Most of the shows either had their finales or premieres so we're in the middle of the new shows except for 1 that did start this week. There's quite a few, so I'd better get going.
The Amazing Race was in Bora Bora. I can't believe the racers are actually staying in one place for 2 episodes. They started out w/ a bit of delay due to water taxis not being 24/7. In the meantime, there was a lot of talk about alliances and the who would get the 2nd express pass. It was kind of stupid and boring; like watching people mingle at a corporate party. Finally the first batch of racers got underway to find the wedding chapel and the shaman-like guy to get a blessing. If I was one of the guys from the unmarried couples, I would've been very suspicious because who knows what the guy is saying? They could've been accidentally married. But...I guess not. If you don't have an American license, you're not married. Then they had the detour with a choice of finding 2 red pearls from oysters they had to dive for or setting up an underwater picnic thing. Yo, twins! When you can't swim, it's probably not wise to choose something you have to swim at. I don't know why they didn't try the other detour after 10 minutes because the 2 detours were in the same spot. Instead, they splashed, choked, floundered around and considered skipping and taking a penalty. Meanwhile, everybody else finished the detour. The next task was to use jetskis to find the roadblock on another little island. Unfortunately, the Asian sisters had to do that alone and buzzed around the ocean, lost for quite awhile. Well, Asian women aren't known for their sense of direction. Meanwhile, back at the detour, the 2nd batch of racers had shown up. They were the teams that chose to take the penalty in the last epidode. By the time the twin doctors decided to switch detour tasks, it was too late. Everybody had passed them up. The roadblock looked like fun but the show made it look really hard. A racer from each team had to kick a ball from one end of the sand to the other while on stilts. It was all about technique. It was obvious who had experience using stilts. It was surprising the Asian sister didn't do well. It looked like she had good technique and Asian women are known for having good balance. Anyway, the hunky hockey brothers hit the finish mat first. The twin doctors met their literal water-loo and were eliminated from the race. Note to future racers; learn to swim for pete's sake. For that matter, learn to ride a bike, ride an animal, drive a stick shift, climb rocks and rappell. It seems you're going to have to do one or more of those activities during the race.
Worst Cooks in America had it's premiere. I have to say. This is the funniest show on the Food Network. Some people say it's kind of a set up thing w/ fake contestants. I have news for everybody. After the first season of Survivor, all reality show contestants are fake; except for most of the chefs on the expert cooking shows. Sometimes they seem unreal too. But yeah. Most reality show contestants have agents and are the people who'll do anything to be on a show because they have no real talent and have no other option but to be stupid on camera. I don't care because the best part of competition reality is seeing people eliminated. The candidates for the show this year are especially stupid and dramatic. There's a guy who says he's a doctor but that's questionable because he's a chiropractor. He's a glorified masseuse with more college credits. The scary thing is, he's a complete dork when using any kitchen utensil. There's the contestants w/ perpetual scared and puzzled looks on their faces. There are the contestants who don't listen and therefore seem really retarded. Then there are a couple of truly sincere people who's families have nominated them, had no idea they were bad cooks and really want to learn. These are the people I love to watch because you know their families had to do interventions to convince them they were bad cooks. They also seem to have bad palates and I can totally relate. People hate my food too but I like it. Poor Ann and Bobby have the task of teaching these people to cook and be the test tasters too. I think some of the people are purposely chosen by the producers to drive Ann and Bobby nuts. The funniest thing about this show is, they don't treat the cooks like first time cooks. Some of the cooking challenges are really challenging to even real cooks. I love the look of fear that comes on the cooks' faces. The first thing was picking teams and then the cooks had to make signature dishes. The black lady who's totally gaga over Bobby Flay lost her fake fingernail while cooking and I about fell out of my chair laughing cuz she thought it might be in her dish. OMG! Some of the dishes looked terrible, some sounded terrible and some were both. Can you say mole marinara pasta? Neither Ann nor Bobby threw up so they were actually edible. One cook from each team was eliminated. The lady who burned everything so she knew it was done and the guy who tried to make a dessert were sent home. Bye! You're still bad cooks.
