Cooking, Racing and More

Hello TV fans.  I know the summer has been mostly full of re-runs but there is fun stuff.  Let me get to it.

I'm sorry to say, I haven't kept up w/ America's Got Talent because, well, I'm kind of tired of talent shows.  A singer usually wins anyway.  Except for Terry Fator, I haven't seen any winners in Vegas.

I'd like to apologize to Pop-A-Waffle on the Great Food Truck Race.  I said last week they went and it wasn't them.  I was totally wrong.  It was the Pizza Mike's truck.  Okay so this week the trucks went to Fayetteville, Arkansas.  The first challenge was a huge commercial for a certain breakfast toaster pastry.  The teams had to make a dish w/ them to be judged by a college student.  It was interesting w/ the Koreans really scratching their heads wondering what to make.  The Jersey girls of Nonna's Kitchenette used the pastry's as the coating for french toast and won the prize which was a huge scary mounted ugly razorback pig head.  But it was worth money in the till so they were happy to receive it.  Then the trucks had to just sell.  The Alaskans proved they left their brains in the last city cuz they planned on serving tacos and failed to buy tortillas.  If they actually made their own tortillas, they'd make a lot more money and sell more too.  Then when they went to park, they opened their awning and then backed up knocking over a streetlight w/ the awning.  OMG, these ladies are sooo blonde. So blah blah blah, sell, cook, sell, listen to redneck accents in the end, the Jersey girls won by making the most money and the southern black people went home.  Bye!

Hell's Kitchen had it's finale.  It was between Christina and Justin.  Poor Justin, he had the laziest piece of ugly fat on his team called Clemenza.  Not only that, Clemenza has some kind of ego and even menu planning was a hassle.  Personally, I'd have punched him in the face and used the rest of the team to help me throw his fat ass out on the street.  Justin's a lot nicer than I am.  Anyway, after the planning, it was time to cook for the customers.  Christina had to deal w/ Robin messing up and then blaming it on others.  Dana suddenly thought she had the say in the kitchen and would argue about the quality of the food contradicting Christina's critique of the food.  Christina did a good job of not letting her chefs roll over her.  Meanwhile, Justin seemed a little timid.  Clemenza was shoveling out his usual sloppy cooking and Ramsay had to encourage Justin to get some balls and tell Clemenza he was sucking big time.  You could see how much Ramsay wanted to kick Clemenza's ass.  Barbie was having a bad night on the meat station that she is usually very good on but those ribeyes must've been cut thinner than usual.  Of course Brian was there to lighten the load and the mood.  Sooo...everyone did get fed and the usual behind the door thing happened.  Christina stepped through the winner's door.  Congrats girl!  She really deserved it.

MasterChef had it's finale too and it was between blind Christine and big nostrils Josh.  They just had to cook their own 3 course dinner for the judges while the ousted cooks watched.  It was as exciting to watch as fat ladies at water aerobics.  Josh made a southern style dinner but tried to make it look fancy.  Christine made Asian food.  As usual, the judges tasted and raved and dissed this and that blah blah blah and in the end, Christine won.  Yay!  I think it's amazing she made it through the competition w/ only cutting herself once.  I'm just glad we don't have to look up Josh's huge nostrils during any future promotionals.  Is it just me or does this show get more boring every year?  I think it's because the cooking challenges are the same every year.

Face Off had a cool challenge.  The artists had to take an Alice in Wonderland character and make them zombie.  Or make them look like they were in the movie that had that flesh eating virus.  I am always amazed by the work done.  They even made body prosthetics and props.  Then they have to make a costume too.  Those designers on Project Runway should really shut up.  The one thing I notice is, the artists are very self aware and critical of themselves.  One girl just had a really bad day.  I always say, you need some luck in these competition shows.  Because molds and prosthetics have to have time to dry, timing is really critical so if an artist falls behind, they really feel it.  Anyway, all the looks were really cool but the one older guy w/ the hat seemed to not make his look gory enough.  One look had it's character w/ a mouth that didn't open and shut.  The judges really hate that.  I liked the queen that was modeled by a guy.  Also, the models this season are really good at working w/ the makeup and putting some life into it.  Unfortunately, the girl that had the bad day; well, her day got worse cuz she was given the boot.  Finally, Roy won.  He always makes a whole body makeup prosthetic thing and was ending up the runner up every time.  This time, he got his kudos.  Yay!

