Coming and Going

Hello all.  Well, it's summer and the TV networks know people would rather be at the beach so they offer little fare.  That isn't a good idea because w/ 500 channels of something else to watch, people get invested in shows on other channels very easily.  Then when the new season comes on, the TV audience has it's attention elsewhere.  The networks and stars also grouse about reality shows but people are shy about watching a new series when so many of them have been cut right when people got really interested in them.  There have been times when I've recommended a series and my friends have found it's been cancelled.  Reality shows don't really have that ongoing plotpoint thing so it's easy to let them go when they're over.  Competition reality is even better because rarely are they ever cancelled before the end. Ok, let's get to the shows.

Food Network Star had a really difficult competition and the network got to highlight one of it's most popular shows at the same time.  The contestants had to do a Chopped competition.  All the dishes had to be desserts.  As usual, they threw in some weird items that shouldn't be in desserts like capers, cheese, etc.  The Chopped judges were there to watch, comment and judge.  Most of the contestants put their heads down and just cooked.  That one Southern lady got chatty and Alton basically told her to shut up and cook.  LOL!  Maybe that's why men like women who cook and keep house; so they don't have to listen to them yap.  In the end, she was criticized for making a dish that was too simple showing she talked more than she cooked.  I have to say, that one Asian guy who makes handmade ingredients is impressive.  He must be using magic cuz all of a sudden, bam!  His dish is there and it's great.  Harry Potter is that you?  In the end, the 2 people on the bottom were that wild haired rocker chef from Giada's team and that chatty Southern lady.  They were challenged to make their best dish.  I knew that wild haired rocker guy had blown all his chances to impress and he was sent home.  Bye Dude!  You look cool, but you need to buy a personality that's real.

Model Latina is a competition modeling show on Nuvo for, wait for it...Latin women.  It's not new but new to me since this is the first season I've seen the beginning.  They used to tell where each Latin country the woman had roots in but they didn't do that this year.  This show is interesting because it takes women who wouldn't even be considered for modeling.  Some are short, some are not skinny, some are too old for modeling and some are even quite homely.  One of the judges is a photographer who does most of the shoots.  That's a good way to save money.  The only problem is, you can tell he's getting totally bored w/ the job.  There's a lot of eye rolling and sighing from him.  Each season seems to have a new host who I've never heard of but oh well, it does show it is all about the girls and not about the host; unlike the Tyra Banks show.  The first show had the girls introducing themselves, moving into the house and then doing a runway show in front of the judges.  Maybe I'm not a good judge of model walks but some of the ones I thought were good the judges hated and some of the ones I didn't like the judges liked.  Hmmm....  The only ones I was right about were the obvious ones.  The prize for the winner is a dinner date w/ a judge.  The girl got totally berated for bringing along another girl.  In this biz, you want to make friends not have your seams cut before the photoshoot or hair cut when you're sleeping.  Anyway, everybody thought someone was going to be eliminated, but no.  For the 2nd episode, yes they had 2 in a row.  For goodness sake, why didn't they just start the season, one week earlier?  Anyway, for the 2nd episode, the girls had to do an underwater photoshoot in bathing suits in a pool.  I always feel bad for the girls who are afraid of water because they're exposed in front of millions of people.  I loved one of the judges asking, "You take baths and showers don't you?"  It's not the same.  That water is controlled and not deep.  I don't think I've ever heard of someone drowning in a shower.  I do have to say, those bathing suits were really gorgeous.  In the end, nobody was eliminated.  Is this a competition show or not?  I also wish the judges were snarkier cuz last season, I loved when the girls would cry during or after the judging.  It really feeds my schaudenfrueda thing ha ha ha.

I was right.  American Ninja Warrior is the same but it's still exciting.  Those guys are amazing and that obstacle course is no joke.  I feel sorry for the guys who go first and early because the other guys really learn from watching the mistakes.  I love when a guy tries to do a fancy hot dogging move and totally wipes out.  There are no 2nd chances on this show.  There's a youth pastor who is impressive and really shows persistence is the key.  He's not fast but he does finish the course and that's all that matters.  Some guys have been training for years and it shows.  Some just think they can do this course because they're athletic and they show it takes a little brains, a little luck and lots of preparation.  There's a lot of oh-ing from the audience and you never know if it's good or bad so you really have to watch.  All I can say is, "Wow!"  I wish they'd do a little less player profiles and more showing of the other people trying to get through the course.  I do like that they give women a chance but the women can't seem to get through the first obstacle.  Bring on the transgenders!  Ha ha ha.  Okay, I would suggest watching on G4 channel since they show all of the competition and not just the regional finals like NBC does.

America's Got Talent is still auditioning.  Someone must be reading comments because they're showing more acts.  Ok, so they're showing about 10 seconds of acts but at least we're seeing that they have more then 6 acts hitting the stage.  I'm sorry, but everytime an act gets 3 buzzes in quick succession, I fall on the floor laughing.  I love that Howard Stern is the least bullshit tolerant.  I like that the judges aren't falling for blatant ass kissing.  People try to flatter them and still get buzzed; Haw Haw.  Some people look like they're going to be totally lame and turn out to be quite impressive.  Some people look like they're going to be quite impressive and turn out to be totally lame.  Well, the season is early so we'll see what really stands out this year.  I'm noticing people are getting low in unique and fresh ideas and a lot of acts are starting to look like things we've seen in past seasons.  That's not going to work.

