As the TV world turns

Ahhh...it's so nice to see Law & Order back at it's 9pm (central time) slot. It's just as great as ever but at least the cops can talk like real cops now.

The Biggest Loser continued after the Olympics and it was a doozy. I was afraid it was going to be a boring season because the fatties were playing nice. They were getting cloyingly sweet. Then came Michael and showed who's really playing the game here. Michael took on the challenge to win the right to make the 2 teams. What a terrible challenge for a 450 pound person trying to lose weight. They played the game where you had to uncover 2 squares at a time and try to match items. Behind all but 2 squares were different foods. A lot of them were high calorie junk stuff and also, for each missed match, the chooser had to eat a chocolate chip cookie. If a match was made, the nonchooser had to eat the matched food. Either way, there was no getting around consuming large amounts of empty calories. By the time they had the 4th round with no matches, I felt sick. Michael finally matched the golden tickets but still ate 2400 calories. I thought, Jeez, that guy's gonna have to live on the treadmill for a couple of days. I was impressed. Did Michael keep the couple teams together? No. Did he make the teams well balanced with even numbers of men and women and heavy and lighter? No. In fact, the only pair he kept together were the mother/daughter team and he put them on the team that wasn't his. Poor Sam, he's the only guy on his team so the challenges are kind of one sided if they require strength. Michael was so sure the other team was going to lose the weigh-in, he left the old weak guy in the middle. It gave him immunity and then he was to join the losing team that lost a member. Michael thought it would split that team up too because he put the weak old guy's daughter on his own team. Well surprise, surprise, surprise. Jillian's black team won the weigh-in. Unfortunately, Miggy and Michael had alienated themselves from the other players on the ranch by being grumpy and catty. Since Michael won immunity by losing the most weight, I'll give you one guess who was voted out. I guess the other players decided this was a hardball game and finally joined in. It's about time. Now the show's more interesting and you can tell everybody's really hitting the workouts hard. It was nice to have a show where Bob and Jillian weren't trying to be psychologists. They suck at that. They stuck to their real job and the results showed.

Shear Genius producers are trying to keep the challenges complicated. For the shortcut challenge they tell the stylists they have to cut hair into sleek bobs. Oh wait! All the models have naturally curly hair. Oh wait! You have to cut the hair before you straighten it. Are you kidding? I was kind of confused and you guessed it, nobody got it perfect. It's really too bad they give a challenge where they're guaranteed to fail. Then the stylists had to give military wives 1940's pin-up girl looks. It was interesting. The winning guy did that poofy but sleek up do complete with little bow in the back. Brig did the Veronica Lake look and some tried the betty boop thing. One thing was clear, these women weren't good models at all cuz none of them did that booty tooch right or that big eyes with surprise look. Whatever. I'm not sure these women were worth coming home from Afghanistan for but I digress. Jonathan Antin continues to crack me up with his more than honest comments. I love when the stylists complain they didn't get enough time. Hello, this is a competition and it's not like they don't know their time limit. It's called hurry the fuck up and stop standing around blabbing and complaining. Anyway, the blond skinny Aussie girl was booted. Next time eat something. Maybe it'll give you energy to finish your task.

Survivor was really fun. They had 2 challenges and it was great. For the luxury challenge, the survivors dove on a slip n slide to get a numbered ball then they had to shoot the ball into a basket. Since this challenge didn't take any brawn, the villains team won. You can tell Boston Rob has taken the role as leader because they're making wise choices. From the catalog they chose tools and knives. Probably because Russell hid the machete. Each team found a clue to a hidden immunity idol in their camp. I was always wondering why Russell wasn't looking for it already but maybe he was and they didn't show it. Of course, he went for it and made his team mad. Whatever. If the little skunk finds it, it won't matter if they're mad or not. Tom found the idol at the heroes camp and wasn't good at hiding the fact at all. The immunity challenge was the old rolling the human in the ball and then have them guide their blindfolded teammates through a table maze. Boston Rob has proven to be quite the puzzle savvy guy cuz he was the one guiding all of his blindfolded teammates and the villains won immunity again. You can tell Russell really wants to unload some of the dead weight because after the win, he rolled his eyes. It was quite the hilarious moment. Tom and Colby swung the voting their way by a hair but it was just the ticket. The rest of the tribe tried to be conniving by splitting their votes for Tom and Colby thinking that if Tom used his immunity idol, Colby would still be voted out. Little did they know that JT isn't that much of a pushover and Cerie was voted out; much to her surprise. I loved the way Tom said that Cerie didn't have anything to fear. Wiping that smug look off of her face was totally great. If you missed it, you can find the full episode at www.cbs.com and enjoy the moments for yourself.

