Stop The Madness! Oh, They Already Did.

Well, reality tv season is coming to an end but we always know more's on the horizone.

I love Skating With the Stars. These people are tough. They get run over, get dropped, go splat, fall flat and contract stomach flu and just keep going. I'm impressed. Last week, it was revealed that even though the disney guy didn't even compete, he still won the most call-in votes from the last week. He tried to do the practices but looked like death warmed over the whole time. He finally bowed out and we're left w/ 3: Johnny Mosely, Rebecca Buddig and that dumb New York housewife. I miss Vince Neal. For a rock star, he was really humble and low key and really did try his hardest. I'm also impressed that the pro ladies let the guys pick them up while on skates. I could really do w/out Tanith Belbin promoting her stuff all of the time. I still love Dick Button and will be sorry to see the show end so soon. As for Johnny Weir-d, he makes the show...colorful.

On The Fashion Show, the teams had to make gowns for the Housewives. Ugh. I really didn't need to see these bimbos on another show. I loved the designers gawking at the women, like kids at a zoo watching monkeys groom each other. There's a combination of interest and disgust. Anyway, the House of Emerald got to choose their housewives first. They chose the Orange County and the House of Nami got the one's from New Jersey. Oh boy! The looks were interesting. One housewife didn't like her high neckline and the designer finally cut it so low it was scandalous and no longer fashionable. The Jersey women bickered. Calvin gave everybody hell. After 10 minutes w/ the women, he was totally over them. Anyway, the judges proved the women had no taste because they hated the dresses the women loved and the one woman who let her designer do his thing; that designer won. The House of Nami won. Unfortunately, the House of Emerald chose really drab colors. Yes, champagne is a drab color. Finally, Golnessa was sent home. She hasn't put out a good dress yet and I doubt she ever will. Maybe she can't see with those fish eyes she has.

Survivor had it's final week and just went all out w/ the last 6 contestants. You can't have a season w/out bringing family members. The survivors had a luxury challenge that involved them retrieving bags of puzzle pieces then their family members had to put the puzzle together. Chase's mother won. Once again, Chase had promised to take someone on the prize and he didn't. Whatever. The prize was to eat lunch on a boat. Nobody really cared where it went. The family members didn't seem to eat. Actually, they didn't even sit at the lunch table but when the other people at the table look and smell like cave people. Can you blame them? Back at camp, Judd (aka Fabio), Jane and Dan commiserated w/ Judd actually crying. Jane didn't say much, but you could see the steam rising off of her head. Surprisingly, Judd wins the immunity challenge that involves putting a puzzle together. Afterward, it seems Chase is in the kowtowing mood and goes to Judd. He asks who he wants to vote out and Judd wants Jane out. Now I'm seeing that Judd's not as dumb as he looks. Chase at least tells Jane she's under the gun. Before heading off to tribal council, Jane pours water on the fire which makes me LOL for a full 5 minutes. At tribal, Jane lets everybody (verbally) have it right between the eyes. Good thing she wasn't packing heat. Unfortunately, words won't save you and she was booted out. On Sunday, they did the finale. The final 5 don't get luxury challenges anymore. Judd wins the immunity again and this time, Dan's voted out. We all saw that coming. Nobody knows how to strategize to split the votes. Jeez. Finally, down to the final four and the final immunity challenge is balancing wonky coins on the end of a sword. Can they get any more hokey than that? Judd wins once more. Finally, a redeeming character and I don't hate him as much as I used to. All the other 3 are scrambling. Sash (what a gay name) lies through his chiclet teeth. Chase does his dimbulb redneck act and Holly's peeing her pants. It becomes an all male showdown when Holly is voted out. Finally the Jury gets to speak and the only one worth listening to was Jane. She let'em all have it. I like old women w/ spunk and she's got a lot of it. All I'm really grateful for is, I don't have to listen to Probst. Then they vote and Probst says some dumb thing and makes a big show about carrying off the vote jar to L.A. Whatever! In the studio, at least they don't try to fool us into thinking it's the same time by having the people wear similar clothes. Everybody looks healthier. Probst reads the votes and Judd wins. Yay! All I'm glad of is, Sash didn't get any. Then the rest of the survivors come in and I don't know why. They wasted all kinds of time letting honker speak and Chase strum his dumb gee-tar and spent exactly 3 minutes asking a couple questions of just a couple of the other booted survivors? Really? If I were one of those people, I'd say, "You dragged me all the way here for this?" At least we don't have to see them again. Next season promises to have a new twist to the game. I'm intrigued.