America's Next Top Model finally had it's finale.  The 2 girls had to shoot a commercial, do a final photoshoot and then a runway show.  At one point we found Laura writhing and crying on the floor.  Was she dying?  Nope, it was just a panic attack.  I thought this girl was tough.  Meanwhile, Sophie the Brit is breezing through all the tasks and making it look easy.  The runway show was really cool and showed a lot of innovation w/ projections and lights.  One thing I notice is, they didn't bring back last season's winner to open the runway show.  Thank the gods cuz Lisa is old and homely.  In the end, Tyra gave her long speech, the judges mulled over the girls' good and bad points and Sophie was declared the winner.  Yay!  She totally deserved it and I'm LOL that a Brit is America's Next Top Model.  Yep, Tyra, you've scraped the bottom of the American barrel.

Around the World In 80 Plates went to Morocco.  I hope I spelled that right.  I had no idea they spoke French there.  This time, the group is split into 3 teams.  Hmmm...the white team is white people, the black team is black people and the red team is mixed.  Maybe they should pick other colors.  The challenges are to first ID and buy spices in a mix w/ a weird name.  I don't understand why they can't find cinnamon.  Really?  Aren't they chefs w/ a sense of smell?  Everybody's pushy and shovey but the black team wins that round even though they came to the shop last.  Then the teams have to do that tea pouring thing that Moroccans love to do.  It's messy and the Americans make it look stupid.  The reason you do it slowly and gracefully is so you don't disturb the tea leaves in the pot but the Americans do it fast and clumsy.  The poor guide and judge guy is about to pull his hair out.  You can tell the very minute he gives up and says to himself, "Whatever."  The white team wins and gets the exceptional ingredient which is not an ingredient.  It's a local guy who can show them the ropes and translate.  Since all the teams have to cook a tagine, all the teams go off to taste one.  Finally they go to their hotel and eat again.  You can tell the chefs aren't paying the hotel tabs cuz everything is swanky.  Then the chefs hit the market and get cooking.  There's a bit of a fiasco w/ waiters who don't speak English and missing beets hot out of the oven.  How come the wait staff had them?  Since when do you serve food out of humongous roasting pans?  I have a feeling the wait staff was hungry.  What?  There's no craft services?  Chaz proves he's an idiot by opening his mouth and that he can't cook by cooking couscous and roasted vegetables sans vegetables in 2 hours.  Nookie had a good point.  What the heck was he doing the whole time when couscous only takes 20 minutes to make and it was served cold?  Chaz tries to blame the time loss on arguing over the beets but Avery had told him to shut up about it.  Who knows?  Maybe they just didn't show Chaz grousing in the corner for an hour and a half.  Oh, so he's not just an idiot, he's a douchebag too.  Liz does front of house for her team and she and Jenna are getting along.  Jenna and Nicole have vowed never to not serve dessert and their team is the only one to serve one.  They prove sweet tooths live all over the world and I loved the people sneaking off w/ other peoples' desserts.  Curtis and Cat ask the diners which team they liked and the diners say white team.  Tah Dah!  Red team is the winner.  Liz is declared the winning chef.  This time the chefs are better about taking credit for their dishes.  Nookie does a really good job of diversion.  So the black team votes all for Avery and the white team votes all for Chaz.  Liz breaks the tie w/ a very wise choice and boots Chaz.  Yay!  Thank you Liz, all the world will be sending you a lovely gift basket at Christmas.  All I can say is, I'm still liking Gary because he's hot stuff and I like his t-shirt.  Now that the really annoying people are gone, I'm wondering who's next since the eliminations are up to the chefs?  Well, we'll see.

Melissa and Joey is back and it's just as funny as ever.  They've moved Joey into his own pad but very close to Melissa's house so now if they put them together, it's not going to be weird.  The theme this season seems to be Melissa's home renovation.  This is a good illustration of the burst housing bubble.  You bought a crappy house and now you have to live in it.  There's less focus on the kids but I have a feeling it's only because the season is early.  These kids are amazing cuz they look the same as last season.  I'm thinking they must be older than their characters.  Rhea Perlman and Danny Devito's daughter is so cute, you just want to put her in your purse like a toy dog and she really has a spunky personality.  The cast chemistry is great and both the lead people have tons of energy to spare that keeps the show moving.  Thank you ABC Family channel for a multicam sitcom that's fun to watch.

I'm really looking forward to the return of Hell's Kitchen and Masterchef.  There's really something about that Gordon Ramsey that we just can't get enough of.  Maybe its that he says to people exactly what we want to say to people.  I wish he'd tell Joe Bastianich that he's a donkey's backside.  Just because your mother's a famous tv show cook and you own restaurants w/ people doesn't mean you have the cred to be a cooking show judge.  I'd like to see him cook once.

Well, that's it.  Still waiting for The Closer to begin it's final season.  Until next time people; stay tuned.