The new seasons of the reality shows from the big networks are coming so the summer's shows are winding down. Then again, some are still in the midst of the fun. Let's get to it.
The Great Food Truck Race went to Texas. They seem to go to Texas every season but I can't remember the town. I suppose the Texas people can really eat so there are probably a lot of customers for the trucks no matter where they go in Texas. I do know they had a baseball stadium because that was the theme of this week. First, the teams had to make a baseball stadium food. I was expecting the chefs to make some hotdog thing. Only 2 trucks did. The others just said their food could be served in a baseball stadium. I suppose. Heck, you can get sushi and gumbo in baseball stadiums these days. So some doofus looking guy went around and did the tasting and judging. He raved about the hotdog from the southern food truck but the Koreans won w/ a kimchi burger. Huh? Whatever. What did they win? A key. Then the food trucks parked and started serving. A call came, along w/ a boot on their trucks. Ohhhh...the key is for the boot. Those lucky Koreans. They were able to move to the stadium when their customers ran out. The other trucks made the boot their excuse and instead of beating the street to bring over customers, they sat in their trucks and cried about not getting customers. Whatever. These people are terrible at business. Meanwhile, Pop a Waffle ran out of food. Instead of leaving their truck and going to get more w/ the days profits, they closed shop w/ 7 hours to go. OMG! Why didn't they just leave their truck? It's not like someone could steal it w/ that boot on it. Anyway, needless to say, the Koreans made the most money and won again and Pop a Waffle made the least and were told to hit the road w/out a truck. Haw haw.
Hell's Kitchen was down to 2 and a half chefs. I say 2 and a half because the show started out w/ an elimination. Camera shouter, Dana, was given the boot. Bye Dana, back to school for you. Then the last 2, Christina and Justin, retired to the dorm. Oh puh-leeze. There's no rest for the contestants. They were called to Ramsey's office and told they were going to Vegas. I love the way Ramsey says the announcements in crafty ways; but not really. So Vegas vacation? Oh puh-leeze. So Justin and Christina are enjoying a Penn and Teller show and of course right in the middle were given the challenge to cook against each other and judged by famous chefs. Hmmm...that sounds very familiar; like it's been the same for 4 seasons now. I was happy to see Wolfgang Puck but I didn't know who the heck the other chefs were. After all the tasting, hemming and hawing and voting for him, him, her, her. Christina pulled out the win. Maybe the chefs heard Justin bragging about himself to the camera. Ok, so in past seasons, at this point, the chefs returned home and eliminated chefs returned to be chosen by the chefs to work as their kitchen brigades. Well, well, well, that's exactly what happened this time too. Surprise! Zzzzz The only fun thing was watching Robin and Clemenza standing last for the schoolyard pick. Justin chose well except he got Royce and Clemenza. If he puts them on stations they don't suck on, he may be ok. I'm not sure what that would be except the dishwashing station. Oh well. I can't wait to see the finale. Christina's picked mostly the ladies and they're terrible about wasting time fighting. At least that ugly faced Tiffany isn't there.
MasterChef was down to 3 cooks; blind chick Christina, bad skin Becky and mongo nostrils Josh. They each had a book w/ a paper cover that looked like the book was their own recipe book. That was kind of cheesey and the cooks made a huge deal over it. Wow! I'll bet you could give them fake vomit for Xmas and they'd absolutely love it. So the chefs only had 1 cooking challenge; cook their best dish. Ok! Unfortunately, Becky already used up her best recipes and had nothing to pull out of her hat. Yeah, when you don't have a plan and just grab whatever in the pantry, you're pretty much done at this point in the show. So the chefs did their tasting frowning, scowly, smiley thing but just a lot slower than usual. Christina won and Becky was given the boot. Bye Becky. Get a freakin' facial for pete's sake. Meanwhile, Josh is so full of himself, he needs a colonic. Even though I was hoping a guy would win this season, I hope Christina wipes the floor w/ him. Next week finale; Yay!
