Thursday, May 24, 2012

View and Review

Hello everybody!  I hope you're all enjoying the TV show offerings that the end of the season and start of summer brings.

The Celebrity Apprentice finally had it's finale.  You can tell Trump's ego had grown because the 2 hours seemed to have him onscreen more than half of the time.  Oh well.  It's his show.  So Arsenio Hall and Clay Aiken were in the middle of putting together their live show and PSA.  Arsenio about had a heart attack when he got his first footage of Magic Johnson's bit from the West coast but the LA crew showed this wasn't their first rodeo and had actually done a few takes at different angles.  It worked.  Okay, so it was showtime.  Arsenio's party was just that.  An industry party and it looked kind of boring but hey, AIDS is a serious thing.  Clay's party was a circus; literally.  There were jugglers, carnival booths and games, carnival food and a clown; oh wait.  No, it was just Aubrey O'Day looking just like Ronald McDonald.  Donald Trump made his appearance which isn't that big a deal considering we see him every 10 minutes throughout this whole show.  Aubrey tried to do some weird taking aside Trump to "show him something" but Clay wisely grabbed the reins on her and yanked hard.  WTF?  Was she really trying to take credit and tout herself when this wasn't her task at all?  Yo Aubrey.  Did you forget you were already fired?  The cool thing was, they dropped the middle wall/curtain between the parties to make one big room.  Wow!  I had no idea the parties were so close together.  Arsenio was first w/ his comedians.  His show is full of energy and laughs.  For those who were expecting family friendly got a surprise because most comedians are a little blue and Lisa Lampinelli is known for her brash potty mouth.  I'm sure the kids in that audience were learning some new and colorful words.  I liked Arsenio's PSA a lot.  It utilized the stars in his team and it was funny and brought out the theme of his charity w/out being depressing.  Clay's show was all music.  Debi Gibson tried to make it mostly about her but the audience really lit up when Dee Snyder started singing his Twisted Sister song.  Dee and Debi sang duet and they sounded really good together.  Clay ended the show as was expected.   His PSA was bright and colorful but kind of a Debbie Downer when you consider that the charity is about making disabled children happier and he was the only celeb in it.  So the rest of the show was all about the pseudo-boardroom.  The other celebs weree there and earlier in the show, we found Dyana was still steaming about her harsh treatment from Lisa.  Get over it woman.  Lisa's the only one who told you the truth to your face.  Everybody else talked behind your back.  Anyway, Arsenio and Clay treated everybody w/ a duet and I was surprised that Arsenio could sing so well.  Finally after a bit of this and that, Trump announced Arsenio as the winner. Yay!  I totally agree.  See you next season.

Next Food Network Star took it's teams to different parts of New York w/ signature styles.  Then each member of the team had to focus on one place in that area, cook a dish that represented it and then give a tourguide bit about it on a moving bus.  Okay.  I admire the people who just rolled w/ it.  Some people went to the place, learned about it and fit the food style into their style to make a tasty bit.  Some people groused about not knowing about that foodstyle and not knowing that place.  Oh shut up.  Do they think the stars that go and promote places on their shows actually really know them beforehand?  Not really.  Most of the time they get the notes from their production staff, plaster on a smile and just start rolling.  I really think this was a challenge for the judges to see who would be easy to work with in the business.  I'd like to break in right here again to tell the food network execs to get better makeup people.  Why do men's lips have to match their shirts? Everybody looked like a cross between circus clowns and funeral corpses.  Okay, back to the show.  Most everybody did pretty well.  On the bus, there was only one person who looked like she was going to hurl from carsickness.  That one guy w/ wild hair and eyes on Giada's team was really bad at his tourguide bit and that homey lady on Bobby's team was so boring, the bus driver almost fell asleep.   Also, nobody appreciated her whining that she didn't know how to make chicken and waffles.  Really?  You never made chicken or waffles?  The judges aren't giving any slack on the food and declared some dishes plain, some too simple, some uninventive and some bland.  Oh dear!  In the end Giada's team was declared the winners for the week.  The black guy w/ the bowties on Alton's team and that homey lady on Bobby's team had to make a Wow dish w/ potatoes and as usual, do a presentation of the dish on camera.  I like this format because we don't have to listen to all the good and bad about everybody and yet the bottom 2 have a chance to save themselves in case they just had a crappy day.  I was afraid the bowtie guy would get the boot due to his not making the focus of his dish out of potatoes but it must've tasted good and his on-camera presentation was really good.  The homey lady proved she wasn't just boring on the bus, she was just boring.  The judges made a good decision and booted her out.  Bye!  Hope to see you never lady.  She was the weak link on Bobby's team.

 America's Got Talent is still in the audition stages.  I'm a little disappointed in the producers for having too much back ground story and too little showing of the acts.  The good ones are only partially shown and they only seem to show a few of the bad ones.  Oh come on!  We know there are a ton of bad ones.  There are a ton of people who think they're talented and they're not.  I'm left wondering, what are they filling the time w/?  Oh yeah, they're allowing Nick Cannon to goof on stage and the commercials are extra long.  They also have instances w/ Howard Stern going onstage.  That's not good cuz he's slower than a geriatric snail and it takes at least 5 minutes for him to get out of his chair and make it onstage.  So maybe the show should be called Does America Have Talent?  You'll Never Know Cuz We're Not Showing It.  So far, some of the more memorable acts have been the rapping grannie, the earth harp, the muscular couple lifting each other gracefully, the singing nurse, New York comedian, the Asian all girl band and the big picture ventriloquist.  The judges liked the guy w/ the iron nuts and that old rapping (?) guy.  I wasn't that impressed.  I like that the judges aren't just letting kids through just because they're cute.  Some dumb mother sent her 7 year old son onto the stage to rap.  He was terrible.  He got buzzed by all three judges and then started to cry.  OMG!  At that point, they should've sent out his mother to pick him up, get the no's from the judges and carry the kid offstage.  Did they do that?  No.  Howard Stern showed he's a huge putz and changed his vote to yes but luckily Sharon and Howie kept their heads and sent the kid off.  That was a lot of time wasted on a kid w/ no talent.  I'm not sure how many more audition shows are left but I hope they show more acts than they have.  We love to see the buzzed acts and if they get buzzed quickly, they go by fast.

