams were Southern food cooks at all.  The Koreans, Alaskans, Waffle guys and the Italian girls were all scratching their heads.  So they tried to come as close as possible and everyone ended up cooking fried chicken.  I fell on the floor laughing at that.  I think I heard a reference to a certain Southern Colonel's restaurant chain.  The Alaskan blondes pointed out they were the only team not to win a challenge and they didn't win this one either.  The Pop a Waffle guys won but not w/ chicken and waffles.  Once again, they got an item that was worth money in the till.  Really?  How original.  It was a guitar from an artist who Tyler had to convince the people, was famous.  Uh huh.  Anyway, the teams made their way into the town.  You would think that w/ only 4 trucks, they could find plenty of room away from each other but no and the Italian girls trying to fit into a crowded city area was a wreck; literally.  Finally!  An accident happened.  They totally crunched into a car and the girls were panicking and in tears.  Aw...  You can tell the remaining teams are really learning the business.  They got less money to start w/ and yet bought very wisely, when they sold out, they went and bought again and cooked again.  They left their trucks to call in people to eat.  Then Tyler called to tell them only the chef of the truck could be in the truck and he had to work w/ 2 cooking students.  It turned out to be a good thing.  It showed things really move along quickly when people know the basics about cooking.  It also pointed out that a lot of the people in the trucks didn't know the basics of cooking ha ha ha.  The students proved they were future chefs by trying to tweak the dishes but the truck chefs stood firm.  In the end Pop a Waffle won by making the most money but a lot of it was due to that challenge win.  The Alaskans finally used up all their luck and made the least money.  Bye!  Next time do Alaskan food and maybe people won't be so disappointed to find you've only made white trash food.

Face Off had a cool challenge.  The artists were put into teams of 2 and they were shown different kinds of vehicles.  I say vehicles because one was a motorcycle w/ a side car.   Their makeup to do was superhero w/ a sidekick inspired by their vehicle they chose.  I was hoping to see some really cool stuff.  There were big plans.  Roy was paired up w/ that weird pink face pierced girl, Alana.  Jason and Rod were a team.  Derek and Sarah were together and finally Laura and Tommy.  Roy had to do a lot of directing and instruction.  Yeah, it doesn't pay to have to much detail and take 2 days to make your mold.  At the same time, he got his look totally done and he made the coolest troll creature.  Rod was warned by V. Neil not to do the same face on his character that he kept doing.  It seemed Mussolini's fat head floated in front of his face whenever he created his characters.  Rod then really really tried to change the look of his character's face and somehow, still produced the same face.  Sarah and Derek had one disaster happen after another and ended up using Elmer's glue and putty to do their makeups.  The judges were not kind.  Laura proved she has more talent than Tommy.  Her character's look overshadowed his so much, his looked even crappier by comparison.  Jason made a body makeup and then put a suit on the guy.  Really?  BTW, I forgot to mention Kevin Smith was the guest judge and lent humor to the panel.  Derek made a mask w/ a mouth that didn't articulate and was slipping.  The judges hated it.  Once again, Roy made an amazing look and still didn't win.  Instead, Alana won and didn't give Roy the credit he should've had since he directed her how to make it.  I really wanted to smack her for that.   Jason was sent home for his poor choices but I think was offered a job by Kevin Smith.  Bye Jason, I still don't know who the heck you are, but you're cute.