The Biggest Loser was full of surprises. First, it was announced that the fatties all had to lose 70 pounds altogether. In early seasons, that would've been totally doable but I don't know what's happened to the huge weight losses they used to have. I have a feeling they're not allowing fatties to live on diet shakes anymore. For only 7 fatties, 10 pounds apiece made their blood pressure go way up. Then the kids were brought in to save the day. They had to do little challenges to lower the required poundage loss. The kids did really well w/ the trivia, guessing caloric dishes and the physical challenges to see if they could improve their beginning of the show times. Of course they improved. It would've been really embarrassing for the producers if they hadn't improved. After the kids, the fatties only had to lose 61 pounds. Then a lot of revelations and drama ensued. We learned Francelina and Jeff are getting close, aw... Gina's a lawyer. I knew there was something about her I didn't like. And, there are a few weenies on the ranch this season. That's bad because if you have really lazy schlubs around you, it's not hard to look like a hard worker when you're really not. No wonder there hasn't been any really impressive weight loss. Remember, the fatties have nothing to do but lose weight. Jillian tries her motivation thing on Alex and instead of making her work harder, it makes the girl curl up and cry about her life. Oy. Gina is the whiniest cryingest fattie on the ranch and she looks horrible w/out makeup. She also has the figure of a nesting doll. She is especially bratty and whiny this week. Maybe it's hormones. It couldn't possibly be because she's just an adult whiny brat. She has a thin skin around Joe and it seems he's kind of oblivious about it. At this point, I think I did a little fast forwarding. Then the fatties had to dig in a sand course to find arrows and eventually a flagpole they had to erect at the end. They did it in time to earn 10 pounds knocked off of their required poundage loss for the week. Then there was an in show commercial for a certain sandwich franchise. The weigh-in turned out to be very surprising. If the fatties did not lose 51 pounds altogether, there was a red line that eliminated the person who lost the least percentage of weight. It turns out, the fatties should've been more worried than they looked. Hey fatties, make sure and take a dump before the pre-weigh-in. Yeesh. The trainers were more upset by the low weight losses than the fatties were. In the first seasons, 2 or 3 pound weight loss would've made people cry and panic but they didn't. In the end, Francelina was eliminated and didn't even look upset. Actually, she was probably the only fattie who didn't cry, ever. Bye Francie. Now we're stuck w/ Joe and the whiners. It sounds like a 50's band.
Face Off seems to have a new guy to beat: Eric F. He may look Goth scary but he's very talented and managed to win the immunity. The first challenge was take a fairytale girl and make her a horror character complete w/ story. Eric F. made Little Red Riding Hood into a werewolf which totally gave a cool twist to that story. I never thought that the wolf might've been biting people out of anything but hunger. They only had like a half an hour too and he did a fantastically awesome job. The other artists did well too but didn't twist their stories as well. He also won a make-up box and I found out, pro boxes are very expensive. Wow! Worth thousands of dollars? For the main challenge, the artists were shown cool colorful abstract photos. They chose which one they wanted to work with and then it was revealed that each one was a microscopic close-up of a different insect. Cooool... The artists had to make a look that not only looked like their insect but used the patterns and color of the photo too. One guy made a beautiful blue butterfly w/ huge impressive wings and won best in show. One guy made a firefly but didn't show the photo in his design. Anthony disappointed everyone w/ a plain looking weird ant but was kind of saved by his model who worked the look. Eric F. was lucky he had immunity because his wolf spider wasn't as scary looking as the real thing. Some of the artists had bad luck which caused time management problems. In the end, Alam's look that seemed okay to me was totally hated by the judges. It's not ok to just tie wings on. Ohhh... She was sent home. Aw...bye Alam. I'll miss your Japanese cartoon inspired looks.
Survivor was so stupid. They only did one challenge. I hate that. It was mainly conniving and planning on the unFavorites team and fighting w/ the ex-marine on the Fans team. The unFavorites woke up and realized they'd better try harder at the challenge. The challenge consisted of some pulling some on a raft to a platform where they dove to pull sticks to release rings. The Fans made a mistake by having 3 women do the diving thing. They might have pulled it off in calm water but skinny women fighting the ocean is a whole different thing. Then they were pulled back to shore and had others had to do a ring toss. This season, Malcolm isn't proving to be the hero in the challenges. Then again, he wasn't in his season either cuz his tribe almost was wiped out. He might be doing it on purpose because many times at the merge, the biggest threat is voted out first. Anyway, the unFavorites won. The Fans tribe is unevenly split and it's totally obvious. There's a group of 2 romantic couples (4 people) who think they're the pretty people. Then there's a group of 6. I think the pretty people are pretty much sunk. They shouldn't pick fights but they do. Gawd, those jocks and cheerleaders are so stupid. Although one of the pretty people guys did find the HII. At Tribal council you could tell the people just wanted to vote and go home. Jeff had to use the cattle prod to make them talk and then they really didn't say anything. In the end, the blonde lady from the pretty people group was voted out. I think they should re-name themselves sitting ducks. The ex-marine guy is actually doing the smart thing in the heat. He rests in the shade during the day and works in the cooler evening and night. Unfortunately, nobody sees him working cuz they're wiped out. Then the pretty people make the mistake of antagonizing him. Don't poke the bear! The producers are wanting to edit him to be the ass but I can tell that the large group of the tribe respect him. I don't know his name yet but I'm rooting for him. BTW, I'm not watching this show on TV.