I finally got to see Off Their Rockers.  NBC said it was a hit.  I don't know if the NBC execs have actually watched the show.  It's old people pranking young people.  The problem is, the pranks are too short and seem more like pranks on the old people to show how senile and a menace to society they are.  The weird thing is the people they prank are usually laughing at the old people.  That's not good.  The only thing that keeps this show from being total crap is Betty White's little tidbits of comedy before and after commercial breaks.  She truly does have "it".  A hit?  I think NBC is going a bit senile.

I totally missed America's Ninja Warrior.  If it's like previously seen seasons on G4 channel, it's like Wipeout for athletes.  People try a difficult obstacle course and we're either grimacing, laughing, cheering or being totally amazed.  I'll make sure and see the next episode.

Modern Family had it's finale and what a finale. OMG, OMG, OMG!  Mitch and Cam went to get their baby from Calexico and it turned out to be a telenovela situation w/ no baby for them in the end.  Jay and Manny had to take care of Lily and take her to her dance recital where she got stage fright and it ended w/ Jay having to dance w/ her.  The funniest part of that story was Jay's answers to the endless Why? Why? from Lily.  I think there may be a contest as to who's date is more gay;  Alex's or Sue Heck's from The Middle?  The best part from that story was when the Dad takes pictures and says, "With flash." and the date does a total Glee pose.  Finally, I'm not going to give all the spoilers so is Hailey going to move in w/her boyfriend or go to college?  What is up w/ Gloria's carsickness?  This was a great finale because it really does make us want to tune in next season yet leaves us w/ a smile on our faces for the whole summer.

America's Next Top Model was another clip show so I didn't watch.

Around the World In 80 Plates went to Barcelona Spain.  This time the teams were determined by the first 5 people to get to a certain spot.  As it turned out, all the men except Nookie made it first.  Hello girls, take off your high heels before you start running.  I'm very surprised Keven/Cheven even made it there at all what w/ his poor navigational skills.  So the men's team were the red team and Nookie and the girls were the black team.  Then they had to go to another place where they had to break down fish and gather ink from squid, I think.  It looked like fish they were squeezing the ink from but I've never heard of fish w/ ink.  Anyway, the red team won.  They're exceptional ingredient turned out to be huge red prawns.  Then the teams went to the market.  It's interesting that the men seemed to drive each other more crazy than the women but Nookie became the leader of the group and ruled the roost very well.  Once again, Jenna and Keven couldn't shut up.  Chefs don't like know-it-alls either.  Then the chefs were shown at leisure.  I'm not sure where it was but if it was their temporary living quarters, it was quite posh and fancy.  Much wine drinking took place and we finally saw the chefs starting to try to form alliances.  I knew it would come to who liked who and I'm guessing the winner won't actually be the best chef.  So far, Chaz has been sailing through and he's terrible.  So on to the cooking.  Both teams had to share the same restaurant and kitchen at the same time so dishes were served head to head.  Even though Keven was supposed to be working front of house, he mostly cooked and bossed people in the kitchen.  Jenna did a good job schmoozing the guests and judges which also included Jose Andreas.  I love his accent and the way he says things.  He could say, "Big pile of poo." and make it sound sexy.  Chaz tried to make a ceviche and ended up w/ cat food.  I have never heard of anybody tenderizing fish.  What a freakin' idiot.  So I have finally figured out that when they interview the diners and they say they like one team, it's the other team that wins.  Okay!  Well the diners mostly said they liked the red team.  Guess who won; yep the black team.  When the group stands before Curtis and Cat, how come they have such a hard time acknowledging what dishes they cooked?  Everytime, they look like total weenies.  After some talk and smoke blowing, Keven was finally voted to go home.  Good, I was sick to death of his arrogance and seeing up his big nostrils.

I saw the list of cut shows.  I wasn't too surprised by some and quite surprised at others.  CSI is whittling down some of it's crop and Miami version is gone.  Harry's Law went off it's course and I'm sorry to see it go because I love Kathy Baker but I have to admit, when it changed, I didn't make it a priority viewing.  Those new female lead dramas were cut but probably suffered from too much sap.  Here's a clue.  People who want to see action and drama don't want to see sap.  People who want to see sap want only sap and will watch Lifetime or Hallmark Channel.  I have to admit, as soon as a show gets sappy, I switch the channel to see what else is on.  I'll give an example.  A policewoman finishes her day of tough interviews and running after bad guys and settles on her couch and hugs her child...Channel change.  We care not about her child and even less about her domestic life.  NBC needs to get a new focus group because they haven't been able to find a winner of a show since Law & Order: SVU.  It seems the reality shows are winning and the networks are giving in.