Top Chef: Allstars had a new twist on the mis en place relay. 4 teams of 4 had to prep 3 items. The first team to finish the prep hit a button that started the 15 minute clock and then had to make a dish with the prepped ingredients. As the clock ticked, the other teams had to keep working to finish their prep and then make their dish in the remaining time. I loved the reminiscing of past relay races. Remember Casey taking all day to chop her onions? Wow! I was impressed that even though the team of Angelo, Fabio, Mike I and Spike won the relay, they still didn't win the best dish and the prize of 5K each. Richard Blaise's team won. I really do think he's the one to beat this season as long as he can hold it together to the end. For the elimination, the teams each ate at a cool restaurant and then each chef had to make a dish inspired by that restaurant that would be deemed good enough to be put on the menu. Marcel's team ate at Wylie Dufresne's restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win but he didn't. Stephen ate at that high end Italian restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win but he didn't. Angelo's team ate at an Asian fusion restaurant and I thought he'd be a shoe in to win, but he didn't. Hmmm...are we seeing a pattern here? In the end, Hot head Asian Dale won over Wylie Dufresne with his egg dumpling dish that looked like a real sunny side up egg. The judges also said the broth tasted like buttered toast. Wow! This was a double elimination week. I think the producers figured somebody would either quit, get sick or punch someone by now but that didn't happen so they had to get rid of 2 people this week. Unfortunately, it was gay Dale and even gayer Stephen. Bye guys! See you at the reunion.

The Challenge: Cutthroat showed the last gulag and unfortunately, Derek lost. The bright side? Paula lost too. Whoo hoo! Bye bye horseface girl. The final challenge was of course the teams having to complete different tasks. Someone poisoned the grey team because all of a sudden Abe and Sara were puking their guts out. Abe was so dehydrated and electrolyte depleted, he babbled nonsense and couldn't sit up. Both ended up being driven away in ambulances. I'm sure if the grey team had been ahead of everybody, the producers would've made a big deal of not having the whole team together. The red team stayed in the lead the whole time. It was great to see Tori and Brad finally win a challenge for once. I was also glad to see Jenn didn't win and actually came in last. Sigh, there is justice in the world. See you guys next season!

The Cake Boss's baking contest is fun to watch. For the mini challenge, the bakers had to make cupcakes. I wasn't surprised the 2 ladies won who made cupcakes last week. I learned there's more to carrot cake than just putting carrots in the cake. Hmmm... For the elimination, the bakers had to work in teams. There were 3 teams. The theme was the Monopoly board game. The cake had to be at least 3 feet high and they had 11 hours to make it. That's really nice since on the Food Network Challenge, there's only 2 people and 8 hours. On the Ultimate Cake Off, there are teams of 4 but the cakes have to be 5 feet high and they get 8 hours. So anyway, I loved that feisty italian girl cuz that fat brooklyn guy was getting on my nerves too and I didn't have to work w/ him. I hate people who want to make up by just hugging it out. I'm usually thinking, get away from me before I poke your eyes out. The one team made a great cake but hit a snag when it wouldn't fit through the door. How funny is that? I was impressed that they could totally tip their cake and have it stay together. It was a bit creepy w/ the head coming out of the money bag. Anyway, they won and that fat annoying Brooklyn guy was given the option to quit and he did. I think he was going to get the boot anyway and he knew it.

One thing I love about Sarah Palin's Alaska is, she does the things that Alaskans do. They fish, eat off the land, camp out, row boats and generally love nature. Unfortunately, Kate Gosselin and her brood showed up. The bratty bunch was supposed to go camping with the Palins. I have to say, Mrs. Palin is always positive and upbeat. I kind of like that because really, if you try, you can accomplish anything. I hate Kate Gosselin more than ever. She was the biggest sourpuss party pooper I've ever seen. I didn't know if she was on the rag or showing her true colors. I've never thought of her as much fun but man, she was a total Debbie downer. She bitched about everything and anything the whole time she was in Alaska. I'll be surprised if her kids end up as normal adults. The kids took things really well eating the moose sausages, gathering firewood and making smores. The only one not enjoying the outdoorsy activities was Kate and actually, nobody enjoys her anyway. Earlier in the show, they were learning to shoot guns to scare bears away. She said she's shoot a bear to protect her children. I think the kids would be better off shooting her and going off with the bear. The best thing Kate did? She made Sarah Palin seem even cooler than ever. Maybe that's the lesson. It doesn't matter how cool you are. You just have to be cooler than the guy next to you.

Well, that's it for this week. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Quanzah or whatever you're celebrating. Have a great one! See you next time!