Oh Those Summer Shows

Hells Kitchen is having a good season. It seems most of the chefs can actually cook and the ones who can't really stick out like sore thumbs. This week Benjamin's working with the women and seems to be leading them well. That's because he can actually do what he asks people to do. It was a double episode again. The first one the chefs were going to cook for an old couple's anniversary celebration so they had to make dishes for them first, for the reward challenge. I'm thinking, throw everything into the blender so the old couple won't think anything's tough. The teams had to do versions of the couple's dishes from their wedding. OMG, talk about the most white bread dishes: chicken kiev, steak diane, trout almondine. In the end, the women won. What did they win? Lunch at a 50's diner. Oh boy! That was pretty freakin' lame. I would've probably opted to get more sleep. At dinner service, it didn't go too bad. The red team were determined to be the losers but the real loser was the little Italian chef because even though his team won, he was booted anyway. I think Chef Ramsay really lost respect for him when he found out he didn't go to school. It's free in the USA, why wouldn't you go to school? For the 2nd episode's reward challenge, the chefs had to make signature sandwiches. Siobhan proved she's not only homely as a cement wall, but she's pretty stupid too. Benjamin had no respect for her and when they had to have someone sit out the judging, he voted her sandwich out after just looking at it and of course the whole team went with it. Fran had a soggy sandwich and the women lost. What did the men win? They took a private jet to a winery and had a bit too much vino during the tasting, while the women prepped both kitchens. There must be someone watching over everything because wouldn't that be a good time to sabotage the blue team's ingredients? The blue team came home half drunk and then finished themselves off by drinking more. Ed bared all in the hot tub. Darn that fuzzing out censoring. Anyway, the dinner service was so bad, Ramsay threw everybody out of the kitchen. One dumbass diner brought his undercooked steak up to the pass himself to complain and said, "I could've been poisoned." Ramsay pointed out that some people actually eat steak raw. Way to show your stupidity on national tv you ignorant putz. The blue team sunk themselves by being hungover. It's interesting to watch hungover chefs cook. It explains a lot of things that happen in restaurants. Ed, Fran and Siobhan were put up for the boot. Finally, Siobhan was booted. It's about time cuz she's been the albatross of the team since the beginning.

America's Got Talent has had an interesting season. I don't agree with the judges letting old people go on to Vegas just because they have spunk. I don't care to watch the gimpy old lady whistling through her hands again even though she did it pretty well. I also think that singing old lady was truly horrible and her story was just pathetic. So people are able to make it through with a pathetic story? Whatever. I don't give a rat's ass about their pathetic lives and Piers should never back down just because he feels sorry for them. So this week, we should be in Vegas and maybe the judges will face reality and boot some of the dumb stuff they let go through. What are they going to say? We let you get this far but you truly don't have talent. We just felt sorry for you and thought you should see Vegas before you die; so bye now. Uh huh.

So You Think You Can Dance is going to have a very short season. The dancers all did really well but the people who haven't trained in everything really stick out. That tap dancer girl did her ballroom dance so flatfooted and wooden, it looked like Pasha was carrying a mannequin around the stage. She was terribly out of rhythm too which is very strange since tap dancing is all about being on the count precisely. I'm thinking, she's not had official tap dancing classes and just learned from watching Shirley Temple movies. In any case, America was right in not giving her the votes and she was booted. The problem is, these dancers are quite uninteresting and we don't really care who goes.

Top Chef had it's chefs make pies for the quickfire. First we had to listen to almost all of them declare they weren't pastry chefs. Does this mean they don't make any pot pies or anything in a crust? When they're in culinary school, they learn a little of everything. So...whatever. I loved the judge telling them, "My grandmother isn't a pastry chef either but she can make a pie." That shut them up. The thing about pie dough is, you can really make it from how it feels and it doesn't require complicated ingredients. It was surprising how ugly some of the pies turned out. Kenny won this one. I was surprised nobody made any deep fried pies since the ovens were really being over worked. Usually, I don't like fruit pies but the deep fried ones they make in the South are really good. For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to grill outside for interns. These chefs are really quite lame and can't seem to work with common cooking things like grinders and grills. This season should be called Excuses, Excuses. What a bunch of freakin' whiners. Hello chefs. Your job is to make it work, so shut up and do it. You can see deep disappointment on Chef Colicchio's face during the show. I'm getting tired of the government angle on this season. How about the fact that they're in Maryland? Why don't they make them make signature crabcakes? Whatever.

Work of Art had a really creepy episode. The artists first toured an art gallery showing an artist's work. His thing? His art is shocking and thought provoking. When I found out the crucifix was photographed in a tank of urine, I was grossed out. So the artists had to do shocking and thought provoking art. Most of them thought this meant something sexual. I'm thinking there was a lot of molestation in their childhoods, cuz...eeek. From the crazy guy with dirty hair who did an self crossdressed S&M picture to the guy who painted a guy blowing himself to the girl who photographed herself naked again to Myles ejaculating on his drawing. Double ick! I was glad to see Abdi won cuz his art had nothing to do with sex but was really good and thought provoking indeed. She wasn't an artist; she was just weird. It was a double elimination and the sweet Christian mid-western looking lady was booted. I thought her rendition of a messed up bunch of people grouped to look like the Last Supper was quite good. I guess that proves I don't know art. The guy who won last week and did the painting of the guy blowing himself was booted too. Maybe I do know a little art. I wish that fat lady who put herself in her art would've been booted. Her thing was gross and stupid. She had a homeless cardboard box shelter, sat in front of it wrapped in plastic and looked like she was spreading her poo on her belly. Triple ick!!! She's not an artist. She's just icky weird.

I watched a little Design Star and it seems to be a run of the mill elimination competition show. I don't understand good design so I think it's very subjective. It seems the kiss of death is not finishing your project.

Okay, so that's about it for now. I see The Closer is returning and I can't wait. I just hope they do more than 4 shows for the season.

Bye for now!