Poo On the Critics!

I hate the critics. They are so snobby and pretentious, they tend to want to think for the viewer. Well not this time. Not all shows are taking themselves seriously. Not all shows are like real life. Actually, not very many shows are like real life cuz real life is slow moving and boring.

Already, the critics are dissing Harry's Law. For one thing, this is a David E. Kelley show. They are always a bit outrageous w/ a lot of digging at the profession. In this terrible economic time, we're not in the mood for true to life dramas. We need to laugh at something and escape. Harry's Law is just the ticket. Kathy Bates plays an old crusty curmudgeon really well and she doesn't seem like just an old bitch either. It helps that she's not skinny. If she was, we'd probably think she was crabby from hunger. Brittany Snow does a good job not being a dumb blonde. She's perky but balances out the cynical Harry. There's a new lawyer and for once, not a person looking for a mentor. He's intelligent, confident and just looking for a new scene. I liked the pilot. Yes, it was kind of outrageous. I mean, who could come out of being landed on by a jumper and being hit by a car, totally unscathed? But it's quick, witty, fun and bright. I hope it survives. Just like The Defenders, it's something to take us out of this dreery world for just a short time and we don't have to write things down to keep track of what's going on week to week. It's just pure entertainment.

On Cake Boss: the Next Great Baker, the bakertestants had to make a cake for Chevrolet advertising a new car. What a hot mess! Meagan made a huge car shaped cake w/ tiny wheels but they did spin. Corina made half a car smushed into a sky colored wall. Dana made a car that looked kind of lumpy. Jay did as well and then perched his on a little cake. Brian's downfall was, he didn't use cake. His car was impressive but this is a baking competition so you need to have sponge somewhere. After Buddy checked out their work halfway through the day, he decided they all looked pretty bad and was going to need another criteria to judge. He made them make a dessert. Brian was just a mess in everything. He burned his cookie and the cake had no cake. This is someone who needs to do his work right the first time. Having to redo everything is wasteful of time and money. Anyway, Dana was again declared the winner and Brian was mercifully sent home. I can't take one more week of watching this doofus.

The crying fatties aka The Biggest Loser finally revealed the unknown trainers. Is it just me or have I seen these guys on other reality shows? Anyway, we got to see their sob stories. The first challenge was the fatties worked as teams. They had to balance an egg on an upside down frying pan and the person from each team who dropped their egg last won a cooking lesson w/ that Aussie chef from Celebrity Apprentice. The Unknowns came together and decided who was going to win before the game started. The main ranch players fought it out. I loved it cuz the unknowns threw their eggs over the barrier but they didn't hit anybody; shucks! I also liked that they weren't going to waste time playing the stupid game. Let's be grown up about this, huh? So the winners (2 women) watched the guy cook his meal for them and then they had to guess the calories in the meal. Really? I thought people who were food oriented and professional dieters knew the calorie count on everything. I guessed and I was closer. Anyway, the main ranch lady won the 2 pound advantage. So then we got to see them work out blah blah blah. The big challenge involved hauling water and dumping it into competitors' barrels. The main ranch people took a cue from the unknowns and decided on a winner before the competition so there wasn't any trash talk and everyone got along. The alone girl was chosen cuz she got the only vote at elimination. The weigh-in was really surprising. The one twin had told the group he was wanting to go home to his family. You could see he wasn't happy. Everyone knows you can't lose weight aggressively if you're not happy. At the weigh-in, the really fat fatty (Arthur), lost only 4 pounds. Oh come on! I know he's had poops that weighed more than 4 pounds. Then the twins stepped up last. I know they pre-weigh these people to line them up for the best effect. OMG, the twins not only didn't lose weight, but they each gained 9 pounds. Really? I smell self sabotage w/ crossed wires. I have a feeling they didn't intend to gain that much cuz that's just embarrassing but they wanted to be sure to be on the bottom. I love it that Bob and Jillian look totally mortified and embarrassed. Hee hee hee. Yeah, you can't make these people lose weight if they don't want to. So the twin who wanted to go home, went home. Bye! See you at the finale.