On The Face, I can't tell you how tired I am of Carolina Kurkova's face. It's kind of homely in a white rat way w/ pale skin, long pointy nose and buck teeth. Everybody makes a big deal of the young girl w/ no modeling experience. She has a beautiful face but boy, they're right. She's very awkward and way behind in modeling skills. The mentors aren't very good teachers and just tell the models what they want. The first challenge is a quick snapping commercial shoot that gets to highlight Coco's posing talent. A blonde model wins. Whatever. Then the models go home to fight for awhile. The photoshoot is lingerie w/ each model showing a different aspect of an underwear model: innocent, sexy, flirty, sophisticated. Instead, the models all looked like they were trying to upstage each other. I didn't see the differences. Whatever. Naomi's team won. One model from each of the 2 losing teams is put up for elimination to be judged by the winning Mentor. Got that? Ok, well, Carolina sent home Naomi's model last week so Naomi returned the favor this week and it seems the young inexperienced girl is the black hammer of the season so far. These mentoring reality shows are kind of boring.
Top Chef had it's finale part 1. Kristen, the winner of last chance kitchen, was brought back but she earned it. Take that, Josie! They did a really boring thing of showing the chefs at home w/ their families. Zzzzz...okay, so they cook at home. BFD. I also don't give a rat's patoot what their family is like either. So no quickfire and right to the elimination challenge. The chefs had to just make a 3 course meal. OMG! Boring! Kristen made simple French dishes which were delicious but the judges didn't think were too creative and her dessert was just a big bowl of chocolate. Kids would've loved it. The Hawaiian guy made something that wasn't Asian and was totally raked over the coals for not showing himself in the dishes. Yeah! They wanted spam and pineapple. Brooke can do no wrong and the criticisms of her dish were really dumb and weird. I think the judges wracked their brains coming up w/ something negative to say. In the end, the Hawaiian guy was sent home and now we're definitely going to have a female Top Chef this season. Ho hum...it's been a boring season so they may as well keep it that way.
Project Runway finally broke up the big teams and made the designers work in teams of 2. Some of the designers were able to choose who they wanted to work w/. The Aussie guy got stuck w/ the mole faced lady who had the worst looks in the previous challenges. The black haired lady who thinks she's all that and doesn't want to help other people really showed her lack of talent this week. The designers had to make looks for a country singer star. I think Miranda Lambert. All I know is, she's white and not wafer thin. 1 designer in the team had to make a stage look and the other had to make a red carpet look. The curlique mustache guy made some honky tonk gown complete w/ frayed edges on the hems. The judges hated it. The Aussie guy made a gorgeous gown and proved he did know how to do strapless construction. Meanwhile, his partner, the loser lady w/ the mole on her face made a cute fringey outfit. Performers love clothes that have movement because it gives more energy to the whole stage look. The black haired lady not only made an outfit that looked boring but it made the model look fat. Terrible. Aussie and Mole Face were declared the winners and black haired unhelpful lady was sent home. Bye! Hee hee. I love when people get their just desserts.
King of the Nerds had the Nerds making music. Oh boy! First they had to create a song, then learn to dance. It was a little painful to watch but not too painful to laugh at them. I keep mixing up the teams and it seems it was the blue team who won last week and are 3's company. They're name is actually Blextrophy. The Orange team is something like Ruler's of the Golden Orb. I know there's Orb in their name. I'll just call them the Orb team. The pink haired girl from the Orb team has gotten some kind of ego and she's probably the dumbest on the team. Ohhh...she's an expert gamer. Well, so is the 2 ton schlub who lives on his mother's couch. I was also wrong about who went home last week. The curly haired leader guy stayed and the brunette arrogant guy went home. Pink haired girl didn't get along w/ him so after he left, she partied and danced around in glee. So back to the challenge. The teams then had to perform their song and do a dance to it in front of judges. Oh boy! I thought they both did a good job. One of the judges was that ukelele playing girl who does quirky characters on sitcoms. I had no idea she was part of a singing duo. Anyhoo...the judges couldn't get Blextrophy's song out of their head and the dancing was equally bad on both sides. Somehow, Orb team or orange team was declared the winners. Huh? The curly haired girl and the guy on the team were sent to the dual. They had to do a dance dance revolution kind of thing. The guy turned out to be less awkward and more experienced at the game and curly haired girl met her demise. Aw...bye. Sorry to see her go cuz of all the nerds, she seemed the most cool.
Well, that's it for this week. I didn't talk about Joe Schmoe Show because it's just more of the same. They are bringing back Lorenzo Lamas for another episode so that should be fun. ABC used The Middle to promote their telecasting the Oscars. The show was still funny. So until next time people; stay tuned.
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