Well, that's all for now.  Shows I'm anticipating are:  The Closer, Melissa and Joey and Project Runway.  As for now, there's still stuff to see.  So until next time, stay tuned.






Friday, May 18, 2012

No Way! Yes Way!

Hello all.  More shows are wrapping up but some are on their way for the summer too.

Chuck Lorre had love in the air.  2 of his sitcoms ended w/ weddings.  I'm at that age where I cry at weddings.  Ugh!  Ya gotta admit though, the finales were fulfilling, satisfying and sweet.  Awww...  Two and a Half Men has worn out it's welcome.  We don't mind stupid kids, but we do mind stupid teenagers who should be growing up.  Could it be because we see so many of them in real life turn out to be those stupid adults who drive us up the wall and make us want to go postal on all of society? Please, please, please Mr. Lorre.  Don't put a baby on Mike and Molly.

Okay, let's get this blog going.

On The Celebrity Apprentice, we started out totally shocked that Lisa Lampinelli got the boot at the end of last week.  Then it was a real shocker when Aubrey was fired.  I have to say the interviews weren't totally clear about why they got the boot.  Did it come down to not raising much money?  Did it come down to being difficult to work w/?  Was it because the women had more losses compared to the men?  Maybe it was all 3.  Maybe something was said but I couldn't hear over all the cheering from the viewing audience.  I especially loved the look on Aubrey's face because nobody was more stunned than she.  So it was left to Arsenio Hall and Clay Aiken to do the last tasks.  They're told they have to make an event for their charity and a PSA.  First things first, they get to choose their teams from ousted celebs from the season.  I notice a few people missing:  Dyana, Lou, and that other Argentinian lady.  Arsenio chooses the funny people and Clay chooses musicians and Penn.  Clay gets last choice and gets stuck w/ Aubrey har har.  Yes folks, she really felt her comeuppance when she was chosen last over Teresa hee hee hee.  The rest of the show was as interesting as watching paint dry.  The next episode will be the finale; I hope.  I'm still surprised Trump didn't get his golf club into the show again.

Summer is officially kickstarted by the appearance of America's Got Talent.  This year Howard Stern (no not Anna Nicole Smith's ugly lawyer/fake husband) has taken the place of Piers Morgan.  Oh Boy!  I expected a crass, potty mouthed, idiot judge w/ no taste.  I was pleasantly surprised to find he wasn't that way at all.  For some odd reason, Howie Mandel has lost half his brain and enjoys some dumb acts.  Sharon Osbourne proves she's really good at judging music acts because if someone sings off key, she's right there w/ the buzzer.  I love that.  I hate American Idol because people who can't sing on key stay for the whole stupid season.  Anyway, the auditions are going to new cities and San Francisco is one strange town.  The people are a little creepy.  I hate the background stories on people because it makes them seem more pathetic than talented.  Who cares if they grew up poor, orphans, crippled or all 3?  Do they have talent?  No?  Then take your pitiful ass and get off the damn stage.  The backstories take up so much time, we don't hardly get to see any talent.  If they do show the talent, it's in short bits.  Hey producers!  You're wearing out my fast forward button.  I have to admit though, I usually only watch until it gets down to all singers and then I tune out.  Some year, I want the show to exclude all singing acts.  I think it would make a really unique show.  Meanwhile, I'm enjoying Howard Stern on the judging panel.  He's not nearly the A-hole I thought he was and he has more taste than I thought he had.

Fashion Star wrapped up it's season.  This show has been quite confusing but I enjoy the fact that the stores hate the stuff I like and like the stuff I hate.  I know nothing about fashion and am staying in my corner.  The last 3 designers standing are the little Philipino guy, the black men's fashion guy and that weird white woman w/ Gumby style hair.  They each have to make a line for each buyer.  I'm a terrible judge cuz I liked everything.  As usual, Jessica and Nicole just sound like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons and I always say, "Who the heck is that?" when that short bearded guy between them is talking.  Whatever.  Kara is announced the winner and that's that.  Boring!  I want that hour of my life back.

Survivor:  One World had it's last episode and finale.  If you all don't mind, I'll wrap up all of it.  So the final 5 are all women.  We get to see a lot of footage of each woman say how they deserve to be here.  Alicia, Kim and Chelsea declare themselves the runners of the game.  I'm thinking Kim's the only one who's not delusional.  I also thinking, at this point, unless Kim does something really stupid, she's probably a shoe in to win it all because she's the only one w/ a brain on the island.  Sabrina has a brain but it seems to be numb.  It seems the luxury train is over so there's only immunity challenges.  It consists of a lot of running, climbing and then putting a puzzle together.  The producers must see the survivors are eating well enough so the challenges are kind of tough for being late in the game.  Also, they're young so there's no jeopardy of some old person keeling over and dying from the exertion.  Kim wins.  There's a lot of plotting w/ Kim giving her nod of approval to everyone who suggests ideas to her.  At tribal we all feel the glee when Alicia gets the boot.  Yay!  Hmmm...maybe she wasn't running the game after all.  Yo, lady w/ the big buck teeth, frizzy hair and skanky swimsuit.  Get your stuff and get out!  Bye!  Her Ponderosa video was great because she got snubbed by her friends and there was a Kat fight.  Woo Hoo!  So finally Christina realizes she might not be going anywhere but out in this game cuz she's lost the coattails she was riding.  She has to be the most clueless Asian I've ever seen and I'm hoping people don't think we're that stupid.  Her blabbermouth announces to the group that she knows she's the next to go.  OMG!  Shut up!  The group gets to do that reminiscing of all ousted contestants thing.  It was totally stupid this time.  In the past, they usually showed a bit where the person was funny or cool.  We realized, none of the contestants were funny or cool.  I felt sorry for the producers.  When there's only stupid stuff on film, that's all you can show.  So on to the last challenge.  Usually, it's a challenge of endurance and will.  Not this time.  It's physical and of course Kim wins it.  I think everyone was surprised what the challenge was.  When the challenge is about speed, being Zen doesn't help much.  Finally tribal council convenes and Christina basically just lays down to die and she's voted out.  Bye you dumbass girl.  I've renamed you an abber-asian; an asian that's not normal.  So of course we see that breakfast reward for the final 3.  Tribal council is boring w/ everyone pretty much conceding Kim ruled.  At the finale, everyone's looking much healthier and nobody is surprised when Kim is shown to be the winner.  Even she wasn't surprised.  Then the show focused wayyyyy too much on revoltin' Colton.  I was hoping someone would punch him in the face.  We all LOL when Alicia said she got a lot of negative feedback for her bullying and mistreatment of Christina.  I hope her students are rolling over her toes w/ their wheelchairs and saying they didn't mean it.  Whatever!  Christina proved what a weanie she really was by hugging everybody.  So ends another season of Survivor.  See ya next season!  Are we ever going to have a season where people aren't eating coconut?

