Uh Oh...Revolting Players.

Hello fellow TV watchers.  It was an interesting week.

The Amazing Race had another episode in Tanzania.  It's nice on the racers and viewers when they stay in a country for a few days.  All that flying everyday does a real number on the racers.  The viewers like it too cuz we get to see the country longer.  The detour had a double u-turn to go w/ it.  The racers could either get and haul water to a person or fix a flat tire on a bicycle.  The Border Patrol guys first tried to make a deal w/ the airforce guy and wife.  The first team to get to the u-turn would u-turn the Big Brother team.  Ok.  The Border Patrol guys thought the water hauling would go quickly until they saw that everybody and their dog in the village had queued up to get water and they were in no hurry.  Yeah, water's a hot commodity in Africa.  As usual, the Airforce guy and wife got through their flat fixing really quickly but didn't use the u-turn.  That was good strategy cuz if you can only use a u-turn once in the race, it's best to save it and also, you don't piss anyone off.  Well, ok.  The Border Patrol guys were really pissed and vowed not to speak to the Airforce guy and wife.  Really?  How old are you anyway?  A funny part of the race was the racers looking for Hillary Clington and thinking it was a person.  For a hot minute, I was afraid we'd have to see the former first lady on the show but nope, it turned out to be a kind of kiosk that had their clue.  Anyway, Big Brother team was u-turned by the Border Patrol guys and the Big Brother team u-turned the divorced couple which was smart cuz they kept someone behind them.  I can't remember what the roadblock was, but it was right up Mark and Bopper's alley cuz they hit the finish mat first.  Unfortunately, for the teachers/fed agent ladies, they couldn't overcome their very late start and speed bump and came in last.  They were gracious in their elimination.  I guess an all girl team isn't going to win it this year.

The Celebrity Apprentice had the celebs doing a muppet improv show.  Oh boy!  Paul Teutal was given the job of project manager for Unanimous by the team.  He was totally not into it.  Lisa took the PM role for Forte and was totally into it.  The teams had to create 2 puppets and then put on the show.  It was all improv from audience suggestions.  Poor Dayana.  She can't find a niche.  Lisa had her make one of the puppets.  I don't know why, but the producers showed a lot of footage of Dayana making her puppet which made her look kind of slow and stupid cuz we were all saying, everybody else whipped out their puppets in 10 minutes and she's taking an hour.  Maybe they just wanted to show her pouty face a lot.  When Eric Trump visited, Dayana hid behind her hair.  On Unanimous, Paul complained of a hurt back and let his team run amok.  I have never seen a more apathetic PM in all the seasons of Apprentice.  Anyway, Aubrey took the emcee role for the puppet show and did a good job of keeping things rolling.  Arsenio showed he was very good at improv and humor and Teresa showed she's slow and dim.  Forte had a backstage blowout before the show.  Dayana asked for something else to do and Lisa pretty much told her she wasn't good for anything cuz nobody had to look pretty.  Oh boy!  You'd think Penn would be a great emcee but I kept wondering why he was sitting down in the audience so much.  Nobody likes long drawn out improv sketches so there should be no sitting down on that job.  So Clay showed his expertise in puppetry which he gained from church.  Lisa tried to keep the show tasteful but failed a little bit causing a little awkward chuckling.  Ok, so in the end, Forte won.  Everybody noticed Paul not in the game anymore and he was given the firing finger.  Yeah, he was done w/ the game when he won almost half a million dollars for his charity in the very first episode.

OMG!  The Biggest Loser was terrible.  It seems the players heard they had come to the point of the show where a past eliminated player can win a spot in the top 3.  They were pissed.  I don't understand why cuz they've done this for the last 3 seasons.  Still, I think they were sick of returning players.  Also, I think Conda and Jeremy really stirred the pot.  The lawyers, host, and trainers all talked to the players giving arguments and showing them signed contracts.  In the end, Buddy and Mark quit the show.  What a break for the other 3 players cuz it significantly cut down the competition and the 2 best players left.  I do have to point out, those 2 guys complained the most about missing their families.  What a bunch of wussbags they chose for this season.  It's not like they're in prison and will never see their families again.  Yeesh.  Because of all the drama, they didn't show the challenge.  It was freakin' stupid.  They brought back the last 3 season's worth of winners.  Then the whole group had to do a mudder obstacle course in less than 20 minutes w/ the prize being 5K for the whole group.  Yeah, nobody tried that hard.  Conda and Jeremy showed they were still fat and uncoordinated.  Needless to say, nobody won anything but a good mudbath.  Ick.  So they showed footage of the trainers taking their frustration out on the last 3 players.  They brought in a new SUV prize and pretty much did a huge commercial for it.  Hello, obvious and sickening at the same time.  At the weigh-in, they had a redline w/ an automatic ousting.  Hee hee!  Conda and Jeremy's plans didn't work this time.  Kim had a heckuva weight loss.  I think they thought she wouldn't lose much since she's in the thin range.  Jeremy fell below the red line and Conda cried her eyes out and declared it unfair.  Really?  You've been manipulating people, votes, weight loss the whole game and you find this unfair.  Whatever!  When are they bringing back another player already?  I'm sick to death of these guys.