Top Chef Masters was down to 4: Chris, Patricia, Kerry and Lorena.  The quickfire entailed a different cooking challenge.  They split the kitchen into 2 sides.  One side had the stoves, ovens and prep table and the other had the pantry, small equipment and refrigerators.  The chefs were doubled up into 2 teams w/ Chris and Patricia together and Lorena and Kerry together.  The catch was, the chefs had to stay on their own side of the kitchen and make their own dishes while depending on the other chef to cook for them or get stuff for them as the case may be.  Chris and Patricia worked very well together.  Poor Lorena.  Kerry has proven to be a selfish chef thinking only of doing his own dish well w/ no regard to anyone else's.  He also swamped Patricia's boat during that Thai restaurant challenge.  If Lorena would've had a better memory, she would've made a  ceviche and not had Kerry cook anything for her but nope and Kerry literally put her food on the back burner and didn't get it done.  This time he didn't look sorry about it.  The funniest part was, the win didn't depend on both dishes and since Kerry's dish was judged best, the team won.  Okay, so they won moolah for their charities.  For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to make a 3 item picnic basket family style thing for dinner en blanc which is some French thing w/ people coming together for free food.  Sounds like a church potluck dinner but it's made fancy w/ people all dressed in white and drinking wine.  Whatever.  It's still a bunch of moochers and French food is basically a small pile of crap covered w/ a fancy sauce.  The food all had to be served cold because it was cooked the night before and then packed up.  Chris made a terrine w/ his usual animal innerds and some marinated mushroom thing.  Patricia tried to impress people w/ her world travel tales and made a 3 dish travel of Marco Polo.  The 3 dishes didn't seem to hang together and maybe they should've played that Marco Polo game.  Marco!  Polo!  Also, one of her dishes she wished had been served warm.  Ew...  Kerry tried to impress a table of people by speaking French and was met w/ totally blank looks.  I LOL at that.  He made a cold soup and something else but he was smart cuz he also passed around baguettes.  Lorena couldn't let go her Latin cooking and made a sweet chicken salad and a chocolate chile mousse.  Unfortunately, her mousse deflated overnight but it must've tasted amazing cuz a few ladies had their faces stuck in the container.  In the end, the judges raved and raved over Kerry's food and Chris won.  Huh?  He aced it w/ his terrine.  Then the judges totally dissed Lorena's food and Patricia was sent home.  Huh?  It must've been opposite day.  Anyway, Patricia wasn't that upset to be sent home.  I think she was just so darn tired and worn out.  Bye Patricia!  Get a good sleep.

Project Runway had it's make your own patterned material challenge.  I still miss the models being chosen but they don't even tell their names so they must not matter anymore and nobody gets to dump their model if she's terrible.  I have to say, some have some really crappy walks.  Sooo...the show brought in significant others or some family member to give history and inspiration to the designers.  OMG, I hate when they bring in the "loved ones" cuz it usually means a lot of tears and hugging which eats up the time.  Ven's material was white w/ big pink hibiscus flowers on it but the flowers looked really gradeschool drawn.  Gunnar's depicted his escape from a life of harsh bullying w/ skeletal hands w/ a hazy dove flying between them.  Unfortunately, the print was too small and hazy and from afar, it looked like pencil smudges and houndstoothy.  Dimtry had a cool print but it was a little loud.  He was very smart to use a little of it in his dress and as usual, he made a really cool and well fitted dress but w/ a jacket this time.  Melissa's print was some red flowery thing.  Fabio's was boring cuz I didn't remember it. Sonjia's wasn't that interesting either.  Elena's was blue and yellow depicting the Ukrainian flag colors and...well who cares?  For once, the judges hated Ven's dress.  What's w/ him and flowers?  He must've been an old lady in his past life.  Elena let go her big shoulder thing and actually made something kind of cute.  Finally!  Dimtry won.  Yay!  Poor Gunnar.  I didn't think his dress was bad but the judges did and he was sent home.  Awww...bye Gunnar.  You know you're a nicer guy than the show showed.  I like ya.

America's Next Top Model continues to be boring.  The girls aren't liking socially awkward Victoria but she is really strange.  She really needs to shut up about her mother all of the time.  So this time the girls had to do some outlandish character acting while walking down Hollywood Blvd or something.  They had Tyler Perry and Tyra feeding them lines.  The whole thing was really dumb but showed who would give it their all for the prize.  The tall black pretty diva who portrayed a diva won.  Ooh, big surprise.  For the prize, she got a walk on role in Perry's next movie.  BFD.  The girls were excited but walk on means just that.  She'll be practically unrecognizable and in the background for 1 second.  For the photoshoot, the girls were zombies.  Weird.  The whole house was offended by that white blonde diva who liked to pick fights.  She had a bad shoot because she didn't take any advice.  The shoot director isn't as aggressive as Mr. Jay so the girls kind of disregard him.  I've found the shoots very weak this season.  Sooo...as usual, one girl won and Destiny (short haired black girl) found her destiny wasn't to be the next top model and was sent home.  Bye!  Now you can smack that white girl cuz you're off the show anyway.

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders:  Making the Team had it's very first show of the season.  I love this.  They did a good job of showing the really crappy dancers, the fat girls who were delusional, and the clumsy girls who we loved to laugh at.  Then they did interviews and a lot of the new girls turned out to be cheerleaders from other pro teams like the Rams, Jets, Tigers and such. Then they whittled out the no chance in hell girls from the real tryout girls.  Then they made them all dance on the field w/ the vets too.  There were comments about weight gain and untoned bodies for the vets.  Hmmm...  Then they had them do their individual dances which were interesting.  Finally, the bootcamp invites were named and people were surprised at the vets left out.  Cassie Tramell had a huge knee injury and still made the bootcamp.  Really?  I guess it doesn't hurt when her mother is one of the directors of the cheerleaders.  You could kind of tell Kelly wasn't too cool w/ it but she has to work w/ her mother and probably doesn't want that tension.  Judy kept saying she's had surgery and is healing well.  Do they know that she'll have a bigger chance of blowing out that knee again?  Oh well. 


Well, that's about it for the reality shows.  I'm kind of sad cuz the sitcoms on TV Land and ABC Family are on hiatus.  Until then, we'll enjoy these shows.  See ya next time folks.  Stay tuned!