America's Next Top Model had it's go sees w/ the last 3 models.   Sophie won over everybody and Laura proved you need to know how to walk.  Bring on Miss J!  The photoshoot had the girls in a perfume bottle in a diaphanous dress for a perfume ad.  They said the demographic to sell to was young girls.  Someone forgot to tell Laura this was a commercial modeling shoot.  I have a feeling they won't use any of the photos in the real ad cuz everybody looked older and a little loony.  In the end, Annalise was sent home.  Huh?  I guess you can't have only UK girls in the finale when the show's name is America's Next Top Model.  Sigh...Tyra always gets her way.  Sophie should win this but I wonder if she can.  I'll miss Annalise.  She was so much fun.

Around the World in 80 Plates went to France;  Lyon to be specific.  I don't care for French food so I didn't envy the chefs at all.  They went by train w/ one group going first class.  On a train, that only means you get a semi real bed to sleep in and your own tiny bathroom.  You still have to find your own entertainment and walk to the dining car at mealtimes.  The teams are still black and red (no not skin color) but mixed up a little from last time.  I don't know how Cheven gets his team to drink his kool-aid all the time, but they follow him like sheep and...he gets them lost.  Yeah, he's proven he's got the navigational skill of Moses.  Of course, his team (black) gets to the first challenge last.  The first task is to ID cheeses.  Jenna declares herself a fromaggian but doesn't prove it.  The red team had a huge headstart so they finish first but lost the big lead.  For the next task, the teams have to herd sheep w/out touching them.  Sheep are stupid and timid.  Usually advancing on them w/ loud noise will do the trick to make them move.  The sheep prove to be smarter than the chefs and the task takes awhile.  Nookie declares Cheven, "As useful as a fart in a spacesuit."  Totally LOL!  I think that's giving him too much credit cuz at least the fart in the spacesuit can create a fire w/ a good spark.   The black team must've stowed Cheven in the trunk and got to the last task first which is wine tasting and IDing things in the wine.  OMG!  These chefs are so bogus!  I expected them to do the sniffing, swilling, slurping...y'know the usual oeniphiliac stuff.   Cheven proves he sucks at this too.  Nookie steps in and starts moving the bottles around and they finish the task before the other team shows up.  Haw haw...no wine for you.  The advantage ingredient is not an ingredient.  It's a French food lesson from a master French Chef who shows the black team the native dishes.  Jenna shows I know more French than she does and leads her team around the city pointing out the French foodie words she knows.  Whatever.  She's quite annoying.  Then Sai has to out annoying her by pointing out how Asian she is.  Shut up!  The teams do their dinner service.  I like the French people for being blunt about what they like and don't like.  Chaz proves why he was kicked out of the first round of Top Chef last season.  We get to look right up Cheven's nose again.  Hey cameraman!  Stop that!  We can see what he's thinking.  Sai makes a good Lyon Salad but takes forever to do it.  In the end, Sai is voted to go home.  Chefs don't mind if you're a little slow and they don't mind if you're a little annoying but if you're both, it's the kiss of death.  Bye!  We Asians aren't claiming her either.  Oy!

Well, that's about all for now.  I'd like to ask Kayak to stop showing that commercial cuz the ugly old guy is bad enough but when you give him demon eyes, it's too frightening.  I'm asking Priceline to make a new commercial already cuz that stupid nun is really annoying and it's not good when we start to hate a nun.

See you next time!  Stay tuned.





Saturday, May 12, 2012

Nearing Finish Lines

Hello everybody, it's an exciting yet sad time too.  The season for reality shows is wrapping up but you know how that goes.  More are coming up for the summer.  Ok, well, we may as well get to it.

