Oops...Where have I been? Oh yeah, watching TV.

Hello all.  Sorry I missed some stuff but I'll try to catch up.

The Amazing Race went to India.  The racers looked hot and bothered and the roadblock didn't help.  The border patrol guys were still grousing over the betrayal they felt at the hands of the Airforce guy and wife.  Boo freakin' hoo; move on.  So one person from the team had to learn a Bollywood dance and then perform it to the satisfaction of the director.  Oh boy!  Guess who did the best at this?  Yep, the women which caused a huge shuffle of the order of the teams.  Poor Mark, he's one of the few black guys w/ no rhythm and it literally took all day for him to learn the dance.  Meanwhile, the heat is really doing a number on everyone.  Then for the detour, the teams had to decorate an elephant or...I forget cuz everyone chose the elephant.  In the end, the Airforce guy and wife hit the mat first and Mark and Bopper came in last but...it's another non-elimination leg.  Ok.  So the teams stayed in India and the first thing they have to do is find a barber under a tree.  It seemed there was only one.  That was lucky.  The teams were given the option of doing a fast forward.  Since there've been so many, it now falls to the last 3 teams.  Big Brother couple race to the fast forward and find it's the shaving the head thing.  Rachael decides her hair is all she's got to contribute to her beauty and she's not wrong.  So they go back to the roadblock where all the other teams are except Mark and Bopper.  The roadblock has 1 person making coconut fibre rope and it seems the men all decide to do it.  I love the men complaining how it's making their hands bleed.  I'll bet those Indians thought those white people were total pampered wussbags.  I love that the divorced couple fight the whole time but still get the tasks done.  They left the roadblock 2nd because the Airforce guy and wife seem to be perfect at everything.  Anyway, while running for a taxi, Vanessa does a faceplant on the pavement and twists her ankle.  She thinks it's more than that but it turns out, she's just a drama queen wussbag.  For the detour, the teams can either pack and ship crates of ginger or clean up after elephants.  The border patrol guys are trying to convince Big Brother team to go back to the fast forward.  Meanwhile, Mark's getting IV fluids after the grueling previous day.  They're more than 3 hours behind the other teams and still have a speed bump they have to do.  Back at the detour, everyone except the border patrol guys does the hauling elephant dung thing and Vanessa decides to count Big Brother's loads instead of just concentrating on her own task.  That may be the reason why they're so slow at tasks.  Anyway, Mark and Bopper have to paint a dancer's belly for their speed bump and they run to the fast forward.  Here's the hilarious part because the head shavers can't find any hair to shave on Mark's head.  After all that, they couldn't overcome their impediments and came in last and were out of the race.  The Airforce guy and wife came in first again.  Wow!  I wonder if they'll keep it up to the end?