Hot Set is a new show set up like Chopped.  2 production artists are given 2 days to make a set for a movie scene w/ their own teams.  The host is an actor I've seen in bit parts and the judges are people I'm not familiar w/ but I guess they know their stuff.  Okay, I gotta say, it sounded interesting but wasn't.  To begin w/ the show is what I call one shot to lose.  Each episode is independant w/ a winner declared each time.  the production designers are really unknown people and just seem like bossy people who don't do a lot of their own work.  I guess it's more like Iron Chef except the production designers are totally different each time.  So they got their scenario which was some astronaut landing on an alien world that wasn't so good.  A bad thing is, there are no live things on the set so there's not a lot of movement except for the astronaut.  The female PD was kind of weird and didn't use her team to their full potential.  I really think they need to do a sketch for the team to see but she just tried to describe the melee in her head and ran off to buy the big props.  Whatever.  The male PD had his team start the huge set background and did do a sketch to show the team what he had in mind.  That was smart except he didn't pull on the reigns and his team kind of got away from him and went off the reservation a little.  So big rocks, trees, skeletons, dead astronauts and broken equipment littered the sets but at the same time, they kind of looked the same.  The actor did exactly 1 minute on film that looked way too cheesy to even be a spoof of Star Trek.  The guy wanted his set to seem like a living being but it didn't.  The woman's set looked like a piece of Death Valley and not alien at all.  In the end, the woman won and I didn't understand at all.  Even worse, I didn't care.  I don't think this show is gonna fly like Face Off.  Nobody really likes to watch people be bossy and then get all the credit for the work.   I was just glad I wouldn't have to see those contestants again.

Survivor is back and in the Philipines.  The twist this season is 3 past contestants who were ejected by fate were brought back.  2 of them, we never really wanted to see again.  Jonathan was a douche and still is.  That black guy who kept passing out so much in his season they flew him off, and we weren't sorry to see him go was back.  The only guy I was always wondering why they never brought back was back; Michael Skupin, the Australian Outback contestant who fell in the fire and ran into the yucky water.  As usual, the group came in all together to do their 5 second intro of themselves.  They were split into 3 teams w/ stupid names.  So stupid that I'm gonna call them by their colors; green, yellow and red.  We saw Lisa Welchel is trying to do the reality show thing.  So the tribes found the boat they were on was full of useful items like live animals, food, pans, buckets, etc.  Jeff gave them 15 minutes to grab as much as they could before they had to jump off the boat.  As usual the tribes lost a lot of stuff when they tried to jump on the rafts they threw their stuff on.  Boy, I can tell they've got another season of idiots again.  They made their way to their camps and thank the gods, they weren't living together and there wasn't any 2nd chance island.  Yeesh.  Right away, black returning guy declared that he wasn't the leader but he proceeded to tell everyone what to do and how to do it.  A lot of eye rolling commenced behind his back and on this side of the TV screen.  I would've told him, if you're not the leader then shut yer yap.  His tribe is the green tribe and full of connivers.  Skupin is older and wiser. On his tribe, he got the TV star and he layed low but w/ a good work ethic.  His tribe is the yellow tribe.  Finally, the red tribe has Jonathan and he stood back and watched everybody like a vulture.  Nobody trusts him and he doesn't trust anybody.  The green tribe made fire first which was amazing.  Jonathan and the black returning guy found clues to the HII (hidden immunity idol).  There was only 1 challenge again and it entailed rowing, gathering, swimming and puzzle solving.  The black returning guy on the green team told everyone their roles even though they protested.  They didn't like it.  So off they went and in the end the red team won first, the yellow came in 2nd and the green team went to tribal council.  The green team had a retarded Forest Gumpy guy who told everyone he's ok going home but would like to stay too.  What a dumbass.  In this game, anyone who says they don't want to be there is quickly obliged.  It's an easy vote because nobody feels guilty doing it.  Tribal council gets dumber every season because the people know to keep their yaps shut except if they're especially stupid.  The black returning guy and Forest Gumpy were exceptionally stupid and talked nonsense.  At least the black guy admitted he was at fault for choosing the people to do stuff in the challenge.  Forest Gumpy was sent home and the black guy has a huge target on his back w/ the women grumbling at his bossiness.  BTW, the prizes for winning the challenge were fire making kit for 1st place and flint for 2nd place.  The losers got flint after Tribal council so BFD.  Hm...  I do like that they returned to the original format but I'm not sure about the 3 tribes and I really don't like Jonathan or that black returning guy.  But I'm intrigued and watching.