On the Amazing Race, the finale went to Hawaii.  I love the last leg because racers are so glad to be in the States w/ everybody driving on the right side of the road and speaking English.  I've been calling the wonder team the Airforce guy and and wife but actually he's an Army pilot and wife.  First, we start w/ the final four teams in Japan.  For the Roadblock, someone has to participate in a Japanese gameshow and it's hilarious as usual.  Since it's the end of the race, there's little choice as to who has to do the last roadblock.  The divorced couple team and the border patrol guys seems to have better luck w/ the transportation because the other teams take the subway.  The Japanese Gameshow challenge is called Bring That Chicken Home.  A person runs on a treadmill to retrieve rubber chickens hanging in the air and then finally runs and jumps on the end to finish.  It's hilarious because they have that treadmill going at a quick pace.  The border patrol guys get there first and finish in good time.  The divorced couple have a very hard time of it due to Vanessa's sprained ankle but what a gal.  She cries, falls, cries, the treadmill is slowed way down for her and she finally guts it out w/ Ralph yelling at her to just quit and take the penalty.  Even though she does finish, the other teams come and go.  The detour is a choice between matching sushi and eating it to taking funny tourist pictures.  The only team to do the pictures is the Army guy and wife.  The other teams are starving and I have to admit, that sushi does look good.  I loved Art stuffing as much sushi in his mouth as he could while running out the door.  Of course, the Army guy and wife hit the mat first.  Unfortunately for the divorced couple, they come in last and are eliminated.  Vanessa may as well have just skipped the roadblock and saved a lot of wear and tear on her painful ankle.  As they walked away, I said, "I feel for ya girl."  Okay so on to the very last leg.  All the teams are on the same plane and the first task is to use an ascender to get to the top of a skyscraper and then reverse rappel down it.  The border patrol find a taxi driver who's not familiar w/ his territory.  That's not good.  Of course, the Army guy and wife are done w/ the task first.  The border patrol guys seem way behind.  Then they have a roadblock type task that has them shaving a bucket of ice from an ice block.  Okay.  Somehow at this point, the Army guy and wife find the wrong arrows pointing to a marked path, surf paddle to an island and find themselves at the finish line.  Here's where it gets weird.  They're told by Phil, "You have not done the roadblock."  OMG!  How embarrassing is that?  They head back to the surfpaddle boards.  Meanwhile, the border patrol guys have found the correct marked path to the roadblock.  Art, who has the worst sense of balance ever, finds himself unable to slide down a hill on a skinny sled.  Army guy and wife arrive to the correct place and of course, finish before border patrol.  Big Brother team does the same.  Poor Art, he sucks so much and the other half of his team tries to be supportive but they see their lead slide away; literally.  So of course the Army guy and wife win the million to no one's surprise.  It seems the only thing people care about is that Big Brother team doesn't win.  I noticed Rachel didn't make any friends cuz she couldn't find anyone to hug at the end when everyone was giving out congrats.  I have to say, the finale of the race wasn't that exciting because it was so predictable and we were tired of seeing the same couple come in first all of the time.  I guess people can be too perfect in the race.

Chopped Champions also had it's finale.  The last 4 chefs were Jeffrey Saad, Marcus Samuellson, Fred Munster's daughter and Michael Symon.  My money is on Samuellson and guess what.  I'm not wrong.  The surprising part of the show was when Symon was eliminated first.  Yep, leaving a required ingredient off the plate is usually the kiss of death.  For the rest of the world, it seemed we just didn't want Fred Munster's daughter to win and she didn't.  Yay!  We don't care who you're trying to be or trying to fool, we still remember you from Next Food Network Star and we still hate you.  Really though;  did anybody doubt the Top Chef Master?  Of course he won and did it looking sexy the whole time.

The Celebrity Apprentice had it's last task before the finale.  The teams had to do a print ad and presentation for a new hairdryer.  It's Teresa and Lisa's turns to be project managers.  Teresa's so lame, she can't even do a negotiation for models w/ Lisa.  It was so funny to watch because Lisa really didn't care who she got and Teresa totally gave away her top preference right out of the gate.  Lisa sticks Unanimous w/ a model w/ hardly any hair.  Ironically, they didn't even use the model that Teresa fought so hard for.  Nobody was surprised to find Aubrey making herself a model.  It's so weird how she gets more and more skanky looking every week.  People working w/ the team can't figure out who's supposed to be in charge and Aubrey is trying hard not to be bossy.  Arsenio runs the photography and does a good job w/ what the girls want. Hint; people usually don't like their product at the bottom of the picture or in a person's crotch area.  Meanwhile, on Forte, Lisa and Clay are doing the task quite smoothly utilizing outside people well.  One thing I notice; Lisa is really good at getting the correct things in the ads she makes.  People want their product described and the advantages of having it spelled out.  In the end Lisa wins 100K for her charity and Teresa gets the boot.  Then everyone chats a bit in the suite before being called back into the boardroom.  It's announced that it's time for their interviews w/ last year's top 2.  It is so much fun to see Marley Matlin and John Rich again.  I've always loved his telling Trump, "Just give me the check!"  LOL.  The interviews are shown differently in a kind of flashback reminiscing thing while Marley and John talk to Trump.  It's kind of cool.  We end the show w/ a huge shocker; Lisa is fired.  OMG!  I hate to say it but the most intelligent person is out.  I guess Trump isn't looking for brains.  I can't wait for next week!