On The Fashion Show, the designers worked in their houses w/ only 2 in each. They had to do 3 looks each based on the elements: earth, wind and water. I was wondering why they didn't include fire but oh well. House of Emerald made clothes that were flowy, beautiful and colorful but not too bright. House of Nami was run by Calvin cuz Dominique was in no mood to fight. Their looks looked like homeless couture complete w/ barefoot models and no color either. I don't know what the judges were smoking, but they declared House of Nami the winner. Calvin made a maternal pregnancy dress. When someone did that on Project Runway, they were sent home. It was horrible and nobody would ever buy it. Dominique was declared the winner of the day and Caesar was sent home. I thought for sure he would make it to the end cuz his looks were brilliant. His only mistake was, on other challenges, to listen too much to the stupid client.

Top Chef Allstars had it's restaurant wars. For the quickfire, they were taken to Le Bernadin to watch a guy butcher fish. He made it look really easy. Then the chefs had to butcher the 2 fish (not easy ones either) in 10 minutes. The girls didn't do well w/ them all landing in the bottom w/ Fabio. Oh Fabio, you sadden me so. Then the top 4 chefs had to make a dish out of the fish scraps (bones, fins, heads and innards). Dale Talde is really impressive this season. He did the Asian thing and used a lot of different parts to make a great dish that probably could've fed the whole village. He won. One thing I notice, is. When Marcel gets fatigued, he gets more snarky and snide. Not flattering at all. Dale won immunity and was told to pick a person to lead the other team to make a restaurant. Oh boy! He made sure not to accidentally have Marcel on his team by making him the other team's leader. What a smart move. I don't understand how Carla was chosen last since she's been doing some awesome cooking. Dale lucked out w/ being able to have Richard Blaise and Fabio on his team. While Marcel's team (restaurant Etch) had trouble coming together and refining each other's dishes and service, Dale's team (restaurant Bodega) worked like a well oiled machine. They did pop-up restaurants which in kind of like eating in your neighbors back yard for a couple of weeks. It's very cost effective because restaurants usually do a lot of business at the very beginning and there's very low overhead. Kind of like having a food truck parked in your neighborhood for a period of time but you can sit down to eat. Anyway, Fabio was the perfect host and did a great job managing front of the house staff and logistics, mediating between front of the house and Dale about to blow his stack, and also made a great dessert. I thought he'd pull out the win for sure. Meanwhile, on Marcel's team, Tiffany was maniacally laughing in the front of the house, being very fake and the customers could tell something was up. The food fell below the mark cuz nobody was in the mood to take criticism so nobody tasted each other's dishes. I did notice Richard hopping across the barrier and tasting the food in Bodega's kitchen. They needed to critique each other's food. Lay off the salt, lay off the foam, that egg not only looks terrible but tastes bad too. At least that's what the judges said. So team Bodega was called in to the judges first and you could see Richard Blaise's face fall w/ disappointment. Yeah, Bodega was told they were the losers and I loved the change in their faces. They first stood there w/ confident smirks on their faces and when the announcement was made, it changed to angry and accusatory. They all laid into Marcel and you have to admit, he was a very poor leader cuz nobody had any respect for him. Then they went back and told Dale's team they had won. You could see, Fabio was the only one who hadn't crapped his pants during the wait. The team named Richard the technical advisor and he was declared the winner. Okay. I have a feeling there was some footage we didn't see cuz Richard didn't seem that impressive to me. Cocky Marcel was sent home and that's that for the 2nd season chefs.

Finally, on The Worst Cooks in America, the chefs were first challenged to make burgers. OMG, how funny? They really did show who had a palate and who didn't. This time Georg won. Anytime you put a cheese core in the burger, it's good as long as you cook it well. The kicker was, the winning team was able to trade a cook from the other team. Pat was sent to the red team and Kelsey was taken to the blue team. Then the cooks had to replicate a dish again. Ann made lamb chops and Robert made duck. I can't believe they trusted the cooks w/ a mandolin and I'm surprised we didn't see anybody slice their hand. Even pro chefs do that. In the end, the dishes weren't as bad as usual. Carlos and Kelly won and 2 women were sent home. One was Erica. I loved her quote, "Who would ever invent a pan that wasn't nonstick?" Um...pioneers? ha ha ha.

Well, that's all. Check out some of the new shows. I have to say, America's over the decadent shows that show people w/ stupidly wasteful expensive stuff. We're also over stupid comedy disguised as clever: 30 Rock, The Office, Parks and Recreation. Really? We're supposed to believe joe schmos are wearing Prada, Gucci and Calvin Klein? Whatever.

Stay tuned and see ya next time!