More Mayhem

Well, well, well, a few twists and turns and other stuff.

Dancing With the Stars is so insignificant the participants are forgetting to vote for themselves. Whatever. The big story is Erin and Maks' hot and heavy romance. I think he's just really co-dependant and she's boring as hell. The dancers did the Argentine Tango and Samba and then swing dance or something that resembled it. Of course the ringers stayed at the top. Whatever. Jake the bachelor pilot was booted cuz nobody cared who he was. I repeat, he's not that good looking out of uniform and they kept showing his birdfaced homely girlfriend. Eyech, time to go home. There have been plenty of stumbles on the show, we just didn't like him. I do have to say, the producers made the most boring elimination show ever. There was no fun or humor and that's what saved it from being an old fogey affair. Zzzzzz... Later on Jimmy Kimmel, I give kudos to Kimmel for making Jake have some personality and finding humor in the most boring guy on earth. When they threw the dance shoes in the fire, I was wishing Jake was in them.


The crying fatties had a fun week. They had a room that they ate all their meals in. The good part? They didn't have to cook. The bad part? It not only had healthy food in it, it had all the bad junk food too. I love the point when the fatties actually get nauseated by eating too much or eating junky food that you know they shoved in by the ton in their old lives. The Samoan brothers are showing they're no dummies. Colie decided he'd do the eating cuz the person who consumed the most calories in a day would get the only vote at elimination. Boy did this guy eat and...he enjoyed it. Victoria was sent home after sharing the bottom with Michael. The original fatties have bonded so it was no surprise that Colie cast his sole vote for her. She was boring anyway. Bye! Go back to your stupid crying Mama who begged you back into the game when you totally didn't deserve it. I found Victoria really irritating cuz she seemed like a 12 yr old in an adult body. Ick.

This week on Top Chef Masters, it was the lucky losers from last season. What a group from Wylie Dufresne to Jonathan Waxman with Rick Moonen, Ludo Lefebre and a couple of others. It was totally impressive and hard to know who to root for. I loved Chef Waxman's laid back approach. When everybody was running around making complicated dishes, he cooked tasty but simple dishes and had time to drink his cocktails and watch everybody else run around. Ludo was so French, he couldn't make pub food if he tried. He still had his French arrogance that really got under the other chefs' skins. I was disappointed that Chef Dufresne didn't use his molecular gastronomy but oh well. In the end, Chef Waxman won and Rick Moonen joined him for the champions round. I missed James Oseland but I'm sure he has a real life. Chef Lefebre has declared he'll be back for next season. I just hope he showers before that. He looks homeless and that's not appetizing at all.

Survivor finally had the merge. We first got to see Russell and his gang chuckling over the stupidity of the Heroes. If I didn't hate Parvati before, I do now; even more than Russell and I hope he hands her ass to her on a platter. So the teams merged and there was no reward challenge. The only Hero who seemed to realize he was in a game was Colby. The more JT talked, the dumber he seemed. "He swore on his children's lives. I know I can trust him." We got footage of Parvati and her fellow bucked toothed crony helping themselves to the bananas and boy, they must be a rare thing cuz it irked the Heroes. Umm...you guys do know you can't just save them forever and you are on a tropical island. Jeez. I'd be more mad about the fact that people sit around on their fat asses instead of fishing or crabbing or gathering some kind of protein. For the immunity challenge, it was the old; Who can stay on a notched pole the longest? There must've been a rule that they couldn't climb to the very top cuz nobody roosted on top. The Heroes fell one by one and Candace seemed to have it in the bag and then just gave up cuz she felt like it. Huh? At tribal council, Jeff asked his stupid obvious questions except the one we all want to know. Jeez Danielle and Parvati, didn't they have braces when you were little? Your teeth enter the council area a half an hour before you do. Okay, I digress. So the Heroes were smugly smiling thinking they had a clever plan voting for Jerri and making Parvati think she was going. After the voting, Parvati promptly gave on immunity idol to Sandra and one to Jerri thus protecting the open people because Danielle earned immunity from the challenge. I loved the look of total puzzled surprise from JT who was voted out. Here's a lesson JT, just cuz the guy's from your neck of the woods doesn't mean he's not a snake. Next time Heroes, stick with the game and give the immunity challenge your best try. I was totally disgusted.