Survivor: One World is down to 5 women and one wild man.  Chelsea is nice enough to talk to Christina on the way to treemail.  I often think people just tell people they want to be friends w/ them just to be nice.  Christina proves herself to be the dumbest person on the island and proceeds to blab the whole conversation to the rest of the women.  This was a great test for Kim and Chelsea to see if Christina is savvy at all.  She isn't.  It's not good to prove your stupidity in this game because it make you very disposable.  Buck toothed Alicia is looking and seeming as nasty as ever and says she's running the game.  Really?  I'm betting, if they could, the tribe would club her like a baby seal.  The luxury challenge has the people running in circles and doing a puzzle.  Chelsea wins a night on a yacht w/ food, bed and hot shower.  She picks 2 buddies to go w/her:  Kim and Sabrina.  It's her whole alliance.  Back on the island, Tarzan comes out of his alzheimer's stupor and points out the tight threesome to Alicia and Christina.  Alicia talks up a plan and Christina does her best to not look like a moron.  When the 3 get back, Kim acts like her 3 are no big deal.  Kim's got the whole tribe trusting her like Mother Theresa.  For immunity, the survivors have to do that digging, hooking bags and putting fish bone puzzle together.  The new thing is, they have to do it w/ only 1 hand.  Oh BFD!  This time Alicia pulls out the win.  That puzzle looked so easy even Kat could've done it.  Back at camp Kim directs everybody's focus to Tarzan but it's easy cuz he's acting insane again.  At tribal, there really is no blindside.  Tarzan's the last man and he gets all the girls' votes.  Meanwhile, Kat's still crying.  The Ponderosa video shows Tarzan really is a kook but a loveable one.  What a character!  LOL!  I can't wait for the finale!

America's Next Top Model had the girls doing some kind of skit w/ martial arts.  Even though Ebony looked the best at it, the Chinese action star guy doing the judging has the hots for Laura and declares her the winner.  Whatever.  For the photoshoot, the girls had to model at the top of a skyscraper in high winds and rain.  I don't blame them a bit for being scared shitless.  They probably weigh 110 pounds soaking wet.  I'm surprised they aren't blown off the building.  OMG!  In the end, Alesha quits and Ebony is eliminated.  Wow!  That was quick cuz now they're down to 3 and they still haven't done their go-sees.  I can't wait for next week.  I wonder if it'll be the finale?

The new chef show on Bravo is Around the World In 80 Plates.  It's interesting.  Cat Cora's contract w/ the food network must be over cuz she's hosting w/ Curtis Stone.  It's 16 chefs who go to a city, do a challenge as a team and then take over a restaurant and cook the native dishes.  Someone gets eliminated each week.  How come Boston chefs always come off as kind of dirty, fat and gross?  They're in London.  The group is split into 2 teams and they do a pub crawl.  At each pub they eat a dish and drink a drink.  The red team made a really wise decision to take a cab to their first destination and they keep the lead to the end.  It's a quick start and they can ask people at that place for directions to the next place.  At the 2nd pub, the dish is steak and kidney pie or the team can drink a yard of ale instead.  Ick.  Black team opts to not eat the dish and drink instead.  By the time the teams get to the last pub they're all drunk and it's kind of funny.  You can tell the locals don't care for drunk tourists.  So the winning team gets an ingredient that the other team can't use and it's potatoes.  OMG!  One chef says, "How you supposed to make fish and chips w/out potatoes?"  I'm all, "No kidding!"  Even though the red team gets the advantage, they prove you also need smarts.  England is one of the countries where you eat the main course just to get to the dessert.  The red team decides not to do a dessert.  Really?  Also, they have the only vegetarian chef.  They lose and here's a new twist, the team decides by individual votes who gets sent home.  Somehow, even though the Boston chef made the ugliest looking and tasting dish, he convinces the rest of the team to vote out the vegetarian chef and back home she goes.  Bye!

Hmmm...I hope the shows starting up will be better.  Bravo showed a marathon of Top Chef Masters season 3.  It was fun to watch again.  I still admire Mary Sue Millikin so much.  She cuts off the top of her finger and says, "I'm just so annoyed."  and just keeps on cooking.  Wow!  What a woman!  I fell in love w/ Floyd again and I'm still convinced I went to school w/ Naomi Pomeroy's siblings or at least relatives.

Well, that's it for this week.  I'm on pins and needles for next week's finales.  See you round people.  Stay Tuned!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Oops...Where have I been? Oh yeah, watching TV.

Hello all.  Sorry I missed some stuff but I'll try to catch up.

The Amazing Race went to India.  The racers looked hot and bothered and the roadblock didn't help.  The border patrol guys were still grousing over the betrayal they felt at the hands of the Airforce guy and wife.  Boo freakin' hoo; move on.  So one person from the team had to learn a Bollywood dance and then perform it to the satisfaction of the director.  Oh boy!  Guess who did the best at this?  Yep, the women which caused a huge shuffle of the order of the teams.  Poor Mark, he's one of the few black guys w/ no rhythm and it literally took all day for him to learn the dance.  Meanwhile, the heat is really doing a number on everyone.  Then for the detour, the teams had to decorate an elephant or...I forget cuz everyone chose the elephant.  In the end, the Airforce guy and wife hit the mat first and Mark and Bopper came in last but...it's another non-elimination leg.  Ok.  So the teams stayed in India and the first thing they have to do is find a barber under a tree.  It seemed there was only one.  That was lucky.  The teams were given the option of doing a fast forward.  Since there've been so many, it now falls to the last 3 teams.  Big Brother couple race to the fast forward and find it's the shaving the head thing.  Rachael decides her hair is all she's got to contribute to her beauty and she's not wrong.  So they go back to the roadblock where all the other teams are except Mark and Bopper.  The roadblock has 1 person making coconut fibre rope and it seems the men all decide to do it.  I love the men complaining how it's making their hands bleed.  I'll bet those Indians thought those white people were total pampered wussbags.  I love that the divorced couple fight the whole time but still get the tasks done.  They left the roadblock 2nd because the Airforce guy and wife seem to be perfect at everything.  Anyway, while running for a taxi, Vanessa does a faceplant on the pavement and twists her ankle.  She thinks it's more than that but it turns out, she's just a drama queen wussbag.  For the detour, the teams can either pack and ship crates of ginger or clean up after elephants.  The border patrol guys are trying to convince Big Brother team to go back to the fast forward.  Meanwhile, Mark's getting IV fluids after the grueling previous day.  They're more than 3 hours behind the other teams and still have a speed bump they have to do.  Back at the detour, everyone except the border patrol guys does the hauling elephant dung thing and Vanessa decides to count Big Brother's loads instead of just concentrating on her own task.  That may be the reason why they're so slow at tasks.  Anyway, Mark and Bopper have to paint a dancer's belly for their speed bump and they run to the fast forward.  Here's the hilarious part because the head shavers can't find any hair to shave on Mark's head.  After all that, they couldn't overcome their impediments and came in last and were out of the race.  The Airforce guy and wife came in first again.  Wow!  I wonder if they'll keep it up to the end?