Rupaul's Drag Race is down to 3 but god forbid they get on w/ the show.  It was a clip show and behind the scenes footage show.  Actually it was pretty funny and good.  I don't know why, but I find drag queens really fascinating.  I also found out what tucking really entails.  I had no idea a guy could shove his penis inside himself.  Wow!  This show is educational too.  Ooh, I can't wait for the finale.

I have to say Raising Hope had the funniest season finale I've seen for a long time.  Jimmy found,via TV, that his serial killer baby Mama was not dead after all.  He proceeded to faint dead away for a total of 3 times.  It was hilarious and the show was just LOL funny the whole rest of the time.  During the court trial for Hope's custody, Virginia says, "You had to be living under a rock not to know she's a serial killer."  Cue the jury of miners who had been trapped underground for the last 2 years.  OMG, Greg Garcia is a genius.  If he and Chuck Lorre ever get together, it'll be mindblowing.

Survivor: One World featured a paranoid and loopy Troyzan surrounded by men w/ no brains, 2 brilliant women and a few dumb hanger ons.  Sorry Sabrina, but Kim and Chelsea are playing you like a harmonica.  So this time, they have the food and stuff auction.  Leif is the only guy determined to eat and he gets a nasty looking protein shake.  Kat is stupid and determined to eat and seems to claim most of the food.  She couldn't believe she got bacon in her BLT.  What an idiot.  Plastic surgeon in real-life Tarzan says he's saving his money for car brakes.  Right.  Suddenly letters from home are brought out and the price is set at $500, by Alicia, which is how much money each player received for the auction.  Kim bought a shower and peanutbutter and chocolate.  I think I'd go for that too.  Tarzan gave up his brake money for the letter.  Then Jeff brought out an immunity challenge advantage.  Everybody's telling Christina to bid against Troy because in this season, they can't pool their money.  She gives it up and Troy bought the only item worth bidding on in this game.  Man are these people stupid.  In case you were feeling sorry for those who didn't get any food, the last item was a cake that was to be shared w/ the whole tribe.  Whatever!  On to the immunity challenge, the survivors had to first untie a bunch of knots, then 4 of them moved on to bounce coconuts into targets.  Now they're using games from earlier this season.  Wow!  The originality has gone totally out the window.  Troy takes the victory and proceeds to dance.  If those girls were any kind of good actresses, they'd have cheered and clapped for him.  They're not good actresses at all and only succeeded in reinforcing Troy's idea that he's a target for ousting.  Troy also goes  immunity idol hunting and makes it look like he's found it.  Good bluffing, dude!  At tribal, the survivors once again say who they're voting for.  OMG!  They're so stupid!  I don't know why Leif looked so surprised when his name came up and he was voted out.  I don't know what game Tarzan's playing but he keeps pointing out to the guys that they're getting picked off one by one but then votes for a guy.  He does know the votes are to eliminate someone doesn't he?

America's Next Top Model had the girls ganging up on Kyle again.  There's something we're not seeing.  First the girls did PSA's against bullying.  That seems to be the buzzword this year.  I guess it's better than breast cancer.  Yeesh.  How about parents teach their kids to respect other people just for being people and to act respectable?  How about adults just act respectable and respect other people?  No, we have to have PSA's to prove to the other countries of the world how trashy we are.  Ugh.  Anyway, the Brits won the challenge.  For the photoshoot, the girls had to booty tooch during a weird dinner gone wrong scenario w/ a celebrity who I've never heard of in the picture too.  My favorite shot was the one girl shoving a handful of pie in another girl's face.  Hilarious!  I have a feeling the girls were told to try to keep the garments they were wearing, clean cuz they didn't seem as free as they could've been.  It looked very difficult.  The table was full of food and stuff and people were sitting or standing close by in fancy clothes.  You could read on the model's faces, "I hope I don't slip or poke someone w/ my heels."  In the end, a Brit girl won and an American was sent home; or was it the other way around?  I can't remember.

I'm looking forward to the TV Land Awards this coming Sunday and The Closer returning for it's last few episodes.  They say they have a spin-off in the works.  I hope so.  Until next time people; stay tuned.