The Challenge is different w/ teams made of the seasons of The Real World.  That's pretty cool and they're calling it Battle of the Seasons.  I'm guessing they figured out that Road Rules hasn't been on for so long the people from that show are getting kind of old; and I mean age wise.  So they're in a place close to the Middle East which is kind of scary when you think how hedonistic these people can get.  Before they do the challenge part, they show a lot of household shenanigans and these young people are already swinging, fighting, shouting and getting drunk.  Right before the challenge, a new team is brought in and it consists of vets:  Fatty Eric or Big Easy, crying creepy Cara Mia, homely Camilla and well...I can't remember the guy but I know he's not been on a lot of seasons.  The team members have to climb rope ladders hanging over water to beams that they have to balance and cross.  When I say they have to balance, I mean it.  If one team member moves forward faster than the other at the other end, the beam will tilt.  OMG, good thing these people are pretty young.  A couple fall and smack the water hard.  Fatty Eric's team DQ's cuz he can't climb the the ladder.  I wasn't at all surprised to find Alton and Trishelle's team was the fastest cuz he's practically superhuman and none of the other teams has a ringer like him.  So the loser loser team automatically has to do the elimination challenge and the winner team gets to choose who competes against them.  Alton's team (Las Vegas seasons) chooses Wes's team.  Wes has matured but he's still hated by everybody.  The thing is, even though he isn't aggressive, he still baits people into trying to fight him.  Ok, so this year there are categories to the elimination challenges:  physical, mental, endurance and speed or something like that.  Alton picks physical to give Fatty Eric's team a chance.  The contest has a person at each end of a tunnel running at each other to get to the bell at the other end.  Only 1 girl and 1 guy from each team have to compete.  Cara Mia does a really good job but has speed and agility on her side against that schlubby girl from Wes's team.  Cara Mia wins.  Wes looks like one of those football dummies on the sleds but there's nowhere to go cuz Fatty Eric takes up the whole tunnel.  Poor Wes loses and has a quick end to this season.  I have a feeling Alton will win this season.  Then TJ tells them they can't use that elimination challenge category until the others have been used. Oh boy!  The next weeks should be really interesting.  I can't wait.  Bye Wes and schlubby girl.

Top Chef Masters was down to 3 chefs:  Chris, Kerry and Lorena.  The quickfire had the chefs trying to direct an unknown person on the other side of a barrier.  They all must've seen the previous season and no one screamed at their partner.  As it was, the unknown people were the show's judges.  What was Lorena thinking?  She didn't even start her pasta until 5 minutes until time was up.  Really?  So she tried to make a dish w/ the sauce.  Uh huh.  Chris was paired w/ Oseland and it was hilarious and cute.  They made a prawn dish.  I think it was prawns.  If it was shrimp, those shrimp were monsters.  Anyway, the best part was when their dish was tasted and Curtis declared Oseland's dish a little better and he said, "Shut the F___ up."  Which made Chris collapse in laughter.  Also, their dishes looked very similar.  Kerry and Ruth were paired up and she put a big pile of the chicken on the plate but Curtis said they both tasted similar and very good.  Finally the Asian skinny guy Lam and Lorena were up and actually Lam's dish looked better but Lorena said her dish was what was intended.  Really?  You wanted your dish to look like day old vomit?  Curtis said they were good but needed the pasta.  Kerry was declared the winner which surprised me but ok.  For the elimination challenge, the chefs had 2 cooking school students to make a dish worthy of being served in their restaurants.  They couldn't do any of the cooking at all.  The funny thing was when the students presented dishes to the chefs.  Chris's kids made pork which was right up his alley but they put boring stuff w/ their pork that made the dish look like something a midwestern housewife would serve up for supper.  Kerry's kids made a weird chicken roulade thing w/ string cheese and spinach which they called Florentine.  Yeah, it wasn't.  Kerry's look on his face when he tasted it was hilarious.  You could tell he wanted to spit it out but didn't want to hurt their feelings.  When he swallowed it was just like Lucy's Vitameatavegamin commercial.  OMG, I couldn't stop laughing.  Lorena's kids made lasagna which didn't look too bad.  I loved the way Lorena said lasagna w/ her Venezuelan accent.  The chefs proceeded to find out about their young cooks and then give them lessons on food pairings, shopping, ingredients and prepping.  They made their dishes.  Chris underestimated the efficiency of his cooks and they plated too soon.  Kerry's cooks did a really good job of producing exactly what he wanted.  Lorena decided to serve the lasagna and salad family style which didn't go over too well w/ the judges.  Yeah, you don't see fine dining being served family style.  For all the people who do like family style, don't ever eat w/ me cuz most likely, you'll be having your kids at the table and I hate that.  Anyhoo, the judges had a bit of fighting but in the end Kerry won and Lorena was sent packing.  Aw...bye Lorena.  Say hi to Art for me.  Next week; the finale woo hoo!