The Celebrity Apprentice had the teams doing a presentation for Trump's cologne.  Aubrey takes the project manager job for Unanimous and Clay is made the PM for Forte.  It just seems the rotations just don't sync on Forte cuz this would've been good for Dyana to do but she did the task the week before last.  Well ok.   As you can guess, Aubrey takes the ball and just runs w/ it.  She tries some suck up points by asking Eric Trump to model for a silouette for the presentation.  It looked dumb.  She tried to do a mock up of the NY city skyline but it just looks like car grilles.  Obviously, Aubrey's not as posh as you would think because when George points out the building looks like a Rolls Royce grille, she gives him a blank look.  Meanwhile, on Forte, even though he's not the leader, Penn's pushing his idea for the task and the team goes w/ it because nobody has any aesthetic creativity.  Dyana does what she does best and models for an ad picture that looks sappy and stupid.  For some odd reason, the team decides not to show the man in the picture even though the cologne is for men.  Their hook line is, "You earned it."  It sounds pretentious.  If they had only made it, "You've earned it."  It would've put a different meaning to it.  On Unanimous, Aubrey has decided on, "Trust your instinct" which Arsenio found by browsing Trump's website.  She immediately and forever takes credit for the thought.  How very gracious of her.  On Forte, the task is about done and in the last 10 minutes, Dyana suggests they do a brochure.  Oh sure, like they have time to bang that out.  Aubrey's presentation is well done and she actually lets the other people on her team say something.  Forte has the most awkward presentation I've ever seen.  The win goes to Aubrey but she is told she didn't run away w/ it so therefore doesn't win the huge grand prize.  I have a feeling Trump was going to use the display but decided not to.  Clay is slammed for all the shortcomings of the task but in the end Penn is fired for coming up w/ everything.  Penn's look of relief is so obvious and you can tell he's thinking, "Thank the gods cuz I need to get to my real job."  I have to ask, was all that gushing over Dyana's picture really necessary?  I think Trump's just giving a really good sell job on her to justify her still being there.  Ok, so last week, the teams had to do a jingle and a live commercial for Big Al's.  No, he's not a gigolo, it's a roadside service thing.  Arsenio takes the PM job on Unanimous and Dyana, who has no music talent whatsoever, takes the PM for Forte cuz it's her turn.  Great!  Poor Arsenio, he can't be in 2 places at once so whenever his back is turned, Aubrey just runs roughshod.  He does a good job of recording the jingle and since Aubrey volunteers for everything, he lets her do a lot.  Meanwhile, Teresa is proving to be as useful as a jumprope to a quadriplegic.  On Forte, Dyana is one of those bosses who doesn't realize she's useless and just gets in everyone's way.  Really?  You interrupt a music artist when he's trying to work on your jingle?  That is so frustrating and Clay showed a ton of restraint cuz I would've strangled Dyana w/ a piano wire.  Meanwhile, Lisa works on the lyrics.  I love Dyana trying to suggest a whole sentence more to stuff into a musical phrase.  Not gonna happen girl.  I give Lisa kudos cuz she only blew up at Dyana once.  For the presentations, Arsenio and Teresa did a sketch that led into the commercial.  Thank the gods for Arsenio because he kept the sketch moving along and funny when Teresa started to jump the tracks.  Aubrey's idea for cheerleaders saving the day was kind of stupid.  Forte just did a radio like production w/ no sketch and it went well until Dyana hopped onstage in plain clothes, introduced herself and said thank you.  It's like when a great party is ending and the host asks you to help clean up or contribute money.   Awkward!  Needless to say, Arsenio's team won and Aubrey tried to take credit.  So on to the massacre!  All it took was Dyana complaining that her team wasn't supportive of her and Lisa let her have it right between the eyes.  I love Lisa.  She doesn't give any gratuitous flattery, she doesn't beat around the bush and she doesn't do subterfuge.  She just comes out w/ guns blazing and the people go down.  This time,  there was no Trump skirt to hide behind.  Trump realized he rode that Miss Universe horse as far as it could go and Dyana was fired.  Yay!  Even a 1 yr old baby doesn't get carried as much as she did.  Also, it's not bullying when it's the truth and done defensively.

RuPaul's Drag Race had it's finale.  The final 3 did their usual video w/ Rupaul and also their weird talk/lunch.  Is it just me or is Rupaul looking heavier this year but not when he's out of drag?  The final lip synch involved all 3 girls and I have to say, I think Sharon Needles did the best.  So did they announce the winner?  No, they decided to do another show bringing back all the girls.  Ok.  It was a reunion which also included some Q & A, lots of cheering from the audience and introducing everybody and their dog.  Yeah, whatever.  In the end, the judges agreed w/ me and Sharon Needles won.  Cool!  She's the first white guy to win.

The Biggest Loser had it's live finale and I have to admit, I didn't watch it on TV.  I just watched some of it on the net.  First, the network had to split the last episode into 2 to make up for the lost episodes due to people quitting the show.  Good Lord!  The next to last episode consisted of Conda and Kim standing around while all the non-quitter eliminated fatties did 3 challenges to see who would get that last spot.  I smell a rat!  Usually the people have to prove themselves by running a marathon because at this point, they should be pretty fit.  Yeah, but what do you do when you're not fit and still a fattie?  Oh, do challenges that involve a short sprint, using your brain and endurance that doesn't involve moving.  If they had ended w/ the sprint, Jeremy wouldn't have had a chance.  At this point though, I can't stand any of these people so I didn't really care who won.  Jeremy outlasted Michael standing on the post.  For the finale, all the contestants came back w/ only about 4 looking fit.  Emily was wearing so many support garments, her boobs stuck out like torpedoes and looked kind of scary.  Michael won the at home prize.  I liked that footage of the last 3 at home wasn't shown.  Probably because it proved they didn't work out. Kim and Conda looked the same as they did in the end of the season episode.  You have to remember, they had the whole time during the showing of the season to lose more weight before the live finale.  Jeremy and Conda still have double chins but Jeremy looked like he may have skipped the last couple of meals and won.  BFD, I couldn't have cared less.  I always say, it's better to be fat and fun than skinny and bitchy.  Too bad all the contestants were fat and annoying from the beginning cuz they ended up thinner but still annoying.  All I can say is, thank the gods I don't have to see them again.

