Catching Up

Ok, so I missed a week or so.  Guess what, I have a real life where I actually make a living.  This blog is going to be different.  I'm still going to go through my shows but since I missed keeping you up to date for a week, I'll do a run through.

The Amazing Race seems to like to stay in the same country for a couple of episodes.  It may be a sign of the economy because it's cheaper than purchasing those plane tickets every other day.  The racers show less fatigue too because they don't have to fight jet lag as much.  So far they've been in the Philippines and then Turkey.  They had one non-elimination leg which kept the goat farmers in the race.  I wish those guys would stop reminding us of their poor little lives trying to raise goats.  Then they mention they saved their town.  I'm not sure how that happened but whatever.  The Monster truck couple kept trying to go against the flow and got caught by it by taking a flight nobody else took.  Yeah, this time it wasn't in their favor.  I was hoping the Monster truck couple would be the only one in the next country for a few hours.  Oh well.  Needless to say, even though the goat farmers had a speed bump to do, the Monster truck couple still came in last and were out of the race.  That time, it was kind of hard for the editors to make the end a mystery as to who came in last.  The goat farmers and the Monster truck couple did the same delivering baked goods detour.  The goat farmers were finishing up when the Monster truck couple were starting.  Yep, no mystery there.  Meanwhile, the other racers were hauling long bamboo.  It was hilarious w/ much whacking of people w/ the bamboo and many apologies.  In Turkey, some of the racers had a turkish bath that was the funniest thing to watch ever.  The twins are amazing in this race.  They've been doing some of the most physical tasks and doing great at them.  There seems to be some kind of grudge w/ the twins and one white couple toward the other white couple.  I finally figured out, the white couple who's not liked is the one that could win 2 mill if they win.  In the last episode, the teams went to Russia.  I loved how they complained about the cold more than the heat in the last legs.  Maybe it was editing.  This time the goat farmers and the unliked white couple got way behind because of a missed plane.  Oh boy!  I'm noticing there don't seem to be as many airlines and flights as other seasons but there are always plenty of seats.  Or so it seems.  Once again, the tasks weren't anything tourists would want to do.  It was hilarious to see the guys trying to do the synchronized swimming.  It reminded me of that Saturday Night Live sketch a long time ago.  Those Chippendales guys are getting cuter by the week.  They seem to be overcoming their meathead image w/ good senses of humor, niceness and gung ho spirit.  The long haired lawyer/rockers are in the crapper.  Their cab driver drove off w/ their belongings which included a guy's passport.  OMG!  The episode ended w/ no elimination.  We'll see what happens.  The race staying in countries longer may work to their advantage.

Face Off had an awesome ending.  The last 3 standing were Nicole, Laura and Derek.  They picked 2 past eliminated artists to make their teams and then they had to make a fantasy witch and demon.  But wait, the makeup really had to be well done because then those models participated in a stuntshow.  It was so cool but the makeups had to last through crashmats, punches, flipping, swinging on ropes and rolling on the ground.  OMG!  All I can say is, all the makeups were really cool.  Yes, we got the stupid sob stories about why each finalist thought they should win blah blah blah.  Michael Westmore showed up to critique the work the artists were doing.  It's always so cool to see him.  It's like a visit from the king.  They had a reunion show that basically asked everyone what their favorite challenge was which proved the fans were pretty unoriginal.  I'm still wondering if the artists knew the brothers were twins.  Finally, Nicole was declared the winner.  I kind of thought she had the edge w/ Roy on her team w/ his knowledge and experience.

Survivor finally had their merge and the blue tribe of 2 was able to glom back together.  Denise seems to be letting Malcolm lead her around.  The pattern for the challenges, so far, seems to be teams for the luxury and individual for elimination.  The first week of the merge, there was a female and a male winner.  The yellow team seems to be divided and the men of the red team still want Johnathan out.  There were a lot of candidates for the vote but none that I wanted.  Abi Maria is totally detestable and that sometimes means she'll go all the way to the end cuz everybody else knows they're less hated and more respected than she is.  At that first tribal w/ everyone, there were a lot of red herrings thrown around.  Lisa is finding more of a voice and Skupin looked like total weenie.  Johnathan wisely used his HII and RC was voted out.  How come nobody liked her?  Maybe it was her laugh cuz I found it totally annoying on the Ponderosa video.  Last week  Johnathan won the luxury challenge w/ some good people and the B team (bitches and bastards) were left to lay around and grouse at camp.  Hee hee hee.  Gawd, how I hate that Abi Maria and Pete's looking quite detestable too.  Johnathan felt the pressure and stated that he was going to win immunity.  Guess what?  He was right.  That guy's really good at puzzles.   Lisa's trying to run some of the game and it's working a little.  Pete tried to make her look like a liar but at tribal council, it was proved she was right and Pete's a liar.  Haw haw.  We'll see how that works in the next episodes.  Malcolm was put on the chopping block but he announced to everyone before the vote that he was going to use it that night.  He was really smart because that scared people into not voting for him and he didn't play it.  Abi Maria showed everyone her HII.  Now I know why Pete kisses her butt.  Jeff was totally blindsided and voted out.  Next, I hope that crosseyed rat faced blonde guy goes.  He's so homely, I can't hardly take it anymore.