America's Next Top Model may be the next series to be cancelled. It's so totally boring and inane. I thought that mom/model was gone awhile ago. They're kind of starting to look alike. Anyway, the girls had a runway thing and then had a photoshoot that was kind of creepy. They wore outfits made of human hair. It wasn't even sleek human hair. Some of it looked like something they shaved off of Grizzly Adams. Ick. One great moment in the show was when Alaysia was late and the other girls didn't wait for her. She tried to say nobody said anything to her that they were going. Okay, first, you're in a house of girls running around getting ready. Doesn't it give you clue that maybe you should do the same? Second, this isn't your family and nobody's really expected to look after the baby. Third, Raina did give you a 4 minute warning and you didn't hurry up. Not only would I have left her but I think I would've blocked the door so she couldn't get out of the apartment either. So anyway, blah blah blah, Ansleigh was sent home. At least I think that's her name. You know, the mom/model. And...another white girl bites the dust and...nobody cares.

RR/RW Challenge: Fresh Meat 2 was rather interesting. There's definitely a Wes side and a Kenny side. Wes is proving he's not the dick this season and Kenny...well when is Kenny not a dick? For the challenge, the couples had to make their way across a suspended bunch of what the host said was logs. Logs? Those were huge knobbly branches. Ironically, Kenny and his partner had to go first and they still did it fastest. Evelyn and her partner were paired against Paula and her partner for the elimination. Schaudenfreude really kicked in when Paula screamed after hearing the horn that signaled the other team had crossed the finish line. Yay! I've hated Paula every season. She's skanky, horse faced and cries when she doesn't get her way. Ew, grow up. Now the majority of the house is in Wes' hands. Yay! I love to see Kenny squirm. He's going to have to win every challenge from now on.

The food Channel is having some kind of boring old ladyish cooking competition called Ultimate Recipe Challenge. Whatever. The contestants are the whitest, slow people you've ever met and you expect half of them to drag their knuckles on the ground when they go up to the judges to present their dishes. Nothing's really new and the people can't seem to do the simplest things. The judges look just as bored as the viewers. The only bright spot is Guy Fieri who injects a little humor sometimes. He needs to do more. I love when he kind of disses a dish. One time, they offered him a taste of a gross looking dish and he said, "No thank you." Hee hee hee

I have found The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family are really good in repeated re-runs. I miss original episodes but at least they're on.

Law and Order: CI lost it's main original characters but proved it's all about good writing. Goldblum is doing a great job keeping it intelligent, quirky and funny. One thing you'll always notice on the Law & Order shows; they eat and it's fun to see.

Okay so on the Amazing Race the racers went to China. The gay bros and detectives were unfortunate in getting cabdrivers who didn't understand English. The cowboys amazed us once again by showing they can just about handle any challenge thrown at them. I think the main thing is, they just try their best and keep at it until it's done. I loved the teeny midget with the cigarette that looked like a cigar in his mouth. One cowboy, Jet, quipped, "It proves smoking does stunt your growth." Then the teams had a detour and then another roadblock. The cowboys hit the mat first and the detectives got to the mat last and were going to take the loss with stiff upper lips. I loved the one detective, "Why can't they give us a task like kicking in doors or chasing crackheads?" LOL! Fortunately for them, it turned out to be a non-elimination leg and everybody was happy. I love these NY detectives. They somehow do remind me of those Law & Order cops.

The Celebrity Apprentice finally had a money raising task but they combined it with a conceptual thing too. First, we had to watch the winning team leader, Cindy Lauper give the check to the ASPCA. At least there weren't any kids. Then Trump took the opportunity to have his whole freakin' family on TV except Tiffany. The teams were mixed up to be co-ed. The task was for 24 hour fitness. The teams first had to make a work-out routine and then get participating donations. There would be a concept win and a winner of who raised the most money. I loved the concept of the team of Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne and Maria Kanellis. It was hilarious and different and looked like you could do it if you weren't a gym rat. In the end, Osbourne's team won the concept but Robinson-Peete's team won the money raising. Because there have been so many drop outs this season, Trump didn't fire anyone this episode. When you're contracted to a certain number of episodes, it's kind of expected and now was a good time to do it cuz everybody on the show now, wants to be there. The best part of the show? Watching Sharon Osbourne flick her whip at people who were working out. How hilariously wicked was that?

Okay, that's it and it's been an enjoyable week. See ya next time people!