Survivor: One World has the tribe down to 6 women and Tarzan.  It's the episode I hate the most; the family or friend reunion.  You'd think these people had been on the island for 6 years instead of 6 weeks.  We hear Kat saying weird incestuousy stuff about her cousin and Tarzan and his wife's reunion needed to be behind a screen to keep the audience from cringing.  Christina had a sob story about kidney transplant and her Father.  Yeah, whatever.  For the luxury challenge, the family member or friend and the survivor have to untie knots in a rope and then untangle themselves from a long ropey puzzle on a log thing.  Yes, it's been done and more than once.  We see where all the brains are in the family and Kat and her cousin win.  Wow!  He must be brilliant.  She gets to invite 2 survivors and their guest on a picnic and she goes w/ her popular vote and takes Kim and Alicia w/ her.  This is where we find Alicia isn't out of the loop but is playing the throw-away vote game.  She's still regarded as despicable and is resembling big foot's sister.  We also notice Kim is sporting a mustache.  Revoltin Colton was the girl on the men's tribe.  Maybe Kim was the man on the women's tribe.  Hmmm...something to think about.  Back at camp, Sabrina's all high on her horse and saying she would've chose Tarzan and Christina for the reward.  Uh huh...right.  She proceeds to whine about the unfairness to everybody including the 3 after they return from the picnic.  I notice the guests didn't have to spend the night at camp.  I'm guessing there were complaints in the past.   For the Immunity, the contestants had to stand on a log holding a rope behind them while Jeff cranked a wheel that increased their face to ocean angle.  Kim won even after listening to Kat begging her to let her have the win.  I'm guessing Kim's going to win all the immunity to the end.  Anyway, at camp, there's women's names thrown around; Sabrina, Christina, Alicia and Kat.  Hmmm...is Tarzan really in that good a spot?  He's playing a whily game cuz he proves himself weak at challenges, annoying at camp and usable by the women.  At tribal council, Troy is shooting daggers out of his eyes from the jury.  This time people aren't so honest so no names are mentioned for the vote.  Kat tells Jeff she likes blindsides because they're fun and exciting.  On to the vote.  It seems the whole tribe voted for Kat and we're LOL at her sobbing as she leaves.  Yep, she was right.  That was fun and exciting.  Jeff's trying not to laugh in her face as he extinguishes her torch.  The video of Ponderosa is even better cuz we get a lot of footage of Kat bawling her eyes out and whining to the ousted men that she got the worst blindside.  Uh huh...cry me a river dummy.

America's Next Top Model went to Macau.  The girls have to walk in gowns again and again we see Catherine still can't walk.  The 2 lone Americans can't get along but have to room w/ each other.  Ugh...I'd hate that.  Then for the photo shoot the girls have to model silk gowns w/ silkworms on them.  At least the worms aren't running around or trying to crawl or fly into noses and ears.  In the end Catherine is eliminated.  For a photo, maybe you shouldn't do the diner waitress pose.

As you can tell, I usually don't watch reality shows that just follow people around in their lives.  The only one I can watch for the whole time is Ice Loves Coco.  Maybe it's because they seem real.  Ice is so not into most of the stuff Coco wants to do and Coco blithely goes through life knowing no matter how stupid she is, Ice truly loves her.  I really love the scenes when Coco's trying to make Ice eat more healthy and he's not doing it.  Instead he hides junky unhealthy food all over the house and proceeds to dig in.  I love it.  Also, the love between the couple seems genuine and not put on for the camera.  Yo Karcrashians.  Maybe we'd believe you if you were believable.

Well, that's about it.  The season is winding down but I think other shows are coming up for the summer.  Hopefully so; otherwise I'll go through withdrawal.  We'll see huh?  Stay tuned.