Chef Race:  UK vs. USA headed West.  They had to do BBQ sauce and sell it.  The USA team was savy and sold to stores in cases.  The UK team charged more for their sauce and gave it a kick ass name.  Yep, they won and the USA team was whittled down to just 3 after the final cooking challenge.  Then they had to make pizzas and sell them.  Cody drove his team crazy w/ his laziness but they can't do anything about it as long as he cooks like a champ.   I was wary about the UK teams pizzas cuz they put their cheese on the pizzas in cubes.  Obviously, they didn't know how much Americans like cheese on their pizzas.  The USA team did a better job selling whole pies.  The UK team must be slow in moving the customers.  Maybe they need to stop chatting people up.  I never knew Brits were such yappers.  The USA team won and the UK team was down to 3 also. 

Project Runway Allstars has all the designers getting along but sniping about each other behind their backs.  This season, I find that Casanova is getting robbed.  I've been loving his designs and he hasn't won.  Anthony Ryan seems to be the judges' darling and he keeps making sheath dresses.  Whatever!  One challenge was using 70's type high heels for inspiration.  That ugly chick from the first season made a pre-teen hooker outfit and got the boot.  We found she and Suede bonded; Ew!  Good for them.  Last week the designers had to make graffiti designs.  The show tried to make it sound posh by calling it aerosol art.  Yeah right.  Does that include beehive hairdos and armpits too?  I don't know how Andrae survived this elimination cuz his outfit looked totally like circus clown on Meth.  In the end, Suede joined his BFF in the eliminated group.  I don't know why, but I'm really liking the judges.

America's Next Top Model took the girls to Jamaica.  Does Jamaica have fashion?  I think it was a cheap place to go to.  Leala is back and more fierce than ever.  The bitchy white girl got the boot finally and so did the skinny girl w/ the curly hair.  Laura runs hot and cold and Kiara seems to be getting better and better each week.  They did a shoot w/ the stupid perfume and one on horses.  I still hate the judges on either side of Tyra and that stupid You Tube ugly hippie looking guy keeps showing up.  Ick.  The show is more annoying than cool so I mostly watch it online so I can watch TV while I'm watching some of the show.

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are chosen so now we just get stuff like shooting the swimsuit calendar.  Those girls need some walking lessons.  They had a swimsuit fashion show and they either looked like little old ladies missing their walkers or horses and not in a good way.  I find it funny that Kellie Finglass is always saying she wants the girls to come off as All American classy but they barely have any clothes on in public.  I really liked the dietician going to the girls' homes and finding everything from candy to cookies to frozen chimichangas in the freezers.  Hilarious!  Then again, the dietician also gave them a hard time for frozen vegetables too.  Really?  Anyway,the show's not as interesting now that the competition is over.

CMT has a show called Red Neck Island.  I thought it would be something like Survivor.  It's not hard living at all.  The rednecks have an already built shelter, a bar, hammocks, luggage w/ clothes, an outhouse and food.  The only things they don't have are phones, tv's and computers.  The games are rednecky games which are funny to watch but dangerous to do.  They really need to put that, "Do not try this at home." warning on the screen.  I love the vote cuz they write names on cozies on beer cans and then put them in a cooler.  The lady who had told everyone she wanted to go home and then changed her mind was sent home.  Yeah.  Who wants to listen to that again next week?  Those rednecks aren't as dumb as they look.

Well, that's that.  I love this season because Hallmark and Lifetime have really cheesy holiday movies that make me cry like a baby.  Yep.  I'm a schmuck.  Until next time people, stay tuned.