Project Runway did one of my favorite episodes. I love when the designers have to take unconventional materials and make clothes from them. This time it was a hardware store where they had to get their materials. The real men used sheets of metal to form their dresses or at least the bodices of them. I thought Amy's sandpaper dress should've been in the top three. Maya's look was really cool but the dress was not good for her figureless model. Jay made garbage bags look like leather and the whole outfit was great with good use of turquoise electrical tape stripes on the top. As usual, the judges liked that the whole outfit looked expensive. Emilio made a bikini out of washers and pink cord. I don't understand why he couldn't buy more washers with $150. Are they that expensive? He had plenty of cord. I think he should've worked on the macrame more. I've seen macarame swimsuits that didn't have washers and they hid more than his suit did. Kudos to Holly, his model, for working that pathetic swimsuit and acting like it was great stuff. Jesse was finally aufed. Good. I hated his sour attitude and he took his model, Alexis with him. She wasn't chosen by any designer for the next challenge and you could hear all the models in the win room all celebrating. Byeee!

The Amazing Race finally left South America and headed for Germany. Oh boy! They made the challenges really reflect Germany complete with eating sauerkraut, big beer drinking and a redlight district. The only thing missing was greasy sausages. The cowboys continue to impress. The only time they helped a team was when they needed them to pair up with for a challenge. It might have been their downfall. Anyway, the cowboys proved you can bungee jump and play soccer and keep your hat on your head. After the bungee jump, they split from the NY cops and made the mistake of taking the metro to the next challenge. That metro must really be slow because by the time the cowboys got to the soccer field, 3 other teams had passed them up. For the detour, each team had to share a large boot of beer and it was hilarious to see how they handled it. Some people loved it and were ecstatic to be able to chug beer. Others didn't like it and made a lot of faces and the gay guys got drunk. I loved the grandpa chugging the beer. I only got mad at the ending. The Big Brother ditz team came in last but it turned out to be non-elimination leg. Really? We have to go through another week of these douche bags? Maybe the speed bump, next week will do them in. We can only hope. The guy is so annoying, I was hoping he'd get a soccer ball kicked into his crotch during the detour. Maybe next week.

This season of Celebrity Fat Club is really dumb. Nobody's really trying except Jay. There's a lot of overdramatic acting and cheesy stuff. It's boring and sucks.

The Oscars had their annual show. It was pretty good. Sometimes there's one movie that just sweeps up all the awards. It might be good for them, but boring for the viewers. This show was much better because it seemed each movie won something. The beginning started with a song parody thing from Doogie Howser and then a comedy routine from Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. I think they could've cut out the song. You don't always have to stick to tradition. They had 10 movies nominated for the best movie. Really? Whatsamatter? Couldn't make up your minds? I was glad to see most of the thank you speeches didn't name everyone in the family except one guy who started. Thank god for the the wrap up music. The orchestra conductor must've fallen asleep during Jeff Bridges thank you speech cuz they let him go on and on. Even he was looking to be cut off.

I love the show Til' Death. For once, they don't have the couple all gooey lovey dovey. You can tell they love each other but they still just put up with the other person's quirks. The ongoing subplot of the son-in-law thinking he's on a sitcom is hilarious because now they changed actresses who play his wife. He freaked out, then got used to it; just like the audience. Mayim Bialik did a guest spot that was really funny only because she underplayed it.

I do watch a ton more tv, but this blog does have to end. So tata for now.