The Celebrity Apprentice had the teams doing a presentation for Trump's cologne.  Aubrey takes the project manager job for Unanimous and Clay is made the PM for Forte.  It just seems the rotations just don't sync on Forte cuz this would've been good for Dyana to do but she did the task the week before last.  Well ok.   As you can guess, Aubrey takes the ball and just runs w/ it.  She tries some suck up points by asking Eric Trump to model for a silouette for the presentation.  It looked dumb.  She tried to do a mock up of the NY city skyline but it just looks like car grilles.  Obviously, Aubrey's not as posh as you would think because when George points out the building looks like a Rolls Royce grille, she gives him a blank look.  Meanwhile, on Forte, even though he's not the leader, Penn's pushing his idea for the task and the team goes w/ it because nobody has any aesthetic creativity.  Dyana does what she does best and models for an ad picture that looks sappy and stupid.  For some odd reason, the team decides not to show the man in the picture even though the cologne is for men.  Their hook line is, "You earned it."  It sounds pretentious.  If they had only made it, "You've earned it."  It would've put a different meaning to it.  On Unanimous, Aubrey has decided on, "Trust your instinct" which Arsenio found by browsing Trump's website.  She immediately and forever takes credit for the thought.  How very gracious of her.  On Forte, the task is about done and in the last 10 minutes, Dyana suggests they do a brochure.  Oh sure, like they have time to bang that out.  Aubrey's presentation is well done and she actually lets the other people on her team say something.  Forte has the most awkward presentation I've ever seen.  The win goes to Aubrey but she is told she didn't run away w/ it so therefore doesn't win the huge grand prize.  I have a feeling Trump was going to use the display but decided not to.  Clay is slammed for all the shortcomings of the task but in the end Penn is fired for coming up w/ everything.  Penn's look of relief is so obvious and you can tell he's thinking, "Thank the gods cuz I need to get to my real job."  I have to ask, was all that gushing over Dyana's picture really necessary?  I think Trump's just giving a really good sell job on her to justify her still being there.  Ok, so last week, the teams had to do a jingle and a live commercial for Big Al's.  No, he's not a gigolo, it's a roadside service thing.  Arsenio takes the PM job on Unanimous and Dyana, who has no music talent whatsoever, takes the PM for Forte cuz it's her turn.  Great!  Poor Arsenio, he can't be in 2 places at once so whenever his back is turned, Aubrey just runs roughshod.  He does a good job of recording the jingle and since Aubrey volunteers for everything, he lets her do a lot.  Meanwhile, Teresa is proving to be as useful as a jumprope to a quadriplegic.  On Forte, Dyana is one of those bosses who doesn't realize she's useless and just gets in everyone's way.  Really?  You interrupt a music artist when he's trying to work on your jingle?  That is so frustrating and Clay showed a ton of restraint cuz I would've strangled Dyana w/ a piano wire.  Meanwhile, Lisa works on the lyrics.  I love Dyana trying to suggest a whole sentence more to stuff into a musical phrase.  Not gonna happen girl.  I give Lisa kudos cuz she only blew up at Dyana once.  For the presentations, Arsenio and Teresa did a sketch that led into the commercial.  Thank the gods for Arsenio because he kept the sketch moving along and funny when Teresa started to jump the tracks.  Aubrey's idea for cheerleaders saving the day was kind of stupid.  Forte just did a radio like production w/ no sketch and it went well until Dyana hopped onstage in plain clothes, introduced herself and said thank you.  It's like when a great party is ending and the host asks you to help clean up or contribute money.   Awkward!  Needless to say, Arsenio's team won and Aubrey tried to take credit.  So on to the massacre!  All it took was Dyana complaining that her team wasn't supportive of her and Lisa let her have it right between the eyes.  I love Lisa.  She doesn't give any gratuitous flattery, she doesn't beat around the bush and she doesn't do subterfuge.  She just comes out w/ guns blazing and the people go down.  This time,  there was no Trump skirt to hide behind.  Trump realized he rode that Miss Universe horse as far as it could go and Dyana was fired.  Yay!  Even a 1 yr old baby doesn't get carried as much as she did.  Also, it's not bullying when it's the truth and done defensively.

RuPaul's Drag Race had it's finale.  The final 3 did their usual video w/ Rupaul and also their weird talk/lunch.  Is it just me or is Rupaul looking heavier this year but not when he's out of drag?  The final lip synch involved all 3 girls and I have to say, I think Sharon Needles did the best.  So did they announce the winner?  No, they decided to do another show bringing back all the girls.  Ok.  It was a reunion which also included some Q & A, lots of cheering from the audience and introducing everybody and their dog.  Yeah, whatever.  In the end, the judges agreed w/ me and Sharon Needles won.  Cool!  She's the first white guy to win.