Project Runway always has at least 1 tacky costume challenge and this week was it.  The designers had to make a costume for the Rockettes.  Okay so maybe it wasn't soooo tacky.  The designers bemoaned the fact that they had very little money for expensive stuff like beads, crystals and sequinned material.  They frantically ran around so much at Mood, Swatch stayed in hiding.  Back at Parsons, Sonjia proceeded to use feathers to make a skirt.  Cute but not functional for the Rockettes at all.  Dmitry made the funniest chicken comment.  I love Dmitry.  LOL!!!  Fabio made some metallic body suit thing in a hideous bronze and silver color.  Ven made a boring grey shiny netting costume w/ a figure skating skirt.  Elena made a bright blue gaudy majorette costume.  Christopher made an interesting costume with the chest and abdomen covered by the New York skyline but in white.  Melissa made a weird square collared hotpink thing which she tried to cleverly colorblock w/ black sequins but it turned into a big 1 on the chest.  Finally, Dmitry made a gorgeous navy blue geometric design costume w/ a fringe skirt.  It was cute, classy, sexy, chic and very dancy. Tim Gunn must've had a serious talk w/ the producers after seeing the designers' work and hearing them say, "I wanted to buy this and that but didn't have enough money."  The designers were given more money and a 2nd short trip to Mood.  Ven and Fabio turned it down.  Dmitry was totally robbed cuz Christopher was declared the winner.  Really?  When the Rockettes wear his costume, I don't think the people in the balcony or back rows will even be able to see the neat design because of the white but oh well.  Finally, Ven was told his costume was ugly and was sent home.  Yay!  Bye Ven, work on being less of a total douchebag.

America's Next Top Model showed a lot of arguing, bickering and talking behind people's backs.  They had a runway challenge.  I have to say, these long legged girls can really look gawky and awkward.  There was something about Alicia Keys and of course one girl just had to sing in front of her.  Yeah, people really shouldn't do that cuz music stars have big egos and really don't want to hear them.  So the winner of the Runway show was the tall athletic black girl who seems fun.  For the photoshoot, the girls wore cheerleader outfits and had to pose as they were thrown into the air by guys.  Fun!  These girls are tall and skinny.  All of us were afraid they were going to break something.  As it was, the landings did produce a couple of injuries to the guys and the girls.  The funniest thing was, the girl who actually was a cheerleader had the stiffest looking picture.  At judging, it was interesting to note that Tyra was looking for the girls to look like models and the rest of the judges were looking for the girls to look like cheerleaders. Tyra won out cuz the girl who got the best picture of the week had a more modely looking picture and the gap toothed girl was sent home.  Bye!

Speaking of cheerleaders, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders:  Making the Team was in it's 2nd week of bootcamp.  The girls were deemed the best group of hopefuls ever by Kelly.  That was impressive.  So because of that, Kelly and Judy were really nitpicky.  They did dancing in the studio then broke up into 4 teams w/ Judy's daughter heading one of them.  That wasn't a surprise.  There was no sign of her bum knee either.  There was a part of the show they showed a group of vets having fun w/ the Olympic shooting team w/ a skeet shooting contest.  You can tell this year's crop of hopefuls are very dedicated because they looked like they practiced a lot.  There was also basic costume fitting which was interesting.  Man are those costumes skimpy on the bottom.  It's hilarious that the most coverage is the sleeves.  The girls also had to do the kick line and for some odd reason, they didn't seem like they practiced that.  That's a signature thing for the DCC so you'd think the girls would really practice that.  Anyway, finally at the end of the show, the girl who showed least improvement and the girl who blew out her knee were cut.  Bye!  See ya next year at auditions again.

Well, that's about it.  You can tell the new seasons of the shows are coming next week because the re-runs showed the season finales from the last season.  Ooh ooh, I can't wait.  I've missed the shows.  So until next time people, stay tuned.