Face Off had a team challenge again. The artists were paired up randomly. I think they're not letting them pick their partners because of the twins. The funniest thing is, nobody knows they're twins. So the challenge this week was to make a chinese dragon like creature using the chinese zodiac signs of each artist in the pair. This was soooo cool and I love how professional the artists are. There's not a lot of ego even though there are older artists w/ a lot more experience. Nobody seems to be lazy. Nobody seems to be stupid and nobody seems like they've been chosen to be on the show just because they're good looking. I pointed those out cuz it seemed to be that way in past seasons. Once again, the artists were so amazing it would only take an expert eye to tell what was wrong. I loved the team that did the ribbons on the head and the judges were right, it did make the look Chinesey. Is that a word? Some of the dragons weren't very dragoney but incorporating both zodiac animals and then the dragon too would've been too much. The goats were kind of funny. In the end, it was ironic w/ one twin's team winning the challenge and one twin's team losing. Sad to say, the losing twin, Eric, was sent home. I thought at that point, they would've told the rest of the group that they were twins but they didn't. Oh well.
Top Chef Masters was down to 5 chefs; Kerry, Patricia, Lorena, Chris and Takashi. I loved the quickfire cuz it was the mis en plas. This time they had to grate a pile of cheese, separate eggs and cut precise weight steaks. Kerry was very wise and took a little more time to get things done right. He also cut his steaks bigger cuz he pointed out, it's easier to trim the meat than to add. He was right cuz even though Chris and Patricia were done first, they cut their steaks too small and didn't have any meat leftover to make steaks again. Haste made waste; literally. Takashi and Kerry were correct and done before Lorena. Then they had to make a dish w/ the just prepped ingredients for 3 losing chefs to taste and judge. Takashi's winning streak ended and Kerry won w/ his sage brown butter which really does sound good for a steak dish. For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to cook head to head w/ 1 ingredient. Kerry won immunity so got to sit in the judge seat w/ Ruth, Curtis, James and the guest judge, Sugar Ray Leonard. Yes, the boxer cuz we all know how qualified retired pro boxers are to judge a cooking show. Whatever! It was a huge production w/ a boxing ring and a bell. So Takashi and Chris were up first w/ the ingredient bacon. Chris went w/ a breakfasty dish and Takashi did some kind of salady thing. Since the judges were hung over from the night before, they went for the breakfasty dish and Chris won the round. Up next were Lorena and Patricia. I have to say, Patricia is kind of bitchy in her state of fatigue which doesn't look good for us older oriental women. Their ingredient was bacon too. Boy, those producers went cheap on the food in this challenge. They probably spent all the money for this episode on the guest judge, the setting and the props. Patricia made a salady thing and Lorena made a soup. The judges weren't into light fare and Lorena won the round. Go Lorena! So then the winners cooked against each other w/ the ingredient sugar. Wow, even cheaper than bacon. Chris admitted he wasn't very good at desserts so he did what every Italian knows how to do; zabaglione. Lorena pulled out all the stops and made a 3 part dessert w/ chocolate cake, some dulce de leche thing and something else. It paid off and she won the top prize of money for her charity and a huge cheap looking belt to go w/ those ingredients. Finally, Takashi and Patricia cooked against each other. The ingredient wasn't sugar and I'm not sure what it was but it didn't really matter. Patricia went simple and Takashi went complicated. After all that food, the judges went w/ the simple and Takashi was sent home w/ all his past winnings. Bye Takashi, I'll miss your cute expressions and accent.