The Biggest Loser had it's live finale and I have to admit, I didn't watch it on TV.  I just watched some of it on the net.  First, the network had to split the last episode into 2 to make up for the lost episodes due to people quitting the show.  Good Lord!  The next to last episode consisted of Conda and Kim standing around while all the non-quitter eliminated fatties did 3 challenges to see who would get that last spot.  I smell a rat!  Usually the people have to prove themselves by running a marathon because at this point, they should be pretty fit.  Yeah, but what do you do when you're not fit and still a fattie?  Oh, do challenges that involve a short sprint, using your brain and endurance that doesn't involve moving.  If they had ended w/ the sprint, Jeremy wouldn't have had a chance.  At this point though, I can't stand any of these people so I didn't really care who won.  Jeremy outlasted Michael standing on the post.  For the finale, all the contestants came back w/ only about 4 looking fit.  Emily was wearing so many support garments, her boobs stuck out like torpedoes and looked kind of scary.  Michael won the at home prize.  I liked that footage of the last 3 at home wasn't shown.  Probably because it proved they didn't work out. Kim and Conda looked the same as they did in the end of the season episode.  You have to remember, they had the whole time during the showing of the season to lose more weight before the live finale.  Jeremy and Conda still have double chins but Jeremy looked like he may have skipped the last couple of meals and won.  BFD, I couldn't have cared less.  I always say, it's better to be fat and fun than skinny and bitchy.  Too bad all the contestants were fat and annoying from the beginning cuz they ended up thinner but still annoying.  All I can say is, thank the gods I don't have to see them again.

Survivor: One World has the tribe down to 6 women and Tarzan.  It's the episode I hate the most; the family or friend reunion.  You'd think these people had been on the island for 6 years instead of 6 weeks.  We hear Kat saying weird incestuousy stuff about her cousin and Tarzan and his wife's reunion needed to be behind a screen to keep the audience from cringing.  Christina had a sob story about kidney transplant and her Father.  Yeah, whatever.  For the luxury challenge, the family member or friend and the survivor have to untie knots in a rope and then untangle themselves from a long ropey puzzle on a log thing.  Yes, it's been done and more than once.  We see where all the brains are in the family and Kat and her cousin win.  Wow!  He must be brilliant.  She gets to invite 2 survivors and their guest on a picnic and she goes w/ her popular vote and takes Kim and Alicia w/ her.  This is where we find Alicia isn't out of the loop but is playing the throw-away vote game.  She's still regarded as despicable and is resembling big foot's sister.  We also notice Kim is sporting a mustache.  Revoltin Colton was the girl on the men's tribe.  Maybe Kim was the man on the women's tribe.  Hmmm...something to think about.  Back at camp, Sabrina's all high on her horse and saying she would've chose Tarzan and Christina for the reward.  Uh huh...right.  She proceeds to whine about the unfairness to everybody including the 3 after they return from the picnic.  I notice the guests didn't have to spend the night at camp.  I'm guessing there were complaints in the past.   For the Immunity, the contestants had to stand on a log holding a rope behind them while Jeff cranked a wheel that increased their face to ocean angle.  Kim won even after listening to Kat begging her to let her have the win.  I'm guessing Kim's going to win all the immunity to the end.  Anyway, at camp, there's women's names thrown around; Sabrina, Christina, Alicia and Kat.  Hmmm...is Tarzan really in that good a spot?  He's playing a whily game cuz he proves himself weak at challenges, annoying at camp and usable by the women.  At tribal council, Troy is shooting daggers out of his eyes from the jury.  This time people aren't so honest so no names are mentioned for the vote.  Kat tells Jeff she likes blindsides because they're fun and exciting.  On to the vote.  It seems the whole tribe voted for Kat and we're LOL at her sobbing as she leaves.  Yep, she was right.  That was fun and exciting.  Jeff's trying not to laugh in her face as he extinguishes her torch.  The video of Ponderosa is even better cuz we get a lot of footage of Kat bawling her eyes out and whining to the ousted men that she got the worst blindside.  Uh huh...cry me a river dummy.

America's Next Top Model went to Macau.  The girls have to walk in gowns again and again we see Catherine still can't walk.  The 2 lone Americans can't get along but have to room w/ each other.  Ugh...I'd hate that.  Then for the photo shoot the girls have to model silk gowns w/ silkworms on them.  At least the worms aren't running around or trying to crawl or fly into noses and ears.  In the end Catherine is eliminated.  For a photo, maybe you shouldn't do the diner waitress pose.

As you can tell, I usually don't watch reality shows that just follow people around in their lives.  The only one I can watch for the whole time is Ice Loves Coco.  Maybe it's because they seem real.  Ice is so not into most of the stuff Coco wants to do and Coco blithely goes through life knowing no matter how stupid she is, Ice truly loves her.  I really love the scenes when Coco's trying to make Ice eat more healthy and he's not doing it.  Instead he hides junky unhealthy food all over the house and proceeds to dig in.  I love it.  Also, the love between the couple seems genuine and not put on for the camera.  Yo Karcrashians.  Maybe we'd believe you if you were believable.

Well, that's about it.  The season is winding down but I think other shows are coming up for the summer.  Hopefully so; otherwise I'll go through withdrawal.  We'll see huh?  Stay tuned.