Project Runway had another team challenge. The best part of the announcement of the teams was the expressions on the faces. OMG, Christopher had a look of fright when Gunnar was named to his team. Dimtry had a look of venom when Elena was named to his team and I was ROFLMAO! It was too funny. Obviously, Elena lost her sensitivity chip a long time ago so she didn't care. Poor dreadlocked Alicia was caught in the middle of the dysfunctional couple. So do they get to go to Mood? Yes, but not yet. First they had to make crafty fashion items to sell on the street to get money for fabric and notions. OMG. I actually liked the stuff Christopher's team made. It looked really cool. I think the teams would've sold more if they would've modeled their own stuff but, oh well. After earning their dough, the teams went to Mood. Swatch was passed out on the floor and splayed out. I thought he was dead for a minute but nope, the cutest thing on the show is still alive. The teams had to make 2 looks for Fall. Ven's team made the most money but I was surprised to see them choosing cheap looking fabrics and a pink one too. Ew. So back in the workroom, the teams get to work. Blah blah blah, they work, criticize, fight, Tim comes in, the models come in and it's runway time. The team of Christopher, Gunnar and Sonjia made the cutest dresses and coats that looked fresh, chic and pricey; Winner! The team of Elena, Dimtry and Alicia made one pants outfit and one dress w/ coats for both. Dimtry made the dress and actually a shawl all by himself. Except for the external darts, it was really cute and shawls are a cool thing if done in a chunky way like Dimtry did. If a shawl is done delicately, then it looks like a granny thing. Elena's coat, once again, looked like something made for Frankenstein's monster. Unfortunately, Alicia wasn't able to make a knockout outfit to go under it and the top looked like my 8th grade sewing project. The team of Ven, Fabio and Melissa made some seriously ugly clothes. The judges seemed to like the jacket that Melissa made, but I thought it was plain and so 90's. I think I still have something like that in my closet. The rest of the clothes looked like impoverished Amish. Ven made the ugliest skirt in a crap color. Since when is light rose pink a Fall color? Loser, but not loser enough cuz poor Alicia was sent home. Awww...go get rid of those stupid dreads girl. They're not fashionable at all. Elena gets the prize for the most delusional and throwing the most people under the bus.
America's Next Top Model continues to be quite boring. It was makeover week. Homely Cutrone showed up to give the girls the choice of getting the makeover or not. 2 girls said no which made me LOL! Really? Do they know that of they're really working, they'll probably have 3 different hairstyles in one day complete w/ cutting, extensions and dyeing? Most of the makeovers weren't too shocking except one girl getting totally bleached out and 1 short haircut. The blackgirl w/ the long skinny braids had them cut off and a new smooth weave put in and she looked less...hood. One girl got a totally ugly haircut but seemed to like it anyway. Really? Who has That Girl hair and in red no less? But if you're a true model, you can rock anything. The girls who didn't get a makeover were given a talking to by Wednesday Cutrone. Then that ugly bearded weird u-tube guy showed up. I really wish Tyra would kick him to the curb. He's creepy and gross. Then house drama ensued w/ crying on the phone, girls talking about each other, yada yada yada. The photoshoot was a nude posing w/ a male model thing for art. It was so boring, I quit caring after the first minute. That new photoshoot director is terrible and lets the photographer do all the work while he sits back and says, that's good or that's not good. I think they could've hired a hobo off the street for much less money for that job. Also, the male model was the judge. Really? That guy's boring too and not good looking enough to make up for how boring he is. Anyway, there was judging and critique and...the girl who didn't get a makeover won for not even looking like herself at all. Of course a girl went home and I couldn't tell you who if my life depended on it cuz a lot of those girls look alike. I think it was the black girl who got rid of the braids. Bye! Nobody will remember you next week anyway.
Well, that's about it. The stupid primaries are over. God, what a lotta hot air. The Dems criticized the Reps for not having different races at their convention. Maybe they were there but they don't point their differentness out. Maybe the minorities were resting at home because they have jobs they were tired from. Maybe they acted just like the white people and weren't noticed. Hmmm... Shove it w/ that minority racial difference crap. As for Obama promising to bring jobs and a better America. Well, you had 4 years, Dude. What were you doing, picking your ass? That's a nice work ethic. You're not really going to do your job until the last hours of the day? Whatever. All I know is, our country can't survive another stimulus package and bailout. Ok, I'm getting off the soapbox.
The Fall premier season is coming soon and I can't wait! Woo hoo! Until next time people, stay tuned.
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